₦airaland Forum

By this time next year, I will be on a fully funded scholarship doing my MSc in structural Engineering at the University of British Columbia, Canada with a nice work and study package. Amen

Thanks and Happy new year.

aduragbemi44:
complimentof the season 2 u all please i just uploaded my application form, recommendation form and verification of financial status on minerva (McGill university) and it was successful, i didnt upload my high school transcript because there is no checklist for WASSCE result , am i supposed to upload the high school transcripts and waec result together or i shud still chill probably there will be another checklist for uploading waec result .

Compliments of the season.
Can I apply for MSc too? kindly help me with the link.

Richie0974:
Nice....I'm trying to learn REVIT but I've not heard about lumion, what's it for. hurricaneChris

GO to YouTube and type "lumion". you will be left in awe with what you'll see.
Revit is pretty easy to learn shaa

mutter:
Yes you live all your children equally and most parents that are good parents can answer that question truthfully.
The only difference is how you show it.
I have a son that shows allot of affection, he is emotional, liked to hug as a kid, always fussing over me. It is clear that you respond more to such a child than one that is more reserved.
So in such a case the children think you love one more than the other but it`s actually not true.
Also some children can bring more achievements than others. I have a child that needed to work real hard to get an average note. The other kid`s felt I was discriminating because i was more excited when he got a 3 than when they got a 1. But how do you explain to children how much pain the child suffers when he is not doing as well as the others and needs to be motivated.
My last son started talking somewhat late and I was getting really worried. My kid`s can`t understand why I am excited about every new thing he learns.

As a kid I never understood why my mother would go out of her way to entertain my sisters friends when they came visiting. She was always sending my friends home. Now as a mother I understand better. My sister did not have any friends so my mother was trying to encourage the friendship. I had loads of friends that where always around. But then I really believed she did not like me as much.

So you basically love all the children but you show it in different ways.

Will you be my mom? You couldn't have written it any better.

pharmow:
I'm a little surprised there are handful of people that don't know who Deinde Fernandez was. Truly there are many kids on Nairaland. In the 1980s and 90s, years before Dangote, Adenuga and Otedola becomes household names synonymous to wealth in Nigeria. The likes of Deinde Fernandez, Harry Akande and MKO Abiola wealth are the type you pray to God to bless you with. This is a man that held ambassadorial positions in many countries around the world, he was a deputy prime minister in a country outside his country of origin, a very highly diplomatic man respected all over the world, we were told he owned a private island, he owned cars that were owned by the royal family, this man defined poshness and classiness of wealth. With reasons best known to him, he didn't do so much on the home front (Nigeria).

RIP sir

Some info for the indomie generation

We couldn't have known, there was no internet and nairaland then.

Growing up, I always bed wetted every night I slept..It
was only on rare nights that I woke up dry. sometimes I
bed wet, change cloths and bed wet again.
Whenever I tried to feel bad and depressed, mum was
always by my side, she told me of my cousin who bed
wetted till university days.
Fast forward I entered secondary school, I bed wetted on
the first and last day in school. I never tried looking for
peoples trouble so that they wont call me a "bed wetter"
in front of gals during school time.
There were days I will take my last meal in the
afternoon and not take water again, yet I still wake up
drenched in my own urine. I didn't know what was
wrong. I prayed everyday for God to help me to stop.
why was it me? even my brother who is 5 years younger
than me doesn't wet the bed.
This contributed a lot to keeping me from many
interactions back then in school. The height was in my
ss2 when our hostel captain brought us out before the
whole campus i.e the "bedwetting gang" so that they
could pray for us. I died severally standing there in front
of my juniors.
He didn't understand what people that bedwet pass
through, so he thought he could make fun of us. I have
forgiven him long ago.
If you still bedwet or you know someone who does, don't
be harsh on them and ignore people that try telling
down on you.
"Na who wear shoe know where e dey pain am pass"
I cant really say the actual date I stopped waking up
from my own ocean of urine, I woke up one day and
realised that its been a while since It stopped.

...

#Day21 22/06/2015

Yesterday we were good to go but today we will go, today we will be going and today we will leave.

Rumours had it that by 2am we will all be chased out of the hostel. I didn't feel how short the night was because today was the day we've been looking forward to, the day our shackles will be loosened.

I woke up around 3am and almost every other person in the room had already taken their bath and was #GoodToGo. Where they were rushing to go is what I didn't know.

