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Food / Kunu - Tell Me Everything You Know About It by Ka: 11:01pm On Feb 21, 2007
Hello all,

I'm looking to create a Wikipedia entry on kunu, as I find that information on this drink is missing. I'm thinking of putting something like this:

"Kunu (also known as kununzaki) is a popular drink consumed throughout Nigeria, mostly in the north. It is usually made from millet or sorghum, although it can be made from maize as well.

The variety of the drink made from sorghum is a milky light-brown colour, and it is usually sweetened and flavoured with ginger before being consumed."

So my questions to fill in the gaps are:

Does anyone know if it is consumed in other parts of Africa?

Can anyone PLEASE fill me in on the exact procedure on how to make kunu? I know it involves using ground grains that have been soaked in water, but my knowledge beyond this is scanty.

Am I right that is it flavoured with ginger?

Are there any other variants of grains used to make it?

What is the colour of kunu made from millet? I think kunu made from maize is the colour of ogi.


If there's any other thing you can add, please feel free to do so. Let's put our culture on the map of knowledge!

Thanks,

Ka

3 Likes

Fashion / Re: Fashion Mistakes People Make by Ka: 2:36pm On Dec 24, 2006
There are no such things as 'fashion mistakes'.

The only mistakes people make are not wearing what they wear with the right amount of confidence and panache.

The fashion mistake of today is often the fashion trend of tomorrow.
Politics / Re: NTA News: Do You Still Have Faith In Them? by Ka: 1:07am On Dec 02, 2006
there's something called the middle road. and nigerians just want the truth. do you really think that's too much to ask?
overly negative stories of nigeria will draw ire. over positive and saccharine sweet gist will draw scorn.

OK Texazzpete, so here's a mathemtical formula you can use to work out the truth:

(Western stories + NTA stories)/2

See? NTA still has its use in providing a necessary variable to solve this equation.
Politics / Re: NTA News: Do You Still Have Faith In Them? by Ka: 12:18am On Dec 01, 2006
When the Western media report tales of 419, Niger Delta militancy, corruption, electoral rigging, collapsed buildings, aeroplane crashes, stark poverty, etc., Nigerians complain that they are giving Nigeria a bad name.

But when NTA news reports about how inflation is down, how democracy is taking root, how reforms are spreading, how corruption is being fought, how foreign reserves are being built (by our great leader, General (Chief) Olusegun Obasanjo (rtd (that is, retired general, not retired chief)))- Nigerians complain about government bias (as they have done on this thread).

Hm! Naijans. . .   there's just no pleasing them. sad
Career / Re: Why Nigerians Don't Get Jobs When They Apply by Ka: 9:09pm On Nov 10, 2006
I wrote a couple of articles on this a while back.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Is There Acute Job Scarcity Or Are We Not Employable? by Ka: 4:42pm On Nov 06, 2006
Mazaje: I have live in nigeria and am living in europe now and i will tell u that part of the reason why their economy is growing all the time is because most of the people are getting and doing jobs they desire by so they give their best and contribute more to it.
Well, perhaps before they got those jobs, they were doing jobs that they DIDN'T desire quite so much. But they used those 'undesirable' jobs as stepping stones to get to where they wanted to be.
Politics / Re: Every Law Is Created To Favor Its Creators by Ka: 11:38pm On Oct 20, 2006
Hm. How did I miss this?

OK, let me adjust my devil's advocate hat.

First of all, do you equate 'favouring' with 'not disfavouring'?
Politics / Re: As The President Of Nigeria, What Would You Do? by Ka: 7:49pm On Oct 20, 2006
walelead: Probably, none of us commenting on this topic will become president come 2007. . .

Which is why I gave a facetious answer. When I was younger, I used to expend a lot of energy on this topic - but after a while, I realised that my serious energy was better put to use elsewhere.



. . .so what can I do NOW to help improve my country?
That's a much more relevant question to ask.

I think one thing anyone can do is to encourage anyone they know to try to be as economically independent as possible. Educate them on how to educate themselves so that they can obtain the relevant information they need to be independent.

If Nigerians were more economically independent, they wouldn't be willing tools in the hands of the political elite. They also would have the energy and confidence to challenge the political elite who make such a mess of Nigeria.
Politics / Re: As The President Of Nigeria, What Would You Do? by Ka: 12:28am On Oct 18, 2006
Hm, what will I do?

Well, as you know, a nation's greatest resource is its people.

So if I am made president in 2007, I will endeavour to maximise the use of this valuable resource!

First of all, I will make it mandatory that everyone should have their head shaved at 4 month intervals. The idea is that after 4 months, enough hair will have grown to make clothing fibre (just like sheep are shaved for sheep's wool). I will ensure that we become the leading exporter of 'Naija Faiba' and thus make lots of money which I shall personally manage on behalf of my compatriots.

As we all know, there are a lot of wars going on in the underdeveloped parts of the world, and lots of crime going on in the developed parts. What do both parts of the world need? BLOOD! Lots of BLOOD! So my second measure will be to make it mandatory that every Nigerian should donate at least one litre of their blood every 4 months. This high quality blood (which has been fortified with ewedu and ugwu iron) will be exported to the areas mentioned above, and I shall again personally manage the accruing revenue.

Lastly, I shall pursue my drive to maximise the potential of my fellow citizens by mandating them to give up their spare kidney (which science tells us isn't used, anyway). The harvested kidneys shall be exported to the developed nations where people who have wrecked their kidneys through too much good living can have them replaced. But I will not stop there in my bid to ensure that Nigeria is the World Center for Kidney Harvesting. I shall comission research into growing three, four or even six kidneys per person so that our dominance will never be threatened.

And of course, the revenues shall be properly managed by U NO HU. . .
Politics / Re: Ask Babangida One Question? by Ka: 11:07pm On Oct 17, 2006
My question would be:

Please help to settle a dispute between me and my friend. I say that the dimensions of the gap in your teeth is 3.75mm; he says it is 5.17mm. Who is right?
Literature / Re: This Forum Is Too Dull. Are Nigerians Not Poem Loving People? by Ka: 11:04pm On Oct 17, 2006
Poetry?

I once wrote the following poem to a girl I was 'targeting':

My dear, I think you are very nice
Many times better than jollof rice
The thought that comes when I think of you
Is of fufu and chicken and egusi stew
Let me try to explain what my love means
It's like well-cooked tomatoes, onions and beans
For the love I have for you, I am
Prepared to give a bowl of pounded yam!

Needless to say, I was 'nailed' very harshly by the intended target. smiley
Career / Re: Getting That C.V. Right by Ka: 10:22pm On Oct 17, 2006
Here's the concluding part of this article published a few days ago.



