₦airaland Forum

kalindaminda:
Which kissing? Go back and read the OP. The PDA they were charged with was wearing matching cloth

They should tell the full gist

luckydion:
though church doctrines are different, but this story is not posted
with evidence that it actually happened in the church.

Pease Fear God and Respect His temple.

If u attend a church that can not change u from bad to God then, change and attend another.

Churches are many but go to Bible Doctrine Church.

many of us today may not like such churches that preach the real Christ words

simply because many of these these churches are not populated.

Good one. You know that people these days want the church to conform to their standards and not to conform to the church( and of course Christ's) standards. When we keep relaxing these standards, what do we get, an attenuated church that becomes a harbour for sinners. Yes the church should accept sinners, but sinners are supposed to be uncomfortable with their sins when in church.

Having public sex with your spouse hurts no body, but try it and get arrested in Nigeria or anywhere in the world. Look how we despise gays in Nigeria, and compare it to this. Some things might just seem offensive even when they shouldn't to some people. We know how such simple sexual innuendos are treated with indifference in the society.

hahaha. see as people de bomb church. we should all be careful in the church. You can also see why Muslims do arrange themselves the way they do according to gender. Lets not rush and say things anyhow it comes into our mouths. As simple as it sounds, there are some things that just look irritating. Imagine introducing a new pastor in the church and his first move is to call his wife and start kissing her there. Peeps, kissing your wife ain't wrong but some things just look inappropriate.

pcguru1:
Sorry I read it as you. Amen o

Good, brother. Not your portion too. We cool there?

pcguru1:
true.

yeah i get though however Murder is still the cheapest option so far (forgive my dark humour)

As for the last part, sorry to hear that same thing happened to my step-dad, she got the kids and the kids don't even check up on their dad, i can see it in his eyes especially when his daughter got engaged to a guy and she didn't inform him till she sent the guy's family to meet my/her dad for introduction, I hope you and kids don't have that. all the best

Hey, nope man. That ain't me, I reject it. I said tiger woods. abeg, repeat after me, it shall not be krauss's portion, abeg talk am.

pcguru1:
Actually i get your point, but for the sake of playing's Devil's Advocate let me just pretend i don't.

it's more easier to walk away from something than to stay when it's rough, However the bold part is mostly attributed to us in Nigeria as in the western world, the whole hassle of alimony, and taking away of the child is why so many frustrated husbands don't even attempt it. Come to reddit and check MTGOW and RedPillers (am not one btw), you will see so many men afraid to divorce due to the financial impact, it would be unfair to call them cowards, am even friends with one sef and mehn the consequences are severe. in Nigeria we focus too much on what people think, because ideally it should be easier to walk away in Nigeria compared to western countries, but because he's a staunch catholic i guess he wanted to stick it till the end. so in short words.... RELIGION is the culprit behind all this B.S

My man, alimony or no alimony, some are just too naive and..... make i no talk am. btw, the concept of prenups also attenuate alimony. Also, there are so many people who don't even pay the money designated to them. so many I mean. Again, there are so many ways to circumvent this process. e.g liquidating your assets and transferring them out to other states or countries. Just find someone who is smart as a lawyer. One thing they don't also tell you is, the richer you are, the likelier it is to reduce the penalties or even possibly remove any penalty accruable. Check the recently concluded johnny depp vs amber heard divorce case and how much she got(8 million USD out of more than 400million USD fortune). Tiger woods was just willing to allow ex-wife that much because he taught, well I bleeped up a lot and yep, she gat my kids.

pcguru1:
Nah i would classify this as Porn, especially to Feminazis

hahaha. dominatrix aka femdom. I heard and read about that before. so it really happens.

Ujoan:
You are just displaying your imaturity. Ask the OP, it's not by gra gra or hard man.

And in any case who's talking of making rules. . . . Taking counsel from someone and being ruled are two very different things.

You see why I said it's way beyond your comprehension?

The person wey de do like that man, na him don mature? abeg, the man messed up. Objectively, what defines maturity and how does it really translate to this without eliciting any doubt about his sanity.

OLAFIMIX:
And could this be love, nah handwork of jazz

Many do not really know this, one cannot love another enough when one doth not love himself or herself.

balash:
What am trying to point out is that the men wasn't a weakling, but he was clearly obsessed with his wife. People who are obsessed don't see anything there partner does as hurting, as far as he or she stays. Have u witnessed an obsession in a relationship where the partner comes with the opposite sex and the spouse won't say anything. My brother don't blame it on the man. The late soul was in love, everyone has done something stupid in the name of love. I am not an exception at least I have cried when am heartbroken but never in an abusive relationship. The Lord would clearly just push her outta ma life if she ain't worth it.

