₦airaland Forum

What I can see here is dat d girl has dumped u B4 u even did, 4 her nt to keep disturbing u then she clearly has been looking 4 a way to dump u. It's either she has anoda guy or she doesn't love u again.
I KNOW U STILL LOVE HER but dnt go 4 her again because she doesn't care.

What I can see here is dat d girl has dumped u B4 u even did, 4 her nt to keep disturbing u then she clearly has been looking 4 a way to dump u. It's either she has anoda guy or she doesn't love u again.

OBIORAA: Nice one.

But wait o
How come na now whe election done the reach na him boko boys come the lose the war ?

something is fishing.
And I don't like fish.

U guys r always not satisfied, if d killing had continued in d northeast u will complain dat GEJ is keeping calm so dat there won't b election in dat region because dats where APC has much supporters.

donphilopus: Later some people will invade here to tell us that SaharaReporters is allergic to reporting a positive news about the Nigerian Military. Ride on SaharaReporters, we'e solidly behind you.

Meanwhile, kudos to the Nigerian Military!

B4 nko? R they nt d ones dat said shekau is not dead? They just want to cover dia shame a little and by d way, what is monstrous abt dat armored car? An armored tank with rubber tyre is now monstrous, sahara R are a bunch of confused sadists

Some

lalasticlala: lol

Yes o

lalasticlala: 1 Pressing your phone in the church during service.
2 Answering/Making call during service
3 Sleeping/Dozing during service.
4 Sitting down when you are instructed to stand
5 Opening your eyes and looking at those praying instead of praying with them
6 Wearing Headphones while in church
7 Sagging to church
8 Checking out a lovely and cute sister
9 Checking out a brother
10 Discussing with a brother/sister while the service is on instead of concentrating
11 Gossiping about choristers, pastor, a sister or a brother
12 Murmuring when they call for much donations after the normal church offering
13 Toasting a sister in church
14 Toasting a brother in church
15 Flirting with a sister/brother in church
16 Telling yourself in your mind "Oh this pastor should finish up this sermon na so that one would go home"; especially during prolonged sermon
17 Telling yourself "This man should finish this unending announcement".
18 Coming to church so late, maybe shortly before sermon or during sermon.
19 Leaving the church immediately after praises, worship and choir ministration, just as the pastor wanna mount the pulpit to commence the sermon. 20 Carrying 'CD' inside your wallet and go to church
21 Checking out what others are wearing; consciously monitoring the dress, fashion and style of others.
22 Forcing yourself to speak in tongue just because others are speaking in tongue
23 When the pastor calls for first timers and you refuse to step out when you are very sure you are actually visiting that church for the first time
24 When the pastor calls for alter call for those that are not yet born again and you refuse to go for whatever reason when you actually know that you are not born again
25 Walking up and down frequently like 2/3 or more times when you are not an usher
26 Disobeying ushers/church workers, e g when they direct you on where to sit
27 Reading bible portions from your phone ( I am not sure if this is wrong o)
28 Looking at your watch mid-sermon, especially during long sermon.
29 Lusting after the pastor
30 Sitting in front and spreading your legs apart, consciously or unconsciously.

Which number are you guilty of? Lol

5 & 8

Tex42: I guess ladies resisted michael jackson too because he was not bald.as a guy u wld fall for michael let alone the ladies.

How will some one fall for MJ dat looks like willy willy. May b u r talking abt wen he was still black n cute

Wats up @trevolady? Is d trevo in ur moniker abt autoship

RuudNisterooy: Here’s a little task for you my ivyy:
I want you to read this, in your most romantic voice..
And allow it minister to you .
Did you just smile? It’s a pity I can’t see that dazzling smile at the moment…
It’s okay now my lady, you can stop smiling.. let’s get serious!
****************************************************