Jerry: Typically, most applicants put down their name, contact details, date of birth, gender, profile, work experience, academic qualifications, hobbies and references. How irrelevant are any of those items?

Alex: It's not what they put – it's how they put it.

Charlie says that when he looks at a CV, what he is expecting it to do is to sell its owner. He's expecting it to convince him that the applicant is absolutely passionate about working for him, that the applicant is definitely the best person for the position and that he would be crazy to think of hiring anyone else.

And that's the problem with many of the CVs he looks at. They may state all the things you mention – but does that necessarily convince him that he should employ them?

Jerry: I still don't get you. If an applicant puts in his profile that he is hardworking, ambitious, a quick learner and self-motivated, why should any employer not want to employ him?

Alex: But this is the thing! It is not enough to state these things – the applicant should provide convincing evidence that this he has those qualities in the rest of his CV. For example, if he says he is hardworking, he should give an example elsewhere in his CV where he has demonstrated this. As Charlie says, "why should I believe that an applicant is the best thing since bottled kunu if there is no corroborating evidence of this in his CV?"

Jerry: OK, I give you that – but how can an employer fail to be convinced of someone's suitability for a position when his CV shows that he has a first class, or that he has worked in a similar position?

Alex: It's funny – this is another point I put to Charlie, and it made him even madder than before! He said that time after time, he sees applicants who expect the whole world to fall down before them just because they have a first class degree. Having a first class may be evidence that the applicant is academically gifted and prepared to work hard - but in the end, when he sees a CV that says that an applicant got a first class degree, all he can be certain of is that the applicant is capable of getting a first class degree. And this does not necessarily mean that the applicant is fitted to working in his company.

Jerry: But what's wrong with employing a hard worker who is academically intelligent?

Alex: Remember what I said earlier? The CV is supposed to convince the employer that the applicant is right for that particular position. What if it's not so important to be academically intelligent and hardworking? What if it's more important that the position requires that you should be creative? Or that you should be good at verbal communication? Or that you should be an analytical thinker? How does your first class degree by itself convince the employer of that? Even if the employer decides that you are hardworking and intelligent, does it follow automatically that you have the skills listed above?

I think Charlie put it best: "The point is that it is not enough to simply say 'I did this course' or 'I worked at that place' on your CV and expect the employer to magically conclude that you are the person he is looking for. You have to first decide what skills the employer is looking for. Then you have to look at your academic and work experience and ask yourself "Which incidents in these experiences demonstrate that I have these skills?" Then you should highlight these incidents in your CV".

Jerry: Did he give an example of what he was talking about?

Alex: Yes, he did. There was this position that was open at NDTech a while ago for a hardware engineer. The advertisement stated that the company was looking for someone who was analytical, good at solving problems, a good communicator and very familiar which computer terminology. Of course, he was deluged and unimpressed by the usual emails with CVs stating that the applicant had gone to this prestigious university or worked in that blue-chip organisation.

However, there was a CV from this applicant that stood out for him. Under the section on his academic experience, he talked about a project that he did configuring a computer to act as a server. He went into detail about this project, using technical expressions to explain what he was doing. That tied in with one of the company's requirements – that the applicant should be familiar with computer terminology.

Then in describing the project, he talked about one or two problems that he faced during the server configuration. He talked about how he diagnosed what the causes of the problems were, how he researched a solution to these problems, what alternative solutions he came up with and how he chose and implemented the eventual solution. Again, this description showcased two skills that the company was looking for – analytical and problem solving skills. And he repeatedly did this in other areas of his CV.

So the point is that his CV wasn't just some dry fact sheet with a list of dates and events. It was richly filled with stories and incidents – incidents that were a living testament as to how suitable the applicant was for the position. It didn't send Charlie to sleep – instead, it made him say "I want this man!"

Jerry: Wow! That's interesting. Is that all Charlie had to say, then?

Alex: No, that wasn't all. You know how sometimes you see a girl wearing a beautiful white satin dress and it looks all perfect,

Jerry: Yes,

Alex: , but then, you notice a black ugly stain right in the middle of the dress, visible to everyone. How would that make you feel?

Jerry: Actually, I would feel very irritated that the beauty of the dress was being spoiled by the stain. In fact, I would probably be more annoyed than if the dress was ugly and had the stain.

Alex: Ah, good. So you can imagine how someone like Charlie was feeling when he brought this up. I swear, I could practically see the steam coming from his nostrils and ears! Honestly, at one point I thought I should call the messenger to get a bucket of cold water,

Jerry (raising his hands): Hold on, hold on! What do satin dresses have to do with job applications?

Alex: Oh, sorry – I should have explained. Charlie was referring to the way many applicants don't check an otherwise flawless CV for little mistakes that end up spoiling it.

Jerry: Mistakes like what?

Alex: Come on, you know! Mistakes like grammatical errors, non-sequential dates, wrong names, cut-and-paste errors, that sort of thing.

Jerry: Ah-ah, you come on! Those are very small errors.

Alex: It's lucky for you that you're not saying that in front of Charlie. Actually, it's lucky for both of you – because Charlie would probably self-explode and kill both of you. He says that for him, attention to detail is absolutely crucial in any CV he is looking for!

Imagine – your CV is supposed to be your supreme advertisement. This is the document in which you say all the good things you can possibly think of about yourself. Now if you are careless with that, why should you be any more careful with something that has nothing to do with you? And why should he employ someone who will do a sloppy job?

But it's not only that. Sometimes, these minor mistakes show that you are not that good when it comes to written communication. And we are living in an age where communication is vital to the efficient functioning of any company. Imagine if the company told someone to order 10,000 printed circuit boards, and instead he ordered 100,000! Do you think the company would accept his explanation of "Oh, it's just an extra zero"?

So I'm actually with Charlie on this one too. I believe that attention to detail is vitally important - all applicants should check their CVs for any miskate, no matter how minor.

Jerry: Phew! So that's that, then. Man, that must have been a long tirade by Charlie o!

Alex: And he delivered it with the volume knob turned all the way up to ten, too! I know that as Nigerians, we traditionally raise our voices when talking – but sometimes, I think Charlie was raised on an airport runway and he had to learn to raise his voice to be heard above the planes taking off.

Jerry (laughing): Come on, you're just exaggerating! (In a more sombre tone) But I was thinking, sure it would help if applicants could structure their CVs better, but does it really matter if there aren't many jobs out there for them, or if they truly don't have the skills that the companies need?

Alex: Well, this is the thing. Applicants need to be made aware that companies are looking for skills beyond the academic knowledge that you gain in university. Oh sure, there will always be professions requiring specialist knowledge – for example, you would expect that a doctor should have gone to medical school. But really, for many positions, employers would be happy to get a candidate who had the right soft skills like many of the ones I've spoken of earlier.

