₦airaland Forum

FacilitatorLekk:
It's shallow minded people, that's how they get their gratification.

Honestly there's no point to it.

marlow1962:
Broke niggas doings

Define broke

What exactly do people aim to achieve when they come online to front how successful Thier life is?

Most of them will claim they're motivating people, motivating people to feel bad?

Or look down on themselves for not trying hard enough in life, if you are really motivating people you'd show them how to make something of their lives too, your motivation is even doing the opposite, its inciting people to become desperate to make same money or force it by going into crime or fraud.

Go to Instagram you'll see many of them clout chasing, even on nairaland dairy section them plenty, what exactly are you doing, people wey no Sabi you, they're not your family you're seeking validation under the guise of motivation.

The UAE spender that was arrested earlier sweet my belle, such laws should be enacted in Nigeria because we have the biggest number of clout chasers in this country, you'll see many people tapping in to grace under their post.

Anyone who is successful have one story to tell about how they suffered for their money, you think I'd tell you the dirty things I did to make money if I'll become successful?

Let us stop glorifying this clout chasing, tapping into grace on social media won't change your life, the way people react to the posts from this clout chasers is the reason they keep posting, if you abandon thier post and don't interact they'll slow down, move at your own pace no allow anybody give you high BP or make you feel you're not doing enough, they don't care about you, they're only posting the riches so you can validate to make them feel good and make you feel like you're not serious with your life.

I know many of you will call me jealous and say no one owes me anything, yes but constituting a nuisance affects my sanity, and everyone needs thier sanity, can't you celebrate your wealth by buying nice things and treating yourself well?

Must you flaunt it online?

How many people you dey help with your flaunting?

Jakumo:
Damn right brother man. The very idea of becoming desperate and helpless enough to need HELP in meeting a woman goes against all that any wise and self-respecting man should stand for as a personal guiding philosophy.

Go and make your own romantic connections while pointedly ignoring the babbling of any patronizing and condescending person offering such dubious "help" by assuming the role of an unsolicited matchmaker, as though they consider you too dumb to make your own life choices.

I even saw the results of the desperacy through one lady that dm me, she was like afterall you're the one who want to get married, me I am young and have time on my side, but I made it clear to her she's wrong, I'm not desperate nor needy, I'd rather die single than settle for anything just because I want an amorous relationship.

cocolacec:
Let your friends connects you with their sisters.Your mum can also find you a well brought up girl with your criteria.

letting people play matchmaker in your life is a toxic recipe for disaster, I'd take my chances with the other suggestions on this thread.

nokspos:
Go to nysc camps, pick atleast two every new batch but don't sleep instead start as friend and be quick to leave ontime if things don't go your way so you don't waste their time because those set don finish school, na husband remain.

Also, don't be desperate, don't let them notice your desperation, let them know you are looking for a serious relationship but yet , let them feel and know that you can settle down right away and you can also take your time because you are willing to take either of those two decisions depending on what your woman wants. Let them know a man can still marry at 35 yet you are will to marry this year or even next year, or next 5years depending on what your woman wants. Women hate when a man is desperate and they hate when it appears like they are helping you solve a problem.

How you will get them at the camp now depends on you, be ready to buy some food, be ready to run some free services at the camp area, you can try to start a small business at the camp area and dedicate someone their just to get close to them. but the demographic of the girl you are looking for is in the camp.


also note that: real men don't play video game too much. Don't go and tell a new girl you just meet that you play video game, some of them see it as a red flag.

lol about the video game part, thanks.

LutherKing001:
Sad 😢.. Don't give up is all I can say for now.

thanks.

LutherKing001:
Bro you're done learning full stack dev already?
Don't mind some of this recruiters, full stack dev is enough skill for junior entry role in tech, they employ front end dev not to talk of full stack dev. Keep searching and applying bro you will find better options. I'm still learning for now and will start submitting CVs for tech jobs by Oct/Nov.

Almost done, I'm polishing my react skills for now, I'm not submitting cv anymore because the rejection and discouragement is too much and it's making me feel like I should stop trying, like I'll never be enough no matter how hard I try, imagine someone learning UI and UX and fullstack at same time because of recruiters with Thier unrealistic and inconsiderate demands.

