₦airaland Forum

degelinglacis:
It was three o'clock in the morning, Olaonipekun Olaronke Adunni woke up a happy woman. It was her wedding day. She and her best friend Aina had slept late, preparing for her big day at the same time gossiping about their colleagues in the university. Who was married and who was not, who has a job and who was unemployed, who was pregnant and who was not, who was divorced and who was not. It was thrilling to talk about other people or know their secrets. Who would have thought the hairdresser lady in Aina's department was capable of sleeping with one of their lecturers. She was full of herself and acted like a saint and unknown to the world she was a dirty slut who pretends a lot. Aina said she has a video of her and the lecturer making out in his car. Unknown to them, there was a hidden camera in the car while they were busy making the "hoo, haa" noise. The camera was set by the lecturer's third wife. The woman was obviously fed up with her husband's infidelity. And knowing she wouldn't get a dine by divorcing him, she decided to set him up and blackmail him and his side chick. At first she anonymously requested for the sum of three million naira each from them. The man knowing his job and reputation was at stake quickly paid her while the hairdresser could only come up with a million naira. Their blackmailer fulfilled her promise not to release the video to the public. Fast forward three years after, the said lecturer was aspiring to be the vice chancellor of the school. It was obvious he would be made the vice chancellor, that was how Aina came in. Knowing the lecturer's little secret, she bought the video at a sum she didn't disclose to Olaronke who was her boson friend. The video was released to the governing council of the school and that killed his chances of becoming a vice chancellor. Now, Professor Georgina Justice was the VC of the school. Olaronke did not understand the relationship between the woman and her best friend. She said the woman was her mentor and much more. The "much more" was what she would never know. Although she never cared a fig for the lecturer, but she felt bad his career was ruined. And her best friend attitude was baffling, doing all that for her mentor?

She pushed the thought away from her mind, it was her day and she was excited about what it would bring. She got out of bed switching on the light. Her room was illuminated revealing all the careful and well placed decoration. On the left wall was seminude pictures of her which was concealed behind the curtain, she had kept that part of her hidden to her family. Secretly, she longed to be a model but her parent was against that. He hardly allow her to use make up or wear trousers. So she led a double life in school; wearing sultry dresses and partying while at home she wear modest gowns and skirts.

It was on her twenty third birthday, her friend came in with a professional male artist who would draw her nude. At first she was shocked but her friend persuaded her to pose nude for the artist since it has always been her dream to be a model and this was her opportunity. She refused to go totally unclad, with a pink towel covering her essentials, she laid on the couch while the artist painted her. And the second painting was done with her weave on covering her breasts and sexy bum shot was on her. Thinking back on that day, it was a crazy thing to do. And Aina was upset she wouldn't pose nude, well she was not as crazy nor adventurous as her.
The rest of the room had pink color all over. From her wardrobe, to the reading table, bedside lamp, walls, the teddy bears were brilliant pink.

She opened her large wardrobe, it was filled with designer clothes . She was a lover of fashion and she spent good money looking good. Her newest collection was her wedding dress which was a cream cord lace with pink headtie and nice shoes and jewellery. The one that pleases her most was the one she planned to wear on her wedding night. It was a sheer lingerie orange in color, almost a rhyme to her skin color.
It was a night she was looking forward to, a night to discover what happens behind doors.

