₦airaland Forum

A movie producer was using
someone's house to shoot a
movie.
They needed someone to act
the
role of a GateMan.
The HouseBoy of the house
Akpos was offered some
money
to act the role.
The director gave Akpos a
brand
new cutlass and told him to
act the part where he'll chase the
star actor who was acting the
role
of a thief.
The Director said; If you hear
me
say "action" you should run
after
him, just do as I say. Did you
hear me?.
Akpos nodded in affirmation.
The Director shouted;
"Action".
The star actor took off.
Akpos started chasing him
round
the compound.
When they got to the fence,
the
director shouted; "Cut, cut,
cut".
what do you think happened
next? and who is to blame?

.BE
SINCERE.You were walking
along the road 1day,nd some1
comes up behing
you nd snatches ur blackberry
z10 phone nd makes
a dash.You tried running after
him but couldn't
meet up with him nd then you
gave up.You walk
down the street for a couple of
minutes nd you saw
a crowd surrounding
something,you walked up to
them nd saw people beating the
man who
snatched ur bb,Oh!you wanted to
grab the man &
collect ur phone,then you hear
people asking"Who
get the phone"The thief
replied"na my partner get
am,he go soon come nd collect
am"then right in
front of u they beat him to
death.Now the question
is,wll you claim your phone or
simply walk away?

The world will add one wonder
to itself making eight,....
We just discover an arabic
verse written all-over the
branch of the huge tree at
akesan prayer ground(EID)....
on the 14th of october 2014...
Come to check on it
anyday,anytime: it's
uncleanable nd in unique silver
colour that can't be watched
away with any liquid material....
Let's keep this a story to tel to
our upcoming generation..... .
The wonder is titled ; THE
ARABIC TEXT WRITTEN ON AN
HUGE TREE OF AKESAN PRAYING
GROUND.
Let's kip it a memory

Cos ur phone can't copy and paste abi..@Harkinyhemmy

It seems u pple dnt undastand,

Wen i started with president,some1 else wil gve a word starting wit T,.

E.G

Table,
Elephant,
Taurus,
Scorpion,
Notorious,
S.........

Then it kips goin lyk dat,.

Nw let's gve a try.

** Spelling game.How good are
you in forming a word with
any alphabet from A-z.Now
let's play this game.I will drop a
word and you will use the last
alphabet of my word to start
another word. The next person
will use the next alphabet of
your word to drop another
word. And so on.Example:Me:
nationNext person: neatNext
person: tea.Next person:
area.Etc.Now I will start with
this word........"Pr esident"Next
person Comment fast

ARE YOU GOOD IN ENGLISH.
A1, OKAY. Which of the
following
Sentences is Correct.
1. I work for First Bank
2. I work at First Bank
3. I work in First Bank
4. I work with First Bank
Give me your answers.??[i]ARE YOU GOOD IN ENGLISH.
A1, OKAY. Which of the
following
Sentences is Correct.
1. I work for First Bank
2. I work at First Bank
3. I work in First Bank
4. I work with First Bank
Give me your answers.??[/i]ARE YOU GOOD IN ENGLISH.
A1, OKAY. Which of the
following
Sentences is Correct.
1. I work for First Bank
2. I work at First Bank
3. I work in First Bank
4. I work with First Bank
Give me your answers.??

Who knows the website whereby new foreign musics are updated and downloaded?

PLS INDICATE THE SITE,.

Wich river if i may ask.

Prevention we say is beta than cure,that's y National Agency for Food
and Drug Administration and
Control has brought up a solution that can help cure Ebola virus(Anti-Ebola salt).
Get yours at the nearest pharmacy now,.

E= everlasting
B= blessing
O= of the
L= lord
A= Almighty
May EBOLA Locate you and
your family this year... Can i
hear you say AMEN..

Who name the virus 'EBOLA' after it's name?[left]

The shot was taken in Union Bank’s Yaba branch in Lagos and that is the Chief Executive/Group Managing Director, Mr. Emeka Emuwa serving customers On Thursday 7th August.

