₦airaland Forum

Gerrard59:
The problem with OP is that he does not go out and meet new people. He literally said he has no friends. How does he want to meet people ni? Which means even with money, he will still encounter problems. I am doubtful he can keep healthy conversations with the opposite sex or even the male gender since he does not meet new people or have friends. What are his hobbies sef?

As for the bold, because a lady is God fearing, no mean say she no like good things of life. A well-educated, articulate and exposed "God fearing lady" will demand greater financial stability than you might expect. I have them on my contact list, and they make it clear that financial stability is very important in the men they desire. E be like say you never meet "God fearing lady" wey get double masters, PhD, participates in gospel outreach yet insists her man must be financially stable and up and doing.

Abi una take the as poor as a church rat of a phrase so seriously?

The fact that I don't socialize and I take my hustling seriously doesn't mean I am not human, I have hobbies, I am very interesting especially when it comes to having conversations, if I am not so good with conversations I wouldn't have listed it among the qualities I want in a woman, Its so sad that you didn't read what I wrote and just ran here to spill thrash, excercise restraint naw, I have feelings too, why would you assume you know me enough to know I don't have hobbies, even the most secluded person have hobbies, I love video games, traveling, cooking, making money, having wholesome and intelligent conversations, spending quality time with loved ones, watching movies, reading, writing, coding, creating art, go easy on me na, because it's starting to feel like you're projecting the bitterness in you unto me, like you're offended by yourself and you need someone to be your punching bag or you want a pound of flesh, why the aggression.

Gerrard59:
There are many intelligent ladies who can hold conversations. But since you have no friends and social life, how you wan see them? The problem is from you. You think you are the best thing since sliced bread, yet you don't have money, you don't have friends and have no social life. If you had a flourishing career or business that gives you financial stability but live as a monk, one would have said pretty OK. Na women sef go dey look for you. But now, nothing financial dey stable.

I don't know where you got all this thrash from, I didn't insinuate I was the best thing since sliced bread, Green isn't a pretty color on you, I haven't shown any sense of pride on this thread or in person, I have a situation and I'm looking for a solution, how you interpret it is totally upto you, and about being rich, I have nothing to prove to you, I eat what I want, pay my bills, take care of the people dear to me and have a roof over my head, I'm not otedola but I am greatful for my shortcomings and inadequacies and whatever I ever had, so your attempt to make me feel bad failed woefully, come up with another tactic, maybe I'll be kind enough to even reply you, the internet is a crazy place full of deluded individuals, any wise person wouldn't let people like you penetrate Thier skin, you know why? Because you're insignificant and inconsequential, so die on the thread or crawl back to wherever you crawled out of, because I won't indulge you anymore, have a great day sir.

MechanicMike:
Persephone juss say she been single on nairaland for 12years & still can't find man ... brother do u want me to help u work am or should I juss geta nomba for u sir?(no oofencssece)

She's the opposite of what I want in a woman, I won't touch her with a 10ft stick talkmore of number.

Girlee:
I'm just not in the mood so I won't be telling much stories...

Last year, depression almost killed me if not for the saving grace of God.
I wrote jamb, scored 225. Took delta state university's post utme form and scored 68. I wasn't admitted.
As I so much didn't want to stay at home for another year, I called my dad and asked him to send me money for a change of institute, he declined.
He was like "abeg! Wait for another year, I nor get shi shi". Yeah, I know he's not a literate but I expected that he knew the value of education but he doesn't.

I cried my eyes out for months and had to take up a job as a waitress so i could afford this year's jamb reg fee.
I took jamb again and scored 212. All glory to God because I never prepared. I worked from 8am till 10pm and sometimes till 11pm. My boss then even turned me to a dish washer.
Salary was 20k. 20k that my dad can pay me monthly but he was okay with that.