*Takes her hand and looks deeply into her bright eyes*

Tonight I type in red, ‘cause they say it’s the color of love..
I don’t do stereotypes, but for the fair lady I place every protocol on a lock-down tonight..
The lips can tell unquantifiable lies…
The eyes may speak the whole truth, not.
But the words that the heart bids the hand put down should never be doubted…
I’m not going to woo you with my words… do not pay them attention..
I rather want you to pay attention to my sincerity… Put on those love glasses that Zeus never provided his beloved, and peruse on the ‘words’ behind my words…
They, vain as they seem, are not intended to flatter you..
They are rather meant to expose the truth to the world/NL..
I won’t say thou art a beauty to behold; that the world/NLers can see already..
I wouldn’t say you are a sight to behold; who in the world/NL doesn’t know that?
Neither will I extol your many virtues… it’s like telling the world/NL that white is white; they already can see it. Except those who are color-blind.
Those who do not see your inner and outer beauty are beauty-blind.
I’ll rather tell them and you what y’all don’t know…
That…..
Somewhere, a man in all his imperfections wants you to complete him…. That man is me!
A man wants his shoulders to be the pillow you cry on… I’m that man.
A man treasures and savors the moments you spend online.. again I tick this box.
A man stalks your profile, just to steal lustful glances at your face captured in ‘jpeg’ formats…. I know I’m a sinner.
A man wants you to be a part of his happy and rough moments…. That’s me!
A man wants you to be all of his and more…. How did you shoot that cupid’s arrow? It hit me senseless on the left side of my chest…. Right through to my heart…
Now I’m in a critical state…
How can the birds sing so sweetly, when the words I speak are incoherent?
How can the wind blow so gently, when the breath I exhale is ragged..
Why do I love you so? I can’t say – it just happened, and I think it’s the most beautiful thing.
A thread started it, a glance at your profile revved it up and a single post from you sealed it.
On the night it happened, I tossed and turned in my bed , wondering what it was that took my sleep away… and I could think of only one thing – it was your love.
People think you aren’t active here because you’ve made less than Three Hundred posts.. what they don’t know is that you only post to make meaningful contributions..
They don’t know you’d rather remain silent and watch, than make a meaningless comment.
They fantasize about your body and the things they could do with it, without ever acknowledging your most powerful asset – your mind…
Your mind is made of gold.. and that is no hype!
You’re the perfect definition of a beautiful lady… As flat as that sounds, it is nothing but the truth.. even the world’s greatest antagonistic lawyers can argue against that not.
You sure make the world realize that there’s a huge difference between a ‘beautiful lady’ and a ‘beautiful woman’.
There are things I can’t say, and things I don’t know..
But I do know I want you to be the rainbow that colors my sky..
I do know I want you to be the shadow that has my back…
I do know I want to be the reason those dazzling smiles illuminates your face…
I do know I’d rather fall for you a million times over, than fall for a million girls..
*kisses her on the forehead* You can stop smiling for a bit now love, the radiance of your smile is a torture.
I do know we both have our flaws, but I also know that together we can work things out to an almost perfect level. To a level that is sure to make even Romeo and Juliet go green with envy.
And I do know I want my world to revolve non-stop around you.
I can’t promise you the world, because no matter how hard I try that’ll be impossible to give… but I promise to make you my world…
I can’t take you round the world, but I promise to make you the centre of the world…
For you I can take on difficult tasks like scoring all the goals in a football final match, winning all the bouts in a boxing match against ten opponents… just to lay the trophies at your fair feet.
All my life, mama has always told me “Son, the moment will come, someday, when another lady will take precedence in your life”
And Ivyy sugar, if you’re that lady, then you’re worth every bit of my attention.
*Drops her hands.. Goes down on a knee*
Te amo, please complete me!
From: Ruudnisterooy
To: Pretty ‘fineapple’ ivyy. #MuchLove

The best 4 now

kilokeys: Dechandel, the jewel of the universe
how else can i elucidate your charm if not by the four elements?