Jerry: You mean being good at communicating verbally and in writing, doing research, analysing and solving problems, being creative and holding presentations?

Alex: Yeah. There's also the need to have the right attitude – being flexible, hardworking, able and willing to learn new things, disciplined, for example.

Jerry: Hm. I guess that just like any market, when applicants realise that employers are looking for people with these skills in addition to their vocational skills, they'll undertake to develop themselves to get these skills. And even if they don't find a job, they are useful skills to have if they want to set up their own businesses.

Alex: And that's actually a good thing for Nigeria as a whole!
Career / Getting That C.V. Right by Ka: 10:51am On Oct 14, 2006
Why Charlie Agoro Is Being Driven Crazy (part I + II)

This article is in part inspired by my experiences taking part in the recruitment of people for vacant positions in a company in Lagos. Looking at many of the CVs that were submitted, I realised that there was something of a knowledge gap on the part of many applicants - and I thought that I might help to close that gap by writing this. If it helps at least one person to get the job they've been chasing, then that's good enough for me. Otherwise, enjoy.

Alex: Jerry! How are you doing? I haven't seen either you or David for a while now.

Jerry (in an apologetic tone): Sorry, o, no time these days to meet up. The bank is doing an infrastructure rollout and they are killing me with work. I hear David is abroad for a while chasing one deal or other. What of you? How are you keeping?

Alex: I'm well o. Guess who I ran into the other day!

Jerry: Who?

Alex: Charlie Agoro! He's now a big man - he is a manager in the Human Resources department of NDTech.

Jerry: NDTech? The big computer company? He has really landed on his feet o!

Alex: But he wasn't too happy. He was bitterly complaining about the quality of applicants that he routinely had to deal with when recruiting for positions in his company.

Jerry: Really? What did he say?

Alex: He said that his very first complaint was that when he advertised for positions, he would get flooded with emails in response,

Jerry: So what's wrong with that? You advertise for positions - you get responses.

Alex: Ah-ah! Let me finish now. He says that the e-mail he gets have no information on which position the applicant is applying for. His words, "My company advertises many positions. How the hell am I supposed to know which position the applicant is responding to if there is no information about this in the email? And if I don't know, how can I know how to process their application?" So it would make his life so much easier if applicants stated clearly which position they were applying for in their e-mails.

Jerry: I see. But that's a small thing to get upset about surely?

Alex: Hohoho. My friend, Charlie was just getting warmed up! He was even more annoyed about how applicants sent their CVs with their e-mails, but never bothered to explain how they were suitable for the job.

Jerry: But that's the whole point of the CV. If he wanted to find that out, he should have looked at what was in the CV.

Alex: Well, the way he described it, it isn't as easy as you make it sound. He was telling me of an instance where his company were looking for an accounts assistant. In the advertisement, they stated that they wanted somebody who had a good head for figures. Of course they got plenty of CVs which did the usual thing of listing academic and work experience. However, this meant that he had to open every single CV and trawl through it for the parts that were relevant to the advertised position before he could decide whether the applicant was suitable or not. "And", he said "that is a very tedious, frustrating and irritating task".

However, there was one smart applicant amongst the lot. In her email, she mentioned specific sections in her CV which showed that she had worked in a position where she had to do a lot of ledger account maintenance, and as a result, she had become very good at checking figures.

This meant that all Charlie had to do to make a judgement was to go to those sections in the CV that she had pointed out. It made life so much easier for him, and she ended up getting shortlisted for the interview. Charlie said "I wish all other applicants would similarly state in their e-mails how the skills and experience listed in their CV showed that they had the attributes that we were looking for in the advertised position".

Jerry: Hm, I see his point now. So really, what he's just saying is that the CVs of most applicants are all right, it's just that the applicants need to pay more attention to the e-mail that they send along with the CV.

(Alex bursts into laughter.)

Alex: You know what's funny? That's what I said - that the CVs of most applicants were all right. That just set Charlie off on a long rant!

Jerry (confused): How?

Alex: He said that I obviously hadn't seen many CVs sent by job applicants recently. Then he said "Imagine that you had to read a book where there were no paragraphs and everything was just one loooooong solid block of text. How easy would you find it?"

I said it would be difficult. "Then how can you tell me that CVs of most applicants are all right", he shouted "when they just merge the sections of their CV without putting white space to help me determine which section is which? Sometimes after reading ten of those CVs, I feel like a man who has drunk 90% proof ogogoro! It's even worse when the contents are not properly tabulated so that dates of work or academic experience meander all over the page".

Jerry: I don't quite get what Charlie means by meandering dates.

(Alex brings out a sheet of paper from a bag he is carrying, and sketches something out.)

Alex: See, this is what Charlie is complaining about:

June 2003 - date: Supervisor at Ogoni Bakery
October 2002 - May 2003: Office Manager at Maxwell's Chambers
November 2000 - October 2002: Assistant Manager at J and O Sons. Ltd.


Whereas this is what he would like (he sketches some more):

June 2003 - date: Supervisor at Ogoni Bakery
October 2002 - May 2003: Office Manager at Maxwell's Chambers
November 2000 - October 2002: Assistant Manager at J and O Sons. Ltd.


Notice how the employment positions are now vertically aligned?

Jerry: I see your point now. Not only would the CV would definitely be a lot easier to read if the sections and the section headers were separated from each other by white space, but it is a lot easier to read when the dates and other labels are well tabulated.

Alex: Exactly. But he didn't stop there. He also complained some applicants went completely overboard when using word processing software to create their CVs. It was like their CVs were the equivalent of, you remember that fashion disaster that you, I and David saw walking down the street the other day?

Jerry (smiling): The one who was wearing a bright red pair of trousers, a yellow shirt, a lime green and pink checked jacket, an electric blue tie and a purple pair of shoes topped off with an orange cap?

Alex: That's the one! Charlie said that is exactly how some of those CVs are. One font for the heading, one font for the name, one font for the address, one font for the profile, and all the fonts in different sizes and weights! The poor man said that he needed to have paracetamol and ibuprofen nearby after reading some of those CVs.

Jerry (laughing): So what would he prefer, then?

Alex: He went all philosophical when I asked him, and said "there is beauty in simplicity". He said that one font family - something serious like Times New Roman or Verdana - should be enough for any CV. He said that it's all right to increase the size of the font for section headings, or the boldness of the font for words that needed to be highlighted. But he said that whichever fonts were selected, they should serve mainly to direct his eyes to the important parts of the CV and not confuse him over its content.

Jerry: OK, so the format of the CVs that Charlie reads isn't great. But that's surely a case of elevating style over substance?

