Pwetty2:

chat me up

how? I don't have ur number!

Brandiebird:
You might be expecting too much from a relationship. The age you require and the qualities you want don’t match up. You want the maturity and emotional iq of a 30 year old woman in a 20 year old body. You sound like a girl who wants a handsome, tall, rich man who is romantic and has so much time to spend with her.

Lol, so in other words it's unrealistic? Why does everyone keep saying this? So being an intelligent girl that is below 30 is so rare that people see it as something special?

Karlifate:


You are still lagging in many areas.

You don't smoke, drink or womanize, and you think that's all there is to being an upgraded man

Get down from your high horse & also get out from your comfort zone.

••• You don't have to go to clubs on Fridays & Saturdays, before you socialize. Join various groups; religious, community, book clubs, and other offline gatherings where you'll associate with people with like minds.

••• Stop being desperate cos you set a marital timeline for yourself. Naturally, women have the instinct to sniff out low self-esteem and/or desperate dudes.

••• From your story, life is simply teaching you some lessons like: patience, humility, self-awareness, self-improvement regarding your self-worth, creating and sustaining meaningful relationships & stop hiding behind "I'm intelligent, I'm this or that"

You're turning a blind eye to eye important life lessons cos of your overestimated ego.


Ponder on these & stop being desperate.


Selah! 😎

I can't control the way you see things, your sense of reasoning is innate, it's what you are and the abundance of such reasoning is responsible for whatever output you give, my overestimated ego and whatnot, you're entitled to your opinion, I know what's best for me and I think something as serious as this requires honesty on my part, what I said above is my truth so if you're too deluded to see past your nose it's your problem, I can't do anything to change that, have a nice day sir.

Persephone1:

I only echo what I read from guys here 🤷

I hope you find your desires. Lol

Lol so you're now advising based on what you read from guys here, many of them dey catch cruise.

IbrahimSkiba:




Give yourself time..

Everything will fall into places.

Be like me, who doesn't like relationship

I mean, I'm not dating but I am happy, best decision ever.

You don't have to date, inorder to be happy.

Maybe you need love but love doesn't exist, it's just some chemical playing mind tricks on you
Lol

Hmm, how do you cope? And how long do you think you can keep it up, if you don't date, how do you intend to settle down, you'll wait for your parents to go and bring one village girl for you or what? Village girls are more dangerous sef, because the moment they tear eye you no fit control them again because they'll overdo it

Edipet:
you wan go see his pictures. @lexzeey trade with caution

Like say u know

tivhador:
As a man, don't whine and just do all that needs to be done. A real man doesn't whine....Its annoying

So because I'm a real man I should die in silence abi, abeg carry your hypocrisy away, your idea of a real man is backwards and archaic, real man doesn't mean same thing in my dictionary.

Persephone1:
Hustle more , it's not enough. Ladies literally flock around men that hustle. Well according Nl men sha.

Then they'll like u because you have money, when money no dey again they'll japa, If it's about money I'll only looking for sex partner not someone to get married to, I can't marry someone who is drawn to my money, I rather die single please.

Geovanni412:


Find gees wey dey your area and relax

Which side for naija u dey?

abj

pryme:


then know this, its normal to not easily find your kind of woman, cos the world is filled with terrible human beings.
Just know it may take time.
Also...
She is out there.

Good luck.

thanks

pryme:


Thats the question you should be asking yourself, I for one will rather die single than marry a headache, regardless of what ever peer pressure. Its losers thats do things just because everyone is doing it.
But what if you dont find the kind of woman that will give you peace and make you a better person? will you settle for less?

Know this,
it goes both ways,
just as you want a woman that has certain qualities, DO YOU HAVE THE QUALITIES THAT WILL KEEP SUCH A WOMAN?
This part is what alot of people overlook.

I do have the qualities, most girls in Thier 20s feel there's alot of time for them and they cheat and date multiple guys at once, this is something I am very much aware of and dread, inasmuch as I want to get married before 30, it doesn't mean I am doing it for peer pressure or copying someone, it's not a do or die affair too, you can go if you want to, but at this stage in my life any relationship I enter would be something serious and long term because this is what I need in my life rn, hope you grab, it's not a sense of duty, pressure or obligation that is pushing me, it's the will to have something meaningful with someone and we will grow together and understand each other before making any commitment.

