₦airaland Forum

booqee:
Let try dis game.
Do u knw ur shoe size can tell ur
age?.
Grab ur calculator & try dis.
Here is hw it goes.
1) Take ur shoe size.
2) Multiply by 5.
3) Add 50.
4) Multiply by 20.
5) Add 1012.
6) Subtract d year u were born.
U will get 4 digits.
The 1st two is ur shoe size & d
last two digits is ur age.
If i'm correct,pls let me knw.

Btppolitics:
The Federal Government on Wednesday announced the removal of subsidy on Premium Motor Spirit,PMS, otherwise known as petrol, meaning that Nigerians will now have to buy the product for N145 per litre.

Before now, the Vice President, Prof. Yemi Osinbajo and the Minister of state for petroleum resources, Dr. Ibe Kachikwu had hinted on the removal of the controversial subsidy which is believed to be the major cause of the crisis in the nation’s petroleum sector.



However, BOVAS filling station who became popular via social media, for selling petrol at the normal price of 87 Naira per litre even when other filling stations were selling at 120 Naira per litre has decided to follow the band wagon.

BTPPoliticsToday gathered that BOVAS petrol station as at this morning, 12th May 2016, has jacked up her PMS pump price to 145 naira per litre, yielding to the pressure from the FG and to the disappointment of it’s faithful customers.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1X0n0Tm2jSk

9jaMalay:
Hi...if u are still single and searching and u were born in July,u dey dull because we are born as sexual and great lovers...

Yall drop ur numbers or bb pins here lets mingle and hopefully before our next birthdays in July, we would meet our dream better half...

Powered by: dating by 9jaMalay

dre11:
http://newtelegraphonline.com/obasanjo-drops-bombshell-successors/

swizzdre:
his tombstone should read ' here lies a deluded brainwashed idiot'

ademoladeji:
Blood of Sule!!!

Honourable Minister of Booobs Affairs, the scaffolds can not be removed at this point in time because the Abooki that sells Vaseline has gone to Mile12 market and Aboniki cannot be used in lieu.

Chai! Those Melons are super massive!!! Madams HateU2 and Naughtynaughty, make una drop una egos n come receive blessings.


Yepa!!!

Thewrath:
In this country,ordinary pipeline is more important than human life.


Modified:for those quoting me,no be who dey alive dey use light and fuel?
Do the dead use light and fuel?
How would those killed by herdsmen in Enugu and other parts now use the fuel and light(that it's price is to now sell over #100).

lamzybaby:
Not less than 800 members of the Boko Haram group are currently undergoing vocational skills training in form of amnesty under the supervision of the office of the Chief of Defence Staff, CDS.


Director General of the National Emergency Management Agency, NEMA, Alhaji Sani Sidi who dropped the hint today in Abuja, explained that the programme under which repentant Boko Haram insurgents are being rehabilitated tagged: “Safe Corridor Initiative", was conceived purposely to provide a leeway for them to turn a new leaf.

http://nigerianpilot.com/finally-fg-gives-amnesty-800-repentant-boko-haram-insurgents/

https://nigerianpilot.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Boko-Haram-11.jpg

Itulah:
Pop quiz: Which oil rich economy hammered by the global slump in crude is in the throes of a full-fledged economic crisis — complete with rationing, civil strife and runaway inflation stoked by a weak currency?

If you guessed Venezuela, you'd be wrong. Although the South American country teeters on the edge of collapse and fits the above scenario, those same circumstances actually apply to Nigeria. Once a powerhouse of West Africa's economy, the effects of slumping oil prices have converged with mounting security concerns and widespread energy shortages.

The OPEC country, which produces more than 2 million barrels of oil per day, is resorting to rationing crude: In order to fill their tanks, citizens must endure long lines overseen by authorities.

Nigeria "is caught in a macro hurricane," famed short seller James Chanos told the annual Sohn Investment Conference last week. With currency reserves running low, the country could have "a big problem" within a few years, he said. Calling the country "a borderline failed state," Chanos added that he was shorting South African assets, in part because of their exposure to Nigeria.

In the year that Nigerians elected a new president, oil prices collapsed by at least 30 percent. This week, Nigeria's stock market staged a relief rally after the closely watched MSCI Frontier Markets Index decided to keep the country in the benchmark, after warning last month that Nigeria was at risk of being booted from the index.

