olamilarks

You have a new follower, our stories is similar honestly, my drive to learn a skill is to be financially free, like I need to start earning consistently asap otherwise something will happen, I worked hard to buy my laptop, I feel like telling my story and the hardship I faced but I won't do that right now because there's no point, I'd do that when I return triumphant, when I achieve my purpose, if you don't mind I am open to being friends because at this point I need all the contact, mentorship and help I can get, I don't fancy the idea of begging for monetary help and being pitied, so when I try to get in touch with someone just know I'm not coming to beg for money or be needy, I just need support not to feel alone, I have been mentioning qtguru for same reason but baba no send me, I also follow his diary too, worked hard to get the money for courses, I am done with designing, now I'm doing fullstack, please I need mentors, please.

LutherKing001:


Bro what you need is focus, determination and discipline. I'm 30 and learning full stack development, my only challenge is that I currently don't have a pc, still coding with phone and I'm on JavaScript now. Bro just focus.

how do you manage to code with just phone, I have a laptop and extra monitor and I'm still struggling with it talkmore of using only phone.

Lol

@qtguru hello, I happen to stumble on your diary and it's very interesting, pls can we talk? I have some questions, how do I reach you?

Gerrard59:


The way friends don't help is the way having a female partner won't help you.

If you remain a bachelor for life, would you die?

Then he should stop the Songs of Lamentation and embrace himself for who he is, rather than expecting to have a female partner when he has ZERO SOCIAL LIFE AND FEW PHYSICAL FRIENDS.

Where did I write I am seeking for a girl with few physical friends and no social life, people like you who misconstrue simple things to suit your narrative and give you few minutes of attention should not be taken seriously, if you like die here with your analysis, it's all crap because you know nothing about me or what you're talking about.

Jakumo:


Finally, overcome that natural fear of rejection and approach women in large numbers, like a sailor on very limited shore leave, like there is no tomorrow, and simply assume that many will reject you which is FAR better than seeing gorgeous women and then later feeling that empty sense of regret because you didn't make that move and stop to speak with them.

Pretend that you've met them before as an opening line, then proceed from there with a light-hearted chat about what they are doing that day, with maybe one quick compliment about their beauty thrown in before collecting their WhatsApp number as an afterthought before you go your separate ways. I have been amazed at how raunchy and X-rated women can get over text with time and a little flirtation, all of which paves the way to hot sex on the first or second date with very little delay tactics on her part.

Lol this is so new to me, but I love it, I'll try these tactics and see, thanks.

Gerrard59:


No, he should not go out. He should do siddon put inside house. Chant and scream I am Intelligent, but I don't see intelligent women to converse with. He should pay Seyi Tinubu for advert placement with the billboard stating COME TO MY HOLE ALL YE INTELLIGENT PEOPLE. I AM INTELLIGENT, BUT HAVE ZERO SOCIAL LIFE AND FEW PHYSICAL FRIENDS. IF YOU DON'T COME, IT IS YOUR FAULT. REMEMBER, I AM INTELLIGENT. COME O! COME O!! COME O!!!

You're hilarious.

Jakumo:


The title of your opening post is a red flag, OP . Modern women under 30 don't want a deep relationship right from the onset. They want a fun-loving man who makes them laugh, who does NOT declare any romantic interest early in the game, and who does NOT resort to using that dreadful word LOVE before even having sex for the first time.

Take things light and easy. Give the impression that you have other romantic interests even if that is not the case. Make little jokes when interacting with women, and do NOT be hesitant to show sexual interest right at the start. If you are waiting to make a few million naira before you regard yourself as eligible to woo a woman, you are already discrediting yourself even before women do so.

Don't be afraid to accuse women of trying to seduce you when they dress sexy. They will act shocked that you have the balls to make such a claim, but have a smile ready on your face to show you are only joking. Your confidence will shine through, and before long, you will be hanging pipe to several different women all competing for your attention.

NEVER NEVER NEVER declare a romantic interest in any woman under 30 because that will scare her off instantly. Don't be heavy like that when they are still in their fun-loving easy-going years. Your bill for advice is in the mail.

perhaps I gave the wrong impression, your points are valid I'd take note of that, I have the personality you're describing though, the fact that I have few friends doesn't mean I'm some robot in reality who doesn't have a life, once you get to know me you'd see the difference between what we put online and what I actually am.

iInjureHerYansh:
Like understanding the female psyche, finding their weaknesses and leveraging on it.
Cos that's what them bitches do to guys.

