₦airaland Forum

mjames:
Please how can i get a computer with a hotsport, wifi and a printer connection

Computers don't come with hotspot, but if it has WiFi then you can turn that into a hotspot, all you have to do is download a hotspot app like mhotspot or connectify set it up and you're good to go.

The struggle is real.

That looks like Uniuyo girls hostel.

glimpse33:
I was an angel in heaven as at that that point in time

What did you do to deserve being banished to earth?

RobinHez:
jealous
that stuff is freaky mehn, once saw a picture of a dude with two d1cks on reddit....mehn, i couldnt eat that day....

I saw it too, I agree it's really weird.

Is Ice Prince still signing contracts with Shàdé, Ekene and Femi?

RobinHez:
yeah...but i see them now. nice! but those koalas tho

lol, I know right? I'm jealous.

RobinHez:
wtf? i cant see anything!

Are you using Opera mini?

johnydon22:
There are lots of "shiits" "fvck" "dumb" "garbage" and all other piece of nonsensical vocabulary that is impossible for the science community to use when depicting an astronomical concept. .

The news is just one fantasy and am starting to see the Op as a piece of shiit

Are you so dense that you don't realize that it's a joke?

aguiyi:
no but i read that it has more fresh water and nicer than planet earth . common run off, baboon

You're the baboon here, it's an onion article, it's satire. Idiot.

BuddhaPalm:
The Onion...

Thank you. There are a lot of idiots here

aguiyi:
now that there are more inhabitable planets, can we tell Hillary Clinton and the guys at dupont to stop promoting indirect depopulation ?

Did you even read the article?

WASHINGTON—Calling it an unprecedented finding that fundamentally reshapes how humankind views its place in the universe, astronomers from NASA announced Wednesday the discovery of a planet that makes Earth look like absolute shît.

The space agency’s researchers told the media that the recently identified planet, HD 904790 b, wipes the floor with Earth in every possible way, pointing to the celestial body’s larger size, unblemished terrestrial surface, diverse and verdant landforms, and abundance of natural resources, all of which indicate that Earth is a festering pile of garbage in comparison.

“This is a thrilling and scientifically vital discovery that has substantially furthered our understanding of how much Earth truly sucks,” said lead researcher Lisa Shapiro, emphasizing that Earth appears to be “straight-up dogshît” when contrasted with HD 904790 b’s exceptional terrain and climate. “Just taking into account this new planet’s flawless spherical shape, not to mention its pristine atmosphere free of methane and other toxic gases, reveals that our home world is pretty fúcking pathetic when it comes down to it.”

“HD 904790 b has an extensive ring system that dwarfs Saturn’s, zero tectonic plate activity, and more fresh water in just one of its massive, unpolluted oceans than we have on our entire worthless shitstain of a planet,” she continued. “God, it makes me angry just to think of how much nicer it is there.”

Situated within the Milky Way’s Cygnus constellation, HD 904790 b possesses a frustratingly high number of attractive geological, atmospheric, and hydrological features that we poor saps living on Earth can only dream of, NASA officials reported. In particular, the newly discovered planet is said to contain lush, flowering biomes across all of its 340 million square miles, which reportedly do not include any of the barren tundras, glacial ice shelves, or arid deserts that contribute to Earth’s status as a lousy, second-rate excuse for an inhabitable terrestrial body.

Additionally, the space agency confirmed that the remarkable new planet boasts a perfectly circular orbit around its star, as well as a precisely aligned axial tilt that, in a far cry from the piece-of-shit hurricanes and blizzards that plague Earth, allows HD 904790 b to maintain a constant surface temperature of 75 degrees Fahrenheit year-round with a steady 5-mile-per-hour breeze.
“There’s no way I’m going to keep exploring the galaxy if it’s just going to make me feel like a complete dipshit for ever believing that my planet was anything special.”

“When you take into account everything HD 904790 b has going for it, it makes you feel embarrassed to be associated with our dumb fúcking world,” said astronomer Gary Lopes, pointing to the planet’s dozen colorful, reflective moons that make Earth’s sole natural satellite look like the total joke that it is. “I used to think that the Himalayas were impressive, but not after we received data showing that this new planet has thousands of towering volcanic peaks that blow Mount Everest right out of the water. It’s flat-out humiliating to have to compare our planet against that.”

