Fenrir: Your culture mr smart alec..... Pay attention......
Let’s stop pretending.
When people shout “Our tradition! Prostrate! Do full Yoruba wedding! Respect our culture!” they always list what the groom must do.
They almost never mention what the bride’s family was originally supposed to do to deserve all that respect, bride price, and full prostration package.
If we are talking real old-school Yoruba custom (not 2025 selective memory), then “tradition” was a bundle:
If the groom’s side does X, Y, Z… the bride’s family must also have done A, B, C.
You can’t demand one half and quietly delete the other.
Virginity = “lineage guarantee” (and the parents had duties here)
In old Yoruba custom, virginity wasn’t just a cute idea, it was family honour + lineage certainty.
There was asa ibile, the white cloth on the wedding night to prove virginity. If she was a virgin, gifts and money went back to her parents in pride. If not, symbolic shame (half-boiled yam, etc.) was sent instead.
Virginity was tied to good upbringing, proper monitoring, protection, and no secret boyfriends and baby daddies.
Meaning, if you want to shout “our tradition!” about prostration & bride price, then the girl’s family were also obligated to.....
protect her from sexual abuse and exploitation actually supervise her movements and relationships
insist on no sex before marriage if they want to use virginity as their cultural bragging right.
You cannot abandon all those parental duties, turn blind eye to “coded runs”, then still stand up on wedding day forming “we are traditional, prostrate for us.”
That’s not culture. That’s selective memory.
Proper upbringing & character, Ìwà, not just makeup.......
Traditional Yoruba marriage respected families that raised Omoluabi, good character.
The bride’s family was expected to,
raise her with discipline, honesty, respect, and home training
teach her how to live peacefully in another house, not how to weaponise drama show that she is entering the man’s home as asset, not destabiliser
Old texts and studies emphasise that part of what groom’s family is “thanking” the bride’s family for (with owo orí, gifts, prostration) is the years of proper upbringing & moral training.
If you’ve never really raised the girl, grandparents did everything, or she basically raised herself on TikTok and church performances, then what exactly are we prostrating for?
Protection & supervision not throwing girls to wolves.....
Traditionally, there were clear systems......
alarina, go between and chaperones in courtship
structured visits serious monitoring of who is courting the daughter and with what intention
If a grown man slept with an unbetrothed virgin, he was expected to pay and/or marry her there was some accountability......
Today?
many families don’t protect their daughters don’t believe them when something happens
push them out early to “hustle”
then suddenly remember “tradition” when it’s time to collect list and bride price.
Again, you can’t throw away your side of the cultural duty, then resurrect it only when money and prostration enter the chat.
The bride’s “equipment” used to be their job, not the groom’s
Historically, the bride’s family were supposed to send her off properly equipped,
clothing cooking tools home essentials
things that show she’s ready to manage a home and contribute.
Now look at most modern lists:
“gas cooker, fridge, blender, full kitchen, generator, furniture…”
all dumped on the groom, while the bride’s family basically arrive with vibes, matching aso ebi and billing.
If we’re being honest,
Tradition = the bride’s family equip her to be an asset in that home. Extortion = the groom fully equips their daughter and their own kitchen back home.
Pick one. Don’t call extortion “culture.”
Dowry (owo orí) was symbolic, not ransom.......
Old Yoruba custom: dowry was often small and symbolic, and in many cases returned, to emphasise “we are not selling our daughter, this is just culture.”
Even where it wasn’t returned, it was still token-level, not “buy a mini-supermarket or no wife.” Modern practice in many families? Endless lists, extra bills on the day, “add something”, “Ibòmbo – we trained your daughter”, multiple unplanned levies.
Question, If you truly trained her and truly spent on her, it will show in her character, skills, education, stability. You won’t need to “over-compensate” on the list to prove it.
Ongoing support, not “collect and disappear”........
Traditionally, bride’s family didn’t just cash out and disappear,
they continued to support, advise, mediate, and guide the new couple
elders prayed, blessed, and sometimes corrected their own daughter when she was the problem,
Now?
Most families,
interfere when it benefits them vanish when there is real problem side their daughter blindly even when she’s wrong still expect maximum respect + money flow + “in-law of the year” treatment.
