₦airaland Forum

Timtim007:
Done and dusted sir

You still run the biz?

BABANGBALI:
Rubbish! Ugliest couple ever liveth. The babe is even breastless, na foam she take package the thing to shoot out mtcheeeèeeeèew

They have been living in peace since marriage . Can we say the same for you .....

Bluehill1051:
I was once in Akwaibom. God! I love that state. Maybe it was cuz of the company of ppl I had around me. Went to Uyo, Ikot ekpene, Abak, Oruk anam (ikot ibritam, ika, barracks, ekparakwa), oron, n was almost going to uruan cuz of my gul. But she was afraid to even go there. Her dad is her uncle. Family banished him for impregnating his sister of which she was the result. But she's pretty tho n also a nympho.

What's nympho?

Timtim007:
Maybe you were considering it...thanks..I got the money from nairaland..and i have ordered for my bags of crayfish.. There's a payment plan..and I intend to pay back every kobo..

Were you able to and have you *pay back every kobo*

lifezone247:
The most dirties business with mega cash is buying and selling stuffs from scavengers. Omo money dey that biz pieces, no be only oboki, my brothers from the east are now 80% into it.

Still so?

ubunja:
currently down with the flu. I'm thinking some time next week.

Sorry brother... How's your health now

ubunja:
To whom it may concern:
Remaining Miseducations to be uploaded-

1.The Player
2. Mother-Nature's Tender Love For The Player
3. The Power Of Narcissism
4. Lessons From A Bitch
5. Think Like A Hoe, Act Like A Man
6. Cheaters And Losers
7. The Strings Women Pull To Control You Like A Puppet
8. The Secret Language Of Girls
9. Decoder - What Girls Says VS What They Really Mean
10. What makes you a good fucker makes you a bad father (and vice versa)
11. Get Your Bad Boy On
12. The Coward's Guide To Getting A GF

Pls drop me links and mentions as u post on all these. Thanks Ubunja d misseducationist

11doubledee:
Sanusi wants to block another bribery scheme by gandollar.sanusi seems to be too sound for gandollar to comprehend.Ganduje should have been the traditional ruler while Sanusi should have been governor.Sanusi should please resign and contest for 2023 presidency.Depending on the opposition candidate,he should have my vote.

Even but it's just State Governorship that Sanusi virs off after now. He'd still make a whole lot of difference compared to the that gandimwit

The following is my thought pattern when I was distracted going door-to-door ministering in 1996…

I’m pressing a door-bell, and a woman inside holding a baby opens the blinds and asks me through the glass what I want. I’m 14 years old, and sharply-dressed. With a practised confidence, I smile and tell her with an unbroken voice that “I’m just here to talk to her about some issues that might be of interest to her lately”, and gesture knowingly to the much older ‘Sister’ from my ‘Cong’ that I’ve been paired with that day — somewhat of a third grandma to me. The lady surprisingly — or perhaps not to my naïve mind — smiles and comes around to open the door.

She mentions she has something in the oven but it has a good 15 minutes. I know this means I can talk to her. Using skills that would later become useful in sales, I adjusted what I was going to talk to her about that day, catering for the fact that she was a mother with a child. I switched from the Watchtower magazine to the Awake! magazine, which conveniently had a woman on the front cover.

I’ll just stop here… You know the usual introductory door chat from Jehovah’s Witnesses, right? Part 1 boils down to:

Hey, stranger! How about this concerning issue today? Pretty bad, right?
Did you know that all of us have an even bigger problem? That you didn’t realise? Before I rang your doorbell just now?
You know that existential angst that every conscious human feels?
It’s real. The world is going to end. Don’t you feel concerned now? Yeah…
And only We / Jehovah / The Watchtower Society can help you.

It’s actually Sales 101 ( …I would later discover ). Or a good way to become President (…we would all sadly later discover ).