Still, the outlook for Africa's largest economy remains grim. The extremist group Boko Haram has created significant political and security challenges for the embattled government of Muhammadu Buhari, and raise risks that could hit oil production.

"Nigeria is in trouble," Steve Hanke, a professor of applied economics at Johns Hopkins, told CNBC in an interview. Amid double-digit inflation, Nigeria's foreign reserves are dwindling as the government races to shore up a swooning currency, the naira.

Using a purchasing power parity metric, Hanke estimates that the country's prices are surging by a whopping 46 percent, far above the official rate of between 11 and 13 percent.

Weak growth — Nigeria's economy expanded by less than 3 percent last year — has done little to curb soaring food prices, which have risen every month since December 2015.

Meanwhile, oil prices remain firmly under $50 per barrel, heightening the risk of what consulting firm PricewaterhouseCoopers noted in a 2015 report could become a "security shock," as weak growth feeds political instability. Currently, the country's 2016 budget assumes an oil price of $38 per barrel.

Razia Khan, chief economist for Africa at Standard Chartered, expects crude will rise later in the year, but growth is likely to remain muted. Khan noted that the International Monetary Fund "expects growth to decline even further in 2016, to 2.3 percent."

Oil gives Nigeria around 95 percent of its foreign earnings. Should crude remain at current levels, PwC expects growth to contract and oil revenues to dwindle to $20 billion. Meanwhile, the currency has already overshot PwC's worst-case forecast for this year, blowing past 320 to the U.S. dollar recently.

"The currency is junk and the government is incompetent and corrupt," said Johns Hopkins' Hanke. "The only sure-fire way to solve all these problems is for Nigeria to officially replace its junk currency."

Nigeria still has limited access to capital markets, and a $6 billion currency swap agreement with China may help contain the naira's losses. Yet with oil still hovering near historic lows, analysts are skeptical Nigeria will see a turnaround anytime soon.

"Following a tumultuous year for the naira in 2015 we believe the any recovery in the currency will have to be supported by a marked improvement in the crude oil price," Standard Chartered's Khan said, adding that oil would need to rise to near $55 to offset the effects of an "oversupplied market."

— CNBC's Dawn Giel contributed to this article.

http://www.cnbc.com/2016/05/06/nigeria-goes-from-powerhouse-to-pariah-as-hurricane-hits-economy.html

Vomm:
Na God go punish Buhari and his followers!

Jona dey corupt Jona dey corrupt but We were living comfortably! Parent cud feed their family well without much hassle.

Everything Jona left had. Been turned upside down, buhari, walahi devil no go spare u at all

Now, parent cud hardly provide 3 square meals, no paRents dey ask whether u don belleful again, wetin dem dey askna shey u don chop at tall.

With the present condition of the country, no money, no salary, no. Fuel, no light, no water,no everything.

All of u that forced this dullard on us, devil sef no go spare u all.

Foolish zombies!!!

sben2308:
D tithe card is necessary because it make it easy to audit ones account.I am my church accountant and auditor .The tithe card makes it easy to audit and also prevent some greed ushers from stealing church money ...

haywire07:
I don't really need to start explaining the importance of tithing.
Of course we all know paying tithe of every income is necessary but I attend a church where every tithe you pay is recorded in a tithe book with a your name boldly written on it .
The motive behind it is definitely not for show off but I don't feel convenient with the fact that the deacons who will count the money would know how much and how regularly I pay my tithe.
Secondly, we tithers are asked to come out every with our tithe book for prayers before dropping it in d tithe box. I feel shy doing that , especially when I think of those girls who will be like "hmmmm, haywire don dey pay tithe , d guy don get money b dat" .. I feel so inconvenient.
The truth is, I've been unable to pay my tithe for a while now, though the cash is intact .

Today is Sunday again and am still bothered.


the church you attend is rccg..... abi i lie



Thanks

Topiipii:
I just came across a post shared on Facebook by a certain 'Bimal Nandana' which contains everything you need to know about tyres, having this information is very handy especially when buying a new tyre.