Okay...
I'm broke and jobless now because I want to prepare well for my upcoming Uniben's post utme.
I asked him for just 2,500 to buy past question but this was his reply:
"2,500 for wetin? I nor get oo. E be like you go relax and try again next year or just wait make you mature then you marry".

I shouted at him until I lost my voice, I cried and I'm like God why??

Hey, I pm you pls reply.

chidifrank:
Dear op, it's okay with what you desire and seek . It's a sinful world and I like that fact that you are trying to at least live a nice life by getting married rather than just fornicating up and down. Just somehow difficult this generation getting such minded gender like you if sex or money spending are not involved to propel it. Some said we should find a truly God fearing lady. Many of them thinks that way too. Good luck Bro. you are not alone

Thanks, all the comments in this thread and you're the only one who is seeing it from another perspective, they're insinuating that something is wrong with me, they forgot that it's not about having just any girl, heck I can bed different hookup girls everyday if I want to as long as there's money, I'm just looking for a partner.

linearity:
But, there is something missing in your ‘honest assessment’.

Do you have money? Where do you live? How do you live? What kind of job do you do?

A typical 9ja girl is looking for someone to shoulder her financially for the rest of her life and they can sense that from your social media page, the way you carry yourself, etc.

Look for financial stability and Nigeria girls would naturally be attracted to you.

Since it's important to you, I don't know if I have money or not, because being rich means different things to different people, I am comfortable, I'm paying my bills, and helping my siblings with school fees, hospital bill and all, but I'm not one to blow my horns, I don't have a car yet because it's not something I really need rn, my priority is to stop paying rent but for now I'm renting, then there's what I do, I am a software developer working freelance, doing other side jobs like crypto, basically alot online from here and there to make ends meet, I am sure you're familiar with the Nigerian way of survival, I'm not a degree holder though, did some polytechnic stuff and stopped, and I'm not comfortable telling you why, and lastly what do you mean how I live? I don't know, maybe try to make it to the next day? So confusing.

frozen70:
Lol
Keep searching, get one and modify that one

It may take time but it will worth it

Lol, alright, lemme get one first before thinking of zombifying her.

garriAndsugar:
You go really stubborn for real life.. wetin be your problem self, you no wan take any advice but you bring your issue come here.. na too much sense go finish you last last by the time you go jam one wicked intelligent girl

That'd be an awesome experience, something challenging for once, that'd be a first, that is exactly what I am looking for sir, not the regular boring and dumb Nigerian girl, capisce?

frozen70:
Training a woman to suit you as a man is not difficult, the most important thing is for her love and respect you

Once a man can get a desire respect from his woman, you can go tailor her to your taste

Lol have you seen the current generation of girls? They feel they know everything and trying to alter Thier behavior is equal to trying to manipulate and cage them, I no get the strength abeg

frozen70:
I think your expectations are too high for the ones you cane across

The most important thing you should be looking for is a woman who will give you peace

Who have a good sense of direction

When you find one train her to the level of intelligence that you want

It doesn't necessarily mean her going back to school

You can train her through daily communication and accessment with her

Expose her to the kind of knowledge that you want

If you are not ready to do the above then be ready to keep searching

That's alot of work o, I'm not going to be responsible for training someone's daughter, training children to behave the way you want is hard enough, you wan come train adult, which power I get?

Raalsalghul:
Ordinary 30 years and you're sounding desperate.

38 years folks like us nko still enjoying life and flexing on a low key.

Oga you better chill and stop rushing

Nigerian men and their desperation with marriage self.

38 years and unmarried, and you're proud of it, oga we're not cut from same tree, I don't roll that way.

IbrahimSkiba:
Well first of all, I am a girl... My picture is on my profile..

Secondly, I'll settle down, someday.. when I meet the right one.. if God says so

Thirdly.. I'll say my sex life is Okay.

Cool, you look good too.

Karlifate:
😂😂💔

He will soon attack you now, for not siding with his big, empty ego.

