₦airaland Forum

Misses...is that picture of you??

If so..you are stunning!

jay bee: So if the maths don't add up then i ain'tba real man. Na real wa
So what should she be spending her money on supposing we both earn roughly the same or either party earns slightly more?
What do i know, i could have sworn marriage is meant to be a partnership

You should both contribute to the household, both financially, and physically.

Nimshi: And you'll certainly find an easy replacement, eh? I'd accept your 'kick him out' statement as mild joke.

Of course, the man ought to offer his support; he ought to play his part. But here's the hint of the post you responded to: there're traditional tasks for the woman in the home; all things given, the woman ought to take responsibility for these things; taking responsibility does not always necessarily mean she would have to execute them; but it means that she takes the 'blame' when they're not. My position is that it is important for the woman to financially contribute to the running of the home, and that this means she ought to have income independent of the man. The rest fo the details can be sorted. That means the woman ought to reject any arrangement that would rob her of the means of earning independent income.
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If your read what I said, I actually said that these kind of issues tend to pop up before marriage, which means I would have kicked him out even before we got married. Long time before.
Luckily, my husband was raised traditionally, with the woman taking care of everything in the house and the field, picking water 10km from the house, etc.
He said he dont want his wife to have the burden of everything on her. He cooks, he cleans, he put the baby to sleep. He do laundry, he hangs up the laundry, and do everything WITH me.
And I am damn lucky to have a man like that.

dayokanu: ^^ What do you mean by Beast of burden ma?

You mean once a woman gets married she stops all form of financial responsibilities?

Before she was married, she was paying her own rent, taking care of stuff, she decided to have a family then why cant the responsibilities continue? at least that was why she got an education or training in the first place

Or when you dont trust your husband, you stop all responsibilities to even your own children, pay your own fair share of the rent of where you live, food you eat, clothes you wear and the life you currently live

Exactly.

roymary: I will ask her if she has finally gotten her dream job at the Brothel.

[img]http://4.bp..com/-fN_DHh9hZYc/TcDGYuY5zyI/AAAAAAAAK9M/5SjcsMrLSss/s1600/face-palm-demotivational-poster-1233926135.jpg[/img]

kokosheen: Personal experience having stayed with them for a year (NYSC). I taught in a school, so it wouldn't do me well dishing my (s)escapades here

I have been living with m fulani husband for three years, and his family in Africa for some months.
I have also lived with fulani people here in Europe.

So..I dont understand what you are trying to say here? That fulanis are kinky, so the earrings match them, or...?

kokosheen: Kinkiness is the forte of Fulani chicks, gam.

Once you break down the cultural barrier, you'd be so so surprised. My assessment still stands.

Care to elaborate that one?

jidegirl12: @kay God bless your family, good foundation you've got there and it's instilled in you to do the same .

I work my A**s off (psych Nurse ) and still run 2 businesses here(franchisee) to make ends meet and my hubby does equally ( not the same field tho) and that doesn't make him less of a man after all we wanted the best private schools in our region, good vaca every year,and nice things for us and our kids.

He doesn't have to tell me to bring it, I give it cos its my duty as a member of the family. And trust me you can't talk to that man anyhow despite all my accomplishments, nah ! I don't even like to go there with him at all, I always take my chill pill cos I can't win( lol).

With all the above, you still continue to strive cos you don't want the businesses to fail so all hands on deck.

@jallow(hope I'm correct sorry), I know where you're coming from but hey I can't judge you , different strokes for different folks , if that rule rocks your boat , kudos to you sister .

I think you might have not understood me correct..

I want my husband to work, and I want to work as well. We have to, because the country we live in is expensive, so to survive good ( and by good I mean not having to turn every penny.. ), we both have to work.
And when both of us work outside the house, the house-chores is for both of us to do.

apache77: For a European, you write good English. You must have gone to good schools. No pun intended, toots, but most of the European girls who come on here write so much gibberish you get a headache trying to read them.

Or did you by any chance attend a Nigerian school?

Back to topic: He loves you and cares for you. If he wasn't buying you all those fancy clothes and shoes, would you be here saying you want to learn to cook his food n learn his culture? Leave the hustler jor.Dont go snooping into his business again..shagg him and mind your business

Lol.