degelinglacis:
It was three o'clock in the morning, Olaonipekun Olaronke Adunni woke up a happy woman. It was her wedding day. She and her best friend Aina had slept late, preparing for her big day at the same time gossiping about their colleagues in the university. Who was married and who was not, who has a job and who was unemployed, who was pregnant and who was not, who was divorced and who was not. It was thrilling to talk about other people or know their secrets. Who would have thought the hairdresser lady in Aina's department was capable of sleeping with one of their lecturers. She was full of herself and acted like a saint and unknown to the world she was a dirty slut who pretends a lot. Aina said she has a video of her and the lecturer making out in his car. Unknown to them, there was a hidden camera in the car while they were busy making the "hoo, haa" noise. The camera was set by the lecturer's third wife. The woman was obviously fed up with her husband's infidelity. And knowing she wouldn't get a dine by divorcing him, she decided to set him up and blackmail him and his side chick. At first she anonymously requested for the sum of three million naira each from them. The man knowing his job and reputation was at stake quickly paid her while the hairdresser could only come up with a million naira. Their blackmailer fulfilled her promise not to release the video to the public. Fast forward three years after, the said lecturer was aspiring to be the vice chancellor of the school. It was obvious he would be made the vice chancellor, that was how Aina came in. Knowing the lecturer's little secret, she bought the video at a sum she didn't disclose to Olaronke who was her boson friend. The video was released to the governing council of the school and that killed his chances of becoming a vice chancellor. Now, Professor Georgina Justice was the VC of the school. Olaronke did not understand the relationship between the woman and her best friend. She said the woman was her mentor and much more. The "much more" was what she would never know. Although she never cared a fig for the lecturer, but she felt bad his career was ruined. And her best friend attitude was baffling, doing all that for her mentor?

She pushed the thought away from her mind, it was her day and she was excited about what it would bring. She got out of bed switching on the light. Her room was illuminated revealing all the careful and well placed decoration. On the left wall was seminude pictures of her which was concealed behind the curtain, she had kept that part of her hidden to her family. Secretly, she longed to be a model but her parent was against that. He hardly allow her to use make up or wear trousers. So she led a double life in school; wearing sultry dresses and partying while at home she wear modest gowns and skirts.

It was on her twenty third birthday, her friend came in with a professional male artist who would draw her nude. At first she was shocked but her friend persuaded her to pose nude for the artist since it has always been her dream to be a model and this was her opportunity. She refused to go totally unclad, with a pink towel covering her essentials, she laid on the couch while the artist painted her. And the second painting was done with her weave on covering her breasts and sexy bum shot was on her. Thinking back on that day, it was a crazy thing to do. And Aina was upset she wouldn't pose nude, well she was not as crazy nor adventurous as her.
The rest of the room had pink color all over. From her wardrobe, to the reading table, bedside lamp, walls, the teddy bears were brilliant pink.

She opened her large wardrobe, it was filled with designer clothes . She was a lover of fashion and she spent good money looking good. Her newest collection was her wedding dress which was a cream cord lace with pink headtie and nice shoes and jewellery. The one that pleases her most was the one she planned to wear on her wedding night. It was a sheer lingerie orange in color, almost a rhyme to her skin color.
It was a night she was looking forward to, a night to discover what happens behind doors.

FhemmyKW:
the thunder wey go fire u Na 2018 Limited Edition.

TheBlessedMAN:
you see? I said it...you derive pleasure in being stewpid.

TheBlessedMAN:
oh! The prodigal son returns just exactly as I anticipated.

Only this time around, he came back with another dimension in foolishness.

You are really striving hard bro and I must confess, you are quite amazing whenever you behave stupidly.

You are also cute and handsome when you are stupid.

You don't seem to be ok, if you are yet to behave stupidly.

Its like, dwelling in stupidity is like being in a comfort zone to you, just like a 5star hotel.

Welcome bro...the whole word have really missed your talent of stewpidity

I pray May Gawd bless your hustle in your endless pursuit to take stewpidity to a new level. Amen

ThobbyTurner:
Bleep you..must you quote everything

PrinceOFprince:
u are an insolent fool. Idiot

TheBlessedMAN:
4.


From what have seen in the sitting room so far, i was able to guess the financial status of their parents. They are moderately rich.


I keep on thinking of what will happen if Joke turns out to be an agent of Ugliness, should i pretend as if am ok with her appearance and server all ties with her once i get home? Or should i just play along? Atleast if not for anything, but for her parents status.

After what seems like 20mins, i was starting to get suspicious of everything. Number one, why won't she use her picture as profile picture on Fb instead of wordy pics?
Number two, why can't she receive me at the gate herself?
Number three, whats taking her so long to show up? I was already getting pissed and decided to wait for five more minutes.


"Hi". A very nice voice called me out of my thoughts. I quickly looked towards the direction and what i saw was....really, it really broke my heart into a thousand pieces.