But then comes Part 2 when you get this single mother with her baby to agree to a regular bible study (in which the older grand-ma takes over and I attend like a good side-kick):

Right. Here’s all the stuff you need to believe.
Now, here’s all the ways you have to change your lifestyle.
Also, here’s all the dreams of higher education or career you have to abandon.
But don’t worry, one day you’ll live forever on a paradise earth with the lambs and lions together eating cereal.
Forever forever forever. Forever. Froeever . Infifinity.
That means that on your 27-trillionth Birthday — which you won’t celebrate — you’ll still be alive on (by now), presumably, an extremely over-crowded Planet Earth. But all the poop will magically disappear, and everyone will still own large farms and houses and have plenty, and all the animals will still be friends, just like the Watchtower and Awake! says.
But still, everyone you know now who didn’t make it into Paradise will be a long-distant memory. Which will be perfect, because you are perfect, so you will remember every event of your life before Paradise in precise detail as if it was happening right now. Because this is a perfect life.
Also you can never ever die. And you’ll never change physically. You won’t be disabled, and that will no longer be your identity if it is now. Speaking of identity, not only are you heterosexual, but you are also the gender you were assigned at birth. (See point 2).
You are not an animal, you are actually meant to live forever. Longer than stars live. Longer than the age of the entire universe. Longer than god.
Because that is what is natural for human beings.
Don’t. You. Know?

So what am I ‘distracted by’ back in that moment in 1996 when I’m about to ring that door-bell for the 42nd time today?

Here goes… and keep in mind this is the stream-of-consciousness of a teenager raised in the Jehovah’s Witnesses his whole life that is now deciding whether to get baptised— a huge decision, with life-altering consequences — just as he’s starting secondary education:

Just the fact that, what we’re telling people, like, doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me anymore! — Me, 1996

Let’s stick with easy simple stuff, that we’re supposed to take the bible as literal history…

(And remember, before I got yanked out of school for home-schooling I freaking loved Science and Social Studies classes).

If the Noah’s Ark flood happened 4000 years ago, maybe 6000 at the earliest, but human history has been going for 10,000 years, how come it’s not historical fact that all the world was killed in a flood? How come they don’t teach it at school?
Maybe I’m thinking too far into it, but, it just seems like if all the animals came out of the ark on Mt Ararat in Turkey, how come all the Marsupials like Kangaroos went back to Australia and only Australia? And how did the Koalas survive on the Ark considering they only eat Eucalyptus leaves. Where did Noah get them from? And how did the Koalas swim back to Australia?

My friend in the congregation keeps tropical fish, and the lengths he has to go to to keep them alive is ridiculous: water quality, temperature, pH balance. How did tropical fish survive in the brackish salt flood-water filled with mud and decaying biological matter?

Maybe I’ve been doing too much “independent thinking” lately, and we’re told not to do that.

How come no major ancient civilisation - not the Babylonians, or the Egyptians, or the Assyrians, who were adjacent to Canaan - ever record in their history of people living past the age of 40–50? Or later on the Romans, perhaps lived until 80, if they were rich or Caesar.

The bible, and other holy books from around the world, regularly talk about people living for long times during the last 10,000 years. But nothing from historical records. Everyone died mostly young, according to history.

How can I knock on doors and tell people to believe what I believe, when the smartest minds on earth all say that Evolution is real and happens all the time and there’s lots of evidence for it?

Doesn’t that say more about what I was raised to believe, by people who were lovely and well-meaning and just wanted the best for me ?

Look, I’ll stop here and say: I’m not saying Jehovah isn’t real.

“The foolish one says in his heart: there is no Jehovah” - Psalm 14:1

But Evolution by Natural Selection makes sense, because of where we find animals, and where we find light and dark humans (hot and cold places).

Why do we need the Tower of Babel story, which doesn’t make sense, when we know now why people have light and dark skin, and why they speak different languages - we know how English developed from Latin, that doesn’t need explaining!

And Noah’s Ark Flood doesn’t make sense, because how could all the people of Earth be wiped out and reborn from a central location without it being recorded in any history of any civilisation in the world? Why did Chinese people all go to China?

When you combine Adam and Eve, with Tower of Babel, with Noah’s Ark, you get an impossible series of events according to history and science.

This is a crime with no evidence! If Jehovah was on trial, He would be acquitted.

There was no wipe-out of humanity by a global flood.

Meanwhile: The lady at the door says she was taught all resurrected people go to a spiritual state of ‘Heaven’. She asks how all those people would fit on the Earth, if we’re supposed to live on Earth forever. Considering that 8 billion people live here now and 100 billion people have died.

This woman with a baby in her arms has just asked a question for which I have no prepared biblical answer.