Again, if we are using real tradition, your role as bride’s family continues after the marriage. It’s not just “collect list & spray money.”
So what’s the actual point here?......
Not to insult Yoruba culture. Not to say “women are bad” or “families are evil.”
The point is simple.....
You cannot demand full traditional obedience from a groom when you did not fulfil your own traditional duties as the bride’s family.
If your daughter......
was not protected from abuse was not supervised in courtship was not raised with real Omoluabi character was not properly equipped from your side
did not keep the “purity” you now weaponise did not benefit from your ongoing moral support
…then be honest:
You are no longer operating full Yoruba tradition. You are operating modern life + selective “tradition” for money and ego. Fine. Life has changed. Nobody is perfect. But then stop shouting:
“He must prostrate!” “He must give us X, Y, Z because culture!” “Registry alone is not marriage!”
If you want modern, do modern: registry + simple intro + mutual respect. If you want tradition, then accept that tradition binds both families, not just the man.
Final questions for Nairaland.....
Can a family that didn’t uphold the traditional duties listed above still demand full prostration and heavy “list” with a straight face?
Shouldn’t we be honest that what many people call “tradition” today is edited tradition, mostly focused on what the man must pay and perform? If submission is demanded from the woman, and prostration from the man, then where is the matching accountability from both families?
No insults, No tribal bashing Just simple logic
This is a logical trap......
1) if you defend the current practice then you are admitting its not tradition
2) if you admit it is tradition then you accept the obligations of the bride's family
3) if you say "times have changed" then you have to stop demaning/expecting prostration/bride price
4) if you attack then you cant defend your own logic
5) if you ignore it you prove hypocrisy and fraud
Like I said before all these your articulation has no substance of the culture you so much wan to misinterpreted. Doesn't it dwarf intelligence when you mischievously want to paint a culture in your own colours?
Fenrir: Do you know the funny thing fella? A man can just tell all yoruba parents, uncles and aunts Whatever to just "shut up" in the wedding process and he faces no legal action what will they do? Call the police? "😭 This adult wont obey me"
Now flip the script, they demand traditions = crime under federal law = must issue a public apology + 500,000-5,000,000 naira fine + potential 2-7 years in prison
They attempt to stop the wedding = crime under federal law = again must issue public apology + 500,000-5,000,000 naira fine + potential 2-7 years in prison
Your elders have no authority and no power over Nigerians or foreign nationals but the couple have ultimate power
And petty little men like you are starting to learn that
You are just so dumb. You don't understand the culture you are trying to interprete. I say it again, except you are Yoruba you can't ever understand the deep complexity.
Fenrir: Shhh, fella. Im Norwegian that was emancipated THEN basically raised an OLD SCHOOL Yoruba woman uk and WAS married to a Yoruba woman. I spent my whole life even during military service learning this nonsense. You were born into it and yet you know nothing about it. Thats cosmic level irony that i actually respected your culture enough to learn the truth but you disrespect it daily in modern life.