I have so much been preoccupied with leaving camp that I had taken less time to appreciate each and everyone of the wonderful people I had as roommates irrespective of their various tribes and religion. As the morning unfolded gradually, one by one people were taking their boxes to places where it will be safe. Where it will be faraway from the locals whom we were told will storm our hostel once we leave or worse, while we were still inside. The one room that has been my home for the past 20days was now turning into a deserted place.

Because we were guys or maybe because we were ignorant, we didn't know it was goodbye for some of us or maybe we knew and we didn't want to voice it out. We wanted to act strong.

There was no bugle today, that sound that resonates from the pits of hell. In a way I longed to hear it, even if it was just for the last time.
Outside was calm, everybody now carried their luggage with them, the excitement wasn't that much on peoples faces as it used to be.
For the first time, we woke up and went about freely even to the Mami-market. I had my last chaw of Indomie.

We later went to the parade ground for our last parade. Our passing out parade from camp. Yours sincerely has never been among the people in parade. I wasn't even interested to know if it was the governor or his representative that was there taking salute.
In a way, I sensed it. The Goodbye. It was goodbye Platoon 8 but it was even harder to come to terms with that fact.

The real scramble for Africa begun after the governor left. Everybody now ran to places where they would pick up their posting letter.

The camp that has been one well organized arena, all of a sudden turned into one rowdy and and haphazard place.

I saw my university friend, he was posted to Burutu. He wasn't smiling. Rumour had it that it was an interior village that was very lucky to not witness civilization. Some people even said if you walked around the village, you might even see some dinosaur footprints. I just shaked him and kept my remaining questions to myself.
I later found my own stand, the place where I will get my own letter. People were scared, some others weren't. Me I didn't even know why my heart wasn't beating.
Why wasn't I scared?

I stood there and waited for it to get to my turn, the man shouted 4016, 4017, jumped my number that was 4018 and continued with 4019. This was when my heart started beating faster than usual. This kind of stuff happened during registration and here it was again repeating itself.

Why me?

Well, it wasn't just me. There were a number of us who you can possibly tag as problem candidates. We were now asked to put down our names on paper and wait. Other people were now getting their letters, some were happy and some others were sad. Some has been jobbed.

After a while a man walked out of the office and motioned us to follow him. He was with our list and my heartbeat could now be heard from 1Km away. I showed him my Id card when he shouted 4018, then I looked at it. I was posted to a seminary school in Effurun Warri. What was I going to be doing in that kind of school. Me that have been praying to be posted to a girls college. Can you help me and imagine.

I walked away with my letter to the place where the NACC bus parked. It got filled after sometime and we left.

It was goodbye Issele-Uku, goodbye Asaba.

Would you believe me if I said I didn't want to leave camp. Bonds were easier to make and much more tougher to disintegrate.
That picture was when our bus spoilt along Sapele road, the fan belt just tore into two while the bus was still in motion. Thank heavens that the driver noticed it on time. We passed an accident scene later, unknown to us, it was a Hilux from our camp that had two soldiers and two corpers in it. It collided with a heavy duty tanker. It was later in the evening that we learnt one of the girls died and one of the soldiers was in coma..
Journey well fellow Ajuwaya and quick recovery to you gallant soldier.

The journey was longer than I had envisaged. 2hrs plus and we weren't yet in Warri.
Warri biko olee ebe ino?

We got to the NACC house at smart street Effurun Warri as the sun was about hiding itself beyond the horizon. Oh! I don't like this place.
There were other corpers of previous batches there too, we were welcomed.
These house had plenty rules, but obedient I must become. The mosquitoes here look well fed, our blood was still fresh so if I was a mosquito, believe me it will be very easy to spot out leftovers from newly arrivals.

Today is day 21/21, the last day of camp. The last update of #CampExperience.
For those of us that have been with me since #Day01, thank you. For those of us that have been encouraging me, thank you. For those of us that have also been ghost followers and ghost readers, thank you too. Its been a long and exciting 21days. Its been wonderful, its been hell and its been awesome.

Disclaimer: For those of us who are yet to serve that have been with me in this journey. Please don't base your camp expectations on my own experience. Camp is both hell and also heaven. It will be what you want it to be. Thank you again.

#NYSC #CampExperience #LastDayOfCamp

"..The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other . And maybe each time we've been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come"..