Source: https://www.facebook.com/bimal.nandana/media_set?set=a.1197381386962478.1073741830.100000718838852&type=3

aminulive:
EFCC on Thursday May 5, 2016 arraigned one Irene Okeoha before Justice S. C. Amadi of the State High Court, Port-Harcourt, Rivers State on one-count charge of stealing to the tune of eight million naira (N8, 000, 000. 00).
Okeoha, who is the customer service manager, Ecobank Plc, Hotel Presidential branch, allegedly defrauded the bank of the sum of eight million naira.
The charge read;

“That you, Mrs. Irene Okeoha on or about 17th February, 2016 at Hotel Presidential Port Harcourt, within the Port Harcourt Division of this Honorable Court did fraudulently steal the sum of N8 million only, property of Ecobank Plc and thereby committed an offence contrary to Section 390 (9) of the Criminal Code CAP 37 Vol. 11 Laws of Rivers State of Nigeria 1999.”

When the charge was read to her, the accused pleaded not guilty and the prosecution counsel, Ben Ubi, urged the court to fix a date for the commencement of trial and to remand the defendant in prison custody.However, the defence counsel, B. Igeongei, prayed the court to grant his client bail as the accused was already on administrative bail by the EFCC.

Justice Amadi granted the defendant bail in the sum of N20 million and one surety in the like sum. The surety who must be resident within the jurisdiction of the court should possess a landed property to be verified by the prosecution. The Surety is also to depose to an affidavit of means.

Justice Amadi adjourned the case to May 25, 2016 for trial and ordered that the defendant to be remanded in prison custody pending the perfection of her bail.
http://dumebiifeanyi.com/eco-bank-manager-arraigned-n8-million-fraud-photo/

metromediaboss:
Minister of Finance, Kemi Adeosun, was on Channels Television Sunrise Daily this morning.

Adeosun, who provided answers to series of questions posed to her by the ChannelsTV discussed extensively on some of the economic activities of President Muhammamdu Buhari.

Here are highlights of the interview:

- Many prominent actors in in previous govt as state governors who vehemently opposed efforts by FG to save excess crude, and insisted the money should be shared are now ministers in current government and are pointing fingers accusing previous government of not saving:

Ans: I don't want to hold brief for anybody. But even if the states did not save, the FG should have saved its own portion

- Are we now saving excess funds? Ans: No we are not savings because you cannot save when you are borrowing. We are borrowing and struggling to pay salaries

- How much money has been recovered so far? Ans: I don't have that figure

- What is the current amount in excess crude account? Ans: I don't have that figure. You (Maupe) quoted it sometime ago. I think it is $2.1b or $2.2b, I am not sure of the amount.

- We have some people complaining of TSA, eg ASUU? We are working with universities and CBN to see if we can grant exemption to them

- They put a blame on govt on leakages. Is it something your ministry can fight? Ans: Absolutely. Last year, we spend N19b on roads and N64b on travels. We are trying to limit travels and the flight class of various govt officials.

- How are limiting leakages in govt? Ans: We are trying to introduce debit cards for routine govt expenditures.

- Has this debit card kicked off? Ans: No we are trying to get proposals from 3 banks, then we shall go through learning process

- How are you aligned with CBN on fiscal and monetary policies. CBN should be doing monetary, and your ministry should be looking at fiscal. Ans: We are trying to align.

- Are you in IMF programme? Ans: No we are not IMF programme.

- Do we have an economic Team? Ans: We have an economic team

- It will shock you that Nigerians do not know those who are members of the economic team. Ans: (Becomes upset) Don't you know the ministers? Don't you know me. VP Osibanjo, Min of State & budget, Min of Info, Head of DMO, etc are members

- What is the Economic blueprint? Ans: We are going to invest in infrastructure. We are going to diversify the economy. If we can feed ourselves, it will energise the economy.

http://www.metronaija.com/2016/05/full-transcript-of-minister-of.html


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pxDvOAwBEE

dre11:
Senate shutdown for one week over PDP congress




http://www.dailytrust.com.ng/news/general/senate-shutdowns-for-one-week-over-pdp-congress/145503.html

https://thenationonlineng.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Saraki-new.jpg

naughtynaughty:
ladies all over the world are always adviced to protect their Cookie ( Vajaja) till marriage. As it's usually written : close your legs tight like Mami water.

Ok fine, sounds cool but pls lets view dis scenario:

Let's say the very first time you sleep with your husband is on your wedding night.
What happens when your husband know little or nothing about sex?
What happens when your husband doesn't know even how to position himself in a missionary style/position?


