₦airaland Forum

H-Star89:
I can agree with that Blyss!

@optimistic7250

I think it has to do with who they feel more comfortable around and that might just their own people. Now if they are super americanized, befriending one wouldn't be any different than befriending a white american.

...is there a problem with "befriending a white american" ...? Or did I miss something here?

thiendella: Chai! At least I tried to be courteous till the end
, but since ur so ignorant and stubborn...
So mrs - the- tubaab -who -swears -to -know -senegambians- better -than -the native- themselves, you should've started your learning journey with this very basic one
Senegambian attitude 101 : Know how to read between the lines and get what you are implicitly told since we never say things directly , we got tact , mastering this will permit you to know exactly when to zip it and when and where you may open it to say your flow of insanities.
Sooo if you knew all you claim about gambia this is how you should have interpreted my posts:
Stop spreading bullshit on a frontpage topic of this nigerian website. You don't know f**k about senegambia and africa in general, and going there of some months and whatsoever doesn't make you senegambian. Even living there the rest of your life won't make u so, so just stick to the few thing you master. And because you will never be a senegambian, it's not up to you to judge the warmness of relations between senegambians , how they define themselves and so and so... And every single senegambian would react as kandii and I did when we saw the utter bullshit you were typing here.
So now m'dame please have a sit and quit embarrassing yourself writing rubbish and thinking you're interesting.

Lol. Look at you two getting angry because the toubab got something to say, that you don`t happen to agree on.

I never said I know gambians or senegalese better than you two, did I?
I said, and it seems you two need it with a tea-spoon: the gambians I know, do NOT like being called senegambians, neither do they see themself as senegambians. Why is that so hard on you, because it does not go with how YOU feel?

I never said I was senegambian, gambian, or senegalese either. I never tried acting like one either. You are taking it way to personal, and the only reason for that, came out of your mouth just now; cause I am a toubab. Talk about the race-card, huh?

bukatyne: There is only one type of christian dear. I don't need to google what i can confirm in my Bible.

Yeah, thats why you have catholics, mormones, protestants, Jehova Witness, Pilgrims, etc, etc.

bukatyne: There is no prejudice against muslims. If you are a genuine christian, you will know there is no half christian half muslim. And a christian can't marry more than one wife! Dust your Bible and read it again.

Google is your friend.

There is different kind of christians, and different kinds of muslims. Again, google is your friend.

Oh my goodness..I made a JOKE, thiendella. If you can not even see that one on the strip, then sorry me.

And yes, I do know much about gambian culture, but do I know it all? Of course not.
And I never said they still throw babies to the hyenas, if I did, that was a damn typo.

And yes, every single gambian I know, and I hae had this discussion with almost all of them, does NOT like being called senegambians, neither do they describe themself as such. Maybe YOU do it, or people YOU know, but NONE that I know.

And you don`t know how much or little my ways and gambian ways have in common, you even said so yourself. And of course they would probably acknowledge someone from their own culture more than me, just like MY family with regarding ME. That is how many people are, sadly. Luckily, his family have been more accepting than mine.

And where do you get that this is the only image I have of gambians? Have talked about SOME things in this thread, and the only thing YOU have a hook up on, is things I said happened MANY damn years ago.

Grow up, realise that not all of the people in your own country share YOUR views on it all. The only people I know who think calling gambians senegambians is ok, is senegalese people.

all4naija: Okay! I get the picture now but your previous comment makes it looks like you are hating on men. I misunderstood you there too.

Like I said before here; I am not english, so sometimes my writing can be misunderstood

all4naija: No,I didn't miss that part. FYI,my mom is white. So, I am not about skin colors. However, I am a little bit perturbed about your view all rather perception of the male folks.

It`s not about men for me, it`s about humans. You never know if someone might cheat or not. I tell my husband I will not cheat, and I truly mean it, but still; I have no idea how life looks 30 years from now. Its not about color or men/women, it is about not knowing what the future brings. No one can tell, can they?

That does not mean I will not do my best NOT to cheat. It does not mean I believe my husband, or any man, WILL cheat. It means that you never know.

You understand what I mean?

all4naija: First and foremost, I love good girls. But, you are trying to exonerate women to be perfect here - if I can understand your comment clearly. I am a dude who would like to be fair in any of my approaches as reasonably possible. This you damn on men is touching my manliness so bad because I am a sincere dude to my girl. I don't have any girl besides her and that is the very truth. The way you paint men here is not Okay at all.

How would you react if I said there is a chance an African woman is cheat and every white woman is a w**re? That would not tell good of me neither does it speak about the truth of the matter.