Noting how even the least remarkable square mile of HD 904790 b far outweighs the very best that Earth has to offer in terms of physical grandeur and mineral richness, NASA scientists told reporters they’ve decided to immediately discontinue their search for any more extrasolar planets, saying that it was “far too likely” that they could discover additional worlds that turn out to be a hell of a lot better than Earth.

“There’s no way I’m going to keep exploring the galaxy if it’s just going to make me feel like a complete dipshit for ever believing that my planet was anything special,” said astronomer Samantha Wilhelm, stating that if her team discovered a planet that was even better than HD 904790 b, she would “fúcking kill [herself] on the spot.” “I even tried observing Neptune for a while in hopes that that gaseous sack of crap might make me feel better about being stuck on Earth, but it didn’t work. I can’t get HD 904790 b out of my head—it’s ruined the goddamn Earth for me forever.”

At press time, NASA astronomers had calculated that it would take them approximately 300,000 years to reach the new planet in a space capsule, but unanimously agreed that it was worth a shot rather than “spend another day on this stupid lump of shît.”



www.theonion.com/article/astronomers-discover-new-planet-that-really-makes--37986

Did you notice anything wrong with this news?

Ikennailex:
but luke13:4-9 says u can die in a traumatic way if ur not holy

I'm not religious, we're done here.

cao:
You know now, my ticket has already been booked, I'm going to watch it on Thursday.

EDIT: Some of the other films I've already booked.

Pixels?! I can't pay for that, I've been burned too many times by Adam Sandler.

How do I use it?

Ikennailex:
so ur ok with decaying after death?goodluck

I'm beyond OK with it, I'm going to be cremated, I'll donate my vital organs and burn the rest to ashes. Do you know why I don't care what happens to my body after my death? It's simple, because I'll be dead!

Why is this in Science and Technology section? Take it back where the easily deceived gather.

Enjoying Wanted: Weapons of Fate after so long of trying to get my hands on it.

Minemrys:
s0mething i learnt from superman films. Krypt0nite is never scarce but the questi0n is why d0n't criminals use it in metropolis. The joker is a maniac but batman will never kill him.

Watch the dark knight returns part 2

intrepid:
My friend Google and don't be ignorant.

Even in Europe and America, kids are seriously affected by music and TV and people complain there too

You know you're lost when you start looking at Americans to learn how to be a parent.

If your child can be so easily influenced by a music video then they have a parent or guardian problem.

ellalina:
Next launcher

I've not used Next launcher in ages but I don't remember it serving ads, it has to be something else.

ellalina:
yea Could it be my launcher?

Probably, what launcher is it?

That is not from the browser, review your app list carefully, at least one of them is serving ads directly to your phones ui

For all the modern tools and heavy machinery found on construction sites these days, one aspect has remained a decidedly manual labor: bricklaying. Just as they did 6000 years ago when masonry was first developed, today's bricklayers still perform their backbreaking work almost exclusively by hand . But thanks to Australian engineer, Mark Pivac, that could soon change. Pivac has developed what he claims is the world's first fully automated bricklaying robot, dubbed Hadrian (yes, like the wall).

"We're at a technological nexus where a few different technologies have got to the level where it's now possible to do it," Pivac told PerthNow. "And that's what we've done." The system will first determine the location of every brick to be laid based on a 3D CAD design, then individually cuts and lays the bricks in sequence. Hadrian doesn't even need to move during the laying process as its 28-foot long boom manipulator is dextrous enough to both set the brick and slather on mortar as well. It even leaves space for pipes and wiring.

