₦airaland Forum

Do you know how to tell a good story?

Writers who can weave a good story urgently needed, its freelance basis.

Contact: jumkye@gmail.com or call 08060164876

We already got a candidate but thanks to all that applied.

All the best!

Seems GTBank is getting worse these days when it comes to Customer Service, their Idimu Branch is terrible. That is how I submitted Corporate Account Opening form two weeks ago and I didn't get any feedback. Today I went to inquire about the account only to find out that the form is missing. So I have to fill another form. Now the question is should I bother filling another form or I should just use another bank, please I need your advice.

Hi, urgently in need of a graphic designer who can create a microsoft word template and powerpoint template. Please call 08084108037 or email jumkye@gmail.com

thanks

Part Time Social Media Manager Needed in Alimosho

Requirements
Young
Social Media Savvy
Interested in learning new things
Honest, Dedicated and Hardworking
Reside in Alimosho, Lagos

If you meet these criteria, please send your CV and a Short Bio to jumkye@gmail.com

Thank you

So that is how we opened our eyes and Kaduna Mafia took over, na wah o

Nothing new here

Senator Florence Ita Giwa looks absolutely stunning in this photo, whoever designed it must be a genius.

Saw this on their Facebook Page: My Calabar

Guess she took it for Calabar Carnival 2016.

shizzleStar:
shameless yoloba girl. So because the family didn't allow you use the donation from kindhearted Nigerians to enrich yourself, you now wanted to blackmail them that it's a scam?

Pathetic. This is what greed can do. All these conehead brown roofers sef. Scamming is in their gene

Bros Calm down na, which one is the yoloba girl part na

More

More

So as America's Election draws near and Naira keeps dancing azonto against the Dollar, here are a couple of Donald Trump Memes that will keep you laughing throughout the day.

Who did this? Treasonable offence

Hi Seun, so this is the first time I am attempting to create a Nairaland Ad and its totally confusing although I have read the rules and regulations and all. So when I was looking at the estimated advert rates, I assumed that one can advertise for just one day? Does it have to be weekly, because I my client opted for one day in the Front page, does it have to be a week? We want Front Page but we can only afford the ad running for a day, these things are quite confusing. One more thing I have sent a message to Moderators but no response, itsn't there a direct line to contact or something, I read a thread that one just has to mention Seun, and you will get a response so I am here mentioning Seun and praying for a response. You really should create an automated whatever for adverts, leave a mail or something. Anyway, expecting a response soon. Thanks

You have friends that have done it, yet you are coming to Nairaland to ask strangers among whom are Sadists to help you decide? If the little voice within you is saying do it, my brother, please do! They say we only use a minute percentage of our brain, use the remaining percentage and excel, fly. Let this Sadists telling you to go for MSc instead read about you in the newspaper and shit in their pants. Go forward!

Recently a very close friend asked me to be his wife and help build his dreams, he asked me the same question 12 years ago and I said no. We are quite close, we have been friends for 15 years and that’s a lot. So when he asked the same question again 12 years later, I said no again but this time I asked him why.

He said ‘I am a man,’ he is a man and I have never doubted that. The explanation I was looking for was why would you ask me to help you build your dreams without any consideration for mine. What gave you the audacity to put yourself first?



He said ‘I am man,’ and this truth helped me to understand a few things that happens in society. For every woman who has been abused, raped, threatened with abuse, harassed, brutalised, this is why, he didn’t do it because of you, he did it because he is a man.



UNWomen estimates that 35 per cent of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or sexual violence by a non-partner at some point in their lives. Abuse is alifecycle that cannot be broken for some women.



They were abused by their fathers, brothers, uncles, husbands and that’s how it goes on and on and on. My friend helped me to understand why men who abuse and degrade women do it. They are men, that’s why.



On Tuesday, a 23-year-old man was arraigned in Ekiti for slapping and beating his girlfriend “mercilessly’’ because he heard that she was dating someone else in the neighborhood.



Why did he do it, He is a man. In 2013, when popular Novelist, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie gave her Ted Talk titled We Should All Be Feminists, she was widely criticized for being so outspoken about the concept of feminism.