Yeah, that is one thing that scares me as well, everyone is playing one game or the other, it's hard to know which one is serious and not, thanks for your advice sha, I learnt alot from this thread despite the insults.

Westerhoffe:



Mmm… what a life… lucky you.

It's hard o, nothing lucky about it, at first I was okay with it, even when I was doing the little schooling I did I stayed away from girls, I thought I was better off without the distraction, now I'm paying for it, the only two people I dated persisted somehow and even initiated the whole thing, it's not fun at all.

iInjureHerYansh:
You need game plus you also need to be going out. That's the only way you can meet women. Try to meet as much as possible and keep a few in your rotation. From there you will pick the best and settle down with her. This is why I say you need game cos without game you won't be able to achieve this feat cos this bitches are way too smart lately they always playing games so if you ain't ready then sorry for you.
Now to all the "hustle and make money then girls will come " gang shey una don dey see wetin op is passing through even with his money. Make all of una Deh play.
No go allow desperation make you settle with a damaged goods sha. Good luck

Game? Like being cunning and a player?

Gerrard59:


And who says it is easy? It is actually easier to stay at home, and even cheaper. In fact, as I write, na church I dey come from. I was specially invited today so I could meet the daughter of the invitee and have lunch with the Singaporean medical professionals I met earlier. As it is done in the abroad, you pay for yourself, but the doctors decided to pay for me. Why? We have conversed deeply about various issues. I am proud of myself that there is no topic outside literature, movies and music that I don't know of. Even the invitee's daughter who studies Computer Science at a Canadian university, she and I discussed about the tech industry. She was even interested to meet me. If na OP, he wants the girl to meet him where he is siddoning put.

You think it is every one that would invite a random black guy from West Africa to meet their friends? But I put myself out there and during our various conversations, we saw that we shared the same values. If I was not going to the church, I for no sabi these people existed. If I did not apply to join the university's church group, the medical student wey carry me go her church, I for no meet am. OP wants to meet people, but he has ZERO SOCIAL LIFE AND FEW PHYSICAL FRIENDS. For crying out loud, how would he meet people if he siddon put for house?

The issue is that he is lamenting his situation, but is adamant about not changing it. How on earth do you want to meet people when you don't go out? Who the fvck does he think he is? Even top class researchers attended conferences, but one random Lexzeey believes people should meet in the hole he put himself. Even the doctor's mentor, a renowned specialist in the field globally, went to Singapore and Australia for conferences, but this guy believes people should meet him in the hole he dug. Remember, he stated that he has ZERO SOCIAL LIFE AND FEW PHYSICAL FRIENDS. He is the one lamenting of not having a female partner but has ZERO SOCIAL LIFE AND FEW PHYSICAL FRIENDS

Lol you're so ignorant, I'm not in a hole oga, at all, I go out to shop, banks, sometimes quiet bars to unwind after working so hard, don't assume you know me because of your short sighted assessment, why are you people even focused on the wrong stuff? I'm not concerned about having few friends, infact I rather have no friends because I no fit talk, who friends help?

L1TTLE:
Lmao which insult pass this one, everything you type with all your life as if you wan pass out na ok he reply get a life bro, stop ejaculating on his thread, find something to do, na only jobless person go dey linger on nairaland all day.

How I go do, it seemed like he was about to have a heart attack untop my matter, I hope he is passionate about his life like he is about this my matter, if he apply this energy he go blow in one day.

Brandiebird:


She probably wouldn’t touch you using someone else’s hand!

You need a serious reality check! Social skills: lacking, education: lacking, plenty money: lacking, masculine traits: lacking, good looks: lacking! You said all this btw (going by your profile and threads).

All you have to offer is the basics in terms of the aforementioned qualities, plenty talks, and loyalty which are all feminine traits btw. Yet, you want a young, attractive, intelligent, well rounded, well spoken, and exposed young woman. These types of women want all the things you are lacking. People have been telling you this for x amount of pages, but you’re busy arguing and talking down to people. Argue with your keyboard because you’re delusional! 🤐

ok

MechanicMike:



Brother u are gay.pirrtiod.u make it clear u don't like women.good news for u is nairaland have plenty male pretending to be female so u hav NADA to be shamefull about sir.u are gay sir, be proud!!(no offenscce)

ok

Brandiebird:


Damn! So effeminate! You can dish it and talk ill about “average Nigerian women” and this girl and the other, but when someone turns the tables on you, you cry and moan. I think you set such unrealistic standards for women so you can comfort yourself by believing that there are no women that meet your criteria, rather than living with the fear that there’s something wrong with you. Be a man and confront your demons instead of hiding behind unrealistic expectations. We all have demons and fears but the best of us confront them head on.