The machine is reportedly capable of setting 1000 bricks an hour -- roughly a home's exterior frame every two days or about 150 homes a year -- 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Pivac hopes to further develop and then market Hadrian in Western Australia before expanding to the entire country and then the rest of the world.

www.engadget.com/2015/06/25/robot-bricklayer/

https://static1.businessinsider.com/image/5583319a6bb3f7534d0aa3b0-1200-924/vetigel-product-shot.jpg
Imagine this: you're gushing blood. Nothing seems to make it stop. Then you apply a gel to your wound, and within seconds, the bleeding stops. In minutes, you're healed.

This is the premise of VetiGel, an algae-based polymer created by Joe Landolina — a 22 year-old who invented the product when he was just 17.
Landolina is now the co-founder and CEO of Suneris, a biotech company that manufactures the gel. Last week, Suneris announced that it will begin shipping VetiGel to veterinarians later this summer. Humans won't be far behind.

When injected into a wound site, the gel can form a clot within 12 seconds and permanently heal the wound within minutes, says Landolina.

"The fastest piece of equipment we have measures every 12 seconds,"
Landolina tells Business Insider. "So we know that it happens in less than 12 seconds."
The science that makes this all possible is surprisingly basic.
Each batch of gel begins as algae, which is made up of tiny individual polymers. If you break those polymers down into even tinier pieces, "kind of like LEGO blocks," Landolina says, you can put them into the gel and inject that gel into a wound site.

Once it hits the damaged tissue, whether it's open skin or a biopsied soft organ — livers, kidneys, spleens — the gel instantly forms a mesh-like structure.

"What that means, on the one hand, is that the gel will make a very strong adhesive that holds the wound together," Landolina says. "But on the other hand, that mesh acts as a scaffold to help the body produce fibrin at the wound's surface."

Warning: GIF below contains content that contains severe bleeding
https://static1.businessinsider.com/image/55841f97ecad04202abebe56/vetigel-gif.gif

Fibrin helps repair tissue over the long term. It's what allows VetiGel not only to work fast in sealing leaks, but to actually heal the skin. Within a few minutes of application, the gel can be safely removed.

From classroom to company

For as fast-acting as VetiGel is, its inventor may be faster.
Landolina invented an early version of the gel out of his grandfather's lab. He was still in high school.

As a freshman at New York University, he and a junior entered the gel in a business competition. Up against graduate students and university professors, they were they only undergraduates that entered. They took second place.
Over the next four and a half years, Landolina turned the prototype into a business. His project partner, Isaac Miller, became his co-founder and CFO. VetiGel started taking shape.

Today, Suneris is bringing VetiGel to the (four-legged) masses. The company is currently taking pre-orders from veterinarian offices and will begin shipment from its Brooklyn offices later this summer.

https://static5.businessinsider.com/image/55832f06ecad04c2560aa3af-1200-768/vetigel-application.jpg

The first product in the rollout is a five-pack of five-milliliter syringes that costs $150. Landolina says Suneris has its sights set on a US rollout first, followed by a release in Europe in Asia sometime early next year. The company has partnered with VetPlus, a British company focused on animal medicine, to expand its manufacturing across the pond.

A few years down the line, Landolina says, the goal will be to expand out of vet offices to help treat members of our own species.

He forecasts receiving FDA approval within the year for testing on human wounds. If all goes according to plan, VetiGel will first help military personnel and EMTs treat traumatic injuries. Then it will enter operating rooms and, finally, individual homes.

Landolina says Suneris has yet to observe any negative side effects of VetiGel. The company holds weekly meetings with veterinarians to ensure the product meets their needs.

VetiGel isn't the only wound-healing invention of its kind. Another product, named — oddly enough — Vitagel, also helps the body stop bleeding quickly using similar methods.

A future where we no longer have to make a panicked, blood-spurting trip to the hospital? Sign us up.

m.aol.com/article/2015/06/22/a-17-year-old-invented-an-ingenious-way-to-instantly-stop-bleedi/21199542/?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00001357

I wonder how many magas would believe this.

INTROVERT:
Let them carry on...

Am no saint but they will burn in hell for such distortion of nature.

And you will also burn in hell for passing judgement for God.
Hypocrites.

cao:
Mr. Holmes.

cao, thank you for recommending Kung Fury, I'm in love with that movie now, the absolute overall best parody I've ever seen.