It’s good to see that Nigerians are been health conscious but please lets not overdo it, no spreading of salty rumors

Should the Federal Government negotiate with the Boko-Haram??
Add your comment and let the Nigerians speak.

USA will never forget Abraham
Lincoln
RUSSIA will never forget
Vladimir Putin
SOUTH AFRICA will never forget
Nelson Mandela
GHANA will never forget John
Kufuor
ARGENTINA will never forget
Cristina Kirchner
NIGERIA will never forget......... .?

Goggling @KaKiP.

There's a place in your heart
And I know that it is love
And this place could be much
Brighter than tomorrow.
And if you really try
You'll find there's no need to cry
In this place you'll feel
There's no hurt or sorrow.
There are ways to get there
If you care enough for the living
Make a little space, make a better
place.
Chorus:
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the
entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for
You and for me.
If you want to know why
There's a love that cannot lie
Love is strong
It only cares for joyful giving.
If we try we shall see
In this bliss we cannot feel
Fear or dread
We stop existing and start living
Then it feels that always
Love's enough for us growing
Make a better world, make a
better world.
Chorus:
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the
entire human race.
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for
You and for me.
Bridge:
And the dream we would
conceived in
Will reveal a joyful face
And the world we once believed
in
Will shine again in grace
Then why do we keep strangling
life
Wound this earth, crucify it's soul
Though it's plain to see, this
world is heavenly
Be God's glow.
We could fly so high
Let our spirits never die
In my heart I feel
You are all my brothers
Create a world with no fear
Together we'll cry happy tears
See the nations turn
Their swords into plowshares
We could really get there
If you cared enough for the living
Make a little space to make a
better place.
Chorus:
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the
entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for
You and for me.
Refrain (2x)
There are people dying if you
care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and
for me.
There are people dying if you
care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and
for me.
You and for me / Make a better
place
You and for me / Make a better
place
You and for me / Make a better
place
You and for me / Heal the world
we live in
You and for me / Save it for our
children
You and for me / Heal the world
we live in
You and for me / Save it for our
children
You and for me / Heal the world
we live in
You and for me / Save it for our
children
You and for me / Heal the world
we live in
You and for me / Save it for our
children





Who sang the song whose lyrics has been written above,nd wat's the Title.


FIRST WINNERS WIL BE AWARDED WITH #1000 RECHARGE CARD IN His/Her INBOX AND OTHER WINNER WITH #500 CARD IN THEIR'S TOO....!...



time Starts Now..

Ladies, If you had to which of
these wedding dresses would
you choose, A, B or C?

@Lacomus............cos u lose d oportunity to copy on ur wall,dat y u infrige drail on ur personality............did i force u to coment,y nt find one to paste too......B-)B-)B-) .

1. We Are Very Critical of
Ourselves – No matter how
confident any woman
seems, we can be extremely
critical of ourselves. No need
to mention anything about
our weight, our skin, or our
bad hair because we are
well aware of our so-called
“flaws” already. In fact, most
of us obsess about these
things far too frequently.
2. We Tell Our Friends
Practically Everything – We
might say that we don’t tell
our girlfriends nearly every
single detail about our lives
and relationships, but we
kinda do.
3. Our Weight or Dress Size –
Don’t ask how much we
weigh, or try to guess. And
please don’t try to figure out
our size and buy us clothing.
If you want to buy us any
clothes, take us to the shop.
Thank You.
4. How Much We Spend –
You really don’t want to
know how much our hair,
clothes and make-up cost,
unless you’re paying of
course, then you can know.
5. Most of us are Very
Curious – Due to unfortunate
past experiences or
insecurities, there are some
women out there who have
been known to snoop
through their significant
other’s phones and personal
mail. We’re not condoning
this behaviour, but this is
definitely something women
don’t want men to know.
What do you think girls? Is
there any thing you don’t
want that man to know?
Share with us in the
comments box.

Let!s try to Study mre.

