₦airaland Forum

Lwkmd............... Oh lawdi!



I think we should have rap battles in Nigeria o

Tinubu vs OBJ
OBJ vs Atiku
NOI vs kemi Adeoshun
Diezani maduekwe vs Ibe kachiku
Omotola vs Genevieve
Dbanj vs Don jazzy
Tonto dike vs ivonne Nelson
Olamide vs ruggedman


Finally.......

......wait for it.........


GEJ vs BUHARI



Begin!

NLS aren't loyal peeps at all


Bonus track....
The junkerteer ft adeoshi.



*runs away over taking flash*

Progress2468:
Which kind govt be this na?
We hardly know what to believe

APC SUPPORTERS ARE LIKE THIS
Example:
Buhari :
my government will pay unemployed Nigerians 5k every month.
Zombies:
sai Baba... change is here..Nigeria will rise again!
.
Buhari:
I never promised to pay unemployed Nigerians 5k each month.
.
Zombies:
No mind those Jonathanians. With their fake news. Show us links where he promised that. We are solidly behind you. Nothing for yam eaters
.
Buhari :
We have started collection of data to enable us pay the unemployed graduates 5k.
.
Zombies :
Where are those TANoids that said Baba is not a promise keeper...shame on all PDP. Baba till 2023 !
.
Buhari:
I wont pay 5k to unemployed youths. Its not a priority !
.
Zombies:
Baba is right! Whats the use of 5k? What can 5k do to anyone. Mr president we love u. Best president ever!
.
I wont be surprised if I wake up tomorrow and hear :
.
Buhari:
Unemployed Nigerians should pay 5k every month to the government.
.
His idiotic zombies will be like:
.
Zombies:
Think of what u can do for your country and not what your country can do for you. Baba is right. But I know those unpatriotic wailers wont pay
.
Abeg no vex o. Is this thing ordinary?

You wan kill person with laughter oga o!!! Lwkmd


This just made my day walahi! Eh e try ra ra sha.

Strahovski1:
Polygamy is trash. Op must be a big fool for this trash of a thread. Indirectly permitting men to be adulterous.

So a nigerian woman getting married must be ready to share her husband with A MISTRESS. You must be a promiscuous man and I have pity on your wife. It's men like your self who promote infidelity in marriages and claim religion. At least polygamy there is official marriage not some useless mistress of a wh0re.

Ok op please don't come back to Nairaland to tell us you caught yor wife fvcking your driver. You must be ready to share your wife with another man either as a boyfriend or a sugar daddy.

Nonsense

Are you sure you're a guy because I don't believe this comment. If you are then indeed there is still hope for Nigerian men. *thumbs up*

Achorise:
I'm only been sarcastic, cos people blame Jonathan for the rat that eats fishe even in their houses. I wish everyone will see it from your point of view. you are on point bro

Oh ok

[quote author=Achorise post=43551815]Jonathan! !!!!!! why again. [/quote

My friend this is not about Jonathan ,this rot has been on since time memorial before even obasanjos democratic rule. Be logical for goodness sakes.

modath:
No point in going to court then, let's just do it Jungle Justice style...

Of all Judicial miscarriages in this banana Republic of ours, nothing trumps Peter Odili's lifetime injunction from being investigated for financial impropriety!! SMH!

In fact I support jungle justice against these currput people in power.

Will be back soon

Is dreadlocks part of this?

With this accident one will think the government will take relevant measures to correct the health system but reverse will be the case.


I am not happy about the unfortunate and avoidable death of the minister and his family, but in a way I am happy, why being so is because those in power will be pushed to do the right thing since one of their own has gone because it could have been one of them in RIP world.

However if nothing happens to address the roads, first aid education,health and the emergency system of this country, then nothing good should be expected.

tomakint:
I don't know when other Yoruba speaking States will start to get it right like the Ondo people..(thank God for my Ekiti indigenes too)... this is what Ogun, Kwara, Osun, Lagos, Oyo and other Southern States ought to have done many many years back but they keep crying to one mumu FG that careless...... Spread the operation stop Cattle grazing around the States. Kudos to Mimiko.

Cc: Lalasticlala over to you

That's it.......enough of insulting the fg over the poor jobs of state governments, the Fulani killings that happened aren't the governors supposed to checkmate them?

The federal government has other pressing matters to attend and his job is for the country at large not states , state problems are state government jobs to tackle thats part of what they've been voted for.

In fact if I'm wrong can you enlighten me on what state governments jobs are?

Nina4u:
i will pray for you my dear

Thanks but I sudjest you use that praying time better by helping those in dire need, like animals, they are very vulnerable and need all the help they can get from going extinct. Thank you.

matrix199:
Yea! Wolves are loyal and faithful beasts. The alpha male and the alpha females mate for life, unless one is killed by a large prey like the moose, or by another bigger predator like the grizzly bear, then the other wolves wld fight to earn his or her position. But if the other male wolves are related to her by blood(sons), she would never allow anyone of the sons who wants to succeed the late alpha male wolf, to mate with her, until an outside male, who is strong enough to lead the pack comes to entice her. The alpha female's urine contains a hormone that suppresses the fertility of other female wolves in the pack, rendering them sterile. The alpha male wolf exerts his authority by regularly bullying the younger male wolves into submission.