LutherKing001:
lol bro you can learn HTML, CSS and JavaScript with phone. I have been coding on phone for almost 3 months now. Any serious person with burning desire to learn coding can start out with a phone while making plans to get a pc. God willing before diving into REACT, I should have a pc in my possession.

Well I'm sorry to hear you're still struggling with it, but the truth is, every programmer have got a fair share of the struggle tales in their humble beginnings while learning to code. Sometimes you get overwhelmed along the line but is best to relax a bit when you're overwhelmed, do some other things to relax your brain and come back to continue when you feel much better.

You have to be passionate about this coding thing and then you should know why you're learning to code, the 'why' question is what will keep you motivated each time you're feeling down and overwhelmed else you will just be wasting time and resources, brace up bro, you got the tools so get on with work cuz there's light at the end of the tunnel.

Another thing is I don't know what road map you're following, just be guided and don't be a jack of all trade at least for the now. The stack I'm learning is the MERN stack and I'm very determined to learn it cuz man don suffer no be small.

Finally bro make sure to follow some bosses on this subnairaland, you go learn from them. Notable mentiones are Airsaylongcome, Niel63, TruthCoder, GREATIGBOMAN, et al..

That jack of all trades stuff is one of the problems I am facing, I am learning fullstack to be employable, I actively search for remote jobs and what most of this jobs have in common is the need for several skills at once, you'll see jobs like, I'm looking for a UI designer with five years experience and have knowledge of this and that, they'll be asking for impossible stuff, most times I don't apply for jobs because of the side skills they mention, I saw one recently about fullstack development, but they also require you to have QA analyst skills too, so how can I stick to just one specialty when every job requires qualifications from other fields, the thing tire me.

Avast:
It depends and it is even normal but that doesn't mean you should stop learning or lose focus.

right, good to know I'm not alone in this boat.

Avast:
lol, I am in my 30s and I just started Frontend path few months ago. I have a 45yrs old guy with 2 kids in my standup team. The guy lives in Finland.

It's scary, I feel it'll be hard understanding anything at that age.

olamilarks:
I think you should reach out to Qtguru he's reachable with plenty contacts on his signature, that man is doing a lot of good work on tech Nairaland. I'm just starting out also, I try not to get into nairaland bants as much as possible. I think you're pretty skilled already but you need guidance and direction.

Yes I do need guidance, thanks anyway.

Avast:
@Lexzeey You are still young bro.

I just filled their online form, hoping to get feedback soon. Thanks boss.

Lol I hope you're right, this one everyone is looking for someone with atleast 5yrs experience, if u add 5yrs to my years it's not a pretty number o, although I'm still in my 20s.

qtguru:
Google meet or slack is my most accessible medium unless you send a mail. That works for me, busy schedule.

Alright I'll check it out, looking forward to it, thanks.

qtguru:
sorry join NexaScale on slack. I am a mentor there

Boss data o, my learning is mostly vid, it consume alot of data, is there a way I can communicate with you aside slack?

olamilarks

You have a new follower, our stories is similar honestly, my drive to learn a skill is to be financially free, like I need to start earning consistently asap otherwise something will happen, I worked hard to buy my laptop, I feel like telling my story and the hardship I faced but I won't do that right now because there's no point, I'd do that when I return triumphant, when I achieve my purpose, if you don't mind I am open to being friends because at this point I need all the contact, mentorship and help I can get, I don't fancy the idea of begging for monetary help and being pitied, so when I try to get in touch with someone just know I'm not coming to beg for money or be needy, I just need support not to feel alone, I have been mentioning qtguru for same reason but baba no send me, I also follow his diary too, worked hard to get the money for courses, I am done with designing, now I'm doing fullstack, please I need mentors, please.

LutherKing001:
Bro what you need is focus, determination and discipline. I'm 30 and learning full stack development, my only challenge is that I currently don't have a pc, still coding with phone and I'm on JavaScript now. Bro just focus.

how do you manage to code with just phone, I have a laptop and extra monitor and I'm still struggling with it talkmore of using only phone.

Lol

@qtguru hello, I happen to stumble on your diary and it's very interesting, pls can we talk? I have some questions, how do I reach you?

Gerrard59:
The way friends don't help is the way having a female partner won't help you.