Behold Joke, the lady that have earned the last four weeks of my attention on a Wheelchair. Beauty runs across her round face, her petite body sitting beautifully on the wheelchair, her legs were there,but i don't know why she can't walk. From her belly button region upwards, she is arguably much more beautiful than her sister, but the only thing that could have made her standout proudly among her peers are missing.


"Hi.....there". I replied slowly with a placcid smile, not wanting to show my disapointment.


"am sorry for keeping you waiting. I was having a difficult time trying to get here". Ofcos, you will.. I thought.

"It is alright, i was even begining to think maybe Gawd doesn't want to allow one of his angels to see me, you would have met me on my knees if you didn't show up the time you did.". I watched her blush a bit before i extended my hand for a handshake.

"Nice to meet you Joke".

"same here". She reciprocated the gesture. She wheeled herself to the single sitter sofa opposite me and asked her sister that just brought in two glass cups of fruit juice to help her get on the sofa after she handed me my drinks.

"easy there, pls, can i help?". I inquired.

"nope. You don't have to. I can handle her, just enjoy your drinks". Her sister replied softly.



"You know, you didn't tell me your name".

"Me?" her sister asked, turning around and aiming her index finger at her chest with a questioning look on her face.

"Yes na, or i no fit know your name?".


"ofcos you can, am sorry". She replied


"U just led me here without introducing urself to me,.....".

"don't mind my little sister,". Joke interrupts. "she's just been preoccupied lately". She concluded.

"oh that.. Let me guess.. Arsenal spoilt her ticket.?"


"oh no..(laughing), I don't play bet atall, not after our houseboy ran away after loosing all the money Mummy gave him to enrol himself at a tuition center on...Virtuality..".


"it is Virtual, not virtuality, and i wil also run away, if it were me too".

"ok, but do you also play bet? Or how do you know about it?" Joke queried. Why would she want to know that? Its not as if am going to continue this complicated relationship once am out of here. But i decided to be fair to her so i answered.


"nope, i don't play bet, i also witnessed what it can do to someone, after a certain friend of mine, collected a microfinance loan, and he stupidily took everything to the betting house, he was taking to the mental hospital in ropes two days later".


"oh....thats a very tragic one..". Joke said. Time to stop playing hide and seek. Lets get straight to the point. I thought.

"when will your parents be back?." i directed that to the two of them.


"dad is on a business trip and mum will be back any moment from five". Said the younger sister. I checked the time and it was almost five already. I saw the need to quickly say my goodbyes before their Mum comes back and start asking me relationship questions .

"ok guys.. Its been fun with you and as much as i would have loved to stay and hangout with you till Jesus comes, am sorry i have to go". I stopped to see their reactions, and getting none, i continued." i have a match at 5.30 and its very important i get their on time..."

"Wow..do you play football?".asked the younger sister.

"Hmmmm...yes.. I play football".

"ok. Just be safe. When next are you coming to see me? So that we can discuss fully, you know, we haven't talk about us yet". Joke asked what seems like a dumb question to me. What kind of person does she think i am? Am too young to get tied down to one...sorry to say, disabled beauty.


"i can't tell, but i will get in touch." i gave them both a handshake and made for the door.

"maybe i should come and know your place tomorrow". I instantly turned back to know who just spoke.. Guess who... Joke.

"no.. You don't have to bother yourself". I replied and made for the door.

"what if i come instead? In her stead to your place?".the younger sister inquired. Guess my reply..


T.b.c.

TheBlessedMAN:
4.


From what have seen in the sitting room so far, i was able to guess the financial status of their parents. They are moderately rich.


I keep on thinking of what will happen if Joke turns out to be an agent of Ugliness, should i pretend as if am ok with her appearance and server all ties with her once i get home? Or should i just play along? Atleast if not for anything, but for her parents status.

After what seems like 20mins, i was starting to get suspicious of everything. Number one, why won't she use her picture as profile picture on Fb instead of wordy pics?
Number two, why can't she receive me at the gate herself?
Number three, whats taking her so long to show up? I was already getting pissed and decided to wait for five more minutes.


"Hi". A very nice voice called me out of my thoughts. I quickly looked towards the direction and what i saw was....really, it really broke my heart into a thousand pieces.