Germany scored five goals in 18
astonishing first-half minutes on
their way to a 7-1 semifinal
mauling of Brazil on Tuesday
which shattered the host
nation's hopes of winning their
sixth World Cup.
It was the most shocking result
in the tournament's history,
Brazil's record World Cup defeat
and their first at home in 64
competitive matches since 1975.
Germany will meet Argentina or
the Netherlands in Sunday's final
in Rio de Janeiro after an
unbelievable performance in
which striker Miroslav Klose
became the tournament's
highest scorer of all time with his
16th World Cup goal.
"We started really super," Klose
said in a televised interview. "We
had such a great harmony, you
can see that in training. We're a
real unit and we showed that on
the pitch today."
The only consolation on a day of
abject misery for Brazil after a
match featuring truly abject
defending from Luiz Felipe
Scolari's men was a goal from
Oscar in the dying minutes.
"I just wanted to make my
people happy," Brazil defender
David Luiz said. "Unfortunately,
we couldn't. I'm sorry, I'm sorry
to all Brazilians, I just wanted to
see them smile, everyone know
how important it was.
"They were the best, they
prepared better, they played
better, we let in four goals in six
minutes. It is a very sad day and
we we'll learn from it."
Thomas Mueller started the rout
with an 11th-minute volley and
although Germany looked to be
the better team after an early
period of Brazil pressure, there
was little indication of the
devastation about to be
unleashed.
INJURED FORWARD
Brazil were playing without
injured forward Neymar and
suspended captain and defensive
linchpin Thiago Silva and it was
the latter's absence that proved
far more costly.
The hosts' defence simply caved
in.
They conceded four times
between the 23rd minute when
Klose made it 2-0 and the 29th
when Sami Khedira put Germany
5-0 in front. Andrea Schuerrle,
who replaced Klose in the 58th
minute added two more, the
second an angled shot that flew
in off the crossbar.
With Germany 1-0 ahead, Klose
scored from a rebound after
goalkeeper Julio Cesar saved his
initial shot for his 16th goal in
his 23rd World Cup appearance.
But worse was to follow for
Brazil a minute later when Toni
Kroos, lurking with intent but
unmarked at the edge of the
area, smashed home with the
outside of his left foot to make it
3-0.
He scored again just two minutes
to make it 4-0 and Brazil's pain
continued when Khedira made it
5-0 after a one-two with Mesut
Ozil in the 29th minute.
Any hopes Brazil had of saving
the game ended there but to
their credit they rallied at the
start of the second and forced a
series of saves from Germany
keeper Manuel Neuer before
Schuerrle struck after 69 and 79
minutes.
Oscar's late goal was greeted by
an ironic cheer from the
shocked, stunned home fans
who were in tears at the end of
the most incredible World Cup
game ever played.[i]Germany scored five goals in 18
astonishing first-half minutes on
their way to a 7-1 semifinal
mauling of Brazil on Tuesday
which shattered the host
nation's hopes of winning their
sixth World Cup.
It was the most shocking result
in the tournament's history,
Brazil's record World Cup defeat
and their first at home in 64
competitive matches since 1975.
Germany will meet Argentina or
the Netherlands in Sunday's final
in Rio de Janeiro after an
unbelievable performance in
which striker Miroslav Klose
became the tournament's
highest scorer of all time with his
16th World Cup goal.
"We started really super," Klose
said in a televised interview. "We
had such a great harmony, you
can see that in training. We're a
real unit and we showed that on
the pitch today."
The only consolation on a day of
abject misery for Brazil after a
match featuring truly abject
defending from Luiz Felipe
Scolari's men was a goal from
Oscar in the dying minutes.
"I just wanted to make my
people happy," Brazil defender
David Luiz said. "Unfortunately,
we couldn't. I'm sorry, I'm sorry
to all Brazilians, I just wanted to
see them smile, everyone know
how important it was.
"They were the best, they
prepared better, they played
better, we let in four goals in six
minutes. It is a very sad day and
we we'll learn from it."
Thomas Mueller started the rout
with an 11th-minute volley and
although Germany looked to be
the better team after an early
