₦airaland Forum

pinkycute:
My name is not on DAT list above


Maka Y

Not happy duo

Don't worry dear! don't mind those guys, I see that as reeks of jealousy, whenever I wanna put mine u will be the first and be written boldly...

ChubbyT:
Uw :-)

Anything for me?

ChubbyT:
wat abt u

I remembered before u quoted me, anyway thanks.

ChubbyT:
sure,ntin crious jare. Wbu

Am sorry, I don't understand that "wbu"...

ChubbyT:
Tnx buddy,n same to u too.

So what's going on, hope all things are going on fine?

ChubbyT:
doin gud. U?

Same! merry "Christmas" in advance. lol

ChubbyT:
wah maks it childish

What's up? hw u doing?

ChubbyT:
wah maks it childish

What's up? he u doing?

@op one pics and two different names their, i am confused, are those ladies scamming themselves their?

iaatmguy:
14Th #val born

My date of birth date nice!

pwreshbawz:
how is this funny

I didn't know the century when folks like u will start meriting people's effort, precise I didn't draft that to impress u so stop using that ur thumb to start asking discourteous question, if at all u find if very difficult to understand the write-up u don't need to sound in an aggressive way so "Divorce your Ego"...

Got it from a friend of mine what he really experimenced.It's kind of long one, but promise me you won't skip
to the punch line because it's pretty damned funny . . .

Before I get into the joke I need to tell
you ANOTHER joke first . . .

"How do you tell if a woman in Las Vegas is a
prostitute?"

"She makes eye contact."

OK, now that that's out of the way . . .

A couple weeks ago my buddy Jared was
in Las Vegas when a beautiful woman
in a tiny black cocktail dress
made eye contact across the Casino floor.

Jared felt a shiver go right down
his spine and right to  his crotch the moment
she looked at him.

She was gorgeous. Tall. Dark eyes.
A sway to her hips.

The woman walked over to Jared
and he bought her a drink.

She laid a hand on his bicep. Then
she laid a hand on his thigh and he felt
himself strain against his pants.

"So." She said. She gave him a little
squeeze.

"So." he said. "Uhh . . . um . . . how
much for a hand job?"

"A hand job," she said? And the words fell out
of her mouth like honey.

"Yeah. Yeah. How much for a hand job" he sputtered.

"A hand job is $1,000" she said, plain and innocent
like she was giving him directions to the mall.

Jared felt nauseous in his stomach.

"$1,000?," he said. "$1,000 for a hand job? What . . .
What makes your hand jobs so good that they're worth $1,000 dollars"

A tiny smile crept across the woman's lips.
"Come with me," she said and she slithered towards
the casino door.

Jared followed her outside.

"Do you see that Denny's down the street?," she said.

Jared looked and saw a Denny's about a quarter mile down
the road.

"Yeah."

"Do you see that other Denny's a little further down?"

Jared strained his eyes, but he saw it. Denny's are thick
on the ground in Vegas.

"I own BOTH of those Denny's because I give a hand job
that's worth $1,000."

Jared swallowed hard and looked for an ATM.

When the hand job was over Jared lay in
his hotel bed in a state of shock.

It had been amazing. The greatest hand
job he'd ever received. He wasn't even
sure he'd ever be able to masturbate
again because it would pale so much in
comparison.

Every muscle in his body was slack.
He felt . . . warm. Happy. Safe.

The woman walked out of the bathroom
drying her hands. She started walking
towards the door.

"Wait! Wait," Jared said.

"Uhh . . . listen. That was . . . that was
amazing. But I have to know . . . I just have
to. How much for a Mouth Action?"

"A Mouth Action," the woman said (or maybe
she purred?)

"A Mouth Action is $5,000."

"$5,000!!!!" Jared almost screamed. "Listen,
you just gave me the greatest hand job of
my life, but what the heck makes
your blow jobs worth $5,000?"

The woman walked towards the hotel
window.

"Do you see that hotel across
the street?" she asked.

Jared looked at the hotel. It wasn't
a huge casino or anything, but it was a nice
hotel with maybe 100 rooms right off
the strip. It was easily worth millions.

It had gargoyles that seemed
to stare at Jared with beady, hungry
eyes.

"Yeah. I see it."

"I own that hotel because I give
blow jobs that are worth $5,000."