AIR
You are as cool breeze to sunstroked soldiers
in d very heat of sambisa

my heart flutters like d wings of d woodpecker
my breath, lost as i get a whiff of your sweet nectar

WATER
Naigara falls short of your strength and beauty
the Iyada stream envies your serenity

the glint in your eyes makes me glad
Tears down your cheek makes me sad

FIRE
I am drenched in d rain and still feel your scalding
In wet September i got hit by love's lightning

the embers of your flame arouses my youth
the floods spared me only to be scorched by you

Earth
you, my love , were made from d finest sands of elegushi
with the tone and depth of soils from Auchi
Clayed and baked in heaven's kiln
with gold dust strewn on ur skin


I'll serenade you with my guitar
Give you roses and chocolates

If i can afford neither,
I'll pick your choice vegetables
Serve you the juice from freshly-cut cocoa pods
while i play your favorites with the native flute

I'll cross the Naira land and Yen river
to hold you in my embrace
trudge over Umuahia to Saudi arAbia
to give u you a gold necklace

dechandel, my angel
why should My son and Your daughter be strangers?

when they can be brother and sister.

Good

Let d wooing begin joor

shockwave91: mtcheeww.....wateva mehn

The forktard is dead

R u singing with me or not?

Y not, let d singing begin jor

Kachisbarbie: I stopped @ a very early age. Mine wasn't a case of I dream seeing myself in the toilet. I used to have lots of nightmares as a kid...we had this curtain in our room, it looks like a man with white canvas in my eyes @9t (or maybe it was a man in canvas)
...so I avoid anything that would make me open my eye and see 'him' before day break. I rather pee on myself than stand up - it was very intentional

R u saying dat d canvas man made u stop bedwetting early or late

donroxy: You were nervious and allowed yourself to be caught off guard .... Interview is like a battle which should be humbly and respectfully fought ...... The best way to win is to win the interviewers !!

Since you were asked ''is that all'' ...
Just tell her ''ohh, thatz all for now'' or humbly add few more .... It is normal to goof But how you correct your errors is the most important !!! .... Be bold and confident !!

''may we meet you'' ....

E.g I'm Donroxy, a graduate of Biology from the prestigious University of Zaria and an associate member of Nigerian Institute of Biologist.... I hail from Abuja Municipal Area Council in Federal capital territory and My primary and secondary education was had in Gudu nur/pry sch and wuse II grammar school respectively in FCT .... I just concluded my NYSC in Sambisa Forest and I'm looking forward to begin my career with this prestigious organisation , Nairaland Nigerian Ltd , Thank you !!

All those thing will be rambled within 30seconds ....be brief and tis better for them to ask u 4 more than you keep talking !!

If they ask 4 more ..... Tell them more :

Mention your skills and experiences and relate them with how beneficial it is to ''NNL'' (nairaland Nig Ltd) then shut up !

If they ask for more :

Mention your strength and weaknesses ( then shut up ) :

they are all about you .....

Don't talk more than a minute or two when answering questions , make it interactive like a conversation with elderly friendly person , you don't wanna steal the whole show nor spoil the show through your responses !!

IMHO !!

Case closed here! This is all there is to it.

dechandel: Lol
How ke?
Wetin i do?

U actually disqualified d guy on arrival, he will have to be OUSTANDING to win ur heart frm d oda 3.
I also understand dat u two joke a lot.

dechandel: No o
Getting a better view here

I dunno where they are o
Just Kilokeys who might be ending up in yaba left if care is not taken

God!!!!! U get mouth!

Sarimah: its not easy abeg

Urs is the hardest decision to make here actually, those two guys are miles ahead but d guy with rhythms is something else. Marieole's is a bit easier and she made d right decision. Though I feel she may like naijaboy offline because d guy is cute.

djeezy: thanks bro. sarimah has turned me into a poet. Love can make u do wonderful things.

U did a great job bro

dechandel: Waiting for the Google lines

Lol

sandijey: Lmaooooooooo. Well one is very very correct o. That's all I can say.......

Elrufai = cramjones
Omenka = new shekau

People dat r queuing to buy dis phone is it dat dey don't have phone dey using or dey just want to buy it because it's d latest.