Here is a simple definition, Feminism is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, personal, and social rights for women.



The concept transcends women walking naked on the streets of America. Feminism is asking for one thing, equality for women.



Some women will grunt at this but the truth is, the fact that you drive a Range Rover and you a Bank Manager doesn’t mean you are excluded from the inequality that has eaten deep into the fabric of our society.



You are not, the fact that you have a mansion in Banana Island doesn’t mean anything to men who just look at you and all they see is second class citizen. No one has a right to say that feminism is not an African thing, it is.



In this Nigerian society, you are conditioned to not be too successful so that you can find a man who would be willing to marry you because you can’t be more successful than your husband. Women are forced to stay in abusive marriages and relationships because he is a man and for that reason he is lord over you.



Out of 109 Senators sitting in the National Assembly, only 7 are female. Think about it. Why can’t our women aspire to higher callings, why can’t we have 50 female senators in the National Assembly.



Why are we still discussing Child Marriage in Nigeria when it should be a thing of the past. Why are there no strong laws guarding against Rape, Domestic Abuse, Sexual Harassment?



Over 50% of rape cases go unreported because the victims know that eventually, they won’t get justice, the perpetuator will be released to commit more crimes. We should all be feminist because I want to raise children in society that encourages and values her women.



Who doesn’t want the same thing. When Linda Ikeji wrote her long epistle on violence against women, she forgot one thing, that she is part of the problem. There are hundreds of women that Linda has put their faces and stories on her blog without thinking about the effect it will have on their families and their relatives.



The pen they say is mightier than the sword, that is why Linda Ikeji has become undoubtedly one of the most influential women in Africa. Why is it that she has never said anything about violence against women prior to WizKid’s threat?



If Linda puts up a small classified advert on violence against women on her blog, think about how this will help the global cause.



We should all be feminists and it starts with you and I, male and female. We should all be feminists and its more than just words, take action!


- See more at: http://olorisupergal.com/why-we-should-all-be-feminists-by-jumoke-adekanye/#sthash.jVKAcUXY.dpuf

Hi, so we have a medium scale Fish pond and we urgently need a man who is willing to help manage the Fish Pond. The applicant must be living in Alimosho and the person must have little experience in managing Fish Ponds.

The applicant can be a SSCE Holder, just be honest and willing to work. Flexible working hours and good pay - Extra Perks

Call 08060164876 for more info

On top the 'there is too much heat in Nigeria, I am traveling out,' abeg, that man is just fake

kay29000:
Checkout this picture collage of Nollywood movie director, Kunle Afolayan and his son drinking Garri and groundnut. I guess, no matter how rich you are, your tongue still craves some meals.

http://nigeriancelebritypictures..com.ng/2016/04/pics-kunle-afolayan-and-his-son-taking.html

Olamide aka Baddo is the original voice of the streets, from his humble beginning in Bariga to the streets of America, Olamide is the truest representation of the Nigerian dream.

His latest album, Abule Sowo is a combination of guts and glory. When you watch the video, apart from the normal Olamide blast of goodness, you can’t help but notice the confidence that comes with the dance and the lyrics.

Here are 5 Money lessons every Nigerian woman should learn from Olamide’s Abule Sowo.

No one was created to be poor

You know say i no be gbaroof eh
And i no like awoof eh
Emi o waye maya eh
Set the roof on fire eh

Non one inherited poverty. We are all destined to be successful in all our endeavors. Your parents might not be successful; this shouldn’t stop you from pursuing your dreams. People might tell you that you won’t make it, this shouldn’t deter you from becoming successful. All it takes is tenacity and hardwork, definitely favor will continually shine on you.

The God Factor is all that Matters

They say my level too low
Baba God dey lift me higher eh

Whether you are a Christian or a Muslim, God is the most important factor in our lives. It has never been about how much money you have or how much money is coming your way. Its only mercy and grace that keeps us. In everything you do, in all that you have, never forget your creator.