#‎Day20‬ #21/06/2015

Sunday again. It was one day. The sleep was now getting better and better. Freedom was just a day away.
No bugle, no nothing. It was just sleep, more sleep and then church.

That woman in the kitchen has still refused to change. How? Why? Shey from tomorrow she can now be keeping the food for herself alone.

Evening came faster than anything and almost about 2300 plus corp members stormed the Mami market to turn up and to raze down their allawee. There was more life in Mami today that I have ever seen since I came here. The turn up was by force!

I don't even know if I want to go again. I knew this day would come. The soldiers couldn't even hold us down tonight. There was a large quantity of alcohol flowing in everybody's blood. They gave up and left us.

Tonight was our last night in the "Obi of Issele-Uku" hostel. We bonded just like guys will bond. We cursed ourselves, made noises and made more noises.

‪#‎NYSC‬ ‪#‎CampExperience‬ ‪#‎WeAreGoingTomorrow

# Day19 #20/06/2015
Sleep was sweeter today. There is something that is called
going outside your comfort zone, yesterday I went wayy
out of my "planet zone". Usual morning parade. It seems
I have become a local celebrity.

Today was going to be Carnival. The last daytime
activity in camp. Mami market people have restocked
their shops with throat-cutting and fanciful costumes.
Today was something like freedom day. We became free
after the morning parade. Oh sleep! How much I have
missed you.

Even these soldiers wore their own costume. Why wasn't
the past days something like this? Why was it always
boring lectures, sitting on the floor and buying series of
job. The sweet things in life are always limited. The
carnival lasted from 03pm till 06:30 pm. To me it felt
like a decade. We were not yet ready to stop when 06:30
came, we wanted more not because we were oliver twists
but because we have been deprived of this kind of joy for
soo long a time.

More! More! More!
But it never came.

This evening unfolded like a miracle. The stingy kitchen
people started dishing out food as if Nigeria discovered a
new earth, as if we just turned no.1 richest country in
the world. Even that big black Yoruba mummy aka "Iya
Basira". She was even giving guys two pieces of meat
each. I wanted to say it was jazz or something else till I
noticed the presence of the state coordinator. It was all
"eye service ".

Mr Macho and Miss NYSC competitions came. Platoon 8
won Mr Macho.

Monday can you come here already!

# NYSC # CampExperience # GreatDay # DeltaKopa
# GoodToGo

Good morning bros. Your tips here will be kindly welcomed.

Muyiii:
Tips and advise to help get individuals seeking admission into Tuition free South African Universities.

I am the third hot chick from the left.

‪#‎Day18‬ 19/06/2015
Rain, cold and rain.
I am tired of running about. I don't want it to rain, I don't want it to sun, I want to go. The time remaining can now be quantified in hours but it seems it has started crawling this time.

Today was the competitions, so from the early morning my heart beat sounded something faster than that of "the Army of Peace Band". The Mr. Pretty face competitions was some long hours away.

I dodged the lectures today. It wasn't even cool staying behind. It was risky and boring at the same time.
I tried reading the NYSC handbook like I was preparing for my project defence. The more I read, the more I forgot and the more I got anxious.

There was this mummy in the kitchen, a very big, huge and heavy Yoruba woman. This woman just enjoys giving you a food ration that will not be enough for a 3year old. She just loves not giving people food. These guys sometimes waste the excess food that remains after sharing, I confirmed that when I worked in the kitchen. Why will this Big mummy be doing management with food that the government has provided for those who have decided to come and serve their Father land.
During collection of food, there are usually about 5 or 6 points where people cue up to collect food and because of this Mummy's pattern, nobody even goes to her side. Unless of course you are doing partial fasting or you want all the spaces in your meal ticket to get filled up.
A comedian made a joke about her yesterday night, I just pray she hears it and turn a new leaf. Her code name is "Iya Basira".

Evening came faster than anything you could think of. My shoe size wasn't anywhere to be found in the female world. The only one we saw was a year 1800 grand ma small hilled slippers. The guy wasn't even renting it, he insisted I buy it and maybe when I am done, I will put it on my museum. We didn't buy.
I was contestant no.8 representing platoon 8. The drill was to smile all through the while I will be on stage. Mehn! I didn't know to smile for long meant something else. Your lips will start undergoing a simple harmonic motion. I already had an artificial boobs.

