₦airaland Forum

Already had too much cigarette 3.0 (SK) maybe that's why I am seeing things d other way round. Smiles.... Dats why I prefer to H2O for now

Walks in, puts the key of my HSE into my chest pocket, heads straight to the bar, says hi to the waitress, she smiles in return then I order for one big bottle of table water and a pack of B&H while I look around goshh she's demmnn hot

My fada's slap would be like; hu hahaha don't make me laugh gboaaaa.... (Laying on d floor at d etreem edge u imagine dis) "shoakan wins.... Flawless victory" actually one sentence isn't enough

Daddy has went out
What is strong with u
To hair is human to forgive is define
I can't fit shout

Paka I wish to be on a mission to borno with a GPMG hanging on one of these, walahi those boys go no d diff betwn soldier and soda

Pls folks let me shed some light on this issue. First of all d holy spirit is nt a combatant neither does he posses d destructive nature of raining fire and brime stones. Secondly God put us on earth dat we may groom our spirit according 2 His will(i.e. Love) there is more about love that ppl dnt undrstand and d devil is so afraid for dat to happen cos hn knws dat with love u get direct contact with d saviour and then u become immune 2 sin. All u need is 2 flee from sin. A man's enemies are d members of his household means parts of himself dat causes him to sin e.g eyes, hands, desire, etc this world operates on principles if u are on d part of light nofing can come near u..

Haven't you read of the story of the old widow who gave in penury; which was her ALL "pension + Salary + ACC Balance, " read what JESUS said about her,
There is a mystery in giving that the poster is yet to comprehend,
REPROBATE MINDS may God have mercy on you,

You aint read nofing yet RAD THIS AND LAUGH YOU RIBS OUT



HOW A SEVEN YEAR OLD DESCRIBES SEX


Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious.

He had been hearing quite a bit about 'making out' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done.

One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend.

This he did. The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother.

"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he
started kissing and hugging her. I figured 'Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking
funny.

He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way
the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding
her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath.

His other hand must have been cold because he put it under her skirt.

About this time 'Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch. This was when her fever started.

I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot.

Finally, I found out what was making them so sick, -a big eel ;had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away.

When Sis saw it, she got really scared-her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down at the lake by our house!

Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden she grabbed it
with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting again.

Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of
the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight.

Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill
the eel by squashing it between them.

After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they
killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were hanging out.

Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting anyway. He
started hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started
to fight again.

I guess eels are like cats- they have nine lives or something. This time, Sis jumped up and tried to
kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet.

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria,

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is,
TEACHER: No, Millie, Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right, 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

1st, I must commend your (poster's) effort in bringing this Topic, Cause I believe its so absurd for a man to beat his wife for any reason, imagine a pilot fighting his co-pilot in a plane 4 whatever reason you know what the outcome will look like,

for me though i am single when my girlfriend offends me even when she overdoes it, i just keep to myself for as long as it takes to apologies, . Imagine a day or a week or even a month without those sweet words, romantic moments, playing times, jokes, outings, shopping spree and most importantly the hmmmm hmmm . etc, I tell you before you know she comes on her knees and if i refuse she begins to cry, damm i hate it when she cries, so i forgive her only if she promises to abstain from all errors,

THATS WHAT I CALL LOVE

Whenever I look around and see those who are expect to take charge of this country in future, fear and uncertainty goes through my mind. (note: pls don’t conclude until u finish reading) my analysis has shown that the average Nigerian youths are divided in two major groups; (1) those who have dreams and (2) those who have Nightmares.

(1) Those who have dreams; They are those who have good plans for their future, but the pathetic thing about this group is that they are subdivided into two; (a) those who will do anything to accomplish their dreams (extremists) and (b)Those who give up immediately after few attempts. Am not saying its pathetic to go far to actualize their dreams; but I believe its pathetic to scam, steal, kill, cheat, maim or falsify certain to actualize you dreams. The worst of it is that they fall into all groups and sphere in this country (u find them everywhere, even in religious and ethnic fields). While others (b) will give up at the slightest difficulty that comes their way.

(2) Those who have Nightmares!!! They are even worse; because they don’t plan nor prepare and if u ask them they will tell you they need to exhaust their vibrancy! (what a shame) they are the types that shuttle from clubs to hotel rooms then to parties, they move to shows, fun spots and then back to clubs and they will always tell u the future is bright (Nightmare)

Pls I know some people don’t fall into these groups but nonetheless we need to start changing this country. We Need A Re-Branding!, We Need Re-Orientation!!, WE NEED A REVOLUTION!!!. SO HELP WE GOD.

There are a lot more breakdowns of these analysis but let me pause here for now.

no no no i would advice you get a super computer mothernoard maybe Craze100000 its just about N250m
very cheap shey?

for ur selection of best antivirus, visit www.moneycomm..com, for zaon, mtn, and glo free pc browsing settings, visit http://naijamoney..com for your free serials, visit www.freeserials.blog.com

thanks alot the infos there are very helpful

Thanks man,
I just discorvered the easiest and safest way of protecting my pc
and that is DEEP FREEZ. it sets a restore point for your pc and nothing in the name of programmes/softwares/viruses /trojans etc can change that restore point.

@lusheyi
how much you go pay (i also have update crack)

None of all thses Antiviruses you mentioned can kill this dreaded worm called sality
infact immidiately sality gets into your PC the first thing it corrupt is you resident Antivirus, then it takes over your Win32 folder, and the damage continues,

@Iwise
i hope you dont encounter the Viruses called SALITY & SALITYINQ.
By the time sality is true with your Computer (Ashan's Computer) na that time you go no say na Avast be the only the best.
Infact you will have 10,000 backup copies of Avast in your Softwares collection

Though it is difficult, yet it is very possible to date a wonan and not touch her, there are so many other things you can do without your hands; i dont thing you really neeeed your hands when doing it, (except you are trying to say no sex in a relationship) next time make your topic very clear because of those with pavass state of mind.

Almost everything that moves in Nigeria must get missing; ranging from plane, to ship, Choopers, busses, cars, okadas, etc. Very soon Train self go dey miss for this country