period of Brazil pressure, there
was little indication of the
devastation about to be
unleashed.
INJURED FORWARD
Brazil were playing without
injured forward Neymar and
suspended captain and defensive
linchpin Thiago Silva and it was
the latter's absence that proved
far more costly.
The hosts' defence simply caved
in.
They conceded four times
between the 23rd minute when
Klose made it 2-0 and the 29th
when Sami Khedira put Germany
5-0 in front. Andrea Schuerrle,
who replaced Klose in the 58th
minute added two more, the
second an angled shot that flew
in off the crossbar.
With Germany 1-0 ahead, Klose
scored from a rebound after
goalkeeper Julio Cesar saved his
initial shot for his 16th goal in
his 23rd World Cup appearance.
But worse was to follow for
Brazil a minute later when Toni
Kroos, lurking with intent but
unmarked at the edge of the
area, smashed home with the
outside of his left foot to make it
3-0.
He scored again just two minutes
to make it 4-0 and Brazil's pain
continued when Khedira made it
5-0 after a one-two with Mesut
Ozil in the 29th minute.
Any hopes Brazil had of saving
the game ended there but to
their credit they rallied at the
start of the second and forced a
series of saves from Germany
keeper Manuel Neuer before
Schuerrle struck after 69 and 79
minutes.
Oscar's late goal was greeted by
an ironic cheer from the
shocked, stunned home fans
who were in tears at the end of
the most incredible World Cup
game ever played.[/i]Germany scored five goals in 18
astonishing first-half minutes on
their way to a 7-1 semifinal
mauling of Brazil on Tuesday
which shattered the host
nation's hopes of winning their
sixth World Cup.
It was the most shocking result
in the tournament's history,
Brazil's record World Cup defeat
and their first at home in 64
competitive matches since 1975.
Germany will meet Argentina or
the Netherlands in Sunday's final
in Rio de Janeiro after an
unbelievable performance in
which striker Miroslav Klose
became the tournament's
highest scorer of all time with his
16th World Cup goal.
"We started really super," Klose
said in a televised interview. "We
had such a great harmony, you
can see that in training. We're a
real unit and we showed that on
the pitch today."
The only consolation on a day of
abject misery for Brazil after a
match featuring truly abject
defending from Luiz Felipe
Scolari's men was a goal from
Oscar in the dying minutes.
"I just wanted to make my
people happy," Brazil defender
David Luiz said. "Unfortunately,
we couldn't. I'm sorry, I'm sorry
to all Brazilians, I just wanted to
see them smile, everyone know
how important it was.
"They were the best, they
prepared better, they played
better, we let in four goals in six
minutes. It is a very sad day and
we we'll learn from it."
Thomas Mueller started the rout
with an 11th-minute volley and
although Germany looked to be
the better team after an early
period of Brazil pressure, there
was little indication of the
devastation about to be
unleashed.
INJURED FORWARD
Brazil were playing without
injured forward Neymar and
suspended captain and defensive
linchpin Thiago Silva and it was
the latter's absence that proved
far more costly.
The hosts' defence simply caved
in.
They conceded four times
between the 23rd minute when
Klose made it 2-0 and the 29th
when Sami Khedira put Germany
5-0 in front. Andrea Schuerrle,
who replaced Klose in the 58th
minute added two more, the
second an angled shot that flew
in off the crossbar.
With Germany 1-0 ahead, Klose
scored from a rebound after
goalkeeper Julio Cesar saved his
initial shot for his 16th goal in
his 23rd World Cup appearance.
But worse was to follow for
Brazil a minute later when Toni
Kroos, lurking with intent but
unmarked at the edge of the
area, smashed home with the
outside of his left foot to make it
3-0.
He scored again just two minutes
to make it 4-0 and Brazil's pain
continued when Khedira made it
5-0 after a one-two with Mesut
Ozil in the 29th minute.
Any hopes Brazil had of saving
the game ended there but to
their credit they rallied at the
start of the second and forced a
series of saves from Germany
keeper Manuel Neuer before
Schuerrle struck after 69 and 79
minutes.
Oscar's late goal was greeted by
an ironic cheer from the
shocked, stunned home fans
who were in tears at the end of
the most incredible World Cup
game ever played.