Don’t Take Nonsense

Omo abule sowo (omo abule sowo)

If anybody fvckup (if anybody fvckup)

I go put them in their place (omo abule sowo)

I no do real estate and management but

(omo abule sowo)

People will disappoint you, some will tell you that you will never make it, but as an elegantly confident entrepreneur, let them know that they should keep their opinions to themselves because ‘it doesn’t matter.’ One of the challenges you will face on your road to success is the fear of failure and the fear of people who will think you are failing. This is the reason why you have to ensure that no one takes away your confidence and determination.

Always Stay Humble

Because am keeping my cool eh

Bi ti haier thermo cool eh

Wan loun fi ogidan we ekun eh

Erin wan bow a de’kun eh

Never stop staying humble. Keep your cool, no matter how successful you get, no matter how bloated your ego should be, keep your cool. You don’t have to be boastful before people know that you are successful. Sometimes we are tempted to showcase our success to the world and all but don’t. Continue keeping your cool each and every single day.

Your Success Will Amaze the World

Kole ye wan, bomi se wannu agbon
Young presido, biti idi agbon
Wan fe mumi, ngbo dey say na who
Ma pe laye biti ebora oru

No one can specifically explain how water enters the Coconut, the mystery is the stuff of legends. When your success amazes people, it’s a good thing. Infact when we pray for divine turn around, this is what we are asking for. So keep achieving entrepreneur, never stop dreaming and achieving because your success will amaze the world.

http://araba.com.ng/2016/04/5-lessons-every-entrepreneur-must-learn-olamides-abule-sowo/

On Thursday, one of the greatest woman in the history of Architecture said goodbye to the world. World over, women; young and old, architects; upcoming and established mourned the woman who became a legend by designing structures that will span centuries.

Dame Zaha Hadid wasn’t just any woman, she was an extraordinary woman who blazed the trail of modern architecture. She created buildings that encapsulated the description ‘queen of the curve.’

Aside from being a great architect, Zaha gave a few pointers about defiling all odds to excel as an extraordinary woman.

The first thing women in Nigeria should learn from Zaha is her Confidence to excel in a man’s world. Before her, the field of Architecture was often considered a man’s domain, she felt a pressure to stick with Interior Design but she resisted this temptation.

Zaha went on to create great asymmetrical timepieces that future generations will draw inspiration from. From the moment she decided to become an architect, Zaha stood by a belief that nothing could stop her and that same belief is what kept her going.

Women should stop looking at the things and people that say no, women should look at the yes and never break eye contact. Only confidence can give you that assurance that you will succeed.

Zaha was hardworking, she once said ‘Like men, women have to be diligent and work hard.’ Success transcends the word. We have to consistently improve each and every single day in whatever we do because that is the only road to success.

My secondary school anthem read “Mura si ise Ore mi, Ojo ma nlo” (Be hardworking my friend, for the days are not waiting for any one) We sang this song with grace and decades after, the lyrics will still resonate in our heads.

Hard work is the key to true success. There is no shortcut, there is no diversion, the answer is be hardworking or don’t even bother working at all.

“I will never give myself the luxury of thinking, ‘I’ve made it.’” This is probably her most famous quote, she was the first woman and the first Muslim to receive the Pritzker Architecture Prize.

She received the Stirling Prize in 2010 and 2011. In 2012, she was created a Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire and in 2015 she became the first woman to be awarded the RIBA Gold Medal in her own right.

After all these honors, Zaha could still say I will never tell myself that yes, you’ve achieved the highest goal you can ever achieve, stop working.

You can never stop, you can never say I have made it, you have to keep breaking new ground and keep doing extraordinary things.

These are the lessons women in Nigeria should pay attention to. Confidence, Hard Work and Tenacity.

http://araba.com.ng/2016/04/women-take-cue-zaha-hadid/

Olajumoke Orisaguna’s story will never be forgotten. Decades from now, Nigerians will still talk about the bread seller that became a star. In one moment, her life was transformed and she became an overnight celebrity, the classic Nigerian dream.

As her story unfolds, there are 3 things every employee ought to learn from Olajumoke’s story.

Hard Work

She didn’t sleep in the comfort of her home that morning saying she wasn’t going to hawk bread. She woke up and despite the fact that she was feeling sleepy as usual, she balanced the plank on her head and she hit the road.