Behold Joke, the lady that have earned the last four weeks of my attention on a Wheelchair. Beauty runs across her round face, her petite body sitting beautifully on the wheelchair, her legs were there,but i don't know why she can't walk. From her belly button region upwards, she is arguably much more beautiful than her sister, but the only thing that could have made her standout proudly among her peers are missing.


"Hi.....there". I replied slowly with a placcid smile, not wanting to show my disapointment.


"am sorry for keeping you waiting. I was having a difficult time trying to get here". Ofcos, you will.. I thought.

"It is alright, i was even begining to think maybe Gawd doesn't want to allow one of his angels to see me, you would have met me on my knees if you didn't show up the time you did.". I watched her blush a bit before i extended my hand for a handshake.

"Nice to meet you Joke".

"same here". She reciprocated the gesture. She wheeled herself to the single sitter sofa opposite me and asked her sister that just brought in two glass cups of fruit juice to help her get on the sofa after she handed me my drinks.

"easy there, pls, can i help?". I inquired.

"nope. You don't have to. I can handle her, just enjoy your drinks". Her sister replied softly.



"You know, you didn't tell me your name".

"Me?" her sister asked, turning around and aiming her index finger at her chest with a questioning look on her face.

"Yes na, or i no fit know your name?".


"ofcos you can, am sorry". She replied


"U just led me here without introducing urself to me,.....".

"don't mind my little sister,". Joke interrupts. "she's just been preoccupied lately". She concluded.

"oh that.. Let me guess.. Arsenal spoilt her ticket.?"


"oh no..(laughing), I don't play bet atall, not after our houseboy ran away after loosing all the money Mummy gave him to enrol himself at a tuition center on...Virtuality..".


"it is Virtual, not virtuality, and i wil also run away, if it were me too".

"ok, but do you also play bet? Or how do you know about it?" Joke queried. Why would she want to know that? Its not as if am going to continue this complicated relationship once am out of here. But i decided to be fair to her so i answered.


"nope, i don't play bet, i also witnessed what it can do to someone, after a certain friend of mine, collected a microfinance loan, and he stupidily took everything to the betting house, he was taking to the mental hospital in ropes two days later".


"oh....thats a very tragic one..". Joke said. Time to stop playing hide and seek. Lets get straight to the point. I thought.

"when will your parents be back?." i directed that to the two of them.


"dad is on a business trip and mum will be back any moment from five". Said the younger sister. I checked the time and it was almost five already. I saw the need to quickly say my goodbyes before their Mum comes back and start asking me relationship questions .

"ok guys.. Its been fun with you and as much as i would have loved to stay and hangout with you till Jesus comes, am sorry i have to go". I stopped to see their reactions, and getting none, i continued." i have a match at 5.30 and its very important i get their on time..."

"Wow..do you play football?".asked the younger sister.

"Hmmmm...yes.. I play football".

"ok. Just be safe. When next are you coming to see me? So that we can discuss fully, you know, we haven't talk about us yet". Joke asked what seems like a dumb question to me. What kind of person does she think i am? Am too young to get tied down to one...sorry to say, disabled beauty.


"i can't tell, but i will get in touch." i gave them both a handshake and made for the door.

"maybe i should come and know your place tomorrow". I instantly turned back to know who just spoke.. Guess who... Joke.

"no.. You don't have to bother yourself". I replied and made for the door.

"what if i come instead? In her stead to your place?".the younger sister inquired. Guess my reply..


T.b.c.

TheBlessedMAN:
3.

I woke up the following day, around 6.am, i lived in a self-contain apartment that consists of 1 room, 1 toilet and a kitchen. My room served two purposes, Bedroom and Living room, so it was moderately furnished to serve those purposes very well.


I went to the toilet to do what every sane human being will do in the morning before heading for the kitchen to prepare something for myself. I checked the cupboard, i still had two packs of Spaghetti, so i quickly put hot water inside a pot, and put it on the gas stove.(for the sake of Chumzypinky, Pamelb, Smartestpopqueen,and rachealfst that doesn't know how to cook spaghetti, let me teach you).