It's not your culture so you can't even begin to understand the nuances of the culture. You can only try
Fenrir: Yoruba "we dont sell our daughters" nonsense
Actually fraud under Nigerian law "misrepresentation"
The "misdirection" often lies in the public return of a tiny symbolic amount (₦5,000) while the groom has already paid dozens of "hidden" administrative fees to specific family members. Example of a "Real" Modern Yoruba Engagement List (2025) This list reflects contemporary demands where symbolic items are paired with high end luxury goods and granular cash requirements. The "Hidden" Cash Envelopes (Mandatory Payments) These are separate from the bride price and are rarely "returned." Owo Ikanlekun (Door Knocking) ₦10,000 to ₦20,000 Owo Baba Gbo (Father’s Consent) ₦10,000 to ₦50,000 Owo Iya Gbo (Mother’s Consent) ₦10,000 to ₦50,000 Owo Iyawo Ile (Family Wives): ₦10,000 to ₦20,000 (To "allow" the bride to leave) Owo Omo Ile (Family Youth/Children): ₦5,000 to ₦15,000 Owo Agba (Elders Consent): ₦10,000 to ₦30,000 Owo Aeroplane (Transportation Fee) ₦5,000 to ₦10,000 (Symbolic fee for "moving" the bride) Owo Alaga (MCs Coordinators): ₦20,000 to ₦100,000+ Fees for the traditional MCs Modern Luxury Material Items Instead of just yams and honey, modern lists often specify high end brands and gadgets. Luggage: 2 to 3 high end Designer Suitcases (Samsonite or luxury leather) filled with clothes. Tech, 1 High end Smartphone (often an iPhone 15/16 or Samsung S-series) for the bride. Jewelry, 1 Full set of Gold jewelry, necklace, earrings, bracelet Watches, Matching designer watches for the bride and her parents. Fabrics, 2 to 4 high grade Aso Oke or Lace fabrics often costing ₦50,000 to ₦200,000 per piece Traditional Provisions Bulk 42 Large Tubers of Yam: Carefully selected for size and "beauty." 25 to 50 Liters of Vegetable/Palm Oil. Multiple Bags, Rice 50kg, Salt, and Sugar. Drinks, 2 to 5 Crates of Malt, 2 to 5 Crates of Soft Drinks, and 2 bottles of high end Non Alcoholic Wine. The "Generosity" Return The Theatre Official Owo Ori (Bride Price) ₦5,000. The Act, During the ceremony, the bride’s father will publicly state, "We are not selling our daughter" and return this specific ₦5,000 envelope to the groom’s family. The Reality, The groom has typically spent between ₦800,000 and ₦2,500,000 total to fulfill the rest of the list and envelopes by the time the "returned" ₦5,000 is handed back.
And you still dont see why I have a problem? I hate hypocrisy and double standards and they are frauds playing cultural cosplay and its not Yoruba women its the men.
If you are not Yoruba keep your mouth out of yoruba affairs.
Putindbutt: Makinde is hustling for Presidential ticket but his PR is doing a poor job. You forgot Wike & Fayose are your elders in this game.
Forget all the media talk, like his friend Bala, if Makinde sees Tinubu anywhere, he will bow. All of them, the Governors, they will bow, no matter your party.
Makinde has an overbloated impression of himself in politics. That will be his downfall
There is nothing terrorists can do if you don't open your door to them. North are the ones inviting the terrorists themselves in the name of religion without conscience. Religion is their ongoing😜
motymop: Has anyone sat down to read the new tax law and compare it with the current tax law.
The new tax law does not tax you if you earn 800k and below in a year. If you earn 840k per year, you tax will be on only 40k which is around 6-7k per year.
In the current tax, if you are earning 840k per year, your 840k isn't fully exempted, your yearly tax is 40k per year.
This is simple...poor people will pay less in the new tax law
The rich are using poor people to fight the new tax law, it is painful to watch.
Current minimum wage is 70k multiply by 12 it's equal to 840k. In other words every Nigeria worker will pay tax. Stop fooling yourself. In reality nobody is exempted. It's just a cunning way to play Nigerians
AWONEYAN: Is this what is next for him? Two expired spent layers getting married at low salvage value.
Secretary to the Federal Government thinking of how to do honey moon when Trump was helping us to deal with the terrorist
The woman marrital CV is super crazy.. She was once married to..... 1. Former Governor of Jigawa State 2. Dubai Business man 3. Ooni of Ife 4. Qatar Prince
And now.... 5. George Akume (SGF)
Am surprised she is wearing white gown. She should have put on campala of many colors
IF A MAN HAS NEVER HAD SEX OR A WOMAN HAS NEVER HAD SEX THEY ARE CONSIDERED VIRGIN.
One of the feminist champion is here! Virgin is a very sacred thing in the past to infer an untouched woman, until modern day when it is applied broadly to apply to anything new. Anyway noted with thanks😜
In this heated viral clip from December 2025, prominent Islamic cleric Sheikh Ahmad Gumi delivers a bold message amid Nigeria's ongoing insecurity crisis:
“Herdsmen are going nowhere. They are part of us, and we are part of them. We must learn to live together and should never become enemies with them.”
The statement has ignited massive debate across Nigeria, with critics accusing Gumi of sympathizing with armed groups linked to banditry, while supporters see it as a call for dialogue over violence.