---

We were all young and foolish
once. One must be young and
foolish before one can be old and
wise. But hopefully most of us
have only fond memories and a
few war stories from that era in
our lives. Nothing too permanent
or concrete. That is not the case
for Miley Cyrus, unfortunately.
She's just gotten a tattoo,
something of a memorial to her
recently deceased dog Floyd, that
I'm afraid she'll come to regret.
Fashion Trade Show
Local.com
Not the dog part, necessarily.
Sure, her grief over the dog's
passing will lessen and lessen as
the years go by, and eventually
she will just remember him as a
nice dog she had once, so maybe
a tattoo memorial is a little
grandiose. But mostly that's fine.
If it's part of her grieving process,
then I hope it helps.
SEE MORE: 17 Real-Life Couples
and Their On-Screen Chemistry
The trouble is what the tattoo
says. See, there's a speech bubble
coming out of the dog's mouth
and the dog is saying, "With a
little help from my fwends." Yes,
"fwends." As in a jokey baby-talk
way to say the word "friends."
This is, undoubtedly, an inside
joke between Cyrus and some
friends, excuse me, fwends, and
as we all know, nothing is more
enduring than an inside joke. Just
kidding, nearly everything is more
enduring than little passing jokes
shared between friends.
Especially ones that involve saying
a word in a funny way. Miley and
her pals will have forgotten all
about this little joke by
Thanksgiving, is my guess, and
yet there the word will be, right
there on her torso.
And then, for the rest of her life,
she will have to explain it. When
she is in her 30s and trying on
her wedding dress, a woman
with pins in her mouth looking
quizzically at it, Miley smiling and
saying, "Oh, it's a joke. It's
fwends? Like friends?" Miley at
40, her son pointing at the tattoo
poking out from her bathing suit
top, Miley having to say, "It says
fwends, Braydon. Like friends?
It's a joke I used to make when I
was younger." Miley Cyrus at 55,
an empty nester all of a sudden,
getting back on the dating scene
after her divorce. Things
escalating with the nice lawyer
her friend Barbara set her up
with, making out like a teenager
for the first time in many years,
then having to sigh and explain
to her date, "Oh, it says fwends. It
was a thing we used to say, back
in 2014 I think. Who knows. We
were young and silly." Miley at 80,
in her assisted-living facility, a
nurse helping her dress for the
lawyer's funeral, her husband of
25 years. The nurse saying, "Now
what's this you've got here Miss
Miley? Fw-" "Yes, dear, it says
fwends. I got that long before
you were even born. It says
fwends." Miley at 100, no longer
living, a mortician gazing at the
tattoo, sounding out the word
before shrugging and covering it
up with spray-on makeup. And
then, Miley in eternity, Miley
skipping through the cosmos
with the rest of our souls, awash
in starlight and mystery, the
infinity asking what it all means
and Miley telling the infinity, "It
was just this weird way we said
'friends.' You know, fwends. It
was funny. A long time ago, so
very long ago."
SEE MORE: The Most Adorable
Pictures of Prince George
At least she won't be alone on
this journey. Two of her fwends
also got the exact same tattoo.
And one of them has absolutely
no excuse. Because he is Wayne
Coyne, of the Flaming Lips, and he
is 53 years old. So he has zero
business getting an inside-joke
tattoo that he will later come to
regret. He should be past the age
of mistakes like that. And yet,
there he is. And there his
girlfriend is. Standing with Miley,
the three of them fwends, bound
together forever. In a million
years when the aliens find
evidence of these photos they will
find no real way to translate this
mysterious word. Its meaning
finally gone for good, like a dog
you once knew, a long time ago,
who left one day and never came
back.

1. We Are Very Critical of
Ourselves – No matter how
confident any woman
seems, we can be extremely
critical of ourselves. No need
to mention anything about
our weight, our skin, or our
bad hair because we are
well aware of our so-called
“flaws” already. In fact, most
of us obsess about these
things far too frequently.
2. We Tell Our Friends
Practically Everything – We
might say that we don’t tell
our girlfriends nearly every
single detail about our lives
and relationships, but we
kinda do.
3. Our Weight or Dress Size –
Don’t ask how much we
weigh, or try to guess. And
please don’t try to figure out
our size and buy us clothing.
If you want to buy us any
clothes, take us to the shop.
Thank You.
4. How Much We Spend –
You really don’t want to
know how much our hair,
clothes and make-up cost,
unless you’re paying of
course, then you can know.
5. Most of us are Very
Curious – Due to unfortunate
past experiences or
insecurities, there are some
women out there who have
been known to snoop
through their significant
other’s phones and personal
mail. We’re not condoning
this behaviour, but this is
definitely something women
don’t want men to know.
What do you think girls? Is
there any thing you don’t
want that man to know?
Share with us in the
comments box.