Alex: Well, according to Charlie, there's even no substance to elevate the style over!

Jerry: Huh?

Alex: He said that what most applicants put in their CVs would never land them a job.

Jerry: Why?

And I'll have to stop here, as this is a bit much already for a single article. I'll publish part II in a few days.
Politics / Re: Why Is Nigeria Not Working? by Ka: 12:15am On Oct 13, 2006
In our daily lives, there are things that we can largely control, and things that are largely outside our control (which I'll refer to here as externalities).

However, we hope that these externalities do not impede our pursuit of happiness on this earth.

Unfortunately, in Nigeria, externalities DO impede our pursuit. For example, a person would like to get from A to B in a short time, but the poor state of roads and the chaotic state of transport (outside his control to do much about) mean that his hopes are not met, and he is not has happy as he could have been.

So why is this so? How is it that many of the things that an average individual can do little to change are in such a state that they hinder his pursuit of happiness?

I'd say that the blame should lie primarily with those people who have the most power to change these things, i.e. the leaders of Nigeria.

But how did the leaders end up with the personality traits and the lack of skills that render them unfit to change the way things are? Well, they must have adopted SOME of their personality traits from the culture they grew up in (like the conservative attitude towards change; the undue deference to elders that quashes good ideas; the lack of a scientific approach in their thinking; the need to be seen as powerful and wealthy which leads some to acquire more wealth than they are legally entitled to. . . you get the picture.)

In addition, the educational system in Nigeria does not properly equip students of today to be good leaders of tomorrow.

So how did this culture develop? And how did the educational system become so inadequate?

Well, poverty is a factor - the poorer people in a society are, the more likely they are to defer to powerful and wealthy people (and to aspire to be wealthy, too!). Also, the more likely they are to scorn science in favour of the supernatural in the search for material well being. In the same way, a lack of funding for education means that students do not receive the good quality education they need to be good leaders.

And how come there is this lack of money at a private and public level? Well, it's because there are many externalities that prevent an individual from reaping rewards for his hard work (like poor law enforcement, weak infrastructure, etc.). The same kinds of externalities mean that government funds are poorly allocated and managed.

But we've already established that when externalities do this, they are a manifestation of NIGERIA NOT WORKING.

So in short, Nigeria does not work because Nigeria does not work.

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Business / Re: Why Do International Investors Always Compare Naija With Small African Countries by Ka: 11:42pm On Oct 12, 2006
Nigeria should be compared with the big countries in Africa like South Africa, Egypt, Lybia or Algeria and not with "minnows" like Kenya, Mozambique or Malawi or whatever!

Oh?

In terms of GDP, you would have a point. . . but you also have to consider per capita income (which is a rough measure of average income) as well - and Nigeria's per capita income (at 1,188 USD in 2005) is NOWHERE near the per capita incomes of South Africa (11,035), Egypt (4,282) or Algeria ($7,095). I don't really consider Libya a developed country, since their revenue source is not diversified like Egypt's or South Africa. (Source)

And then when you start looking at other indices, like mortality rates, infrastructural development, literacy rates, etc. it becomes clear that Nigeria is a long way off from being bracketed with the likes of Egypt and South Africa.
Literature / Re: Do Nigerians Read? by Ka: 1:27pm On Oct 11, 2006
Orikinla,

You completely missed the point of my post.

Let me put it another way:

If there was another way of absorbing the information that was posted on Nairaland (i.e. by routing the information directly into your brain), would there be any point in reading?

Face it - reading is simply a means to an end. It's good to read - but it's more important to have an interest in gaining knowledge (which motivates you to read, anyway).
Literature / Re: Do Nigerians Read? by Ka: 11:00am On Oct 11, 2006
What's the purpose of reading? To gain information.

So if there are other ways of gaining information, why bother reading?
Literature / Re: Story: The Kalakala Khronikles by Ka: 11:26pm On Oct 07, 2006
OK, here's part four. However, because I'm busy on other projects, there may be a longer delay before you see part five. But if there's enough interest, there WILL be a part five.

Remember also that you can influence the direction of the story. If you have any questions about what I've written, or you want to see more of a particular character, please say.

In the meantime - enjoy!



(It is the next day, and we hear the sound of staccato typing in an office. Looking closer, we see a bored young girl tapping away at an ancient typewriter in a desultory manner. Her demeanour is perfectly reflected in the threadbare appearance of the office which is sparsely furnished with two bare wooden tables and chairs, a rickety bookshelf and a well worn linoleum floor covering. To complete the scene, a ceiling fan creaks nonchalantly round and round above the girl.

Presently, the door to the office opens ever so slightly and Niyi's head pokes through cautiously. He gestures to the girl and raises his eyebrows as though asking a question. The girl responds by shrugging and shaking her head. On seeing this, Niyi visibly relaxes, saunters through the room to the unoccupied chair and collapses into it.)


The Girl (without looking up from her typing): You are late.

Niyi (heartily): Ngozi, ah-ah come on now! You know how traffic is in this place. . . and I'm not that late, anyway!

Ngozi: You are late by more than thirty minutes.

Niyi (slightly irritated): OK, so I'm late by thirty minutes, Mrs. Headmistress! But today is a special case.

Ngozi (turning to face him): You are late by more than thirty minutes for the third time this week!

(Niyi works his mouth into readiness for a biting retort, but changes his mind and forces a smile out of it instead.)

Niyi: OK, I am guilty as charged! (Raises his hands as if in surrender.) What is my sentence? Will a fine of three meat pies, two doughnuts and a drink be enough?

(Ngozi gives him a long stare before responding with a scornful burst of laughter.)

Ngozi: You? When you are always complaining of not having enough money for transport, you want to buy meat pies? Abeg, please don't make me laugh!

(Niyi looks at her for a while, and then clears his throat.)

Niyi: OK, Ngozi, I need a favour from you.

Ngozi: Of course you need a favour. That's why you are trying to do Mr. Nice-Nice.

Niyi (trying to keep his voice level): I have this very important phone call to make, and unfortunately I have run out of credit on my GSM. I was wondering. . .

Ngozi (mimicking Niyi's voice): ". . .if you could let me have the keys to Mr. Sanusi's office so that I can quickly make a phone call". (returns to her own voice) Abi isn't that what you want?

Niyi (embarrassed): Actually. . . yes, that's what I was going to ask for.

Ngozi (suddenly smiling): No problem. I've opened the door already. You can go straight in if you wish.

Niyi (gratefully): Thanks, Ngozi!