There was some two guys you wouldn't know were guys that night. I knew they were going to be in the first three. I answered my question correctly and as I tried to bow out, I bowed like a man and corrected myself halfway. Acting to be a lady wasn't that easy after all. I am sure I lost some pretty good points from that error.
None of the contestants lost, those of us who didn't get to be among the chosen first three won a carton of super pack Indomie each. It wasn't that bad. I was a celeb tonight. Camera flashes from everybody. The guys that won deserved to win.

My room guys refused to let me sleep because I didn't bring back my Indomie prize back to the room. The lipstick on my lips refused to wash out even after scrubbing it with bathroom scrubbing brush.

What a day!

‪#‎NYSC‬ ‪#‎CampExperience‬ ‪#‎DeltaKopa‬ ‪#‎GoodToGo

Omoh that brown ram/goat is definitely a shaolin monk.

asumo12:
happening now?




https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/rdcl.gif

It looks cool. Especially for those that wish to fight Boko boys

I had this dream on the night of Day17. I didn't take it to be anything because I had already outran all the guys that were pursuing me from my village. Mumsi saw it on Facebook and called me, I just told her I made it all up.

We were in the hostel chatting, maybe you wouldn't call it chatting because basically our voices could be heard from far away Mogadishu and Kampala. Guys with so much stored up testosterone don't speak in hushed tones. Never!

Then this guy walked in with a stick into our room. The first thing I saw was his army pants. I looked at him and continued with what I was saying. Between the hours of 1400 to 1550 was for our rest, so I didn't think we were breaking any law at that moment.

He walked slowly towards our position and as he got closer, I saw :ohis face. I haven't seen him before, he was new in this camp. He had a pale disillusioned face, maybe he was among the soldiers who had witnessed first hand of man's inhumanity to man in the battle with Boko Haram, maybe he has experienced what the horrors of war looks like or maybe he has lost a very close buddy that was dear to his heart in this same battle.
I was still wallowing in my thoughts when he screamed like he was the Sindell of Mortal Kombat.

"Bepour I count to three, all up you should go outside and go down flat"
"1......2........ we ran like hell! We ran without looking back and found ourselves on the ground. There was gravel scattered all over the ground. Some of us weren't even putting on shirts. It hurt !

I have always known me to be someone who wasn't allergic to anything or maybe I have not yet found something I was allergic to.

As I lay on that ground with the pains, I felt the air passing through my nostrils into my body thin out each time I breathed in. I was gradually choking.

Where was all the air?
Has the government privatized oxygen?

As I forced myself to breath, my throat started swelling from the inside.
What was happening to me?

One of the guys that lay there with us, seeing me in my agony stood up and tried to help me out. The soldier now rushed towards our direction and kicked "my knight in shinning armor" and he lost his balance, fell face front to the ground and writhed in pains as he clutched his broken knee in his hands. My condition wasn't still getting any better.
I managed and stood up. The soldier took a glance at me and turned away.

I stood up and ran towards the Mami-market. I know Living things needed air to survive and I was gradually loosing all the one I had. The last time I checked it wasn't for sell but I had a strong belief that I will find help when I get there.
I ran and continued running.

The Mami-market was now closer. I approached the first woman and made an "I am thirsty" gesture with my hand, she brought out her hand and also made a "give me your money" gesture. I wasn't with any money, so she refused to sell to me. The second woman thought I wanted to make joke of her business and she also refused to sell to me .
I used my last strength to get to this place. I was already exhausted and gradually slipping away into oblivion before I saw the third woman. She held water in her hands and rushed towards my direction.
Help was now on the way but maybe it was too late. I staggered front a bit and fell down backwards to the ground.

As I lay there on the ground, I could feel the emptiness. My mind now moved in circles around a large mass of cloud. I was slipping away. After I fell, some corp members gathered round me and instead of calling for help, they brought out their phones and started taking pictures of me. They wanted to be the first person to report the news about a fallen corp member. It was that bad.

Then I felt a quick pain on my back, which was followed by another.
Then I heard "Mumu boy, you will not wake up now. These soldiers will soon start chasing".
It was my bunk mate.
Then I woke up.

‪#‎Day17‬ #18/06/2015
Why do we always have to wake up against our wish, why do we always have to wake up when we don't want to. Why does the best things in life gets to be regulated. Sometimes, I wish I could sleep and wake up in the year 2094.

There was no jogging or trekking today again. Earlier this week an SSS officer that loves showing himself shot at a woman's car, they said the woman refused to stop on the officers order. So he shot three of the woman's tires. It seems that was what led to the security threats that the officials have been saying. The locals have plans on retaliating. They want to bite back at finger that bit them, even though the toes mistakenly gets involved.