This man no doubt is directly behind the bandits attack in the north.
On Christmas Day 2025, a Muslim cleric in Nigeria dropped a bold statement: 'Any Muslim who cooks, goes out, or does anything for the sake of Christmas celebration is going to h£llf!re!' Watch the full clip and see how Nigerians (Muslims and non-Muslims alike) reacted — from hilarious memes to people openly saying they're still eating Christmas rice! In Nigeria, where interfaith holidays are often celebrated together, this controversial take sparked massive debate, laughs, and zero drama. Even Saudi Arabia and UAE get festive period that is exclusively celebrated by Christians.
alanto: Speaking during an interview on Signature TV, Hon. Chidi Ofoegbu, a politician, has dismissed claims of persistent marginalization of the Igbo ethnic group in Nigeria, arguing that unity and strategic engagement, rather than complaints, have historically yielded better political outcomes.
Ofoegbu spoke while reflecting on past political arrangements and negotiations between leaders from the South-East and the federal government.
According to him, narratives of marginalization are often exaggerated and fail to acknowledge moments when collective bargaining and unity produced tangible results for the region.
He stated, “You know, when people glamorize marginalization, I don’t believe in it. When Obasanjo was the president of Nigeria, Igbos were more united. We had people from the South-East who went to Obasanjo and said, ‘We need this or If you don’t give us this, forget it; we will not support you.’ There was a negotiation.”
He pointed to the administration of former President Olusegun Obasanjo as an example of a period when the Igbo political class was more cohesive and assertive in its dealings with the center.
Ofoegbu noted that during that era, leaders from the South-East adopted a coordinated approach, presenting their demands clearly and backing them with political leverage.
Afriifa: It is just shame that they pick different days to celebrate their Islamic rites and nobody questions their calender but whenever Christians celebrate theirs, they suddenly remember history to question the legitimacy of our celebration. There is nothing peaceful about them
Christian is a threat to their survival. Whereas without Christianity their religion has no foundation. Half of what is in the Quran is about the Jews history and people.
MightySparrow: Why Northern Nigeria May Not Know Peace After the Jihad of Uthman dan Fodio
For decades, Northern Nigeria has been trapped in cycles of violence—banditry, insurgency, communal clashes, religious extremism, and deep mistrust among peoples who share the same land. Governments change, military operations come and go, yet peace remains elusive. To understand why, one must look beyond present-day politics and confront an uncomfortable historical reality: the unresolved legacy of the 19th-century jihad of Uthman dan Fodio. This is not an attack on Islam as a faith, but a critical examination of how religion was historically used as a tool of conquest—and how the consequences of that conquest continue to haunt the region. Religion Recast as a Weapon for Land Acquisition The jihad led by Uthman dan Fodio was framed as a religious reform, but in practice it became a means of territorial expansion. Islamic doctrine was reinterpreted to justify war against existing rulers—many of whom were already Muslims—and against non-Muslim indigenous communities. Through this redefinition, land seizure and political domination were presented as divine mandates. Entire territories were conquered, not through consent or dialogue, but through the sword, leaving behind a precedent where religion validated force rather than peace. Subjugation of Indigenous Peoples and Imposed Authority The outcome of the jihad was the establishment of the Sokoto Caliphate and the emirate system, which imposed Fulani rulership over diverse ethnic nationalities. Many indigenous peoples became subjects in their own ancestral lands, governed by rulers they neither chose nor culturally identified with. This forced hierarchy entrenched inequality and resentment. The conquered remembered their loss; the conquerors institutionalized their victory. Without reconciliation, domination became tradition, and injustice became normalized. The Silent Cry of Innocent Blood The jihad was accompanied by mass killings, enslavement, forced displacement, and coerced conversions. Communities were destroyed, families uprooted, and cultures suppressed. Yet history moved on without justice, apology, or restitution. In African moral consciousness, spilled innocent blood does not simply disappear—it cries out. When violence is not acknowledged or healed, it reproduces itself. Today’s chaos can be seen as the echo of yesterday’s unresolved injustice. Indoctrination and the Birth of Violent Movements The ideological foundation laid by the jihad did not end in the 19th century. Over time, it evolved into a culture where violence