Ladies are generally softened soul and for every reason we should always care and pamper them, the fact stands they would be an abusive one but an abusive lady can only be shown true love to change her heart because she's also been in a bad state. We can't treat everybody like a garbage cause we saw the bad ones, even the bad ones should be loved to change their heart. Am not saying it was bad the man finally died but at least the woman in question would regret for the rest of her life loosing out on someone who truly does love her.

THIS IS POO. (FORGIVE MY MADNESS AND ANY ATOM OF ERRANCY. JUST HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS YOUR POST). Even the bible doesn't admonish stupidity. Apostle Paul fled when his life was being threatened. Unless like someone alleges on this thread, the man is jazzed, if not, this is crass idiocy from any man or woman. Clemency is not the same as docility.

youngestland:
Are you for real, please read again

My friends came to the house when they heard i was almost taking my life and refused to go to work, eat of do anything. do you know what is called real depression
Ofcourse as my friends the next thing was how to keep me alive they were ready to do anything just to keep me alive
So they had to arrange someone that will make life meaniful to me again and my dear it is working (life first o my dear)
And i thank them for that.
oh i am sure you females will want me to continue begging her na na na
now i have the strenght to say i want a divorce, you can call this a rebound one way or the other it can change us forever and we wont be the first. lots of marriages started like this AND the ultimate is that i am alive and i have stopped begging someone that i loved so much and gave everything she ever asked for
my friends dont really know her neither does she know my friends and dear i am the best guy you can ever be in a relationship with, my friends call me diff names but they still love and will get my back any time.

I can never batter anyone not to talk of women

Guy i de vex for you. The fact that you still entertain people's opinion that tends to the adverse smacks of double mindedness. It also makes me query the veracity of your story. You should be acting if you have a decision and not doing this on the platform. I just de laugh you sha.

crackhaus:
Just being honest...

I like that. Couldn't accept any less.

crackhaus:
Unfortunately these are the kind of men people like Ujoan and her Nairaland sisters like as a husband.
The type that will wash their bra and panties without complain, cook in the kitchen while they go make their hair and nails at the salon, and listen to all they tell them because the voice of a wife is the voice of God.

Thank heavens there are still men like myself around these parts, the woman that will make rules for me or determine who does what or when in our home, hasn't been born yet.
I will end her before she ends me.

hahaha. you funny man.

erico2k2:
You are very Ignorant . Why don't you go to Israel and see for yourself like I did . Mind you I'm Christian by birth . Go to Israel stop listening to all you are being fed in Nigeria .I live among Jews . If I tell you Jewish people marry themselves would you believe ? They marry thier cozens . Would you believe ? ?

The bible supports marrying from the same clan.

If you are serious with this, you would have sought for legal injunctions or advice from a lawyer. I can't validate docility(sorry if I am being too hard). Do you want someone to hold you hostage? If not, go seek for advice from your lawyer and be committed to that. Don't be a maga like they will always say here on nairaland. I cannot allow anyone to trifle with my emotions. It seems we have not too strong men these days( like rapper Ice t will always say)

Sorry for being this crude. I dislike weaklings. You are still asking for what to do. Spits....What has come over some men in the society.

I believe in the concept of sexual corruption. What you feed your mind is what it will act on. We also grow from strength to strength as we overcome and conquer daily the temptations of sin. In turn, one goes from one point of weakness to a lower point as he accepts sin daily to be a part of him. The question is, how many are ready to let go the throes of the passion of sin. Yes and Yes, how many are ready to suffer the loss of the sweet but destructive taste of fornication and adultery. We all know we can work on this. Aside Christianity, other religions have different ways to tame the carnal mind, there is meditation and so much. The spirit of a man is subject to him.

MurderX:
If we go by nature, then naturally there is nothing like cheating. Nature propels us by our instinct and drives us towards mating for reproduction so evolutionary pull is not in the direction of celibacy but rather in the direction of fvcking for reproduction. It takes a higher realization to make a choice not to "cheat", so naturally men are wired to reproduce, cheating is not a natural term but rather a lawful/ethical invention of a higher being.

Again, sex is very much voluntary notwithstanding the involuntary hormonal transductionary signals that elicit the urge. There is a clear gauge between erec...tion and insertion. Even Joseph at possibly the very lowest ebb of his defence mechanism, was able to free himself from a beautiful and naked woman. I'm sure you at least know that passion can also he tamed. I for one have had ladies visit me bare breasted( seriously) and sit carelessly in my house without doing nothing. One even had the guts to say I wasn't romantic and that she can't marry someone like me if I asked her to. She even said she thought I was gay because she hadn't seen me attached to any lady. Once again, cheating is a choice.