This man that loves making us do unimaginable stuffs came at it again. First platoon 8 and 9 frog jumped. Then he asked us to start praying like we were Muslims. After being in that position for some long minutes, he now asked us to walk on all fours with our head on the ground.
Can you imagine?

All of us are now being careful. Tgese guys are now tackling us more. We've heard rumours about guys that were decamped.
Some two guys were caught in the afternoon. No tags. No Id. Ghost corpers that probably came to unleash hell here. I don't know what later became of them.
Most beautiful girl and Mr. Hulk competitions happened. Partial judges were there, so they did what they know best. We didn't see any position today.
‪#‎NYSC‬ CampExperience

#Day16 #17/06/2015

This was one of the shortest nights in my life. You don't need to be educated to know that sleep deprivation will send you home sooner than your time. I was in debt of about 5hrs of sleep.

My hostel mates surprised me today. Immediately the bugle sounded, everybody started leaving. They didn't wait for someone to come and chase them. These were guys I was planning to emulate. How can they just turn cold because of yesterday's small incidence.

No trekking today, rumours about "no camp fire night" had been circulating. If it eventually becomes true, then I will never advice an enemy to come to this camp.

Parade competitions. We came sixth position in the match past and came first in the Miss Petite competitions. Not bad.

This night, we waited for RSM to come. We wished to sleep at the parade ground. He refused to come.
4 days to go.

#NYSC #CampExperience

There isn't much details in today's experience. Lack of sleep can really mess up your brain in a way. #countDown #BearWithMe

#Day15 #16/06/2015

Horrible camp! A whole Joseph the dreamer like me. My nights have been blank since the 2nd I came here.
This Igbo guy that sang praises was on fire. He sang only Igbo songs. You need to have seen the faces of all these Yoruba people. You guys started it.
They will always say "every disappointment is a blessing". Our punishment was to wear the khaki from morning instead of the white, it helped us with the cold.

The trekking was now a different route and a longer distance, with the usual chanting of songs.
"Monday, Monday oh!
Monday, Monday eee we dey go oh"!
was among the songs.

These soldiers were never tired, they only retreated to regroup and annihilate us more. I escaped luckily this morning but some of my roommates were unlucky, they got busted.

Boring lectures, it actually got more boring as the days dragged by.
SAED classes now made the time move faster, at least you cam use your phone and move freely to some unrestricted places.

Afternoon was Garri and something that wanted to look like Banga soup ( watery coloured oil) I ran for my dear stomach. Plenty people did. The toilets here are not that very friendly.

Evening parade came, the RSM made us sit on the field under the scorching sun for over an hour.
It is better be a criminal and receive punishments for my actions than be an innocent civilian and still receive punishments for your inactions that wasn't even as a result of neglect.

Platoon 8 came first position again in the drama competition. We rocked again!

Today was a long day so I slept off as soon as I made contact with the my flat bed on my spring bunk at around 10:20pm.
At about some minutes to 11pm, someone woke me up and I could hear someone at the door shouting "Go down! Go down!". It was the RSM, WTF was he doing here? He ordered us to move to a small corridor at the entrance of the room, then he asked all of us to sit down. We are about 40 occupants in that room and we all fitted comfortably like sardines in that small space.
He rained abuses on us and threatened to send us to places that were beyond civilization. Places were we would see dragons and sabre toothed tigers.
He said we were going to sit on that floor till 1am. What could we have done? I was already fast asleep before he came. He now asked us to bend down our heads and sleep on that floor. He imposed sleep on us. I was only on my boxers and the floor wasn't just cold, it was a very dirty area. That was where the waste bins were usually kept. He said we will sleep by 1am and he will wake us compulsorily by 3am, that if we made any more noise he will move us to the parade ground.

He left us on that floor and out of fear of entering more troubles we remained there. I rested my back on a spoilt spring bunk and dozed from time to time. That position was very horrible in every imaginable way. Most of us slept off on that floor.
I think I now know what it feels like to sleep inside a cell. I went back to my bed at some minutes to 12am. I needed to sleep so that I wont slump and die the next day. I prepared for the worst and luckily the man never came back to check on us.