Ormorlehwah: I mean moi moi, it cant be more dan 3cups and i wil grind it smoothly the way I want.

Me too, I can grind anything on it, its been very long I used it but am a pro in using it.

omenka: Just for future purposes, read my signature.

Thanks.

It's blank, No tnx!

naijafresh: The so called fake Shekau was captured, beaten and summarily executed, so how do we interrogate a corpse for information that can be used to deal with problem of Boko haram from the grassroots or top level

Questions could have been asked
Where do you get funding from?
Where do you get supplies from?
Who supports you?

No professionalism just 'red mist' approach that's why Boko haram will remain a threat with the "kill me I kill you" tactics.

U can't get such info from d devil himself, he is hardened, if u ask him he will start mentioning his enemies as his sponsors dats if he dignifies u with a response. Its beta to kill him instantly b4 his boys kidnaps more pipu and den ask u to release him or dey behead innocent souls. But d pipu he recruited against their will can give u valuable info dats y its beta to rehabilitate dem b4 AMNESTY international will start crying again

ebuetor: i knew it. To me their is no way boko haram can give up that easy. The FG have settled thm behinde closed doors . Forget nigeria army didnt do the work as though. Propaganda tinz. Goodluck predicted the end of bokoharam this month. Is accuracy was just to correct. Someones said, '' why is everything coming out well, when its close to election period?''
even the picture of the dead commander, can be investigated as false. Them jona-list, servant of the politicians, cant deceive us.

GEJ and the nigerian army will keep proving u guys wrong by God's grace. Nothing is ever good to u pipu, u r sad because d BH you use as ur reason for insulting the FG is coming to an end. Wicked pipu! Go and form anoda shekau since u must prove dat he wasn't killed and be killed like the former ones.
We haven't heard anything from sahara reporters again o, dey said shekau is well alive, may be he is an employee of Sahara R

omenka: Nothing pays in Nigeria better than an armed struggle against the government!! Take up arms against the state and see officials falling over themselves to spoil you with goodies!! Protest peacefully for what you know is duly yours and see your assss hurled into jail!!

Naija, I hail thee!!

I thought ur likes where d ones doubting dat any sect member surrendered on d other thread? Always negative, I wonder how u n ur APC will turn dis con3 to USA overnight with dis ur HATE mentality. What baffles me is how u guys hate on the nigerian army that will keep existing even after GEJ and u have passed on. ( If u like insult me, just saying my mind sha)

datguru: I'm not suprised, that's one of the reasons APC niggas call gej clueless

If u r reasonable, u will know dat this is d best idea. If dey kill dem, the rest won't come out, they will start killing more innocent souls in retaliation. And also d northerners eg buhari will say " yaradua gave his pipu amnesty but he chose to kill our pipu" or where u not in dis con3 wen buhari n co where advocating for amnesty?

Enegod: if your bf/gf cant fart or burp in front of you...dont trust the persn

Old story, some girls go give u all d farts on earth and still hide everything from u.

bedfordng: that is the spirit.shyness does makes one loose out from valuable opportunities and info.read this book "why you act the way you do".its a nice novel

Who is d authur? Where can one get it?

AfricanApple: seriously? nothing else works for u aside that? I don't think that's gonna help u cos u meet all manners of people on the Internet, some of them their mission is to be destructive, they don't know you so they don't care about u, its those around you in real that should matter most to you cos u know them, where they come from, who they are, u can decide who to make friends with cos u have seen their characters and either satisfied or not satisfied with it.

though I like my quiet nature cos it gives me d ability to study people but I hate d shyness, it makes me feel as if I'm still a baby

My above comment is a quote gone wrong.
I tried quoting dis lady, am not dat shy

though I like my quiet nature cos it gives me d ability to study people but I hate d shyness, it makes me feel as if I'm still a baby[/quote]Yea, shyness makes some one look like a baby even in d presence of some one much younger than u do.