I waited for the water to reach its boiling point (you can't know that, if you are not a science student), i added seasonings and pepper, i also added a moderate quantity of salt, i applied enough Vegetable oil and i left it to boil together for another 2mins after which i squeeze the spaghetti into moderate lenghts and pours it inside the pot.

While waiting for the Spagg to be ready, i went back to my room, to pick up my Lenovo A850. I pressed the top power botton and the screen came on. messages started flooding in from my whatsapp app, and when i clicked on the app, all the mssg came from one sender, NIKE, my Girlfriends younger sister.

Let me quickly tell you about her before the Spag gets done.


Me and my gf have been dating for close to 8months, i met her on Facebook, i checked her profile, and pics, but i couldn't find any pics to relate to her pics. I also realize that she stays not too far from where i am living my Bacheloristic life.
(i dey come, make i check the spagg.........ok, it remain small. Ok. Lets continue)

I chat her up, and you know, after too much persuasion and threats of commiting sweetcide if she doesn't behave well, she finally gave me her number and we started talking on phone. I spent the first week trying to make her see me as a friend, the second as a lover and the third as an husband material.

So she invited me to her house the fourth week, and i was very glad i will be seeing this lady for the first time.

I got to the address she gave me and i called her to confirm if am at the right place, because, where i was presently was at the front of a mighty duplex.

I waited at the gate for what seems like forever before the gate was finally opened.

And behold, before me, stood a very beautiful young lady of maybe 17yrs old. This girl is the perfect definition of BEAUTY.
She stood at a bit above average height of 5ft 6inches, with a fair complexion and a set of ample breas't with a very alluring oval face that compliments her beauty and stature.

She was claded in an armless pink top and blue jean trousers.


"you are Darous right?"

"yes, i am". I answered and returned my lustful gaze at her lusicious body.

"ok, you can come on in". She ushered, but i was unable to move for what seems like 40mins as i continue staring at this beautiful girl and her body.
'oh gawd of Sango come and see babe mehn? This babe fine no be small. Make i just handle this chick for just 1week, chai, those attentive brea'st go suffer o. Ah, i fit sell my grandpa to ritualist just to take this girl anywhere she wants.. I swear, Sango go repent, if he just jam this kind girl. Omo, i don hit am today'.


"hey Mister, are you alright?". She said, bending down with a confused look and wavering her left hand at my staring face, and that was enough to bring me out of my lustful thoughts.

"Oh.. Hummm (i cleared my throat) you were saying?".

"I told you to come in, and it was as if your mind is out of town". On a normal day, i would have beaten an ugly girl to coma if she used such phrase with me, but this beautiful descendant of Eve is very special.

"oh.. My bad.. Pls am sorry.. Can i come in now".

"Sure.. ". She closed the gate and proceeded towards the main entrance. "Pls follow me". She replied with a smile.

'ofcos, am ready to follow you to Hell, even if the hell is mean't for you alone'. I thought.


She took me to a Largely and tastefully furnished sitting room. She urged me to take a sit and went upstairs.


I was in that position for almost 5mins before she came down the stairs.


"Can i offer you drinks, while you wait for her?". She flashed me that Konji provoking smile again and i was having a hard time controlling my lower department.


I almost replied 'YES' before her last word settled in. 'HER'
I stood up immediately.

"Her?... Wait, which her? Are you not Joke?". I asked anxiously.

"ofcos.. Am not, am her younger sister". She replied taking a step back away at my sudden change in look.

'chai. Sango don suffer. Or is this a joke? It had better be.'

"have your seat, and she will be with you shortly". She walked towards another direction, as i slowly took my seat on the sofa.

'This Joke had better be beautiful like this girl.. Or else.. Sango go vex'.

T.b.c. Wait make i check my Spaggetti. He go don do. BRB.

TheBlessedMAN:
3.

I woke up the following day, around 6.am, i lived in a self-contain apartment that consists of 1 room, 1 toilet and a kitchen. My room served two purposes, Bedroom and Living room, so it was moderately furnished to serve those purposes very well.