I answer something about “faith in the bible”. She doesn’t look convinced. Then I say something about “Jehovah stopping the procreative ability of humans”. She looks less convinced. Then I say something my Elder father suggested, that Jehovah has “other Earths to which He will transport faithful humans”.

The lady with the baby says she needs to check the oven, but that she’s ”not interested”.

As we walk back down the lady’s driveway, I’m very distracted…

Because I’m starting to think this Jehovah’s Witness stuff that I was raised with doesn’t have any monopoly on “Truth”.

I’m starting to think “truth” is different for everyone.

I’m starting to think Reality is the only thing that matters.

I’m starting to think that all religion, including the ‘millenarian’ Christian sect now known as Jehovah’s Witnesses that began in 1880 by a bloke calling himself “Judge” (who ironically called religion a “snare and a racket”) is actually all part of the ‘wide and spacious path leading to destruction’, and that science and scientific endeavours are the ‘narrow road’ leading to a salvation of the mind.

And you know what’s worse? Religions these days all seem to be wrapped up in sex scandals. Even Jehovah’s Witnesses.

I don’t want to be involved with that.

The brother with the tropical fish tank recently remarked to mum that I looked “disinterested” at the Tuesday night Book Study.

Yes. I think I’m “not interested”.

I think I’m closing the door on this part of my life.

And I don’t blame the lady with the baby for closing the door on me.

Opinion Time:

As a natural autodidact, I’ve seriously researched this constellation of subjects — history, scripture, biology, physics, metaphysics, psychology, mythology — for literally 10 years.

20 years, really — and half of those I have been atheist.

I got what I would have gotten from University, despite not being allowed to go to University. And my conclusions have all been the same as if I had.

Because if Almighty Jehovah God was smart, wouldn’t He have used a dynamic system of adaptable creatures? AKA Evolution? Not a static system of fixed kinds. AKA Special Creation.

I was taught to seek ‘accurate knowledge’. Well guess what? You can’t give a kid computers and books, and teach him how to talk to strangers, and debate subjects, and love learning, and raise him to be well-read, and then expect him to stop at your specific religious material.

I have read everything. And science is by far the most reliable method

we have demonstrated to give us the most results for understanding the world we actually reside in.

By comparison, the Watchtower publications now read like pre-chewed food, not real “accurate knowledge”.

The Watchtower material even quotes the same one guy as every other creationist organisation — the non-Jehovah’s Witness inventor of the phrase “Intelligent Design”, Michael Behe

— when trying to argue against evolution, (although they are careful never to use the words ‘creationist’ or ‘Intelligent Design’).

Like propaganda, Watchtower material reads like every other Christian material to me now. They read like someone else’s personal “truth”, not reflecting scientific reality.

Instead, I now believe in updating one’s accepted beliefs and understanding of the world based on new and validated information.

I believe that satisfying scientific answers are better than faith in vaguely-defined religious beliefs.

I mean, I’m all for people being nice to one another, I follow the Golden Rule because it actually predates the bible. But do I really have to believe a lot of anti-Scientific mythology, in order to be a good person?

Speaking of being nice and good, though…

You know who’s a good person? My biological mother.

I was actually adopted by Jehovah’s Witnesses, and I didn’t grow up with my natural mother, so she’s not one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. But she never needed any Jehovah God to tell her not to kill and rape. And I follow her good example: Be nice to people just because. Follow the golden rule and things will go better for you. Do the right thing. Doing good feels good.

You know what doesn’t feel good? Being hit with a leather belt. When I told my biological mother that my Jehovah’s Witness Elder father disciplined me that way, including putting soap in my mouth as a 3-year-old, for some supposed naughty word, she was horrified and broke down crying. My biological father was very angry after I told him and now refuses to visit with my Jehovah’s Witnesses parents anymore.

Someone’s actions, even if they are caused by their spiritual beliefs, should never make a mother cry for her child, or a father violently angry.

If hitting a child in the street that you’ve never met is a jail-able offence then you should absolutely never strike your own child. I can happily declare that is immoral by dint of the Golden Rule. Trauma is real, and children carry it into adulthood. Our family is torn apart from shared trauma that my adopted father continues not to fully understand his part in.

(If you’re reading this, dad, the code word is GOLF).

All I know for sure is: I have to die. It’s guaranteed. Every other human and cabbage and squirrel and tree has died.