If you have ever observed bread hawkers, you will know their modus operandi. Early in the morning by 5 am, they are up, by 6 am, they will hit the road going from street from street advertising their bread.

After selling the bulk of the loafs for that day, they rest for a while then in the evening, they will pick up the unsold loafs and hit the streets again. This is the cycle every day and this is one of the amazing things every employee should learn from Olajumoke.

Resilience

Resilience is the reason why even of the stress is out of this world, we do it anyway. Resilience is the reason why despite the traffic and the stress, we still wake up in the morning to head to work. Resilience is the reason why we are extraordinary women. Resilience is what we should all learn from Olajumoke Orisaguna.

Despite all the hardships that come with street hawking, she still finds the strength in her spirit to work hard to feed her family. This is the spirit every employee should inculcate, the spirit to always be resilient no matter what happens.

Loyalty

Loyalty is the key to succeeding in any endeavor. They say anything you find yourself doing is worth doing well. That means that the job you are doing no matter the circumstances you find yourself deserves the best of you. Olajumoke was just a bread seller and even after her overnight fame, she still acknowledged the Bakery she used to work for. That is what shows that one is a good employee, loyalty even after you have found greener pastures, always remain loyal.

Loyalty + Resilience + Hard work are the 3 Things Every Employee must learn from Olajumoke.

http://araba.com.ng/2016/03/3-things-every-employee-learn-olajumoke-orisaguna/

Here is the thing, the fact that you impregnated a girl and you put it on Nairaland to get advice is just sad, believe it or not, you are not ready to be father and ask your spiritual consultant to deduce whether you will both be able to help the child achieve greatness because if you can only give the child less, then you are the greatest slowpoke on earth.

Are you a Blogger/Writer?

Can you handle breaking news for a blog looking to increase traffic?

If yes, send your CV and a writing sample to Jumkye@gmail.com or call 08060164876.

Great.

Former governor of Ekiti State, Dr. Kayode Fayemi has described President Muhammadu Buhari’s ministerial list as a congregation of party men and women who worked hard to ensure the victory of the All Progressives Congress.

Fayemi who spoke to journalists at the APC National Secretariat, on Tuesday said “One must thank the President for reposing confidence in us and we thank the party because when you look at the list, you will see that this is a galaxy of party men and women. These are people that have been very active and worked hard to ensure the victory of our party.

“And we also hold it as a duty to deliver on the promises made to Nigerians by the party. So it is a call to duty really, it involved a lot of work, service and sacrifice to Nigerians.”

He also added that he didn’t anticipate that his name was going to be included in the list.

He said “Well, to the extent that I was not told by the President that I was going to be on his list, yes, it came as a surprise. The President is a surprise master, let me put it that way.

“He did not tell anyone to the best of my knowledge and I would have thought that I was in vantage position to know more than others. I was with him for five days before then, I was with him in New York at the United Nation General Assembly and he never said a word about his list to me nor to anyone else.

“We came back to Nigeria together, I was with him till 4:00pm on the evening he submitted the list to the President of the Senate and I didn’t have any clue of what is going to happen. So, to that extent I was pleasantly surprised.”

http://www.theheraldng.com/the-list-is-a-congregation-of-party-men-and-women-fayemi/

More pixs

Understanding Worship was held in Oyo State, the concert turned out to be a huge blessing to everyone that attended. You should all plan to attend the next Concert because it might be happening in your neighborhood.

Now this is not to condemn University of Lagos, I am a proud alumna of the school.

When I was in 300 Level, wires near my hostel, Amina Hall started sparking, we all ran out, shouting and screaming, it happened in the middle of the night. Fire services came to douse the fire but it was really scary. No one died but I still remember the bright light coming from right outside the hostel.

If the fire hadn't been stopped, the whole block would have been burnt that day.

A similar thing happened when I was in Final year, Honours Hall I was sleeping one Sunday when I heard sparks coming from the ground. We couldn't see it but the ground was vibrating. A few of us went to the DSA's house to protest and the man sent Electricians later to check.

Even if EKEDC left cables, University of Lagos should have taken serious action to do something about it.