#NYSC #CampExperience #Hell #HowDidWeComeHere

MrIyke222:
Nice nd urgly experiences for fatherland. I lik ur writing concept. U cld make a good creative writer. U jst rminded me of one of our great Theorists( Ivan Pavlov) Are u a Psychology or education graduate?

Nah, neither of the two. I studied Civil Engineering.

#Day14 #15/06/2015

Noises, rumbling and shouting woke me up earlier before 4am. There was always noise is this wonderful room of mine. The name of my hostel is "Obi 1 of Issele-Uku". What I heard when I listened was people shouting "final year! Final year!, then I understood. It was count-down to D-day. Our freedom was barely a week away. Me, I have been #GoodToGo since I started experiencing something entirely different from stories previous corp members had told. We couldn't wait to leave here.

We didn't jog today. we trekked instead, singing and cursing the random locals we passed on the way. The distance was longer today and it wasn't even yet the endurance trek.

Na who go tire?
Na dem go tire!
I intentionally sat outside the hall during the lectures and the soldiers came, passed me without trying to chase me inside. I thought you guys were Terminator and Predator mixed together? So you guys can get tired like us too? I am very disappointed at you guys.

Because of the captain's order on Saturday, the RSM reminded us of the job we bought. The monkey dressing, it was going to be ON from 1400hours. Even the OBS guys kept repeating it on the radio. It was only dead people that were exempted.

I dodged the afternoon parade today. At least I thought I already have. I didn't want to wear the "monkey cloth" today. Some minutes after every one left the room they immediately rushed back again saying the punishment had now been modified. They were now asked to hurry and come back with just the khaki and jungle boots this time. It is usually called 7/7.
The adage "He who the gods wants to kill, they first make him mad". I wasn't looking forward to running mad, so I wore my khaki and stepped out with the others. Because of my swollen toe, the jungle boot felt like I was walking on hot coal. Being on that khaki in the hot afternoon makes you feel like the 6th person with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the fiery furnace. We weren't even doing anything in the parade ground. We just stood there.
For the first time in my life, I wished these soldiers bad, I wished that harm will come their way, I swore for them. I longed to join Boko Haram for the sole purpose of harming them.

We usually sleep very late here, not because of heat, punishments or mosquitoes but rather because we as guys have to make our own noise and yab who we have to yab before we sleep. I didn't know for the girls shaa.
At about quarter to eleven, some people started making noise, even guys that were already sleeping jumped down from their bed and dressed up saying it was "fire alarm".
Almost everyone were running outside. I had already invested much in my sleep and there was no going back, so I just observed them for a while and slept off gladly. The worst that could happen was for some soldier to either come and hit me or pour me water to wake me up. None of them happened shaa. I didn't even know when the Otondos returned. It was all a hoax.

#NYSC #CampExperience #Ajuwaya

#Day13 #14/06/2015

Dearest lord, thank you once again for creating Sunday after you made Saturday, thank you for making it a day of rest.

"Who no come, no go know. Who know, no go come".

Today was basically heaven, no parade and no morning bugle. It was today that I saw chicks that looked sweet sixteen on their white polo and shorts look like something else. Some of them must have used their football age to sneak into this camp. I saw a grand ma corper today.

These guy kept hurrying me so that we will go on time to church, me I told him if I don't go to that kitchen to take my breakfast first, I wont go anywhere. He left, me I stayed. Before I could go bring breakfast and come back, the guy was already in the room with his flask. Its these kind of people that are the main reason the world is not yet a better place.

I went to church today and on time too. At one time the priest started saying stuffs that the congregation were chorusing amen to. He said that this week was going to be better than the last week". I didn't join in shouting amen to that. The sadist camp commandant has already given us a glimpse of how the week was going to be. I lacked "faith", I didn't believe the man will ever change his mind.

During lunch, this Yoruba chick that was dishing out meat mistakenly dropped a large chunk of meat into my plate, I blew kisses at her and smiled like my dad had just won the presidential elections. God bless you Sweetheart ❤

We auditioned for the Mr. Pretty face pageant later in the evening. oh lord how did I end up here. The audience present laughed their hearts out as I tried catwalking and wriggling my behind up on that stage.
One lady volunteered to tutor me on catwalking 101.

Monday wasn't going to be a good day, I didn't need to be a prophet to see that.

