₦airaland Forum

Originalsly: Hmmm....all this talk about reasoning with a kid. ... nonsense. If at age 4 you can't get your child to blindly follow your instructions then you are failing as a parent....and that child would be a problem wherever he goes....school, church,etc. "Spare the rod and spoil the child"...."bend the tree when it is young" ...am done.

We are all individuals, and we are so from the moment we are born.
Some are more stubborn than others, some are more filled with smiles and joy than others.
You can not expect things to work the same ways on all kids, but I do NOT agree in beating. A smack on the hand, or the but*, yes. Nothing more than that, no.
When a kid is 4years of age, they understand what it means to have f.ex privileges taken away from them. Use that instead of beating.

Blyss: How in the hell is that considered healthy? Around my way, no matter what race you come from, you'd be considered unhealthy (anorexic) by most.

Try telling that to the young girls living on 1 apple and childrens-portions of food every day in this country.
It is insane.

Well..since I live in Scandinavia, they say that "super-healthy is the new skinny".
No body fat, eating superhealthy, and being...chicken, you could say. Some figures have come a little bit back compared to ten years ago, but still, the ideal looks like this:

[img]http://static.vg.no/uploaded/image/2012/7/18/leiseg2.jpg[/img]

This girl is the most read blog in my country, and this is what most women in my country see as the ideal-body.

...I do NOT agree with them. As long as you are HEALTHY, I don`t care. The most beautiful thing a woman can carry, is confidence.

It CAN affect the hips, because of the way the seat is made. It is the same problem with the baby carrier called Baby Bjorn. The kids are sitting in a position where the blood don`t go down to the legs too good because of the way the hips are placed. The best sitting-position is the spreaded way they sit on the back the traditional way in Africa.

Many kids have, in Europe, been discovered blue all down their legs, after using the chair or Baby Bjorn, because of bad blood-circulation.
It is much more difficult to spot that on african babies..

All kids get tantrums at times, it goes with their age

But, don`t under-estimate kids. They understand a whole lot more than what people seem to think they do. Don`t talk to small kids with babyvoices, treat them like small individuals, and with respect. For us, we started early letting her know crying t get her ways would not work. "Don`t even try, honey, I can hear this is crocodile-tears. Are you finished?" If she did not finished, I would tell her "alright, then we will just leave." And we left.
If she stopped, I gave/give her credit for it, and continued.
We started this when she was around 6months, and now she is 2, and I still use the same approach.

But now, I can also tell her "we are going to the shop. If you act good, and help mama with the shopping, you will get a juice when we finish, ok?"
Take your time, don`t stress, and let the kid help you. Tell them to pick the smaller things from the shelf ( non-break-able.. ) and put in the cart, and give them credit. They learn much from it as well And don`t come with treats about leaving if they don`t behave, and then stay after yelling at them. If you say you will leave when they act bad, leave when they act bad.

And yes, I know going to the marked in Africa is different than going to a supermarked. In the marked in Africa, I just throw her on my back, get what I need fast-fast, get her a banana to eat while she is sitting on me, and leave.

wazlee: u must be an Africana

Nope.