I went to the toilet to do what every sane human being will do in the morning before heading for the kitchen to prepare something for myself. I checked the cupboard, i still had two packs of Spaghetti, so i quickly put hot water inside a pot, and put it on the gas stove.(for the sake of Chumzypinky, Pamelb, Smartestpopqueen,and rachealfst that doesn't know how to cook spaghetti, let me teach you).

I waited for the water to reach its boiling point (you can't know that, if you are not a science student), i added seasonings and pepper, i also added a moderate quantity of salt, i applied enough Vegetable oil and i left it to boil together for another 2mins after which i squeeze the spaghetti into moderate lenghts and pours it inside the pot.

While waiting for the Spagg to be ready, i went back to my room, to pick up my Lenovo A850. I pressed the top power botton and the screen came on. messages started flooding in from my whatsapp app, and when i clicked on the app, all the mssg came from one sender, NIKE, my Girlfriends younger sister.

Let me quickly tell you about her before the Spag gets done.


Me and my gf have been dating for close to 8months, i met her on Facebook, i checked her profile, and pics, but i couldn't find any pics to relate to her pics. I also realize that she stays not too far from where i am living my Bacheloristic life.
(i dey come, make i check the spagg.........ok, it remain small. Ok. Lets continue)

I chat her up, and you know, after too much persuasion and threats of commiting sweetcide if she doesn't behave well, she finally gave me her number and we started talking on phone. I spent the first week trying to make her see me as a friend, the second as a lover and the third as an husband material.

So she invited me to her house the fourth week, and i was very glad i will be seeing this lady for the first time.

I got to the address she gave me and i called her to confirm if am at the right place, because, where i was presently was at the front of a mighty duplex.

I waited at the gate for what seems like forever before the gate was finally opened.

And behold, before me, stood a very beautiful young lady of maybe 17yrs old. This girl is the perfect definition of BEAUTY.
She stood at a bit above average height of 5ft 6inches, with a fair complexion and a set of ample breas't with a very alluring oval face that compliments her beauty and stature.

She was claded in an armless pink top and blue jean trousers.


"you are Darous right?"

"yes, i am". I answered and returned my lustful gaze at her lusicious body.

"ok, you can come on in". She ushered, but i was unable to move for what seems like 40mins as i continue staring at this beautiful girl and her body.
'oh gawd of Sango come and see babe mehn? This babe fine no be small. Make i just handle this chick for just 1week, chai, those attentive brea'st go suffer o. Ah, i fit sell my grandpa to ritualist just to take this girl anywhere she wants.. I swear, Sango go repent, if he just jam this kind girl. Omo, i don hit am today'.


"hey Mister, are you alright?". She said, bending down with a confused look and wavering her left hand at my staring face, and that was enough to bring me out of my lustful thoughts.

"Oh.. Hummm (i cleared my throat) you were saying?".

"I told you to come in, and it was as if your mind is out of town". On a normal day, i would have beaten an ugly girl to coma if she used such phrase with me, but this beautiful descendant of Eve is very special.

"oh.. My bad.. Pls am sorry.. Can i come in now".

"Sure.. ". She closed the gate and proceeded towards the main entrance. "Pls follow me". She replied with a smile.

'ofcos, am ready to follow you to Hell, even if the hell is mean't for you alone'. I thought.


She took me to a Largely and tastefully furnished sitting room. She urged me to take a sit and went upstairs.


I was in that position for almost 5mins before she came down the stairs.


"Can i offer you drinks, while you wait for her?". She flashed me that Konji provoking smile again and i was having a hard time controlling my lower department.


I almost replied 'YES' before her last word settled in. 'HER'
I stood up immediately.

"Her?... Wait, which her? Are you not Joke?". I asked anxiously.

"ofcos.. Am not, am her younger sister". She replied taking a step back away at my sudden change in look.

'chai. Sango don suffer. Or is this a joke? It had better be.'

"have your seat, and she will be with you shortly". She walked towards another direction, as i slowly took my seat on the sofa.

'This Joke had better be beautiful like this girl.. Or else.. Sango go vex'.

T.b.c. Wait make i check my Spaggetti. He go don do. BRB.

crislyn:
Don't bring your stupidity here plz...grow up.