No! You have to change that view or perception about men. Comeon,JallowBah. You are far better than this. I respect women and their rights and I would like them to do the same.

Thank you.

You missed the part where I said there is a chance every white man have a mistress. It is all put out on the edge in that one, look at what I responded to as well.
I am sorry if you took it offensive, but this is the truth for me:
Every man, or woman for that matter, CAN cheat. They CAN find another spouse.
You can either trust your partner, or not. I trust my husband completely, with all of my heart

And yes, there is a chance that any woman out there CAN cheat on you. You never know what can happen in life.

kandiikane: Oh here, just for you.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3MMllrBLZs&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DP3MMllrBLZs

http://m.youtube.com/results?client=mv-google&gl=GB&hl=en&search_type=search_all&q=senegambians+&submit=Search

There was no such thing my foot.

Still, 98% of these videos are in UK. I have no relation to UK whatsoever. How the hell am I supposed to know, or even care, how they celebrate it THERE?

kandiikane: What did you youtube? The gambian cultural week in olso? What exactly is your point? That it says Gambian therefore there is no such thing as Senegambian?

You've lived there? How long 3months? So, now you know soooo much?

You are very contradictory. You mentioned the strip and you deny it too? Leaving kids to get eaten by hyenas in the forest is not killing them? Stick to your stories.

If you were not trying to pull the race card then how the hell does talking about how likely it is for your husband to have a second wife means I'm insecure? How does it correlate?


First, you said there is no such thing as senegambian, now you say those you ask hate being called that? Seriously, how do you want us to believe this when your quote implies it's not true because you've never heard of it.

Get your facts right, mate!


We are not talking about African men but Gambian men. It's not a good attribute but Gambian men are very very promiscious and are very likely to have a second wife, especially if they are married to a westerner. It hurts but it's the goddamn truth.


Don't get it twisted love, just because you're white doesn't give you special treated for me to pick on you. You will still get the same reply if you were from congo if you spew false information. You say your husband's family told you the things you do know but I am telling you the things you've written here are false and you should go get proper information. I doubt all your husband's people gave you this information. 30years ago people didn't even know what down syndrome was in Gambia. So, how the hell would they know the kid had down syndrome?

You cannot tell me that they hate being called senegambian when you originally said there was no such thing. If you had originally known about the word, you won't have written, "there was no such thing."

I do not remeber writing "there is no such thing as a senegambian". If so, that is my fault in how I put my words. What I meant was what I said later on; no gambian people I know like to be referred to as senegambians. I dont know why I have to repeat myself so many times.

And yes, you seem insecure, when you in a discussion about other things, pull up my marriage to try to undermine me. That is how I take it, cause you did not talk about marriages in general, you talked about MY marriage.

And no, many people did not know 30 years from now what a kid with down syndrome was. They knew it was not a good thing, and it would be "better" to put the baby in the bush. It is a harsh history, but it does not make it less of a reality. Still now, people throw away perfectly healthy kids, so I dont know why you find this one so hard to believe.

And you mentioned the strip first, not me. What does that even have to do with all of this? If you mention it, it is then wrong of me to mention it after?

And gambian men are not more promiscuous than most western men. At all. The difference is that while western men get a mistress, the men on the gambian side get a wife in stead.
And that is still not MOST of them, it is SOME of them.

You have just deciced in your mind that everything I say is wrong now, and to take everything I write in your own matter, instead of trying to see what I really mean. Also, have in mind that I am not english, so the way I write is far from flawless, and might lead to misunderstandings. In stead of flaring up, like you are doing now, check first.

I NEVER stated there is no such thing as a senegambian. I said that the gambians I know, do NOT consider themself, nor like being called, senegambians. Seems like that is hard on you, for some matter.

( And no matter how long or short time I lived in Gambia, I never claimed I know "soooo much". Stop trying to make fun of me, stay to the discussion instead. Up to now, I have been nothing but polite to you, still I am starting to wonder why the hell I even bother. You are just angry, even jumping to try to make this into a black and white-thing.. )

Alright, I youtubed it for you:

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Gambian+cultural+week+oslo+2012&oq=gambian+cul&gs_l=youtube.3.0.35i39l2j0l2j0i10.450.2999.0.4238.15.11.1.0.0.0.260.1820.0j8j3.11.0...0.0...1ac.1.ZEFOJF833p8

Lots to choose from.

http://www.gambiansinnorway.com/gamoslo/

kandiikane: LOL! Insecure? Please! Wait, are you now trying to slowing involve the race card or what? Tell me what am I insecure about, the fact that you're white, the fact that you are from norway or is it the fact that you married a Gambian? Or insecure that a gambian married a white woman? Lol! Oh, hunny! You have so much to learn.