#NYSC #CampExperience #MyPapaLand

His hometown of "Ngozi", I wont be surprised when the local government turns out to be "Chinasa LGA"

#Day12 #13/06/2015

The days had now turned long and longer and the night just feels like 3hours. Our lights out is around 10pm and we are supposed to be awake and on the parade ground by 5am in the morning. Because of the way the day stretches, the night never seems to be just enough. Its like going hungry for over 18hrs and then someone throws you inside the tantilizers, you wont even be able to eat anything.

Today our jogging distance increased, we went round Issele-Uku. Shouting and letting them know that it was we that was serving our papa land.

We had lectures again today that is Saturday. Even bankers do rest on weekends. Today's lecture wasn't boring as I had expected it to be, maybe it was because I sat on a seat today. These guys that spoke to us, all made sense.

Today, they gave us our Bicycle allowance of 1000naira. What I don't know is if the money is for us to use it and buy a bicycle or for us to be using it to board bicycle throughout our service year. I didn't ask plenty questions shaa, I was glad to have become 1k richer.

We came out for parade this evening, on time oh! We were now asked to seat on the ground.

The camp commandant came with his own "job". Capt. M. I. Abubakar is his name, a slim lanky guy that never smiles. "They" said a corp member insulted him and he even knows the person together with his platoon. But still he decided to punish 2352 other innocent people for the foolishness of one man. He said we will wear the monkey outfit for our remaining days.
Where are all of you that will keep telling me that the camp will become fun with time, that everything will turn out better soon, if una talk am again I will visit Olokun for your sake.
He said he will make the remaining of our days hell, unbearable and difficult.

We cant rebel against these soldiers, we are just ordinary civilians. We might even be decamped. The only thing we did was to go back to our room and rain curses on them. One guy said Boko Haram will kill that captain. We all said many things but what has been said has been said.

"What can man do in the face of all these evil?" We shall not die!

#CampExperience #NYSC

"We cross the sea of anxieties because we remain hopeful again".

happyday:
Waoh! What a small world. It's like I'm the one writing all these. A million thumbs up @ OP. I can definitely relate to everything here. Was in 6 platoooonssss (I know you get). I have been posted to Agbor, what about you? Hope you're missing the soldiers esp RSM, Baba Bello and John Cena, also UReports. . . .lol

I miss camp and everything in it like crazy. I was posted to Warri.

#Day11 #12/06/2015

I am not a farmer and most of us here cant even remember the last time they went to the farm but you need to have seen the way we all joined our voices in prayer asking the Good lord to send down rain, not even for the farmers crop to grow but for this morning parade to come to an end.
The good lord heard our prayers and sent down the rain. Thank you lord!

We ran inside the hall and was chased out after a while, even before the rain could even stop.
"There is no fairness is this"
We were marching under the rain on a very cold morning. Not fair at all.
The rain beat us and at the same tine dried on our body.

I wasn't told I was coming here to prepare for war. The way these past few days has been for me, I can comfortably sneak into Syria, kill their president and cross over to somalia to suppress all the rebels.

From the parade ground, I could sense that the day was going to be a very long one.
Some dude poured tea on my white when I went to collect breakfast, polo that I just wore for the first time and the last clean one I had. The dude poured me the tea and continued walking, he didn't even know what he had done. Calling him back so that he will tell me sorry wouldn't have made any difference, so I let him go and mourned my loss.

Platoon 8 also had sanitation in the morning. This young guy that was an official then came to display himself. The last time someone spoke to me this way was wayy back in ss1. They had already taken my tag no. so the only good thing I could have done was to behave and behave I did.
"Bros take your time and tell me all you want tell me, shey its me that came to serve Nigeria, na me find trouble come".

Inside here you don't really do what you want to do, you do what they want you to do. The only stuff you can do because you want to do them is using the toilet. So late in the afternoon, I went voluntarily to join platoon 8 in the kitchen to cook,
I felt a bit better.
We did well but these hefty kitchen women lacked "appreciation", so they kept shouting and shouting.

#NYSC #CampExperience #YeyeCorper

#Day10 #11/06/2015

"Buy job" = a punishment that is given to a corper when he misbehaves or maybe when the soldier wants to intimidate an innocent and defenceless corp member.
Today was "Buy job" day because that's the only thing I can remember about today.

After those boring lectures, the RSM ordered us to change into our monkey kit. Monkey kit is wearing all your kits together as you can see from that picture. The whole camp bought this job. What we did, we did not know. They just sell job to us whenever they want to.

Its usually very cold here in the morning and hot in afternoon. Even if you walk around naked, it will still be hot. Now imagine the fiery furnace hot it will be when you kit up like that. Hell would have been cooler.