Jared knew he was sunk. He couldn't
afford it but he HAD to know what
this woman could do with her mouth
that was worth $5,000 . . .

He went downstairs and got her a cashier's
check.

And the Mouth Action was . . . amazing . . .

It was a religious experience for Jared. He felt
his body and his soul separate. He felt loved
and wanted. He felt powerful. He felt all
the stresses of his life . . . his wife . . .his
kids . . . his job that he hated so much . . .
just fade away.

And when she was done he just lay there
in total, absolute bliss . . .

He heard the woman gurgling with mouth
wash in the bathroom. She picked up
her purse to leave.

And even though he didn't WANT to say anything
because he KNEW he couldn't afford it
he couldn't help himself . .

"Wait! Wait!"

She stopped.

"I have to know. How much for
the pu**ssy?"

"The pussy?" she said and
she saw a twinkle in her eye.

She walked back to the window.

"Do you see Las Vegas out there? Do you see
the giant casinos, the monstrous hotels,
the hot dog vendors, the strip clubs, the
bright neon signs, the roller coasters, the theaters,
the working girls . . . do you see the cabs and
and the bouncers and the slot machines? Do you
see ALL of Las Vegas out there covered in light
and pulsing??"

Jared's mouth went dry. "Yeah, I see it."

"Honey, if I had a pu**ssy, I'd own all of that too."

@ op those pics are old she as even forgotten she snaps that, get updated!

Afrok:
Cool but that call from old friend should be "call from boo with a promise that he'll send the money the next day" .

yes that's true. Lol...

Hollyb:
Hi

what's wrong with your number?

IamOpemipo:
@ OP...can u read dt?

Dis is the least to xpect frm som bad ass dudes on NL..dey goin finish u so much u'll del ur nairaland acct plus ur phone browser

Yes it's dt crazy

Don't waste ur energy on that little micro-phallus,he is so ugly... they used to push his face into dough to make gorilla biscuits.

ChubbyT:
wah maks u think so??

My heart makes me think so, and I think u're aesthetical.

ChubbyT:
y me

Because u deserve it, and i will be honoured!

ChubbyT:
its a gud tin.

Always a good thing, and it might be from u...

killercute16:
Ignore the kid jor....he isnt worth your stress.

If not for u bro i was expecting if to quote me again, since he believe he can just come on here to lash-out, he will ever receive the most lashes of his life time and he most get discourteously get lashed... Thank for your "Maturity"... He is lucky!

Allureoftheseas:
just one of those ugly, filthy and irritating lifeless waste products i was expecting to show up.

U talking to me?

Blurr:
nt a Nigerian tho

Ok!

Blurr:
1) dark skinned
2) fat
3) bad english :x
4) Lack of assets :O

See Nigeria "Ballotelli"

Allureoftheseas:
ok i have been going throught lots of profiles and all i can see are bunch of ugly guys showing off. please if you are ugly do not upload your picture as i am allergic to ugly, poor and worthless people. thank you.

echobee:
. Just passing

Allureoftheseas:
Thanks.

Wonderlands:
Op confirm.nigga.

Allureoftheseas:
Thanks.

Just see 2 idiots birds of the same feathers, am coming back for u both dumbers!

Allureoftheseas:
ok i have been going throught lots of profiles and all i can see are bunch of ugly guys showing off. please if you are ugly do not upload your picture as i am allergic to ugly, poor and worthless people. thank you.

@ dumb op we are coming for u i will be back at u little boy, u will ever regret creating the crap..........

ChubbyT:
dis once na big turn off walai.

I need a luv

ChubbyT:
yea,d op said silly reasons,dats y.

What wil piss me off again is body and mouth odour

ogaofficer:
oya cum chop knuckles . . . . You are mouthed Mouthed.

No "cum" there oh or else u go clean everywhere!

ChubbyT:
didnt say so.....i mean,wen sm1 s chewing with a grinding,crunching sound.

I dislike those things, but God gave much qualities u will like.

PROCTOR:
None of my busyness cos i don't watch them.......And i know football will never be played unclad

U know scores jare, wetin concern me with them, who
still dey sitdown for front of TV dey watch dem
nowadays? they are all piece of craps...

rafmike:
clowns

Who is this dumber quoting me, are u lost or something? u most be silly approaching me that
way!