Laughing at the fact that you claim, your culture to be similar to mine which is absolutely false is not what you call being naive. You need to google the meaning of naïve then look in the mirror.

I am telling you what you do not know. You think you know all about the Gambian culture but you do not. You've only been there on holiday. You say you want to learn but you do not want to open your ears.

I have not taken anything out of context but showing you the amount of rubbish you've spewed here.


You continue to claim vast knowledge of my culture but yet feeling hurt because I mentioned that your husband may have a wife home. No, hun if you know so much about my culture then you should know this. You want to accept that marabouts use humans for rituals yet you don't want to accept your husband may have a second fulani wife because he's close to your heart. Double standards, my friend!

No, you haven't asked any Gambian about the term because you clearly stated you've never heard it, you mentioned probably on the strip- is it because of the senegambian hotel?lol so, you are lying. Even outsiders who have never been there before still term the region and people as SeneGambians talkless of those living there. We are proud of who we are and we try our best to come together as one in every aspect.

Guess what I hate? When outsiders like you marry in the culture and think they now know every single thing about it. Even those born and bred there are still learning talkless of you who has never lived there. It's true that an outsider who studies cultures can know more that someone who was born there but you know absolutely nothing. And no, hun. I am not putting myself above you, I am only trying to correct you.

P.S. I have no reason to learn about norway. Not interested. If you want to open a thread about the similarities of killing children in both cultures, go right on ahead. It will just show how ignorant you are because that is not the right way to try to feel connected to an African culture.

Racecard, seriously? I am talking about your attitude in a discussion, where you are trying to undermine my marriage to proove your point, which is not necassary.
How you got that to become an issue of race, beats the hell out of me.

I have neither claimed that I know everything about gambian culture, have I? I know much, I never said I know all.
And yes, I have been there on a holiday, I also lived there. Not that it makes any difference to you, though, cause in your head..I am just another white chick, thinking she knows everything, while me, on the other hand, is just writing about the things that i DO know, and things that gambian people are TELLING me.
You think all gambians see things the same way? Nah, exactly. I have said, more than once, that everything I have talked about here, is things my husband, his family, and his friends, have told me.

I never talked about the strip, I never lived on the strip either. Sorry.
I talked about the gambian people I know, who tell me they don`t like being called senegambians. Why is that one so hard on you? Why does that make you so angry?

And yes, of course there is always a chance an african man have a second wife, just like there is always a chance a white man have a mistress on the side. You can either choose to believe what you see, and hear, from your spouse, or not. What other choices are there..? I can see how one man feels about having more than one wife, and how another man feels on it. I know both kinds. The ones who want another wife, or already have it, are actually pretty open about it. I even know norwegian women married as a second wife, and is contempt about that.

And I never talked about killing babies. I talked about women having babies with f.ex downs syndrome, and leaving them in the forrest to die.

I never claimed I have the full-on truth, like you are doing. Let me repeat myself, since you seem to need it; the gambians I know, do NOT like being called senegambians.

thiendella: These are two gambian videos uploaded by gambians and yet they titled it senegambian. A part of my family lives in gambia and google is your friend you know, you just have to google ''senegambian'' to see how many gambians see themselves are senegambians. And diplomatic relations between the two people are at their coldest now but there is no animosity between the 2 people , because they are conscious that they are the same.
Denying senegambia as a geographic and cultural entity is like denying the sweetness of sugar. In wolof we use to say '' duggal fo hadj'' wich mean only enter in where you fit . And I find it pretty audacious for a stranger to face a senegalese and a gambian and trying to explain them how different they are

I never talked about UK, did I? Youtube Gambian cultural week, and Senegal culture week.
I never sad ANYHWERE that all gambians claim what the gambians I know claim. You don`t see that difference?

kandiikane: You are going off the mark hun. You do not read neither do you try to comprehend ones post. I did not say it's more correct to be brought of being seneGambian than being a Gambian, you are trying to act like you know it all but you don't.

My point to you was, we are separate countries, we are one and the same whether there is a huge economical difference or not. It's not the price of groundnuts that makes two people the same. You said you never met a Gambian who refer to themselves as senegambian, I told you that's because you know born and bred Gambians, either that or you have not asked them about the phrase.
When you ask a Gambian where they are from, they will say Gambian, duh! They will refer to themselves as senegambians when they are trying to explain cultures and values. Majority of people never heard of Gambia but senegal, therefore, to get a clear view of gambia they give senegal's cultures practices as an example which very similar in every aspect.