Geovanni412:


Try and relax a bit

Even the most logical women say the most crazy stuff when they get emotional

Imagine putting up a house worth 100m naira as collateral for your wife to go on pilgrimage to Israel

And the only message your wife tells the kids is that their father is the one who caused the stress that made her get breast cancer

I loved my late mum and she was quite a brilliant lawyer but does that sound logical to you, as a man?

With women, do your best but always give them the road to leave if they want...

They will stay if they know you are willing to let them go

They will go if they know you will do anything to make them stay

If you are looking for logical, thinking partner 90% of the time, you might as well go and get an intimacy gadget or live on an Island.

At the peak of my desperate attempt to find something meaningful with a girl I have even considered shallow girls who obsess over iphone and human hair, that was me back then, I still very much want to settle down but I'm not going to settle for less just because I want something meaningful anymore, you see all the playboy lifestyle? I can live that life comfortably without stress, once there's money there's always a hookup girl you can lay with every night, but after the sex and hookup, she leaves and the emptiness creeps in, you slept with a stranger you know nothing about, I know how cheap girls are, but what I am looking for is something meaningful and I know such girls are rare, but marriage is a lifetime commitment, I can't be with anything I see just because she's female and I want something serious.

pryme:


You may think what are you are looking for is not too much, but when you realize that this world is a fuucked up place, and every body is trying hard to escape hardship and poverty, you will soon realize what you are looking for is actually rare.
And in finding what is rare requires due diligence and patience.

So make do with anything you see? You do realize it's not a relationship I want? It's something permanent, for life, wouldn't want to be stuck with misery forever na, marry headache then stay with her forever, I'd rather remain single.

Geovanni412:


My father told me this:

Love is a misunderstanding between two fools

When it comes to relationships, know when to sound logical and when to ignore BS and just flow

There is a reason 'mumu' boys get lots of girls - they are free spirited.

So you're endorsing the irresponsible and careless personality? The world has gone to sh!t.

UyaiIncomparabl:


You have to pleasing to my eyes at least. If you claim to be average, then I don’t know what may be wrong.

A lady sent you a mail already from this thread, I suppose. You both can take it up from there. Wishing you the very best.

Yea, I'm hoping it ends well too, thanks

Opurumiri:


I find it strange that you can't meet girls online. For me I think you're still young because I'm 34 years old although I am very very comfortable but not yet married. I actually meet alot of ladies on Facebook and IG. Recently I just met a very beautiful lady online who came all the way from Lagos to Portharcourt to see me. I think I may just settle down with her.

I will advise that you shouldn't feel desperate, just relax you're a man. The older we get the better we become not women who gets desperate after 27 years old looking for a man to marry.

They won't even reply dms, making me think something is wrong with me, I don give up on that sha, life goes on.

Runnerzz:

Shine ur eyes oo that girl na those types when dey date like 5-6 guys at the same time. Don't say u weren't warned. U can go through her old posts and topics if ur new here. Good luck 🤞

Lol for real?

Ade1177:


My only advice is

don't be desperate and beg a lady to marry you

Or show her you love her too much and all you want is marriage

You will regret it

Wait even if it takes another 5YRS to find a lady that sees you as a small god and adores you

And when she begs you to settle down consider it if you can tolerate her when you no longer love her


Marriage is not what it looks like when you are single looking at it from outside

Remember your mind is different from a ladies mind
We don't think the same

Only married men who married a lady that just agreed to marry out of pressure will advice you better


As a man At 40 you are still young

Thanks for the advice, I am aware of all that, and I'm aware that desperate people make big mistakes, I'd not get married to someone that doesn't feel the same about me though, I have seen how disastrous that could be on the long run.

Prettygirl200:
is it that u don't want to reply the mail I sent to you or u actually posted this for cruise? Let me know so I can just forget it.

I replied

pansophist:
The more intelligent you are, the less likely you will experience love and romance. Furthermore, the more intelligent you are in Nigeria, it's even harder. And to be broke and intelligent in Nigeria is a suicide mission.