What happens when you realize suddenly on that excited wedding night that you have finally entered one chance regarding sex? What happens when you suddenly realize you need to even show your husband where to put his penis, how to put it, how to sit on top of you, how to go in the upward and forward thrust, how to feel , how to touch you and where to even touch you? What will you do?
Will you ever ask or advice another woman to marry without sexually been active with the spouse ?


Do you know most men who insist on sex ONLY after marriage HAVE a somewhat problem sexually or physically ?


This scenario can be more bad when d bride isn't a virgin..cos this can mke d lady to start looking out for someone that can satisfy her. I know some pple will come here and say
They wuld pray and fast for him to start learning, listening and knowing sex and understanding intimacy in marriage. What if he is impotent?

How do you pray for a miracle to happen so that a man learns the act of sex?

Personally can u practice no sex till after marriage? Will u advice anyone to practice it? Pls share ur view

Cc lalasticlala

valencia25:
Apply for the masquerade job. Thank me later

FlirtyKaren:
The love Tiwa Savage and Teebillz shared when this tweet was made exists no more. It's scary how love can fall apart so easily in just 3 years!

http://www.lailasblog.com/2016/04/tweet-of-day-featuring-tiwa-savage.html

ishaqteejay:
where can i buy them nd how much. Mine is maxiforce nd super grow

igbokwesampson:
Yhello fellow nairalanders , how are guys doing? its weekend again and hope your week was fruitful? despite the harsh economy, there is still need to enjoy your life as the future is promising especially with God on the steering. Though am not an authority in this field like Tosin2much, i present to you 10 category of husband you will most likely find in Nigeria , enjoy your weekend
[img]
Nigeria gals will fancy number 10, but they prefer number 9[b][/b].

1: BACHELOR HUSBAND
Does things on his own without consulting wife. Hangs out a lot with friends more than wife. Not serious about marriage life.


2: ACIDIC HUSBAND. Is always boiling like acid and always angry violent, moody, dominating and very dangerous

.
3: SLAVE HUSBAND
Wants to be treated like a King but treats Wife like a Slave. Likes wife to perform old tradition respect and hates being called by their first name.

4: GENERAL HUSBAND
Husband for every woman. loves and cares for girlfriends more than his wife. Likes giving money to girlfriends and has more female friends. na this group they like other ppls wife pass their own, them the carry family matter come social media . hmmm


5: DRY HUSBAND
Very moody and stingy, doesn't consider wife's emotions, doesn't make the relationship enjoyable. Has no sense of humor.


6: PANADOL HUSBAND
Uses wife as problem solver, only loves wife when needing something from her. Is clever and knows wife's weaknesses and capitalizes on that to get relief from wife.

7: PARASITE HUSBAND. Lazy and only loves wife for the sake of money. Uses wife's money on girlfriends. No initiative and does not help wife with house responsibilities, e.g Doro husb and, i no talk anything oooo

8: BABY HUSBAND
Irresponsible and childish and can't make decisions on his own without asking his Mother or relatives; compares Wife to relatives and runs to them always if something goes wrong.


9: VISITING HUSBAND
Not always at home, comes as a visitor. Provides family all material things but has no time for them. hmmmm nija politicians dey for this group


10: CARING HUSBAND
Caring and loving. Provides material and emotional needs and makes time for family. Guides home spiritually. Very responsible and treats wife as partner and helper.


feel free to add yours , HAPPY WEEKEND

amtaken:


Punch is as daft as Buhari.

Mztarstrechy:
The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission EFCC is currently investigating a case of ATM racketeering involving one Muhammadou Ibrahim who was arrested while on transit to China for carrying 130 ( one hundred and thirty) Automated Teller Machine, ATM Cards of two different Nigerian banks and a Chinese bank, concealed in a carton of Cherie instant noodles.

What is the thing about access bank that fraudsters are eager to scam an holder of access bank account
A fraudster called me recently and was particularly interested if I operate an access bank account telling me to give him the last four digits of atm card for him to help me activate my Bvn number.

Be careful


The suspect was nabbed at the Mallam Aminu Kano International Airport, Kano. Upon being interviewed, he claimed to be a Nigerien with passport No. 09PC71337, bearing Muhammadou Ibrahim. However, preliminary investigation revealed that Muhammadou is a businessman that deals in costume jewelry at the kasuwan kofar Wambai market in Kano.

The suspect will be charged to court as soon as investigation is concluded.

Source: http://www.trezzyblog.com/2016/04/nigerian-man-on-transit-to-china.html