(Niyi gets up, walks to the door of the office, opens it and walks in. Mr. Sanusi, an elderly man with greying hair looks up from reading some papers on his desk, startled by the sudden entry. As for Niyi, it is all he can do to stop himself from visibly recoiling in shock as the last thing he is expecting to see is Mr. Sanusi in his office.)

Mr. Sanusi (with irritation): Niyi, how can you just come barging into my office like this? Have I not told you before to knock on my office before entering?

Niyi (stammering): S-s-sorry sir, I didn't know you were. . . I mean, I had to tell you something urgent, and in my haste I forgot to knock.

Mr. Sanusi (still irritated, folding his arms and staring at Niyi): OK, what is it?

Niyi: Errm. . . I just wanted to keep you up-to-date on my progress in preparing the financial statement for Dungse and Sons. I've completed the trial balance of the books, but there were a few figures that didn't balance. I just need some more information from the company – I will be contacting them today, in fact.

Mr. Sanusi (incredulously): What are you talking about? Didn't I tell you last week to stop working on that account, because Chief Dungse had realised that there were some expenses that he had not accounted for? Or were you sleeping as usual when I was talking.

(Niyi shifts from foot to foot uncomfortably.)

Mr. Sanusi: Sometimes, I wonder what the matter is with young people like you these days. Do you know that when I was building this company up, I had to work for ninety-six hours every week – and I still had time to remember the details of ALL the accounts I had to manage!

But anyway, by coincidence, I was thinking of the Dungse account just now, because the chief just rang to let me know that the documentary evidence for these expenses is ready. Usually, I would have sent Sunday here (gestures to a young man standing quietly in a corner of the office) to pick them up. . . but you seem so keen on finishing the account that I will give this assignment to you. (Smiles mirthlessly.) You know where the place is. . .

Niyi (thinking unhappily): Yes – the other side of town, where I will have to cross some of the worst traffic jams in Lagos to get to.

Mr. Sanusi: I expect to have the documents collected and the trial balance completed today. That's all for now. (As Niyi turns to go, Mr. Sanusi interrupts him.) By the way Niyi, if you choose to lie, choose your lies well. You haven't actually done any work on the trial balance – I know, because I was looking at the document while talking to the chief this morning. Anyway, that's no problem, because you will have finished today. Have a pleasant morning, and shut my door on your way out.

(Niyi shuffles out of the office dejectedly. Once in the main office, he turns furiously on Ngozi.)

Niyi: You are a wicked, lying evil witch! You knew that Mr. Sanusi was in the office, and yet you told me he had not arrived!

Ngozi (innocently): I don't what you're talking about. I thought you were playing a game making gestures and faces through the door, so I decided to join your game and respond with my own gestures and faces. So you misread my gestures? Sorry o! (Bursts into laughter.)

Niyi: I don't have the time to deal with you now. I'm going all the way to Otta. But enjoy your laughter now. . . because when I get back, you will see the naked redness of my eyes! (And with that, Niyi storms out of the office.)
Business / Re: Why Do International Investors Always Compare Naija With Small African Countries by Ka: 11:54pm On Oct 05, 2006
So which countries should Nigeria be compared with, then?
Literature / Re: Story: The Kalakala Khronikles by Ka: 7:24pm On Oct 03, 2006
Chiluv2nv,

Thanks for the compliment. Now let's answer some of those questions of yours:

- Where did I get the story from? My head, of course.

- Why haven't I made my email address available? Well, I haven't thought it necessary, because anyone can post their responses to the story on the board. But if anyone feels they need to comment privately, I can be reached at kalakhroni at yahoo dot com.



Anyone else who's still reading,

Thanks for sticking around. I think there'll be a change of scene in the next instalment. After all, there's only so much of Niyi's flat we can take in this story - it's not 'Waiting for Godot', after all!

Cheers,

Ka
Literature / Re: Story: The Kalakala Khronikles by Ka: 10:54am On Oct 01, 2006
OK, here's the third instalment. Enjoy.



(For a hour after Durukonko has left, Niyi paces up and down the flat in an agitated manner with his head in his hands, thinking over what he has just been told.)

Niyi (furiously conversing with himself in an undertone): Should I really go for this? How do I know it isn't a con? After all, this is how con men operate – they promise you gold, and then they ask you to part with some cash. But he hasn't asked me to part with cash yet – in fact he has OFFERED me money. So perhaps it is not a con. But wait – he is just OFFERING me money, he hasn't actually GIVEN me anything yet. And this so called 'test' self. . . maybe there is even no test. Maybe it is a trick to get me to carry drugs, or to take part in a robbery or even an assassination. But wait again o – why would he approach ME if he was looking for an assassin? Are there not enough of those types under the bridge? No – he must have approached me because he could easily perceive that I was a person of distinction. After all, he himself appears to be a cultured and mannered person. That may be it. . .

(Niyi's thoughts oscillate wildly in this manner, and he is so caught up in them that he doesn't hear a creak as the door opens, and a slim, neatly dressed young man enters. Tamuno – for it is he – stops, startled to see his friend pacing around and muttering to himself. At first, he wonders if he should call out his name, but he thinks the better of it. Instead he decides to lightly tap Niyi on his shoulder to gently bring him out of the depths of his thoughts. Unfortunately this has a completely opposite effect from what he intended. . .)

Niyi: AAAARGGH!!! (He jumps up, turns round and sees it is Tamuno.) Haba! What is your problem? Do you want to kill me?

Tamuno: Sorry o! I didn't want to startle you by calling out your name. What's the problem? You look like you have to make a difficult decision.

Niyi (sighing): Yes o. I had a very strange visit this evening. . .  a man called Karimu Dukudonko came round with a strange proposal. (Niyi proceeds to recount the evening's earlier experience to Tamuno.)

Tamuno: Hmm. . .  something about the whole story doesn't sound right. Are you sure this really happened, and you aren't confusing your dreams with reality? (Takes a look at the expression on Niyi's face and hurriedly continues.) All right, it really DID happen – but it still sounds funny to me.

For one thing, the device OBVIOUSLY couldn't have been developed in this country – we simply don't have the technological know how. And the way this Dukoloko guy was dressed sounds very un-Nigerian to me. So why don't they look for someone in their OWN country to test it on? Why come all the way here?

Also, how come he didn't bring the device with him to demonstrate? If he really wanted you to take part in its testing, he should have brought it down to show it to you.

Niyi: So are you saying that I should turn down the offer? And pass up the opportunity of making one hundred thousand naira?

Tamuno: No-o, I didn't say that. I'm just saying that there are all these unanswered questions.

Niyi: And that means I should do what?

Tamuno: Well, I don't know. . .  it's your decision to make,  but if it were me, with all these questions unanswered, I wouldn't proceed.

Niyi: But I can still call him and put these questions to him, not so?