If you remain a bachelor for life, would you die?

Then he should stop the Songs of Lamentation and embrace himself for who he is, rather than expecting to have a female partner when he has ZERO SOCIAL LIFE AND FEW PHYSICAL FRIENDS.

Where did I write I am seeking for a girl with few physical friends and no social life, people like you who misconstrue simple things to suit your narrative and give you few minutes of attention should not be taken seriously, if you like die here with your analysis, it's all crap because you know nothing about me or what you're talking about.

Jakumo:
Finally, overcome that natural fear of rejection and approach women in large numbers, like a sailor on very limited shore leave, like there is no tomorrow, and simply assume that many will reject you which is FAR better than seeing gorgeous women and then later feeling that empty sense of regret because you didn't make that move and stop to speak with them.

Pretend that you've met them before as an opening line, then proceed from there with a light-hearted chat about what they are doing that day, with maybe one quick compliment about their beauty thrown in before collecting their WhatsApp number as an afterthought before you go your separate ways. I have been amazed at how raunchy and X-rated women can get over text with time and a little flirtation, all of which paves the way to hot sex on the first or second date with very little delay tactics on her part.

Lol this is so new to me, but I love it, I'll try these tactics and see, thanks.

Gerrard59:
No, he should not go out. He should do siddon put inside house. Chant and scream I am Intelligent, but I don't see intelligent women to converse with. He should pay Seyi Tinubu for advert placement with the billboard stating COME TO MY HOLE ALL YE INTELLIGENT PEOPLE. I AM INTELLIGENT, BUT HAVE ZERO SOCIAL LIFE AND FEW PHYSICAL FRIENDS. IF YOU DON'T COME, IT IS YOUR FAULT. REMEMBER, I AM INTELLIGENT. COME O! COME O!! COME O!!!

You're hilarious.

Jakumo:
The title of your opening post is a red flag, OP . Modern women under 30 don't want a deep relationship right from the onset. They want a fun-loving man who makes them laugh, who does NOT declare any romantic interest early in the game, and who does NOT resort to using that dreadful word LOVE before even having sex for the first time.

Take things light and easy. Give the impression that you have other romantic interests even if that is not the case. Make little jokes when interacting with women, and do NOT be hesitant to show sexual interest right at the start. If you are waiting to make a few million naira before you regard yourself as eligible to woo a woman, you are already discrediting yourself even before women do so.

Don't be afraid to accuse women of trying to seduce you when they dress sexy. They will act shocked that you have the balls to make such a claim, but have a smile ready on your face to show you are only joking. Your confidence will shine through, and before long, you will be hanging pipe to several different women all competing for your attention.

NEVER NEVER NEVER declare a romantic interest in any woman under 30 because that will scare her off instantly. Don't be heavy like that when they are still in their fun-loving easy-going years. Your bill for advice is in the mail.

perhaps I gave the wrong impression, your points are valid I'd take note of that, I have the personality you're describing though, the fact that I have few friends doesn't mean I'm some robot in reality who doesn't have a life, once you get to know me you'd see the difference between what we put online and what I actually am.

iInjureHerYansh:
Like understanding the female psyche, finding their weaknesses and leveraging on it.
Cos that's what them bitches do to guys.

Yeah, that is one thing that scares me as well, everyone is playing one game or the other, it's hard to know which one is serious and not, thanks for your advice sha, I learnt alot from this thread despite the insults.

Westerhoffe:
Mmm… what a life… lucky you.

It's hard o, nothing lucky about it, at first I was okay with it, even when I was doing the little schooling I did I stayed away from girls, I thought I was better off without the distraction, now I'm paying for it, the only two people I dated persisted somehow and even initiated the whole thing, it's not fun at all.

iInjureHerYansh:
You need game plus you also need to be going out. That's the only way you can meet women. Try to meet as much as possible and keep a few in your rotation. From there you will pick the best and settle down with her. This is why I say you need game cos without game you won't be able to achieve this feat cos this bitches are way too smart lately they always playing games so if you ain't ready then sorry for you.
Now to all the "hustle and make money then girls will come " gang shey una don dey see wetin op is passing through even with his money. Make all of una Deh play.
No go allow desperation make you settle with a damaged goods sha. Good luck

Game? Like being cunning and a player?