“Millions now living will never die”


— 1925 Watchtower Society of Jehovah’s Witnesses

All those people are dead.

I don’t want to spend my short life knocking on doors or standing on the streets.

So that’s why I stopped doing it.

And by not becoming dis-fellow-shipped I was able to have a relationship with my family and some of the Jehovah’s Witnesses I knew.

And I’ve spent my life learning.

I want to appreciate this life I have been given, by actually living.

I think that Paradise is right here on earth, in my lifetime, if I wish to make it so:

I could never visualise the “Paradise” as described by Watchtower, Bible and Tract Society and depicted in their material.

But regardless: “Eternal life” sounds like a nightmare from which you cannot escape … I’m actually looking forward to getting old!

After all, it’s a part of life.

Cc Seun
Ymodulus

https://www.quora.com/

The following is my thought pattern when I was distracted going door-to-door ministering in 1996…

I’m pressing a door-bell, and a woman inside holding a baby opens the blinds and asks me through the glass what I want. I’m 14 years old, and sharply-dressed. With a practised confidence, I smile and tell her with an unbroken voice that “I’m just here to talk to her about some issues that might be of interest to her lately”, and gesture knowingly to the much older ‘Sister’ from my ‘Cong’ that I’ve been paired with that day — somewhat of a third grandma to me. The lady surprisingly — or perhaps not to my naïve mind — smiles and comes around to open the door.

She mentions she has something in the oven but it has a good 15 minutes. I know this means I can talk to her. Using skills that would later become useful in sales, I adjusted what I was going to talk to her about that day, catering for the fact that she was a mother with a child. I switched from the Watchtower magazine to the Awake! magazine, which conveniently had a woman on the front cover.

I’ll just stop here… You know the usual introductory door chat from Jehovah’s Witnesses, right? Part 1 boils down to:

Hey, stranger! How about this concerning issue today? Pretty bad, right?
Did you know that all of us have an even bigger problem? That you didn’t realise? Before I rang your doorbell just now?
You know that existential angst that every conscious human feels?
It’s real. The world is going to end. Don’t you feel concerned now? Yeah…
And only We / Jehovah / The Watchtower Society can help you.

It’s actually Sales 101 ( …I would later discover ). Or a good way to become President (…we would all sadly later discover ).

But then comes Part 2 when you get this single mother with her baby to agree to a regular bible study (in which the older grand-ma takes over and I attend like a good side-kick):

Right. Here’s all the stuff you need to believe.
Now, here’s all the ways you have to change your lifestyle.
Also, here’s all the dreams of higher education or career you have to abandon.
But don’t worry, one day you’ll live forever on a paradise earth with the lambs and lions together eating cereal.
Forever forever forever. Forever. Froeever . Infifinity.
That means that on your 27-trillionth Birthday — which you won’t celebrate — you’ll still be alive on (by now), presumably, an extremely over-crowded Planet Earth. But all the poop will magically disappear, and everyone will still own large farms and houses and have plenty, and all the animals will still be friends, just like the Watchtower and Awake! says.
But still, everyone you know now who didn’t make it into Paradise will be a long-distant memory. Which will be perfect, because you are perfect, so you will remember every event of your life before Paradise in precise detail as if it was happening right now. Because this is a perfect life.
Also you can never ever die. And you’ll never change physically. You won’t be disabled, and that will no longer be your identity if it is now. Speaking of identity, not only are you heterosexual, but you are also the gender you were assigned at birth. (See point 2).
You are not an animal, you are actually meant to live forever. Longer than stars live. Longer than the age of the entire universe. Longer than god.
Because that is what is natural for human beings.
Don’t. You. Know?

So what am I ‘distracted by’ back in that moment in 1996 when I’m about to ring that door-bell for the 42nd time today?

Here goes… and keep in mind this is the stream-of-consciousness of a teenager raised in the Jehovah’s Witnesses his whole life that is now deciding whether to get baptised— a huge decision, with life-altering consequences — just as he’s starting secondary education:

Just the fact that, what we’re telling people, like, doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me anymore! — Me, 1996

Let’s stick with easy simple stuff, that we’re supposed to take the bible as literal history…

(And remember, before I got yanked out of school for home-schooling I freaking loved Science and Social Studies classes).