Tamuno: I still don't know. . .  I'm sure he will give you a 'sweet' answer that will satisfy you – but when it comes to testing new things that have not been tried on anyone else. . .  me – I don't take risks with my health. What if it causes you to fall ill? Or worse still, you end up developing strange behaviour like that Mr. Alioha who lives just down the road?

Niyi (quickly): Abeg, shut up there! God will not let me end up like Mr. Alioha.

Tamuno: But God expects you not to take unnecessary risks like submitting your body to strange tests just for the sake of a few coins.

Niyi (all of a sudden very suspicious): Hold on! How do I know that YOU YOURSELF are not targeting that 100k, and that once I have rung this Dokonkudu man to decline his offer, you will not suddenly sneak in like Judas and volunteer yourself?

Tamuno (sighs): You have come again with your paranoia. How can I ring him when I don't even know his number?

Niyi: You? I know that you are devious enough to get it from me if you want.

Tamuno (wearily): OK, do what you want. I know you don't respect anything I say because circumstances have reduced me to the status of squatter in your flat. I don't even know why I bothered wasting my energy to give you my opinion. I'm sure you would pay more attention to Julie or those friends of yours that are always discussing those strange money-making schemes.

Niyi: Ah-ah, why are you angry all of a sudden? OK, I was only joking. If I say that you are smart enough to take money from me from under my nose, you should see it as a compliment, now. (In a hearty voice) After all, someone who is smarter than me must be very smart indeed!

Tamuno (smiling): You're not serious. This your arrogance is too much! Anyway, I've given my advice,  as I said, do what you want. Me, I'm hungry and I want to get some food to eat. (Heads towards his room, then suddenly stops.) Hold on – talking about food, this Dogonyaro man, was he the one that was guilty of the crime that you were blaming on me?

Niyi: What crime?

Tamuno (exclaiming): What crime? WHAT CRIME? Are you just pretending, or have you really forgotten about how you were calling for the heavens to descend because according to you, I had eaten the food that Julie prepared for you?

Niyi: Oh yes, I'd forgotten. Yes, the man did eat the food.

(Tamuno turns his head towards Niyi and cups his hand around his ear as though listening intently for something. After a few moments in this pose, he turns away shaking his head.)

Tamuno (in mock puzzlement): Hm. . .  I'm sure that after all those accusations had been proven false I should have heard the word 'Sorry' there, but no - I didn't hear anything. Let me try again. (He moves to resume his pose, but Niyi waves him off.)

Niyi: OK, OK, ah-ah! SOOOOORRRRRY!!!!! Can you hear it now, in crystal clear FM? SOOOOORRRRRY!!!!!

Tamuno (still in mock puzzlement): No, I still can't hear anything. (He moves his ear right up to Niyi's mouth, but Niyi pushes him off.)

Niyi (laughing): I think the lack of food in your stomach is affecting your hearing. Go and eat. I will consider your advice, but I still want to talk to Julie and the Cool Cash Collective before making my mind up.

Tamuno: Yes, do that. Let me know what happens, and good luck, whatever you decide!
Literature / Re: Story: The Kalakala Khronikles by Ka: 11:28pm On Sep 26, 2006
Hi Uzy,

Thanks. I don't have all the details of the story in my head at once - I flirt around with different alternatives before coming up with the next instalment, so even *I* can't say for sure what you'll be reading next. But you should see something in less than a week's time - stay tuned!
Literature / Re: Story: The Kalakala Khronikles by Ka: 8:10pm On Sep 25, 2006
Hi Orikinla,

Thanks for the compliment.

Why don't I make it prose? I guess drama has always appealed to me because of its directness - I find prose a bit too wordy, with all the descriptions, etc.
TV/Movies / Re: Sitcom Vs Soap Opera Vs TV Drama? by Ka: 8:07pm On Sep 25, 2006
Have you considered a hybrid approach?

For example, you might have a drama/sitcom which is aired in self-containing episodes, but which have a running theme to them. This way, you can still enjoy the drama/sitcom even though you've just joined in, and you get hooked because of the long running themes.
Literature / Re: Story: The Kalakala Khronikles by Ka: 10:09pm On Sep 24, 2006
OK all, thanks for patiently waiting. Here's the next part of the story. Enjoy!



(Out of the shadows of the cupboard, a lean wiry man emerges. He is clothed from head to toe in black – black cap, black shirt, black gloves, black jeans and black boots. He has a very relaxed expression on his face, as though it could break out into a smile at any moment.)

The Figure: Hello, Niyi. It's good to meet you in person. My name is. . .  well, let's just say that my name is Kamara Durukonko.

Niyi (still shocked): How did you get in, and how long have you been here for?

Durukonko: I completely understand your. . .  surprise at seeing me in here. But trust me, I mean you no harm. I had to see you here, but I only had to shake the door lightly and it opened up. You really should get your landlord to replace that lock, you know.

Niyi: So what are you doing here? I take it that it was you that ate the food in the fridge, then. I should call the police!

Durukonko (with a wry smile): Yes, it was me that ate the very delicious meal – I do apologise for my bad manners, and I promise that you will be fully compensated. But come on, you know you don't want to call the police. For one thing, I'd be long gone before they got here. For another, you'd be lucky to get away with just being charged for wasting their time. I think it would be better for you to hear me out first before rushing off to do anything rash.

Niyi: Just say what you want to say and stop beating about the bird in the bush.

Durukonko (still smiling): You mean "beating about the bush". Anyway, I was coming to that. How would you like to make a cool hundred thousand naira?

(There is a war in Niyi's mind as the forces of Greed for Durukonko's money fight a bitter battle with the forces of Anger over Durukonko's intrusion. Durukonko perceives this and moves to press his advantage.

Durukonko: At least I can see that you aren't just going to dismiss my proposal out of hand. Let me fill you in on the details.
I represent an. . .   er. . .   organisation which has been carrying out research into the human physiology. This organisation is particularly interested in ways in which the human physiology can be extended, so it's been doing some research into this, and it's looking for willing and suitable volunteers to test the results of its research.

In particular, the organisation has developed a device which gives a human user psychokinetic abilities. In other words, by focusing his thoughts, he is able to cause objects to move in certain ways. So far, limited laboratory trials have shown the device to be successful, but it now wants further tests to be carried out using suitable subjects. We've been looking around, and we feel that you'd be an ideal candidate.

(Niyi gives Durukonko a long hard suspicious stare.)

Niyi: Oh thank you very much Mr-Kamala-Dudukoko-or-whatever-you-call-yourself for this wonderful news. It is not everyday I have the honour of someone breaking into my flat to propose that I be a guinea-pig for whatever dubious experiments they want to perform. I suppose I should now grovel at your feet offering my everlasting gratitude, right?