Didn't you say your husband was travelling to gambia to stay for a while? Is he still there? LOL!

Don't be naïve, love. Ofcourse, we are individuals but it doesn't stop you practicing what your people practice.

Your culture and Gambian culture is similar? Oh, you mean they throw down syndrome kids in the forest for wolves to feed on just like you said gambians also use to throw down syndrome kids in the forest for hyena's to feed on? Lol, taaa! Please.

Hun, you don't know much about Gambian culture for I would have actually agreed with you if you were right. If thiendella would have agreed with you but there huge flaws in certain things which I've quoted you on. It's great that you want to learn about my culture but it's best if you get correct facts and not just hearing the word marabout and assume they practice using body parts for money too.

You are taking many, many things out of context here, lie the last piece about throwing babies. You think this is something that has only happen in Gambia and Norway? Don`t be naive, and don`t try to act like you are naive either. It is an ugly history, which the whole world share.
Like I said; if you wish to discuss the gambian vs norwegian culture, feel free to mail me.

And yeah, I have asked if they consider themself senegambians or gambians, I have had that discussion with many of them, simply because the GAMBIANS I know, get irritated when white people call them Senegambians.
"Oh, you are Senegambian."
"No, I am gambian. I am from Gambia. "
Never have I heard a single gambian talk about their culture or ways, and referring to it as Senegambian ways, food, culture, dance, music, weddings, etc, etc. I don`t know where YOU live, but specially Sweden and UK have a long history of travelling to Gambia, hence they know the difference.

Kinda like that. Norway, Sweden and Denmark have much in common as well, still; I am norwegian.

And, where is the "lol"-part in my husband going back to his own country..? You think he went to see some second wife? You are sinking low now, trying to insult my marriage, with nothing to base it on, other than "many muslims practice polygamy". Yeah, and many does not. Why do you feel the need to put my husband in the first box, instead of the second? Why do you feel a need to undermine me, and place yourself above me, are you THAT insecure..?

Wazobia...thank you.

kandiikane: Well this whole quote is a lie, because even in sweden(isn't that where you're from) they have cultural events with titles such as Senegambian. I think you've been a few born and bred swedish Gambians who are feeding ýou incorrect information. Don't tell me what I need to be proud of. I am proud of the cultures we share that is why we acknowledge eachother.

No, you do not know anything about Gambia with all the rubbish you spewed here. As I have written before don't try to belong and talk shyt as you feel you have the right just because you're married to a Gambian. You have no knowledge of the culture you've been married in. When I told you, your husband might have a wife back home, you thought I was lying. Well, who would want to believe that, still doesn't mean it's false. It has nothing to do with you but many Gambian men would also marry another wife who share the same cultural values as them. It's quite big on polygamy. LOL!

Lol. In Norway, they have Gambian events, and Senegalese events. I have been to both.
Gambians and senegales in Norway come together good, they don`t talk bad about each other at all, and yes, they all say the culture is much the same, but at the same time..it does not take more than to look at prices for clothes, shoes, rice, fare, nuts, pure shea butter to see that there is f.ex a big economical difference.

And no, the gambians and senegalese I know, are all immigrants, except for ONE who lived in Sweden from he was 14, and is now in Norway, close to 32 years old.

How is it incorrect information for them to say they don`t consider themself Senegambians? How is it MORE correct for you to be proud of being a Senegambian, than for them to be more proud of calling themself only ONE?

And no, I did not thought you were lying, I knew you were lying. Big difference I know many people marry more than one, and many people DON`T. Individuals and all, remember..?
And my "culture" has more things in common with the gambian culture than you think. If you wish to know more about that, either make an own thread dedicated to trying to GBAM me, or send me an e-mail, hon. I would be happy to take that discussion with you

And what rubbish have I spewed here..? Nah, nothing. I know much about gambian culture, and I still have more to learn. And I love it. Not all, but so far, most of it.

And yeah, I am SURE you meant Norway.

Violence. Not a single slap one or two times, because everyone makes mistakes in life. ( And notice I say one or two..after that, I would leave. Might come back after a long, long time, if I see he changes. )
But beatings? No.

Everyone can make mistakes, and for me, that includes cheating. A one night stand, where our marriage was almost on the road to being finished, I could, to some degree, understand. Like it? No. Respect it? No. But I do believe it can be worked out.

And no matter what, I would not divorce fastfast. I would probably move out for a year or two, and see if we could work it out or not before finishing it completely.

Amen.

The differences, and making compromise on those.