We had Man'O'war proper later in the evening. This camera men went and paid the officials so that we wont use our phones and so that we will patronize them. They just kept snapping and me I just kept posing, na who go tire!! na them go tire!! Our joy was cut short when the RSM came back again.

Today wasn't cool, but my wonderful and ever dynamic platoon 8 won in the cultural dance. You see, we are not all that bad.
Morale = lower!

#NYSC #CampExperience #HellishDay

...."We smile, not because we do not know how to cry but it is because our tears have no meaning within these walls, our anger can only heat up and then evaporate because inside here, the only option you have is to obey, adapt and survive".....
I should have read that undertaking before signing it.

#Day09 10/06/2015

Cold! Cold! and more cold!

Bugle (dictionary meaning): (music) a simple brass instrument consisting of a horn with no valves, playing only pitches in its harmonic series.
Bugle(my own meaning): an irritating sound, a joy killer, a sound that instantly terminates your rest. A devilish sound.

The bugle coordinates our activities here and it sounds mostly at times when it is never supposed to sound. I did like it at first but now its just hatred and anger that I associate with it.

Everything is now becoming a routine. Prayer, morning drills and those super boring lectures.

The Brigadier General came today, he was represented by some other man. Nigerians will always be Nigerians, they now turned on the generator so that the fans in the hall will shake off dust, so that we will impress the representative. This is the same hall we've been using for days now to receive lectures without light. Even the meanest RSM now pleaded with us to behave. He pleaded!

My right arm has now totally peeled off.

Morale = Low!

#NYSC #CampExperience #DeltaKopa

#Day8 09/06/2015

"Youths Obey the clarion call,
Let us lift our Nation high,
Under the sun and in the rain,
With dedication and selflessness,
Nigeria is ours, Nigeria we serve..."

That's what the NYSC anthem looks like, please look well and help me check if you will see anything like "under the cold" or "in the cold". Being on that parade ground as early as 5am feels like stepping out of your bed and heading straight into a Samsung galaxy freezer with just white shorts and a white polo that the material is lighter than that of a feather. The cold now takes his time to deal with us.

Just the thoughts of those super boring lectures makes you wonder why bad things happen to good people. I have never been an early goer to most activities, so today as usual I didn't meet any free seat in that hall. I had to go with two other guys to carry a fallen Iroko tree that will serve as our sofa as we endured the lectures that we were forced to listen to. After we carried it to the hall, this guy (lemme not call him foolish) now came and asked me if I wanted to sit on it, I think you should know what I answered him.
I am gradually going back in time against evolution. If I am not standing up for some very long hours, it will be sitting on the ground, on top of a stone or a dried tree trunk. If I continue at this rate, maybe by the end of next week, I would have started chewing grass, drinking blood and tying loin cloths.

Because of the limited no of seats in that yeye hall, if any official finds you sleeping, you are definitely losing your seat and joining us on the ground, while someone on the ground comes along to sub you.
So this foolish guy, yeah a mumu boy he is was sleeping and a soldier told him to do like the others have been doing, to stand up and forfeit his seat. The guy started raking oh, and gingering.
These soldiers have been warned already not to touch any of us in any way, otherwise maybe by now I would have lost both limbs with an arm. Me I don't know what gave this my fellow mumu Otondo that type of morale to be gingering a soldier like that. And yeah the soldier provoked! Who wouldn't?
He asked the guy to go and kit up and come back. He was to go and wear his white shorts and polo on top of his khaki then to come back with a bucket of water. When he came, the soldier asked him to now go back and get a spoon.
He came back and his penance began. He was asked to use the spoon and be taking the water from the bucket and pouring it outside. The distance from the bucket to the entrance of the hall was something of about 20meters. Based on my small knowledge of mathematics I think it will take that guy to go to and fro 4000times and probably more before that water would finish. I thanked that guy sincerely for making my day.

We lost our football match and lost in the Golden voice competition. Even if we lose in everything, we can never lose in "buying job" and noise making.
Platoon 8 rocks jare!

#NYSC #CampExperience #DeltaKopa

Kingnap:
Pls i dont undestand phrase ''to buy jobs'' as used in this write up. Kudos 2u man [nice write up]... Lookin 4ward 2 my own camp experience by november.

"To buy job" is a phrase the soldiers use to denote their own punishment.
Job means punishment.