Ok agreed, moving on before you pass out because of frustration.

MechanicMike:


So u are gay? U don't like womens? Nigggggga why are u gay?shame on u for been gay sir? Do u understand they can get arrrrest warrant for u & u will serve 14years after they arrrrest u & then they will find u husband in prison sir....repent & start licking women or else...!!?((no oofencssece)

Lol how hilarious, so not being attracted to her makes me gay? We have different taste in women, if you love her go for it, no use me in your agenda to get her to notice you.

Gerrard59:


The problem with OP is that he does not go out and meet new people. He literally said he has no friends. How does he want to meet people ni? Which means even with money, he will still encounter problems. I am doubtful he can keep healthy conversations with the opposite sex or even the male gender since he does not meet new people or have friends. What are his hobbies sef?

As for the bold, because a lady is God fearing, no mean say she no like good things of life. A well-educated, articulate and exposed "God fearing lady" will demand greater financial stability than you might expect. I have them on my contact list, and they make it clear that financial stability is very important in the men they desire. E be like say you never meet "God fearing lady" wey get double masters, PhD, participates in gospel outreach yet insists her man must be financially stable and up and doing.

Abi una take the as poor as a church rat of a phrase so seriously?

The fact that I don't socialize and I take my hustling seriously doesn't mean I am not human, I have hobbies, I am very interesting especially when it comes to having conversations, if I am not so good with conversations I wouldn't have listed it among the qualities I want in a woman, Its so sad that you didn't read what I wrote and just ran here to spill thrash, excercise restraint naw, I have feelings too, why would you assume you know me enough to know I don't have hobbies, even the most secluded person have hobbies, I love video games, traveling, cooking, making money, having wholesome and intelligent conversations, spending quality time with loved ones, watching movies, reading, writing, coding, creating art, go easy on me na, because it's starting to feel like you're projecting the bitterness in you unto me, like you're offended by yourself and you need someone to be your punching bag or you want a pound of flesh, why the aggression.

Gerrard59:


There are many intelligent ladies who can hold conversations. But since you have no friends and social life, how you wan see them? The problem is from you. You think you are the best thing since sliced bread, yet you don't have money, you don't have friends and have no social life. If you had a flourishing career or business that gives you financial stability but live as a monk, one would have said pretty OK. Na women sef go dey look for you. But now, nothing financial dey stable.

I don't know where you got all this thrash from, I didn't insinuate I was the best thing since sliced bread, Green isn't a pretty color on you, I haven't shown any sense of pride on this thread or in person, I have a situation and I'm looking for a solution, how you interpret it is totally upto you, and about being rich, I have nothing to prove to you, I eat what I want, pay my bills, take care of the people dear to me and have a roof over my head, I'm not otedola but I am greatful for my shortcomings and inadequacies and whatever I ever had, so your attempt to make me feel bad failed woefully, come up with another tactic, maybe I'll be kind enough to even reply you, the internet is a crazy place full of deluded individuals, any wise person wouldn't let people like you penetrate Thier skin, you know why? Because you're insignificant and inconsequential, so die on the thread or crawl back to wherever you crawled out of, because I won't indulge you anymore, have a great day sir.

MechanicMike:



Persephone juss say she been single on nairaland for 12years & still can't find man ... brother do u want me to help u work am or should I juss geta nomba for u sir?(no oofencssece)

She's the opposite of what I want in a woman, I won't touch her with a 10ft stick talkmore of number.

Girlee:
I'm just not in the mood so I won't be telling much stories...

Last year, depression almost killed me if not for the saving grace of God.
I wrote jamb, scored 225. Took delta state university's post utme form and scored 68. I wasn't admitted.
As I so much didn't want to stay at home for another year, I called my dad and asked him to send me money for a change of institute, he declined.
He was like "abeg! Wait for another year, I nor get shi shi". Yeah, I know he's not a literate but I expected that he knew the value of education but he doesn't.

I cried my eyes out for months and had to take up a job as a waitress so i could afford this year's jamb reg fee.
I took jamb again and scored 212. All glory to God because I never prepared. I worked from 8am till 10pm and sometimes till 11pm. My boss then even turned me to a dish washer.
Salary was 20k. 20k that my dad can pay me monthly but he was okay with that.

