₦airaland Forum

eagleeye259:
Hello NLanders,

Compliments of the season. I am a young man in my mid-thirties. I am a professional and a graduate student. I am getting bored by people (family and friends) asking me to get married. Almost all the folks I spoke with on Christmas day said the same to my ears. In the past, friends have invited me to visit them and I discovered they were trying to match-make me. I am looking to get married at some point in the future when I find someone I can live the rest of my life with. The truth is none of these folks will suffer the direct consequence if I get married to the wrong person.

Initially, I planned a visit to my family early next year but I am thinking of postponing it till maybe end of 2020 and also reducing the frequency of communicating with folks.

To the married folks, how did you cope with this?

Zither:
girls, do not let any idiotic slowpoke belittle or degrade your value by pegging your worth above or below a particular age, especially the age of 30. That is what they will say but you will be shocked to discover many of them are willing to sell their kidney and liver to marry a white great-grandma who is older than their great great grandma of 110 years.

As regards getting married to a man with two kids, I would not advise that. However, there are chances that it may turn out okay but the variables for making that a possibility are many that ignoring one may be to your detriment. Such variables like:

would the guy spend greater love on his kids than he does on you? this leads to unfulfillment and emotional dissatisfaction

what if his one and only desire is to look for a woman to play mother to his children and keep the home while he is away? forget all that romantic talk of love he has for you and consider this critically. taking care of the kids is serious burden which he cannot handle given his work schedule

are you ready to live a life of walking on egg shells whenever it has to do with your relationship with the kids? their mother may not approve of anything you do as regards their welfare and may turn your home into a war zone? that may also include their father

there will always be "your children" "my children" syndrome. so much of your argument will rise from this distinction.

then, when the kids grow into rebellious teenagers (as kids will) it is easier dealing with them if they were your own kids as whatever you do to correct them (your step-children) may be misjudged or misinterpreted as hatred towards them while you show favouritism or leniency to your kids

....and on like that... Are you ready to subject yourself to such a life?

Marry at your God-given pace. Don't let folks pressure you into a life of misery in the name of age. If age was a limiting factor, women should self-destruct once they cross a certain young age and have not had children. That is not the case. Why? Your greatest value as a woman is not in getting married or having children. Your greatest value is in your being a woman. Sarah in the Bible had a child at her old age...at her God-ordained time. Hannah had Samuel at her God-ordained time. God brought Ruth and Boaz together. God made Esther marry a king. Live your life knowing that nothing is impossible with God.

missyojo:
Poster, don't try it. I understand how you feel as regards you wanting to settle down because age isn't on your side, I'm in my late twenties too turning 30 next month. No man is forth coming yet as I'm trusting God for the right person but that doesn't mean I should throw myself to the available one. It would have been better if it were a widower but a single father with two kids and the mother still alive is a NO NO for me.

You just keep praying and trusting God for the best and also keep yourself busy too. If you are a Christian you can join a unit in church and serve God whole heartedly and see what God would do.
Cheers!!!

ifyalways:
Unless he is widowed, no i will not encourage a single lady to marry a man with two children and vice versa.

Single with two or more children are better off with single or widowed parents. Thats just my opinion. Nothing is perfect or cast in stone.

theButterfly:
No. Why would I when I'm not desperate? OP, don't be in a haste to marry a man w| kids. I won't marry a man with a kid/kids. Divorcees with kids have too much bagage and unfinished business with their baby mamas (or baby daddies).

In fact, I will only marry a virgin man sef.

Ok, thank you

Resurgent2016:
In other words, you don't why his last relationship failed because the woman could not just have decided to terminate the relationship without a reason.

I don't think there is an issue marrying a man with two kids, but I think it is unwise marrying a man without having knowledge of why his last relationship failed even after having kids. Else, tomorrow you may be in the woman's shoe.

Resurgent2016:
Ever wondered why the relationship with his former partner hit the rock even after two kids?

saucecode:
What is it about you that keeps attracting divorcees?

tensazangetsu20:
And you have no single guy pestering you for a relationship. If you were my sister I won't let you do it. Marrying a single father with two kids is too much of a baggage for you to carry at your age.

baby124:
Let baby daddy marry baby mamas. They have the same struggle. It is a thankless job to be a step mum. You have to assess if that life is for you. If you don’t have the patience to be a step mum and tolerate a lot as a result then I advice you to seek love elsewhere.

donstan18:
You have no right to choose a man if you are plus 30, but if you are below 30, I'll advice you to make the decision yourself because you know the man better than we do.

carzola:
It's ur life
Live it as u please..

That's the advise we will give u...


Don't come here looking for story....

tensazangetsu20:
Don't you have any better prospects? It depends on your age though. If you were my sister and below 30 I wouldn't allow you do it as I would feel you are too young to carry such baggage. If my sister is above 30 and wants to do such I would let her do it.

Avast:
I can get married to a woman with 2 kids so far I found what I want in a woman in her.

Ladylite:
The questions I would ask would be

Is the previous wife dead? Cos you don't wanna be looking back for the rest of your life

Are the kids cool with you? They can sure give you hell o

Is he very good in bed? Cos you can't sentence your life to a old cargo that has given his best sex to the previous lady

Is he rich and ready to establish you in many ways? Yes oooo money counts.

If your answers are not a strong YES... Then my sister run for your life. You are about to be a maid with a ring.

Claire18:
Lemme confirm the size and send to you. Chat me up.

Claire18:
I do. Its about 2.8m x 3m. Brown in colour. Just took the pictures now. Will send a clearer one later. N15k. Ejigbo, Lagos!

zarakikenpa:
Regular rug or center rug? I have regular rug

princeking2:
Mehn, I saw people at my centre, I couldn't help but laugh.
Anyways, the questions were not that difficult.
To all of us who will meet at the next phase, congratulations.

abula112:
pls who can tell me about supermart ng, review, staff warefare, salary scale , job security, e.t.c
was invited for an interview for php Developer, any info will be highly appreciated.

ojonugba2014:
noted dear sir/ma

that name is my nickname,i got it frm sch because of my level of performance in accounting,i am an accounting guru

ojonugba2014:
gud pm guyz.i am an N.C.E holder(business edu./accounting).i resign frm my teaching job bcz a friend of mine who we graduated together asked my to resign nd come to lagos,now i am in lagos,but d payment is here is not something i can ever manage myself with.i am currently working in a block industry inside navy town ojo lagos,after working frm 6am-8/9pm in a day i hardly get paid of #1500.loading(50k) & offloading(50k) par block=#1,so d money is to low.please i really need a job of any kind in lagos(legal jobs),preferrebly with acommodating plz.my contact(07087984363) OR crazyjoh543gmgail.com.people with gud heart help a brother oo.

stubbornman:
Yeah you're right Okwuta girls ...used to follow inside the school to Okilton drive before they fenced it.... Mum also sold stuff there way back... dunno know but can I send you a DM ? ...if you think its neccesary!

stubbornman:
Tipper motor boy...very risky job.... loading cement.... worked as a bar man in a hotel... I nearly nod one girl like that wey dey command me like say nah her papa give me work.

I AM NOT THERE YET BUT I THANK GOD.


Oh i also hawked waterleaf in Rumuokwuta market port harcourt....

alot has really happened in my life..