Your head just big for nothing, nothing dey inside, how do you even make it through life with this your outstanding gullibility?

garriAndsugar:
Everybody wants comfort unless she's comfortable herself if not she will be drawn to your money.

Well, I have nothing to offer any gold digger, not that I am broke per say, but if I sense gold digger vibes we're done.

garriAndsugar:
An intelligent girl below 30 might not be interested in you.

Lol yea, it sounds ridiculous but very possible , so I should look for the dumb ones then, I'd get bored of her and everything will crash, shey na wetin u dey try imply.

Pwetty2:
chat me up

how? I don't have ur number!

Brandiebird:
You might be expecting too much from a relationship. The age you require and the qualities you want don’t match up. You want the maturity and emotional iq of a 30 year old woman in a 20 year old body. You sound like a girl who wants a handsome, tall, rich man who is romantic and has so much time to spend with her.

Lol, so in other words it's unrealistic? Why does everyone keep saying this? So being an intelligent girl that is below 30 is so rare that people see it as something special?

Karlifate:


You are still lagging in many areas.

You don't smoke, drink or womanize, and you think that's all there is to being an upgraded man

Get down from your high horse & also get out from your comfort zone.

••• You don't have to go to clubs on Fridays & Saturdays, before you socialize. Join various groups; religious, community, book clubs, and other offline gatherings where you'll associate with people with like minds.

••• Stop being desperate cos you set a marital timeline for yourself. Naturally, women have the instinct to sniff out low self-esteem and/or desperate dudes.

••• From your story, life is simply teaching you some lessons like: patience, humility, self-awareness, self-improvement regarding your self-worth, creating and sustaining meaningful relationships & stop hiding behind "I'm intelligent, I'm this or that"

You're turning a blind eye to eye important life lessons cos of your overestimated ego.


Ponder on these & stop being desperate.


Selah! 😎

I can't control the way you see things, your sense of reasoning is innate, it's what you are and the abundance of such reasoning is responsible for whatever output you give, my overestimated ego and whatnot, you're entitled to your opinion, I know what's best for me and I think something as serious as this requires honesty on my part, what I said above is my truth so if you're too deluded to see past your nose it's your problem, I can't do anything to change that, have a nice day sir.

Persephone1:

I only echo what I read from guys here 🤷

I hope you find your desires. Lol

Lol so you're now advising based on what you read from guys here, many of them dey catch cruise.

IbrahimSkiba:
Give yourself time..

Everything will fall into places.

Be like me, who doesn't like relationship

I mean, I'm not dating but I am happy, best decision ever.

You don't have to date, inorder to be happy.

Maybe you need love but love doesn't exist, it's just some chemical playing mind tricks on you
Lol

Hmm, how do you cope? And how long do you think you can keep it up, if you don't date, how do you intend to settle down, you'll wait for your parents to go and bring one village girl for you or what? Village girls are more dangerous sef, because the moment they tear eye you no fit control them again because they'll overdo it

Edipet:
you wan go see his pictures. @lexzeey trade with caution

Like say u know

tivhador:
As a man, don't whine and just do all that needs to be done. A real man doesn't whine....Its annoying

So because I'm a real man I should die in silence abi, abeg carry your hypocrisy away, your idea of a real man is backwards and archaic, real man doesn't mean same thing in my dictionary.

Persephone1:
Hustle more , it's not enough. Ladies literally flock around men that hustle. Well according Nl men sha.

Then they'll like u because you have money, when money no dey again they'll japa, If it's about money I'll only looking for sex partner not someone to get married to, I can't marry someone who is drawn to my money, I rather die single please.

Geovanni412:
Find gees wey dey your area and relax

Which side for naija u dey?

abj

pryme:
then know this, its normal to not easily find your kind of woman, cos the world is filled with terrible human beings.
Just know it may take time.
Also...
She is out there.