Okay...
I'm broke and jobless now because I want to prepare well for my upcoming Uniben's post utme.
I asked him for just 2,500 to buy past question but this was his reply:
"2,500 for wetin? I nor get oo. E be like you go relax and try again next year or just wait make you mature then you marry".

I shouted at him until I lost my voice, I cried and I'm like God why??

Hey, I pm you pls reply.

chidifrank:
Dear op, it's okay with what you desire and seek . It's a sinful world and I like that fact that you are trying to at least live a nice life by getting married rather than just fornicating up and down. Just somehow difficult this generation getting such minded gender like you if sex or money spending are not involved to propel it. Some said we should find a truly God fearing lady. Many of them thinks that way too. Good luck Bro. you are not alone

Thanks, all the comments in this thread and you're the only one who is seeing it from another perspective, they're insinuating that something is wrong with me, they forgot that it's not about having just any girl, heck I can bed different hookup girls everyday if I want to as long as there's money, I'm just looking for a partner.

linearity:


But, there is something missing in your ‘honest assessment’.

Do you have money? Where do you live? How do you live? What kind of job do you do?

A typical 9ja girl is looking for someone to shoulder her financially for the rest of her life and they can sense that from your social media page, the way you carry yourself, etc.

Look for financial stability and Nigeria girls would naturally be attracted to you.

Since it's important to you, I don't know if I have money or not, because being rich means different things to different people, I am comfortable, I'm paying my bills, and helping my siblings with school fees, hospital bill and all, but I'm not one to blow my horns, I don't have a car yet because it's not something I really need rn, my priority is to stop paying rent but for now I'm renting, then there's what I do, I am a software developer working freelance, doing other side jobs like crypto, basically alot online from here and there to make ends meet, I am sure you're familiar with the Nigerian way of survival, I'm not a degree holder though, did some polytechnic stuff and stopped, and I'm not comfortable telling you why, and lastly what do you mean how I live? I don't know, maybe try to make it to the next day? So confusing.

frozen70:

Lol
Keep searching, get one and modify that one

It may take time but it will worth it

Lol, alright, lemme get one first before thinking of zombifying her.

garriAndsugar:

You go really stubborn for real life.. wetin be your problem self, you no wan take any advice but you bring your issue come here.. na too much sense go finish you last last by the time you go jam one wicked intelligent girl

That'd be an awesome experience, something challenging for once, that'd be a first, that is exactly what I am looking for sir, not the regular boring and dumb Nigerian girl, capisce?

frozen70:


Training a woman to suit you as a man is not difficult, the most important thing is for her love and respect you

Once a man can get a desire respect from his woman, you can go tailor her to your taste

Lol have you seen the current generation of girls? They feel they know everything and trying to alter Thier behavior is equal to trying to manipulate and cage them, I no get the strength abeg

frozen70:


I think your expectations are too high for the ones you cane across

The most important thing you should be looking for is a woman who will give you peace

Who have a good sense of direction

When you find one train her to the level of intelligence that you want

It doesn't necessarily mean her going back to school

You can train her through daily communication and accessment with her

Expose her to the kind of knowledge that you want

If you are not ready to do the above then be ready to keep searching

That's alot of work o, I'm not going to be responsible for training someone's daughter, training children to behave the way you want is hard enough, you wan come train adult, which power I get?

Raalsalghul:
Ordinary 30 years and you're sounding desperate.

38 years folks like us nko still enjoying life and flexing on a low key.

Oga you better chill and stop rushing

Nigerian men and their desperation with marriage self.

38 years and unmarried, and you're proud of it, oga we're not cut from same tree, I don't roll that way.

IbrahimSkiba:



Well first of all, I am a girl... My picture is on my profile..

Secondly, I'll settle down, someday.. when I meet the right one.. if God says so

Thirdly.. I'll say my sex life is Okay.

Cool, you look good too.

Karlifate:


😂😂💔

He will soon attack you now, for not siding with his big, empty ego.

Your head just big for nothing, nothing dey inside, how do you even make it through life with this your outstanding gullibility?

garriAndsugar:

Everybody wants comfort unless she's comfortable herself if not she will be drawn to your money.

Well, I have nothing to offer any gold digger, not that I am broke per say, but if I sense gold digger vibes we're done.

garriAndsugar:

An intelligent girl below 30 might not be interested in you.

Lol yea, it sounds ridiculous but very possible , so I should look for the dumb ones then, I'd get bored of her and everything will crash, shey na wetin u dey try imply.