People are very different, and when you live together, and wish to live together nicely, you always need to make compromise. So, like Binger said, being able to say what you like and not like in a good matter, and to be able to try to change, and see things from your spouses view.

I can call my husbands bestfriend for "hon" as in honey ( Hey, hon, how are you? Long time. ),and I call his younger brother sweetie when we talk about serious things.

He calls my very bestfriend "hon" as well, but no one else, no.

all4naija: Lol. You are good at maneuverability of information. I admire your stances though.

However, how are you doing?

How am I maneuvering anything here..?

I am good. Sad, but good And you?

Honey..your story is not about a typical naija-man, but about a typical psychopat.
I am so sorry for you, and I hope you came out strong at the end.

No person should have to go through this kinda bull.

kandiikane: Yes, there is a thing called 'senegambian'. I am a Gambian and I also class myself as senGambian because we share the same culture and have the same lifestyles. It's just a thin line that separates us. You should also look at the map, we are technically inside the belly of senegal. I think you should stick to things regarding sweden because some of the things you come up with are quite ignorant, just because you married a Gambian.

Well, then you are the first one I have heard say that, and I have talked to many about this one

You should be more proud of your borders, though. Theres only a thin line dividing all countries, hon, that is not something new. Still, I don`t count myself as Svorsk ( whick is what they call people who speak a effed up dialect mixed between norwegian and swedish ), even though Norway was under Sweden before.
See what I mean here?

And, don`t try to patronize me. Maybe you should find out what country I actually AM from before starting to tell me to focus on Sweden. I probably know more about Gambia than Sweden.

[quote author=thiendella][/quote]Yeah, I know.

And I am not saying they are recognized as strangers, but they are still GAMBIANS, not Senegambians.

Fifty-Fifty:
I‘m not here to tell u who to marry or who not to marry. But one thing I must tell u, that Islam protects women morethan ANY religion on the planet earth does. I know some myopic minds will say Islam permits polygamy: yes of course; but is not better than keeping mistress here & there spreading both curable & uncurable diseases? And how many prominent Xtians ar married to MANY wives? Islam, they will say, discriminates as regards inheritance: but they wouldn‘t tell u dt woman‘s share is unequevocally stated & ds can ONLY be found in d Qur‘an; & dt her needs must be caterred for by her male relatives how low/high whatsoever. Islam, they will say, commands women to cover their body; hav u ever seen a picture of Mary in jeans or skirts? Who did Mary resemble most between Muslims & todays Xtians? May God guide u to make a right decision.

If you expect your woman to "cover up" and follow the Quran on that note, I sure hope you do the same:

* No pants below the ancle
* Beard as big as your fist
* Never show anything between your belly and knees to any other than your wife

Right?

Damn, there is a lot of prejudice on muslim people in here..

First; The Quran acknowledge Jesus as a prophet. So the people saying "THE MAN MUST KNOW ABOUT JESUS!!!"...he probably already does.

2: A muslim man can marry more than one woman IF, and only IF, he is able to take care of them equally, and the kids it will lead to.

3: A christian can also marry more than one, and many do.

4: Marriage is about compromise, trust and respect.

aniffy4eva: Depends on how much influence "OTHER PEOPLE" have over both of you. Always expect some half-baked,ignorant morons to start quoting scriptures on why you shouldn't because they don't know how to MIND their BUSINESSES! They'll either ask one to convert the other or walk away from the relationship. That's a lot of pressure for a couple to bear.

However, if you don't really care about what "OTHER PEOPLE" think and are willing to give it a shot, then please go ahead with your muslim HUNK .

By the way....
MANY christian/muslim marriages have succeeded.
MANY christian/christian marriages have failed.
MANY muslim/muslim marriages have failed.

Just so you know.. i'm a christian.

I could not have said it better.
The hardest thing for us ( he is a muslim, I am agnostic, brought up liberal-christian ) has been the outsiders trying to influence us.
Stranges, family and friends. It takes much work to keep their prejudice on it all outside, and focus on OUR life and happiness, and how WE can make it better, and enjoy OURSELF.
This is OUR marriage, it does not concern anyone else, as long as it is good for US.

Just remember that you will have to teach your kids about both religions. You will be responsible for the christian part, he will e responsible for the muslim part.
You have to decide on how to do with name-givings for the kids.
Christian school, muslim school, public school...
Sunday school, arabic school.
Pig-meat?
Etc, etc.

You will probably have some more obsticles on the way than others, it depends on how you both are as a person, and HOW religious you both are.

Well..I asked the tarot-cards about my husband.
He asked "native doctor" about me.

Guess we both got the answers we wanted and needed.