Gerrard59:
And who says it is easy? It is actually easier to stay at home, and even cheaper. In fact, as I write, na church I dey come from. I was specially invited today so I could meet the daughter of the invitee and have lunch with the Singaporean medical professionals I met earlier. As it is done in the abroad, you pay for yourself, but the doctors decided to pay for me. Why? We have conversed deeply about various issues. I am proud of myself that there is no topic outside literature, movies and music that I don't know of. Even the invitee's daughter who studies Computer Science at a Canadian university, she and I discussed about the tech industry. She was even interested to meet me. If na OP, he wants the girl to meet him where he is siddoning put.

You think it is every one that would invite a random black guy from West Africa to meet their friends? But I put myself out there and during our various conversations, we saw that we shared the same values. If I was not going to the church, I for no sabi these people existed. If I did not apply to join the university's church group, the medical student wey carry me go her church, I for no meet am. OP wants to meet people, but he has ZERO SOCIAL LIFE AND FEW PHYSICAL FRIENDS. For crying out loud, how would he meet people if he siddon put for house?

The issue is that he is lamenting his situation, but is adamant about not changing it. How on earth do you want to meet people when you don't go out? Who the fvck does he think he is? Even top class researchers attended conferences, but one random Lexzeey believes people should meet in the hole he put himself. Even the doctor's mentor, a renowned specialist in the field globally, went to Singapore and Australia for conferences, but this guy believes people should meet him in the hole he dug. Remember, he stated that he has ZERO SOCIAL LIFE AND FEW PHYSICAL FRIENDS. He is the one lamenting of not having a female partner but has ZERO SOCIAL LIFE AND FEW PHYSICAL FRIENDS

Lol you're so ignorant, I'm not in a hole oga, at all, I go out to shop, banks, sometimes quiet bars to unwind after working so hard, don't assume you know me because of your short sighted assessment, why are you people even focused on the wrong stuff? I'm not concerned about having few friends, infact I rather have no friends because I no fit talk, who friends help?

L1TTLE:
Lmao which insult pass this one, everything you type with all your life as if you wan pass out na ok he reply get a life bro, stop ejaculating on his thread, find something to do, na only jobless person go dey linger on nairaland all day.

How I go do, it seemed like he was about to have a heart attack untop my matter, I hope he is passionate about his life like he is about this my matter, if he apply this energy he go blow in one day.

Brandiebird:
She probably wouldn’t touch you using someone else’s hand!

You need a serious reality check! Social skills: lacking, education: lacking, plenty money: lacking, masculine traits: lacking, good looks: lacking! You said all this btw (going by your profile and threads).

All you have to offer is the basics in terms of the aforementioned qualities, plenty talks, and loyalty which are all feminine traits btw. Yet, you want a young, attractive, intelligent, well rounded, well spoken, and exposed young woman. These types of women want all the things you are lacking. People have been telling you this for x amount of pages, but you’re busy arguing and talking down to people. Argue with your keyboard because you’re delusional! 🤐

ok

MechanicMike:
Brother u are gay.pirrtiod.u make it clear u don't like women.good news for u is nairaland have plenty male pretending to be female so u hav NADA to be shamefull about sir.u are gay sir, be proud!!(no offenscce)

ok

Brandiebird:
Damn! So effeminate! You can dish it and talk ill about “average Nigerian women” and this girl and the other, but when someone turns the tables on you, you cry and moan. I think you set such unrealistic standards for women so you can comfort yourself by believing that there are no women that meet your criteria, rather than living with the fear that there’s something wrong with you. Be a man and confront your demons instead of hiding behind unrealistic expectations. We all have demons and fears but the best of us confront them head on.

Ok agreed, moving on before you pass out because of frustration.

MechanicMike:

So u are gay? U don't like womens? Nigggggga why are u gay?shame on u for been gay sir? Do u understand they can get arrrrest warrant for u & u will serve 14years after they arrrrest u & then they will find u husband in prison sir....repent & start licking women or else...!!?((no oofencssece)

Lol how hilarious, so not being attracted to her makes me gay? We have different taste in women, if you love her go for it, no use me in your agenda to get her to notice you.