(Durukonko bursts into good-natured laughter.)

Durukonko: You know, you can be quite funny in a sarcastic kind of way. But I'll deal with your suspicions. First of all, yes – you will be helping the organisation to test this device, but as I've said you'll be paid for it. There's nothing strange or unusual about that – any organisation that is involved in scientific research does need to test its products at some stage. And no, I'm not expecting that you should be grateful, but you can be sure that by agreeing to take part in this research, you are helping to achieve a laudable goal.

Niyi: (still suspiciously): I'm not convinced yet. Why me? Why have you gone to the trouble to break into MY flat? I'm sure there are many jobless people who you could have picked who wouldn't have asked you any questions if you offered them what you're offering me.

Durukonko: I did say that we were looking for SUITABLE candidates, so we couldn't just pick anyone. First of all, we need people who are educated enough to follow the instructions that we will give you as part of the testing program. In addition, we need people who fit a particular profile, and your profile proved to be ideal.

Niyi: But how did you get all this information about me? Have you been spying on me or what?

Durukonko: Don't you remember? A while ago, you filled in an online survey asking for various details of yourself and promising you the opportunity to win a sizeable amount of money.

(Niyi thinks for a while, then exclaims.)

Niyi: But that was a long time ago! And when nothing happened, I just assumed it was another 419 scam.

Durukonko (smiling): Well, you can see that contrary to the proverb, not all that glitters is NOT gold.

Niyi: I still don't understand – why didn't you just ring me and let me know you would be coming?

Durukonko (laughing again): Questions, questions, questions! Well, you DID provide a number, but I tried that and I didn't get through. Luckily for me, you provided your address in the survey. (Brings out a sheet of paper and shows Niyi.) That was the number.

Niyi (thinks awhile, and then remembers.) Oh, that was my old line – I think it was taken out of service because I hadn't used it in a while. (He flops back down on the chair, with his head in his hands.)

Durukonko: Look, I know this is a bit of a surprise, and I realise you need some time to think about it. So take your time. Here's my number – if you reach a decision, let me know. I'll take your number while I'm at it – just write it down on that sheet.

(Niyi writes down his number and hands it over to Durukonko.)

Durukonko (beaming): Excellent! Well I'll be on my way now. Do get in touch – you won't regret it. Cheerio! (And with a swift movement, he is out of the door before Niyi can say another word.)
Family / Re: Parents: Is It Time To Spare The Rod? by Ka: 8:25pm On Sep 23, 2006
I was just looking at some of those non-violent punishment methods on Wikipedia.

So what happens if:

Time-outs
You want tell the naughty child "time out", and he disregards your time out by running away from the designated time-out space?

Distraction
You try to distract the child but he continues to be disruptive?

Reason
The child is not at an age where he can clearly understand your reasoning (i.e. 12-24 months), or he doesn't want to listen?

Consequences
The child wants to put his hand in fire?

Modelling
The child simply ignores the example you're trying to set?

Scolding
The child doesn't care - after all, he's receiving attention?

Face it - sometimes, Mr. Koboko needs to get involved.
Nairaland / General / Re: First Nigerian To Experience Space: Stella Felix, 17 by Ka: 1:03am On Sep 22, 2006
Truly, I don't see what the fuss is.

If this girl had striven and got to go into space by her own efforts, I'd be applauding.

But that's not the case - she was PICKED - and not by a Nigerian space program either.

To me it smacks of "Oh, let's pity these poor Africans who have never smelt space and invite one of them to have a faint idea of what it's like".

Oh well, you gotta take your heroes where you can find 'em . . .
Programming / Re: Going Into Programming by Ka: 12:57am On Sep 22, 2006
I don't understand how people advise others to start learning Java or C++. I think its stupid really.

Why?

I think C++ is a good language to start learning. You get to learn all sorts of programming concepts - like conditional statements, loops, variable, functions, parameters, classes, inheritance, polymorphism and templates. Of course, you can question whether someone new to programming will be able to take all that in - but the idea is to introduce the simpler concepts first, and the more complex ones later on.

Of course, if you want to learn a language that will make you lots of money, that's another story altogether. . .
Literature / Re: Story: The Kalakala Khronikles by Ka: 12:58am On Sep 20, 2006
All,

Thanks for the feedback - you've just ensured that the second part will be on the board sometime this weekend.



Prof Ade,

Noooo, Niyi isn't 'schizo' - He's just very, very angry, that's all. The only thing holding him together is the love he has for his darling Julie. smiley
Literature / Story: The Kalakala Khronikles by Ka: 12:43am On Sep 19, 2006
I've had this idea for a story rattling around in my head for a while, and now that I've found a bit of spare time, I've decided to put it down in bits and bytes. I intend to freewheel with this for as long as three conditions are met:

1. I'm still interested in carrying on;

2. You're still interested in me carrying on;

3. The Admin is still interested in me carrying on (very important, as it negates 1 and 2). smiley

But this isn't a spectator sport, if at any stage of the story, you feel it's going awry, feel free to jump in with your own suggestions as to how it should go. Heck - if I like your suggestion, I'll incorporate it into the story!

Oh, before I start, a word about the title. The spelling of 'Khronikles' is really that - 'Khronikles' - not 'Chronicles', as some of the more literate of you might think.

OK, without further ado, let's get going!



(It is night. Or evening. Or even day – it is hard to tell, because all is darkness. A few creaks here, a rustle there, an indeterminate noise that could be anything – but all we can hear is the sound of silence.

Then what's this? the faint sound of jangling keys coming from where? Outside a room, outside this room of darkness. The jangling stops, and the sound of a key being inserted into a lock follows. The key rattles around in the lock for a while, and then there is a brief silence, followed by indistinct muttering. After another brief silence, the key rattles again, louder, longer, angrier and more insistent than before.

There is just the briefest of silences before we are startled by an angry shout, followed by a much more audible volley of cursing. The key plunges back in the lock again, and this time the rattling takes place to a background sound of a door violently shaking on its hinges. The rattling and shaking builds up to a crescendo and suddenly the door flies open and slams against a wall. An angry dishevelled young man storms in and narrowly manages to avoid hitting the door ricocheting off the wall. He flicks on the light, stomps his way to the middle of the room and stands there, heaving and sweating. Then he starts shouting again.)


Angry Man: Bloody lock! I've been telling this stupid landlord to change the thing for several months now. Either he wants me to be locked out so that he can replace me with a tenant that will bow to his exploitative whims, or he wants me to be locked in until I bow to his exploitative whims! Well, I'll show him – the next time he comes round asking for his rent, I will tell him to wait in here while I go and buy some refreshment for him for him. Then I will lock the door from outside and make a show of not being able to open it. That will teach him!