What I like about the wolves is the way they hunt. Unlike the lions that stalk and ambush their prey, the wolves announce their presence to the prey, letting it know their intention. They wld chase down the prey for several kilometers till the prey wears out. When they finally catch up with it, it's dinner time!

But I love lions a lot. The male lion is designed for two purposes: to mate and to fight. The roar of a lion is dreadful. It can be heard 5km away. The wolf is principled, the lion is ruthless. After a take over(when a younger and stronger male lion(s) take over the pride), they kill all the cubs. This is to ensure the mothers quickly come into heat/estrus, for mating. It may seem cruel, but that's how it is in the lion society. The male mate as quickly as it can, so the expectant cubs can grow under his protection, within the limited time he has to own the pride.

I've always wanted to be a zoologist, but I ended up in the medical line.

I admit you're good, as for zoologist, same here but I just hate calculus Like a plague.

I hope to start an animal shelter when I box up financially.

Nina4u:
it will come a time in u life when u will call God wether u belive or not ..so funny dey deny god but if u on a stormy ocean and u drowning u pray to God? Abi u need him every day oo not only when u in trubble ..i got testemonies to u dunt eaven know ..

Babe spare me the hullabaloo, if your god truly exist then he won't earn my respect, so since I'm not convinced it exist, your bigotry threats does not faze me at all.

Next!

Cavenchy:
The reason he got a bashing from NLders is unknown to me but this is what I envisage transpired between the two parties in the event :

1. The white man was probably racist(Not everyone is perfect).
2. Some cultures observe the "Mama taught me not to speak to strangers" even till old age. So perhaps you shouldn't go saying hi to people you don't know. They most likely would ignore you or worse (common in the states) get a loud "eat sh*t" or d middle finger. And this isn't even directed at racists but it's common when you say hi to someone having a really bad day, it's the culture.
3. The white man probably thought the guy was gonna ask him for some change.
4. Most people in the western world do not expect strangers to be nice, children don't even greet adults, therefore it might be wierd to the man that the guy decided to say hi to him.
5. Most unlikely reason - he didn't hear the greeting.

Well, a comment or said white people have this kind of distant attitude to strangers, like if you're meeting a white person for the first time they will give you like one or two steps distance then maybe after some time they can be as close to you as ever. There are indeed racist white, but I believe on can earn his/her respect by being humble , observant, respectful yet unattached/minding ones business, which clearly most of us Nigerians lack .

Anyhow jare, na dem sabi

orisa37:
A minute in God's Eyes is a million years in human lives. Our physical calculations here on earth is far inferior to what obtains in the Spirit. The world will not end till our Task Master stops firing. God is in Control. Jesus has never left us. He has His Comforter always with us. And He will finally come t to lead us on His Earthly Jerusalem.

So that explains why your god will say " I will answer that olajumoke's wannabe prayer next minute" then a million years on. That olajumoke wannabe prayer person be dead and forgotten. Smh

Cavenchy:
I appreciate your honesty as well. A few more notes to others that might read this.

To avoid problems with foreigners, study their way of life before you venture into their territory. In Uk for example, people tend to mind their business an awful lot. If you go in expecting them to be wowed by your Gucci jewelery or to just jump out of a corner and say kilonshele or how far the way Nigerians do to strangers, you would be in for a great shock, I've seen a lot of Nigerians call people racist when they were just simply expecting Londoners to act Nigerian. It just doesn't work that way. Now on the other hand, Chinese people don't speak too much English, but they are good at reading emotions, they can read your emotions even when you insult them in your local tongue or when you plainly don't like them...ever wondered why they use so many smileys as well as dolls and teddybears?

I read a thread about one fellow Nigerian in Canada claiming to have experienced racism from a couple of caucacian Canadians. He did not expect the bashing he got from here on Nl . he said he greeted one of the whites on a busstop but the man white man ignored him and shifted to another corner, when they all got into the bus the white man sat next to another white person(a woman) and both of them where discussing. According to the Nigerian he felt insulted and he noticed the couple talking and laughing they didn't even bother to mask they weren't laughing at the Nigerian guy.



From that experience , I observed that many of us Nigerians have serious inferiority complex. First in Nigeria, we find it hard to greet strangers but abroad some of us make it a do or die affair to greet strangers because they are white. Its unfortunate.

matrix199:
I've spent most of my life studying Panthera leo. I've gat loads of materials on lions. They turn out to be my favorite beast.