MurderX:
If we go by nature, then naturally there is nothing like cheating. Nature propels us by our instinct and drives us towards mating for reproduction so evolutionary pull is not in the direction of celibacy but rather in the direction of fvcking for reproduction. It takes a higher realization to make a choice not to "cheat", so naturally men are wired to reproduce, cheating is not a natural term but rather a lawful/ethical invention of a higher being.

We know the tracks that lead to death. This is the Bible: psalms 1:1 How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers! 2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night.…. I wish to be very terse but I'd still say this, In my life and I believe in so many people's lives, we know most of the things that would likely expose us to sin but as humans, we sometimes try to engage our curiosity to prove otherwise.

oh jesus. why? why? why? tears.

MurderX:
Cheating is mostly not about sex, a lot of factors are involved. More than 70% of men cheat because they are unhappy in their marriages, many for companionship, friendship etc. and not for sex.

are you wired to cheat or is it a choice?.simple question

Ma'am, don't ever allow anybody convince you that men are wired to cheat. I am not wired to, neither are so many others. Cheating is a decision one makes. Even you as a woman, yo sometimes have urge for sex but decide most of the time to get the satisfaction from your husband. Rem. never allow anybody convince you it is natural for men to cheat. Anybody who says that should personalize it.

sweetrace:
Ha!!! Obscure here means ambiguous which causes the confusion. Not all synonyms can replace each other. You used it in a bombastic way.

check well for the word obscure.

sweetrace:
Please, how do they obfuscate it? Obfuscate means to confuse or to make unclear.

also means make obscure. obscure: to conceal.

Mods, I wanna puke. Can you help obfuscate this eyesore.

Seun:
What I would suggest is to have a honest discussion about something important that you disagree on. If it goes well, then maybe you're ok.

I think, this is cool and a better approach.

How will they determine the type of quarrel to engage in? How certain are you that quarreling over a particular issue will provide the right test to the core values under scrutiny expansive and flexible enough to incorporate other remote issues that might come up during the marriage? Most of those who quoted my comments have still not provided an answer to the questions asked. I hope we are aware of people called pacifists? For me as a Christian, my most dreaded part of the scripture is, love your neighbor as you love yourself. No matter how many times I hurt myself, I will still love myself. I sometimes try to correlate the agape love with the with the type of love we have today in marriages. I want to refer most of us to the case of KELLY RENEE GISSENDANER( we can google it) who was executed about 2 years ago. Imagine that her husband survived that. Agape love in that case still insists that he forgives her completely even to the point of saving her with his life if necessary. I don't think my kinda love has gotten up to that level but I know that is what the bible teaches and what is right. That also should be a model for Christians whether in marriage or outside it. I wish someone can start up threads like this for us to ratiocinate some of these things.

Ezionye:
I think you are getting it from the wrong view.

There would always be disagreements and/ or quarrels in a relationship and the pastor may have been trying to ensure that they are prepared to handle such when it comes.

Even the bible says " do not let the sun go down on ur anger" acknowledging that there could be cause for anger but how u handle it to ensure u don't hurt any1 or remain angry is key.

My own submission

Lets take it this way, the couple might know there is the possibility of dissention but does it mean they have to deliberately annoy themselves to test for such traits as forgiveness and longsuffering. I ask again, must we test sincerity and compatibility with the proceeds of fallibility? I still don't accept that making quarrel an agenda as a prerequisite for marriage as it doesn't sound right. I also
believe that being quarrelsome is not a desirable trait. You know what it sounds like? It sounds like
saying, go and have sex with your partner so we can be sure you are sexually compatible. One question,
will Jesus advice same as the pastor? You see, the bible deemed it fit to say, seek peace(not quarrel) with
all men

Ezionye:
I think a quarrel is a degenerated disagreement.
As different individuals, we are bound to disagree on certain things. But the way we handle disagreement could then cause quarrels ( the shouting matches and all). However, both are part of relationships.

I think the pastor was trying to emphasize on the couple knowing and understanding that quarrels are bound to happen and to probably develop a way of preventing or checking such early enough.

I still don't accept that making quarrel an agenda as a prerequisite for marriage does sound right. I also believe that being quarrelsome is not a desirable trait. You know what it sounds like? It sounds like saying, go and have sex with your partner so we can be sure you are sexually compatible but on the other hand, we are saying premarital sex is bad. One question, will Jesus advice same as the pastor? You see, the bible deemed it fit to say, seek peace(not quarrel) with all men

How many Nigerian married people can you confidently say have and show the same affection to each other as when they got married after many years of marriage and don't you think that this might be the result of constant quarreling. See why I said that this submission is wrongly premised. It was big news the other day on Nairaland someone posted that her parents still bath together after 40 years of marriage. How many can confidently look into there spouse's eyes and cuddle them passionately for more than 10 minutes in secret ( no be for public where they force them to do it)