If the Noah’s Ark flood happened 4000 years ago, maybe 6000 at the earliest, but human history has been going for 10,000 years, how come it’s not historical fact that all the world was killed in a flood? How come they don’t teach it at school?
Maybe I’m thinking too far into it, but, it just seems like if all the animals came out of the ark on Mt Ararat in Turkey, how come all the Marsupials like Kangaroos went back to Australia and only Australia? And how did the Koalas survive on the Ark considering they only eat Eucalyptus leaves. Where did Noah get them from? And how did the Koalas swim back to Australia?

My friend in the congregation keeps tropical fish, and the lengths he has to go to to keep them alive is ridiculous: water quality, temperature, pH balance. How did tropical fish survive in the brackish salt flood-water filled with mud and decaying biological matter?

Maybe I’ve been doing too much “independent thinking” lately, and we’re told not to do that.

How come no major ancient civilisation - not the Babylonians, or the Egyptians, or the Assyrians, who were adjacent to Canaan - ever record in their history of people living past the age of 40–50? Or later on the Romans, perhaps lived until 80, if they were rich or Caesar.

The bible, and other holy books from around the world, regularly talk about people living for long times during the last 10,000 years. But nothing from historical records. Everyone died mostly young, according to history.

How can I knock on doors and tell people to believe what I believe, when the smartest minds on earth all say that Evolution is real and happens all the time and there’s lots of evidence for it?

Doesn’t that say more about what I was raised to believe, by people who were lovely and well-meaning and just wanted the best for me ?

Look, I’ll stop here and say: I’m not saying Jehovah isn’t real.

“The foolish one says in his heart: there is no Jehovah” - Psalm 14:1

But Evolution by Natural Selection makes sense, because of where we find animals, and where we find light and dark humans (hot and cold places).

Why do we need the Tower of Babel story, which doesn’t make sense, when we know now why people have light and dark skin, and why they speak different languages - we know how English developed from Latin, that doesn’t need explaining!

And Noah’s Ark Flood doesn’t make sense, because how could all the people of Earth be wiped out and reborn from a central location without it being recorded in any history of any civilisation in the world? Why did Chinese people all go to China?

When you combine Adam and Eve, with Tower of Babel, with Noah’s Ark, you get an impossible series of events according to history and science.

This is a crime with no evidence! If Jehovah was on trial, He would be acquitted.

There was no wipe-out of humanity by a global flood.

Meanwhile: The lady at the door says she was taught all resurrected people go to a spiritual state of ‘Heaven’. She asks how all those people would fit on the Earth, if we’re supposed to live on Earth forever. Considering that 8 billion people live here now and 100 billion people have died.

This woman with a baby in her arms has just asked a question for which I have no prepared biblical answer.

I answer something about “faith in the bible”. She doesn’t look convinced. Then I say something about “Jehovah stopping the procreative ability of humans”. She looks less convinced. Then I say something my Elder father suggested, that Jehovah has “other Earths to which He will transport faithful humans”.

The lady with the baby says she needs to check the oven, but that she’s ”not interested”.

As we walk back down the lady’s driveway, I’m very distracted…

Because I’m starting to think this Jehovah’s Witness stuff that I was raised with doesn’t have any monopoly on “Truth”.

I’m starting to think “truth” is different for everyone.

I’m starting to think Reality is the only thing that matters.

I’m starting to think that all religion, including the ‘millenarian’ Christian sect now known as Jehovah’s Witnesses that began in 1880 by a bloke calling himself “Judge” (who ironically called religion a “snare and a racket”) is actually all part of the ‘wide and spacious path leading to destruction’, and that science and scientific endeavours are the ‘narrow road’ leading to a salvation of the mind.

And you know what’s worse? Religions these days all seem to be wrapped up in sex scandals. Even Jehovah’s Witnesses.

I don’t want to be involved with that.

The brother with the tropical fish tank recently remarked to mum that I looked “disinterested” at the Tuesday night Book Study.

Yes. I think I’m “not interested”.

I think I’m closing the door on this part of my life.

And I don’t blame the lady with the baby for closing the door on me.

skales67:
That was what you jokers said about the Anambra guber elections. What later happened?

See ehn brother.. we gats talk o... Abeg drop me a "hi" on kafeii123@gmail.com so I can mail u directly. Thanks