could still be justified in the name of religion. Modern bandits, insurgents, and extremist groups may not consciously invoke dan Fodio, but they operate within a worldview he helped normalize—one where faith can excuse bloodshed and coercion. When such ideas meet poverty, weak governance, and easy weapons, terror becomes inevitable. Awakening and the Crisis of Legitimacy Across Northern Nigeria, many indigenous communities are beginning to reassess their history. There is a growing realization that Islam, for their forebears, often arrived not as a free spiritual choice but as a tool of conquest and control. This awakening is destabilizing long-standing power structures. Traditional authorities lose moral legitimacy. Religious narratives are questioned. What follows is tension—between rulers and the ruled, history and truth, imposed identity and recovered memory. A Future of Perennial Violence? Unless this historical foundation is honestly confronted, Northern Nigeria may continue to bleed. Military solutions alone cannot fix a moral and historical problem. Development projects cannot heal centuries-old wounds. Peace cannot be built on denial. Where conquest is glorified, victims forgotten, and history manipulated, violence will regenerate itself in new forms. Without truth, justice, and structural reform, instability will remain the norm rather than the exception. Conclusion Northern Nigeria’s crisis did not begin with Boko Haram or banditry; it began with a violent reordering of society that was never reconciled. The jihad of Uthman dan Fodio reshaped the region through force, leaving behind deep fractures that still define power, identity, and conflict. If peace is ever to come, it must begin with historical honesty—acknowledging how religion was abused, how peoples were subjugated, and how unresolved injustice fuels today’s violence. Only truth can lay the foundation for lasting peace.
Their leaders codedly support the carnage, some even finance it
ogugwa1992: The Managing Director/Chief Executive Officer of the North Central Development Commission (NCDC), Dr. Cyril Yiltsen Tsenyil, FCNA, on behalf of the Board, Management and Staff of the Commission, extends warm Christmas greetings to Christians across the North Central Zone and Nigeria at large.
Christmas, which marks the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ, is a season that reminds us of the enduring values of love, peace, humility, sacrifice, and service to humanity. It calls on us to renew our faith in God, strengthen the bonds of unity among our people, and recommit ourselves to peaceful coexistence and collective progress.
Dr. Tsenyil notes that despite the challenges confronting the nation, the Christmas season offers hope, reassurance, and renewed confidence in a better tomorrow. He urges Christians and all Nigerians to use this period to pray for peace, security, and stability in the North Central Zone and the country as a whole, while showing compassion to the less privileged in our communities.
The Managing Director/CEO reiterates the commitment of the Board and Management of the NCDC to the Commission’s mandate of driving inclusive development, reducing poverty, and improving the quality of life of the people of the North Central Zone through impactful and people-centred interventions.
He wishes Christians in the North Central Zone and all Nigerians a joyful Christmas celebration and prays that the New Year will usher in greater peace, prosperity, and sustainable development for the nation.
North Central Development Commission (NCDC) Media. 25th December 2025.
Good development. First time middle belt is speaking independent of northern deception
Playconsoler101: It is agree upon to a very large extent by the Christian community that Jesus wasn't indeed born on the 25th of December.
Why then do those who claim to hold dear to Jesus still keep to this false date? Let's not even talk about how it is in the Western world where the idea that it is about Jesus has almost been completely taken over by "Santan Clause", but down here in Africa, where almost everything seems to have been discovered for us, even after it was discovered that Jesus wasn't born on 25th, why still adherently keep to it?
What's your business with our believe system? That's the date we accepted to celebrate Jesus birth. Your opinion is immaterial. What is the birth date of your Mohammed? I m sure you don't know it yet you celebrate the hypocrisy ☹️
Many viewers expressed sympathy for the man, calling it "the ultimate betrayal." Others urged him to walk away and rebuild his peace instead of seeking revenge.
Man Comes Home to Find Another Man in His Bed - and His Baby on the Floor!
A heartbreaking story has gone viral after a hardworking man returned home from a 12-hour shift only to find another man lying in his bed - with his wife, while their baby
When you marry a prostitute as wife then this is inevitable.
Culture › Re: Cultural Fraud In Practice by Kdon2: 8:00pm On Dec 28, 2025