I stayed in New Hall for Two Years, Oluchi could have been me, Oluchi could have been anyone of the millions of UNILAG students that stroll in and out of New Hall everyday.

My friend witnessed Oluchi's death and she is still shocked till now.

Everything is taken for granted in this country, UNILAG will push the blame to someone else rather than admitting that the University didn't take safety precautions to protect the lives of students and visitors on the campus.

Oluchi's death shouldn't be swept under the carpet.

In order to show any iota of shame and sobriety, UNILAG should name one hostel after her, it is only befitting because the young girl didn't even get to pick a project topic before she died.

Safety should be the watchword on Campus, every safety measure on earth should be implemented on Campus. This is the time to take action.

Today, Christians have come to misinterpret the true meaning of worship. Rick Warren once said “the more you pray, the less you'll panic, the more you worship, the less you worry, and you’ll feel more patient and less pressured.”

In order to worry less and feel the unbroken connection with our creator, we need to truly understand worship.

This Friday, at the Federal School of Surveying Centenary Theatre Oyo, Oyo state, Essem Somto will be holding a concert titled Understanding Worship.

Priest-Hood Choir! Pastor Adedamola, Ola Sax and other anointed guest ministers will be there.

“People think opening their mouth and saying something means worship, to truly worship, you have to worship from your heart, every lyric should mean something, you should feel what you are saying and you should mean it,” Somto said while explaining the vision of the concert.

Somto who also describes himself as a character of music is a First Class graduate of Oduduwa University, Ile Ife (Business Administration) and he is currently serving in Oyo State.

The Concert will commence at 3pm till 7pm. Every one is invited.

Good graphics advertise businesses faster than words. That is why business owners need a graphic designer every day to create their marketing materials. Everyone with a little knowledge of photo shop wants to pride themselves as graphic designers but true graphic designers are pros who know how to create magnetic images that are never forgotten.

Here are seven reasons why you need to hire a graphic designer.

1. You don’t have time.

Small business owners have a lot on their plates. That means you may put off doing a new marketing piece, even if it is something you really need. Hiring a designer to help means you can get that project done and begin using it to make you more money.

2. You can’t afford not to.

By the time you learn how to use that page layout software that came free with your computer, you may have invested several hours. Couldn’t that have been used more productively? If you could have paid a designer a sum of money and you will earn double for your business, you have not chosen wisely.

3. You are trying to uniquely brand your business.

Now, not every small business needs to stand out. You want to stand out. You don’t do that with a clip art logo or canned flier that looks the same as 10 of those 12 competitors. Using marketing materials that are unique and stand out are a way for people to remember you. And if they think they’ve seen you before, they are more likely to choose to contact you for your products or services.

4. You want to keep your look consistent.

If you use different logos, different fonts and different messages everywhere, it’s going to be hard to look professional – never mind standing out in a potential customer’s mind. Designers know how to watch those little details and ensure that every piece of marketing communications fits with everything else. Sure, your customers may not notice if you used “Times New Roman” in one ad and “Calibri” in another, but the subconscious mind picks up details and uses them to form an overall opinion of your business. You look and seem more put together if everything does, in fact, fit together.
5. You save yourself a lot of headaches.

Let’s say you do put together something yourself, and send it off to the printer. When the proof – or worse, the finished product – comes back with problems that you didn’t anticipate, fixing or reprinting will take even more time and money. Designers know what to do to make sure a file prints out correctly.

6. You get a brand new source of ideas.

Designers are generally pretty creative folks, and they like to help their clients get the most out of every project. Hiring a designer is likely to mean that you’ll end up with a better finished product than you could have put together, even if you’re skilled at making things look good. His or her ideas may lead to a more eye-catching, more appealing and more polished piece than you would have created – thus leading to more attention from potential customers and more sales.

7. You take more pride in your marketing materials.

Have you ever been in a situation where you had an ugly or boring business card? Were you less likely to hand it out? If that brochure is outdated and uses a weird color scheme, you may just keep it behind the counter instead of displaying it. All your marketing materials should be the best they can be for your business, or you’ll have some hesitation in presenting them to new customers.

http://www.thefinix.com/2015/07/seven-reasons-why-you-should-hire-a-graphic-designer/

Fredrick Obateru Akinruntan is the richest King in Nigeria, he is the Olugbo of Ugbo kingdom in Ilaje, Ondo State. He is the founder of Obat Oil, one of the largest privately owned oil companies in Nigeria. As at 2014, his net worth was US$300 million.

