nice poem, very romantic i must say

thanks to all. please keep the comments coming cos somehow they help!

@SMC , i took ur advice and corrected the errors u pointed out. thanks.
@ orikinla , thanks for the info! im honored to have ur attention!

@ SMC thanks a million. will work on that. pls take time to read thru the third part and make some corrections ok?
so here goes nuthing.

The Real Thing

As she lay on her bed one night, the night Kofi was supposed to come around, she wondered why Salome's mother endured a marriage like that. The sound of her wailing tore at Oshare's heart.

How can he just enjoy beating her like that? He must have gone mad

One good thing about their fights was that it afforded Oshare the opportunity to sneak out of the house to see Kofi. He promised to come around that night but she couldn’t wait any longer. So she silently prayed Salome’s mother would run to their house as she usually did when Mensah her husband chased her around with a stick.

Why isn’t he here yet?

She’d waited so long to hear the familiar whistle that usually signifies Kofi’s presence behind her grandmother’s fence.

Maybe he’s sick.

Her heart ached for her love. It’s been over seven hours since they last saw and it felt like seven years.

“Nana, Nana! Please open the door; he’s planning to kill me eh! Open the door!”
Oshare quickly got her rubber slippers ready so she could slip out of the house unnoticed. She hurriedly made the cross sign as a prayer that Mathias would be asleep this night.

Her grandmother was already comforting the battered woman in the sitting room. Oshare tip-toed from her room and exited through the passage door in order to avoid making any sound. Her prayers were answered as Mathias was fast asleep on the bench and the gate was slightly ajar.

As she came out into the night, she sighed and stared at the sky. The stars were shining so brightly that night that her heart raced to be with Kofi. It was a lovely night to behold. The night was too beautiful to be spent alone. As she walked on by the bush path that connected her grandmother’s house to the major street in Samsara, she heard some strange sound. She made to walk faster in order to leave the shaggy spot; suddenly she heard sturdy steps behind her. Someone was following her. Her heart raced yet she walked ever so fast that she almost leaped into a run.


Maybe he’s just a hunter
Yet the steps drew closer that no matter how fast her legs went, the footsteps sounded right behind her ears.

im working on the third part of the story. id appreciate critics who will give me clues on how best i can improve

thanks again!

im not going to stop blushing

i avnt joined ANA cos ive got no clue how. pls send me contact details ok?

thanks

omg!

@orikinla, thanks a lot. i never tot my story was as nice as u said. but i'll take ur advice cos ive been sitting around for too long

thanks

When she woke up the next morning, her heart and mouth sang tunes she thought she'd forgotten.She felt like standing on top of the highest mountain in Samsara to scream:

" I love Kofi Appiah!"

she smiled at the image it conjured. her grandmother would go into a fit. Hadn't she being warned by the whole village that men were dangerous? she sighed at the memories of her escapedes with Dapo Giwa. his promises to take her to Nigeria for a wedding that never took place.

" Men are wicked Oshare, when will you ever learn? eh? your mother was abandoned by that good for nothing Nigerian. eh! he didnt even look back. i had to take care of her because she was already pregnant with you"

the voice of Mama rang in her ears loudly. she sighed again.

"at least Kofi is  not a Nigerian so Mama cannot object"

Dapo Giwa was her first love. everyone thought it was a match doomed from the start. everyone except Oshare. what would they say now if they saw her with Kofi. Nana, her best friend said people had started running their mouths about her relationship.

"they said you're a prostitute!"
"eh! me? i am dead! who did i sleep with in this Samsara eh?"
" calm down Oshare. let them run their leaking mouths"

that was two months ago and they havent stopped talking. one evening, as she was returning from Kasanta market heard some women whispering behind her,

"Fool, she thinks all men are fools. soon Kofi will find out her dirty secrets and will not marry her."
"Afterall, she has always been boasting about going out of the country to Nigeria. let's see where her pride will get her" the second voice said.

Oshare didnt let things like that bother her. her mother was full of grace and she carried herself with pride. this she taught her daughter. Oshare held her head high and walked on ahead of them till she didnt hear their voices anymore.

her mother was always gossiped about too. the villagers hated her for getting pregenat for a Nigerian. The young men wooed her but Sisi didnt listen to them, her heart belonged to Daniel Dede, a tall and fair skinned Nigerian who stole the heart of every damsel in Samsara then. When he declared his love for Sisi, the whole village went beserk. how could she marry a foreigner?

Sisi refused saying that their love would sustain them. she was wrong for Daniel left her pregnant with Oshare and he never came back to Ghana.

the first kiss

For Oshare, the moment would be when she first kissed him. she had felt so full with emotions that night. she suddenly felt like the waves of an ocean were about to drown her soul. her heart was like a bottle that was so full it could take no more, She wanted to topple over and reveal her secret desires to him. she was also very angry. he just acted so normal

Sometimes she wondered if he truly had fellings for her or what exactly did she see in his eyes that night?

When they got to the river that divides their journey, he stood under their favourite spot, the large baobab tree.

"so, goodnight. i'll see you tomorrow"
"good night," she heard thunderings from the cage in her chest. she knew she couldnt let another night pass without letting him know.
"what are you doing tomorrow? can i come to, "
that was when she did it. slowly without a warning, she drew his head closer to hers with her right hand and she put her lips to his. it was the briefest she had ever had. he pulled away so gently that she wanted to smack herself in the face for doing it anyway. maybe he's one of those wierd ones who prefer boys or maybe he wasnt just attracted to her.

But Oshare won't forget that night. she wont forget the brisk way they turned their separate ways that night, the way her heart fluttered with a million melodies, the way the stars shone ever so brightly, the way she greeted Mathias cheerily at the gate even when she knew it was way past her curfew time. the way her bed seemed warmer and her sleep so heavenly. she just cant forget the night she first kissed Kofi Appiah.

guess what happend today
i know you already know
what im about to say
but here it goes anyway

here's what you mean to me:
whiter than snow
purer than any spring i know
you make me feel so good
you're a terrifying fire
yet my Lord and Lover
your throne than heaven is higher
yet you desire to be my friend
what exactly have i done
to deserve this love you spend?
nothing so far
yet you make me shine like a star

thank you davidylan

im glad someone with great repute likes my poem

thanks

she-

white unstained gown
turned around every frowm
loving with an angel's heart
seeking only to please her Master

he-

fire brand and holy
doing His will only
steadfast in all his ways
his heart was filled with His praise

she-

scarlet dot
turned her soul to dust
just one tiny sin
now she cries out for Him

he-

seperated from His Creator
over self he was once a victor
just one tiny sin
now he cries out for Him

Dead flies spoil the perfumer's ointment
Ecclesiates 10:1