What transpired wasn't jealousy. It has nothing to do with emotion. Lions are social animals. Faithfulness is rarely seen in both male and female lions. What happened was just a spar to remind him of their coalition agreement. You see, the lioness needs him more than he needs her. She doesn't want him attracted to the other lioness, lest he gets distracted, with divided attention. In as much as the lioness do the hunting, the male owns the kill. Without him around, she can never keep the kill as there are lots of hyenas lurking round, waiting to mob a sole lioness, or even a small group of lioness, with the intent to steal their kill. With the male around, the kill is secured, because hyenas dread adult male lions a lot.

Don't u just love similes like.... As brave as a lion?! I saw a scene where a large group of hyenas mobbed 5 lionesses. All of a sudden, the male lion showed up from nowhere, chased down the matriarch(the leader of the hyenas which is the oldest and biggest hyena in the clan. It's a female by the way). The lion caught up with her and killed her. The other hyenas ran for dare lives.

I'm so crazy about lions. I love the creatures.

Wao, this is enlightening. I personally fancy wolves.

Majestic, loyal to a fault and don't fancy trouble.

Unlike lions that are polygamous in nature, male wolves on the other hand mate with their respective females for life. When it comes to hunting the male wolves go out in a pack to hunt, bringing their respective kills to their females caring for the home and cubs.
I love their arrangements

Cavenchy:
I'm glad you said the truth that you've never been there, where I live, I deal with a lot of Asians and have many of them as close friends. To be honest, they aren't at all what your friends make them out to be. I've only noticed that many uncultured Africans treat them with disdain(or less regard) and even make fun of them cos of their language and looks. They won't be friendly with you if you come across as overbearing or they feel that you look down on them. Trust me, a lot of Nigerians tend to do this and don't even know they are being rude. The good Nigerians I know have no problems with them, if you look friendly, they will be friendly. Nigerians need to stop judging every nation by Nigerian standards, people have their different cultures and if you don't respect them, they won't respect yours.

I appreciate your observation. And you're right, one can't go to Rome with the mindset of his/her country home and expect romans to treat it with respect.

Cavenchy:
They will if your English is impeccable and your accent is British or American. More so if you are Caucasian.

If you're Caucasian is when they will worship you, not negro, some of them are neutral, most are not comfortable around negroes , few of them are hostile towards negroes (mostly Nigerians). So therefore I don't believe in that statement, it you like speak the Queen's accent, Asians won't give a hoot.

Though i've never never been there so my opinions are based on people I know that have been.

We are in a season of PARA............llelogram


Ayam2muchi

I have never done mummy and daddy before o! *runs out of thread before bashing is thrown at her*

Logician:
Unfortunately if you travel to China. They worship you like a god.

Adonbuluvyu!

malvisguy212:
deep inside you, are you really sure God does not exist ?

Over sure dey worry me self

malvisguy212:
you probably don't know what you're putting yourself into. Its get easier.

Please tell me what I am putting myself into. Mr Malvisguy?

Eluwilussit:
If we go by any of the versions, the okada man will walk free in most cases. If he didn't fight back, and the aggressor simply slumped while hitting him, he's a free man. Assuming he fought back, that's also self defence. He's allowed by law to defend himself with reasonable force, at least. So he might get off easily with light penalty. Anyway you look am, na the dead man lose.

Abi o, but my concern still is the poor okada rider.

malvisguy212:
if you die on the inside, you will surly die on the outside.

Tell me something I don't know malvis.

The funny but not so funny thing about this case is that it may not be the punch that killed that man but he must have been sick or something , an autopsy should be conducted to determine the real cause of his death before punishing the okada rider.



Oh well, only in Nigeria

malvisguy212:
the relationship you have with your parents, is it boring ? Christians will have a father ,son relationship in heaven.

Nope it ain't, but exhausting.

Yeah right. So there is a quota system of Christianity in heaven. Nice!

Humblebloke:
Extremely boring......

That's what you get for being a boring conformist.........

I still can't fathom how they rationalize these fairytale concepts.

Bros, EMA old lobatan

Amberon:
Let he who has an ear hear and take heed. Jesus is alive and he is coming back soon.

I also had a dream some weeks ago about rapture. It was bloody. I thought it was real until I woke up. pls everyone, amend your ways and be reconciled back to God.

I had a dream some months ago , I saw myself on the streets of America, then a famous actor I fancy, bruce willis of die hard approached me for a serious relationship, it felt it so real then , you know until I woke up. But I know its just my head playing its usual tricks, Bruce Willis is way too old for me and then considering he is already taken.

You dreamt, rapture if just a figment of the imagination you picked up from the bible, its not real! Even When i was 10 I dreamt I and my brother where angels with giant wings and with the power of a Jedi in star wars, and also we possessed the abilities of storm in x-men, we were white skinned, blue eyed and blond haired angels.

Common just.................,.......




COMMON!

Humblebloke:
Wow....Enternal fuckery for Muslims in their paradise.......



What will christians be doing in their own paradise

Eternal and endless eons of praises to a fairytale childish, jealous and egotistical god.

How boring