During his six years reign, he has lived a lavish lifestyle, he once said that he has $1 million watch during an interview.

A lot of Nigerians don’t know a lot about this king who is richer than the Ooni of Ife.

Here are five things you didn’t know about the Olugbo of Ugbo Kingdom.

1. He is the second richest king in Africa, the first is King Mswati III of Swaziland.

2. He has a custom built 2012 Rolls Royce similar to that of Queen Elizabeth II.

3. He is the first black person to buy the 2014 model of Bentley automobile.

4. Obateru established Obat Oil in 1981, today the company has more than 50 gas stations across the six geopolitical zones of Nigeria and the company owns one of the largest tank farms in Africa.

5. Thirty-three years ago, there was a prophecy that Obateru would become the Olugbo of Ugbo Kingdom but back then he didn’t take the prophecy seriously.


http://www.thefinix.com/2015/07/5-things-you-didnt-know-about-the-richest-king-in-nigeria/

28-year-old Blut Katzchen has said that she allows self-proclaimed vampires to suck blood directly from her body.

Blut who calls herself a Black Swan said she has been fascinated with vampires since she was young, she said “I found a book on vampires in my sister’s collection and became completely entranced with it. It takes a very specific type of mindset to enjoy being a swan – you have to be more submissive and enjoy giving.”


Her current boyfriend, 43-year-old Michael Vachmiel said sucking Blut’s blood gives him a lot of energy. Blut explained that “You have to have a very strong connection to the person who is feeding off you, Michael and I have a very intimate relationship and I trust him completely.”

Michael uses a sterile blade to puncture Blut’s skin. He makes inch-long cuts that aren’t too deep, and then uses suction cups to draw the blood out. Sometimes, he just licks and sucks the blood off her skin directly.


Blut said “We’ll sterilize the area with alcohol and he uses mouthwash before drinking, so it’s very clean. There are some risks involved but we do everything we can to keep it as clean as possible. If you drink too much you do get sick – it doesn’t take much blood for Michael to get his energy.”


Micheal also revealed that he has been drinking blood since he was 13, he said “It was during an intense sexual act where blood was drawn and touched my lips. At that point, it was an awakening. Just like a person has a favourite culinary dish, vampires have a favourite spiritual culinary dish. In doing such, we get the energy we need and the donor has their need to submit, so it’s completely consensual.”

Seems Real Life Vampires are real after all.


http://www.thefinix.com/2015/07/meet-the-woman-who-lets-her-vampire-boyfriend-suck-her-blood/

In Africa, the kitchen is the exclusive preserve of women but either by chance or choice, some African men love to cook.

Good news is that guys who cook are better in bed, because he knows his way round the kitchen is a sure fire indication that he will know his way around your Vagina.

1. Patience
Guys who cook are definitely patient, he will never be in a rush to get you to the finished line, he is not going to rush you and aim at only his own satisfaction.

Cooking has taught him how to wait for the water to boil a little before pouring the rice and this is the same tact he will use to bring you to the finish line.

2. Multitasking

Spending time in the kitchen will teach anyone how to multi task, and a man that cooks will take this same skill to the bedroom. He will use all the tools at his disposal to make you happy.

3. Improvisation

Routine, routine, routine gets boring all the time, a man who cooks is always ready to give you a new experience anytime, so ask him for the day’s special.

4. Pleasing Others

Cooking is about pleasing people, making sumptuous meals that won’t only fill their stomachs but also make them happy. That is why on the bed, he is all about pleasing you and making you happy.

5. Discipline

It takes a high level of discipline to get cooking right; the sort of person who has that disciplined mind set applies it to a lot of things. If he can perfect his craft in the kitchen, he is also great in bed.



http://www.thefinix.com/2015/07/5-reasons-why-guys-who-cook-are-better-in-bed/