Once there was a bus
conductor, who was very
rude to his passengers.
One day a beautiful young girl,
of around 18
years,tried to board the bus,
but he didn't stop the
bus.
Unfortunately the beautiful
young girl came under
the bus and died on the spot.
Angry passengers
took the conductor to the
police station, who in
turn took him to the court.
The judge was not at all
impressed with him and
gave him capital punishment.
He was taken to the
electrocution chamber. There
was a single chair in the center
of the room and a
single banana peel at one
corner of the room. The
conductor was strapped to the
chair and high
voltage current was given to
him. But to
everyone's amazement, he
survived. The judge
decided to set him free, and he
returned to his
profession.
After a few months, this time, a
good looking
middle aged woman tried to
board the bus but the
conductor didn't stop the bus.
Unfortunately, this
time also, the good looking
middle aged woman
came under the bus and died
on the spot.
Again angry passengers took
him to the police
station, who in turn took him
to the court. The
judge took one look at the
conductor and gave
him capital punishment. The
Bus conductor was
taken to the same
electrocution chamber where
there was a single chair in the
center of the room
and a single banana peel at
one corner of the
room. He was strapped to the
chair and high
voltage current was given to
him. This time also,
to everyone's amazement, he
survived. The judge
decided to set him free, and he
returned to his
profession.
A couple of months later, an
elderly gentleman
tried to board the bus.
This time the Bus conductor,
remembering his
earlier experiences, stopped
the bus.
Unfortunately the elderly
gentleman slipped and
died due to his
injuries. The conductor was
taken to the police
station and then to the court,
to the same judge.
Though he hadn't done
anything wrong, but
considering his past record the
judge decided to
set an example and gave him
capital punishment.
The Bus conductor was again
taken to the same
electrocution chamber where
there was a single
chair in the center of the room
and a single
banana peel at one corner of
the room. He was
strapped to the chair and high
voltage current
was given to him.
This time he died
instantly !!!!!!!!!!!
The question is why didn't he
die on the first two
occasions, but died instantly
the third time??
See answer here i swear you'll
hate me.......

Akpos just got a job as a porter
in
a five star hotel in Abuja.
The manager told him:
"...in here we give every
customer
personalized services and you
have to be very observant so
you
know how to address their
every
need even before they ask"
Before the manager could
finish, a
couple walked through the
hotel
entrance and the manager
quickly
approached them, nicely took
their baggage and said,
"Welcome Mr & Mrs James, it is
our
delight to have you in our
hotel.
Please come this way to the
reception"
... and he led them to the
reception.
After the couple had been
taken
care of, Akpos asked the
manager,
"Has the couple been visiting
this
hotel before?"
"No" came the reply from the
manager.
"So how come you knew their
name?" asked Akpos.
"That is why I told you to be
very
observant. All I had to do was
quickly look at the label on
their
baggage while I'm taking it
from
them and see the name on the
tag".
"Oh, here comes another
couple.
Why don't you give it a try?"
"Ok" said Akpos and he
hurriedly
approached the couple, helped
them with their luggage and
said,
"Welcome Mr & Mrs SUPERIOR
HAND MADE LEATHER! We are
delighted to have you in our
hotel..."
The manager fainted!
How many like for Jomrichy?..

If you slap me and
i vomits 1000 naira Note and you
slap me again and i vomits 2000
naira, you slap me again and i
vomits 3000 naira. What will you
do?
A. Run away
B. Continue slaping me
C. Pick the vomited money
D. Report to police
E. Beg me
F. Kidnap me
G. Others specify

:oWho knows our next President to be?..?