You do know that in most european contries, the kids start to learn english around the age of 9?
And for all we know, she might even be english.

And yes, it is an old topic, and I doubt she will come back to give any answers, but it would be interesting to know what happen.

Oh goodness...so people can`t get married to a woman because she have more than one earring in her ear? Lol.

Guess the fulanis have their reasons for choosing mainly other fulanis, then. Some of the girls have up to 4-5 in one ear, that she got when she was a child.

jidegirl12: You'd kick a hard working Nigerian man out?

Because he doesn't help you with emptying the dishwasher/ change diapers/ cook....,

Sorry to ask you but are you a Nigerian?? ( not an insult but just curious)

If my GAMBIAN man did not help around the house, then we would never been married. These kind of things tend to pop up long before you put a ring on a persons finger, so yes, I would kick him out.

My husband was making less money than me for a period of time, which means I was working 8hours 5-6 days a week, and he was home with the baby in the daytime, while working now and then. I payed about 80% of everything.
He took care of about 70% of everything around the house, because, as he said; "you pay the bills, you go to work to take care of us, that is the least I could do". And THAT is a real mans attitude.

Later on, he payed 50, I payed 50. We split up the cooking and the cleaning about 50/50, but we still had some things that only I did, and some that only he did.

If we were both paying 50/50, and he expected me to take care of the house more than him...yes, there would be a big problem.

WhyAWhy: What's with this raising the kids BULLSHIT. You're talking as if the woman takes the Children somewhere and then "RAISES" then in secrecy as a duty trusted to her. The ideal family home is such that even if the two parents come back from work around 5pm. All things being equal the children spend time with their parents. My papa helped me with assignments with occasional knocks to follow. We the children have been taking care of the home since we could move from ALL FOURS to walking on two legs. As far as I can remember, immediately your head shoots a little above the sink, you start doing dishes, my sisters were already spinning amala from around 7 years of age with the assistance of househelp. I

I don't get the picture of the WIFE people are trying to paint
- A woman that works in isolation with babies 24/7 who would never grow up?

C'mon cut me some slacks

Many men, not only african men, want to come home, sit down, get their food on their table, not clean, not cook, not help with cleaning/feeding the kids, putting the kids to bed, cleaning the floor, the bathroom, the clothes, the kitchen, the fridge, the hall, the bedroom, fix the clothes, etc, etc, etc. Many men expect their wife to do it all, because the man is paying all the bills..
So, when both are working, eerything around the house, needs to be equal. IMO.

And I was also raised like that, to help around the house. Still, my so-called father-figure would sit on his a*s, and not help me and my mother with anything, even though she was working just as much as him, and paying half the bills. And that is NOT right.

Added:

If the kids go to school 7hours every day, the father works 8hours, and the mother is home the whole day..of course, she should take about 80% of it all. The one who is at home most, takes most of the home-duties as well. Goes without saying.

Its about equality. Even if the kids do 70%, the working mother should not alone take the rest 30%. You still dont see my point here?

ifeness: As a married man,i cool the meal every weekend to give my wife time to relax

Is she working just as much as you during the week?

And you only help out two days, with only the cooking..? What do you expect here, applause?

Nimshi: All degrees are good :-)

But all education and no work experience makes for frustration.

If a woman has a degree - or some talent in something, anything - she ought to work at it. It's tough, but it's not impossible to combine this with taking charge of the home and the children. Without the relevant experience, anyone's earnign power is diminished, and any woman unsure of her future and that of her children at any time ought to work.

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If the woman and the husband works, they should BOTH combine it with taking care of the home and kids.

If my husband expected me to do all the cooking, cleaning and raising of the kids after working 8hours, then he could sit his a*s down after 8hours and just watch me work until bedtime, AND expect me to give him a little some-some..I would kick him out, no doubt.

The worst thing women can do is try to be clever by talking too much.

Yeah, same goes for men. What does your picture there proove? Taken from a paranoiasite as well.
People like you, claiming so many people who died is a lie, makes me sad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-t5vByIxx4&feature=related

Logicboy03: It took me some tome to get through your gangsta talk but it's worth it.

Nice one bro!


We need to educate these bros that dunno African history!

You call his input education?

Lol.

Thats just anger and agression.