Good luck.

thanks

pryme:
Thats the question you should be asking yourself, I for one will rather die single than marry a headache, regardless of what ever peer pressure. Its losers thats do things just because everyone is doing it.
But what if you dont find the kind of woman that will give you peace and make you a better person? will you settle for less?

Know this,
it goes both ways,
just as you want a woman that has certain qualities, DO YOU HAVE THE QUALITIES THAT WILL KEEP SUCH A WOMAN?
This part is what alot of people overlook.

I do have the qualities, most girls in Thier 20s feel there's alot of time for them and they cheat and date multiple guys at once, this is something I am very much aware of and dread, inasmuch as I want to get married before 30, it doesn't mean I am doing it for peer pressure or copying someone, it's not a do or die affair too, you can go if you want to, but at this stage in my life any relationship I enter would be something serious and long term because this is what I need in my life rn, hope you grab, it's not a sense of duty, pressure or obligation that is pushing me, it's the will to have something meaningful with someone and we will grow together and understand each other before making any commitment.

Geovanni412:
Try and relax a bit

Even the most logical women say the most crazy stuff when they get emotional

Imagine putting up a house worth 100m naira as collateral for your wife to go on pilgrimage to Israel

And the only message your wife tells the kids is that their father is the one who caused the stress that made her get breast cancer

I loved my late mum and she was quite a brilliant lawyer but does that sound logical to you, as a man?

With women, do your best but always give them the road to leave if they want...

They will stay if they know you are willing to let them go

They will go if they know you will do anything to make them stay

If you are looking for logical, thinking partner 90% of the time, you might as well go and get an intimacy gadget or live on an Island.

At the peak of my desperate attempt to find something meaningful with a girl I have even considered shallow girls who obsess over iphone and human hair, that was me back then, I still very much want to settle down but I'm not going to settle for less just because I want something meaningful anymore, you see all the playboy lifestyle? I can live that life comfortably without stress, once there's money there's always a hookup girl you can lay with every night, but after the sex and hookup, she leaves and the emptiness creeps in, you slept with a stranger you know nothing about, I know how cheap girls are, but what I am looking for is something meaningful and I know such girls are rare, but marriage is a lifetime commitment, I can't be with anything I see just because she's female and I want something serious.

pryme:
You may think what are you are looking for is not too much, but when you realize that this world is a fuucked up place, and every body is trying hard to escape hardship and poverty, you will soon realize what you are looking for is actually rare.
And in finding what is rare requires due diligence and patience.

So make do with anything you see? You do realize it's not a relationship I want? It's something permanent, for life, wouldn't want to be stuck with misery forever na, marry headache then stay with her forever, I'd rather remain single.

Geovanni412:
My father told me this:

Love is a misunderstanding between two fools

When it comes to relationships, know when to sound logical and when to ignore BS and just flow

There is a reason 'mumu' boys get lots of girls - they are free spirited.

So you're endorsing the irresponsible and careless personality? The world has gone to sh!t.

UyaiIncomparabl:
You have to pleasing to my eyes at least. If you claim to be average, then I don’t know what may be wrong.

A lady sent you a mail already from this thread, I suppose. You both can take it up from there. Wishing you the very best.

Yea, I'm hoping it ends well too, thanks

Opurumiri:
I find it strange that you can't meet girls online. For me I think you're still young because I'm 34 years old although I am very very comfortable but not yet married. I actually meet alot of ladies on Facebook and IG. Recently I just met a very beautiful lady online who came all the way from Lagos to Portharcourt to see me. I think I may just settle down with her.

I will advise that you shouldn't feel desperate, just relax you're a man. The older we get the better we become not women who gets desperate after 27 years old looking for a man to marry.

They won't even reply dms, making me think something is wrong with me, I don give up on that sha, life goes on.

Runnerzz:
Shine ur eyes oo that girl na those types when dey date like 5-6 guys at the same time. Don't say u weren't warned. U can go through her old posts and topics if ur new here. Good luck 🤞

Lol for real?