(The man starts cackling with high-pitched laughter, but suddenly stops and glances this way and that as though searching out for hidden spies. Then he starts up again.)

I don't know why the world is so full of all these big men trying to make my life difficult. Look at Mr. Sanusi for example. Every time when I'm having a short rest in between periods of working my behind off trying to keep his miserable company afloat, he always chooses that particular time to appear and start preaching his useless sermons. Sermons like (mimics Mr. Sanusi's voice) "I Worked Ninety Six Hours Every Week To Make This Company What It Is Today" or "I Cannot Afford To Keep Deadwood In This Company" or "An Employee Sleeping During Work Hours Portrays The Company In A Bad Light". (Chuckles to himself, and then gets angry once more.)

The fool doesn't even know that I'm doing him a favour – a man with my talents and abilities could easily get work elsewhere. Just like that! (Snaps fingers.) I don't even know why I'm still with him. In fact, I must start looking for a new job tomorrow. Yes, when I get my new job, I won't even tell him. I will just stroll into the office at any old hour, and if he asks me a stupid question like "Why are you coming in at 12 noon?" I will tell him "Because I feel like it". (Smiles to himself.) Yes, I'll go over to his desk, push him out of his chair, sit in it and put my legs on his table.

I'm sure the power-drunk fool will want to start some bluster about "gross misconduct" and "disciplinary procedure", but I won't even give him the chance. I'll just get up, poke my finger in his face and tell him "Sanusi, I'm tired of having to put up with your mediocrity, your idiocy and your pomposity. I QUIT!" And I'll stroll out, leaving him gaping in disbelief. Oh yeah!

But why am I even wasting my time on him? After all, I'm NOT at work now. Just because he thinks he owns my body does not mean that he must own my mind. Talking about my body, wow – I'm hungry o! Thank God my darling Julie has left some food for me in the fridge. Ah – Julie and her fantastic, delicious vegetable stew.

(Our angry young man licks his lips, and his stomach rumbles in agreement. Then he goes over to a fridge by a corner, opens it and peers inside. Then he gives a shout of anger.)

What Where is the food that was here when I left this morning? The fufu I was going to eat, and Julie's vegetable stew. All gone! (Screams.) Gone!! (Paces up and down, then scratches his head.) Only one person could have done this, I'm going to make sure he sees the redness of my eyes today. (He fidgets in his pocket and brings out a mobile phone and dials a number.) Hello? Is this Tamuno?

Tamuno (to the sounds of noisy traffic): Niyi! Ah, how're you doing?

Niyi: Don't "how're you doing" me there, you hear? I don't even know how you have the mouth to talk after what you've done.

Tamuno: Done? What have I done? I don't know what you're talking about.

Niyi: Eh? Even after you've done the deed, you are still pretending! Kai! Talk of adding insult to injury.

Tamuno (patiently): Adeniyi, if you could just begin by telling me what I am supposed to have done, then we can get this matter resolved – if not for my sake, then for the sake of your mobile phone airtime.

Niyi: Look – don't try and distract me by talking about my mobile phone airtime! That's a classic tactic of someone with a guilty conscience.

Tamuno (with his patience wearing thin): Look, I'm getting fed up of your drama! In case you don't know, you've called me in while I'm trying to catch a bus to get home, and this is NOT the best time to be dealing with your paranoia. So either you tell me what has got you upset, or I hang up.

Niyi: Oh yes, I'll wait till you get home – then you can explain how my food inside the fridge has suddenly disappeared.

(There is a long silence at the other end. Then Tamuno speaks.)

Tamuno: I cannot believe my ears. (laughs bitterly.) You – Adeniyi Soetan, the Terror of my Cooking Pot, the Plunderer of my Food Store – you are actually accusing ME of taking YOUR food. (laughs again.) Or is this some crafty strategy you are using to justify taking even more food from me when I get back? You know, all you have to do is ask – it's that simple.

Niyi: Hold on – are you actually DENYING taking the food in the fridge?

Tamuno: Deny? DENY?? Of course I deny it! In fact, to say that I deny taking your food from the fridge is like saying that an okada rider only violates the odd minor traffic rule. The fact that I'm squatting in your flat doesn't mean that I'm guilty of every single thing that goes wrong! (Niyi starts to talk, but Tamuno interrupts him.) Look, I've already missed two buses because of this conversation, and I don't want to hang about here till it's dark. Let's talk about your disappearing food when I return, all right? Bye! (Hangs up.)

Niyi: (thinks to himself): See my trouble? When this guy was practically homeless, I agreed to take him in out of the kindness of my heart. And this is how he repays me? By eating my own food? It is well. I think it is time I reminded him that doing someone a favour doesn't mean you're a pushover. (Paces around for a while, and then flops down on a tattered armchair.)

Voice: You're being hard on your friend, you know.

(Niyi springs out of his chair in shock and fright. He lands on the floor, but quickly scrambles to his feet, turning this way and that.)

Niyi: Who - what - where - wh. . . who are you? Who is that?

Voice: I'm not surprised you can't see me. Look this way, that's right, just behind the cupboard, Aha. Now you can see me.

(Indeed, Niyi can see the speaker. But this is one of those rare cases where seeing is NOT believing. . .)
Religion / Re: All Sins Are Equal? by Ka: 8:41pm On Aug 07, 2006
"Yes, in the sense that every single sin in whatever degree they may be in brings eternal damnation."

Then that's it really. All sins are equal. What's the point in talking about 'gravities of sin' when they all carry the same punishment? I might as well not waste my time trying to commit only a 'small' sin when I can knock myself out and kill, steal, rape, lie, steal again, kill again, etc.
Literature / Re: Ayn Rand Books In Nigeria? by Ka: 1:22pm On Aug 04, 2006
I've read both books.

I agree with quite a few of her ideas (like the way she celebrates the productive individual). However, I think it would have been better for her to write her books as ideological treatises rather than novels. I found the development of her characters very weak - indeed, there are parts where the characters go off on long rants in which they are thinly veiled mouthpieces for Rand's opinions. I found the parts of storyline somewhat unrealistic as well.

I also agree with her that human beings should be self-interested, but I dislike the way she uses the word 'selfish' (which gives the impression that they should look out for themselves with total disregard for others) rather than enlightened self-interest (which is where they look out for their interest while not harming other persons while doing so).

I don't want to get into a critique of her ideology (Objectivism) in detail here, but I think the uncompromising stance that she takes in the book borders on the religious.

But my comments notwithstanding, it's still an engaging read, as long as you read with your skeptic's hat firmly on your head.

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