As a hustling guy, you probably want ladies around 26 downwards, the odds are not in your favor. Girls that age are still going on multiple dates weekly with numerous guys, the fun is too much for the ladies to abandon and settle down with a hustling guy like you.

Sorry for being the carrier of unfavorable news. But there is no point deceiving you with sugary news, you are already suffering.

I get bored easily if someone isn't exposed or intelligent, we can't come and be saying have you eaten everyday, it's so boring, someone that has something to say about any topic, even if she doesn't know the topic very well she can have a meaningful conversation instead of ok, ya, tnx, pls, yap.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Maybe you’re not that attractive then. But, don’t worry. Every unattractive person will eventually have someone.

As someone said up there, try being casual friends with these girls, you could be lucky and one of such could metamorphose into something beautiful even though I think a man and woman shouldn’t be friends. But, try anyway.

You sound so needy and desperate as well. Be careful there, hence you get used and tossed.

Lol, I'll not share my pic here because I value privacy, but is it by being goodlooking? If you're only interested in someone because of his looks that relationship won't last, na looks you chop? I'm not ugly though, just average.

pryme:


The majority of the population are poor, so they raise their kids the best way they could in a no frills manner, meaning no Cartoon Network, no intellectual YouTube channels, no exposure to intelligent content. MOST times the ones that do are from the well to do families. And girls from well to do families have their own circle, they hardly date outside that circle - are you in that circle!?
Remember MOST girls don't date down.

You could as well take what you can get in your own class. But if you are willing to play the long game, put yourself in the top 10% you will have plenty of options to choose from when you are in this position BECAUSE THESE ARE THE MEN MOST WOMEN ARE SEARCHING/WAITING/HOPING FOR.

Just go out more, hang out in cool places.
Don't take yourself too seriously, this will take the pressure off of you starting a conversation.
Always maintain eye contact when talking to a lady.

Be the best version of yourself, you will find it difficult settling for good for nothing women.

I am someone who doesn't care about status, money comes and goes and the importance people put on material possession is too much, yes I work hard to earn a better life for myself and my family, this is the reason why the only thing I dedicate most of my time to is hustling, that is why I have no friends or social life, and I'm not someone who is into so much socializing, so that circle thing isn't me, I just want purpose, someone that'd be my friend, confidant, wife in all, and her personality should compliment mine, but I can't seem to find anyone, that is the problem with me, I don't think this is too much to ask, someone intelligent, interesting, thoughtful, good looking, you mustn't be Beyonce just have good features, I'm not picky and I don't judge people by status or how popular you are, just be on same level with me and be loyal, cuz I don't cheat, cheating is a chore to me.

Prettygirl200:
I just sent u a mail u can reply it if u don't mind

Ok.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Are you ugly? Or do you look awkward? Do you have low-self esteem issues?

I don't know what you mean by awkward but I'm okay, not sure about the self esteem issues though.

emekalovepets:
Go to olosho house in your area find one girl give Bella then marriage don start since you came from poverty home cus reasonable girl only date big boys

read your advice and check the kind of person you are, if you have nothing meaningful to say just shut your trap.

TheFreshVanilla:
There are still good girls. Check yourself again (Values and priorities).

I am not the problem trust me, I don't smoke, womanize, behave irresponsibly, what more can I do?

TheFreshVanilla:
Before you start playing victim, check yourself.

I gave an honest assessment of my situation without sugarcoating and your only reasoning is how I am playing victim? Seriously what is wrong with you?

I am a hardworking guy, I hustle 24/7, I have no social life, few physical friends, some social media friends, I'm intelligent and I'm attracted to intelligent girls too, it's something I find attractive, and I love traveling alot, especially with a romantic partner, I want someone I can hold a meaningful conversation with that won't resort to dumb and monosyllabic responses, I don't think it's too much to ask for a girl that fits this description, my plan was to settle down in my 20s, but I'm almost 30 and unlucky with love, I've tried so many desperate things like messaging so many girls on fb, most of them don't reply, tried dating apps same news, tried setting for less, same stuff, now all I want is something serious, someone to eventually settle down with and I feel the best time to start dating her is now before I clock 30, please I am open to suggestions, what tactics do I need to employ to get a serious girlfriend quickly, all my life I've only dated twice and it's so depressing seeing people with Thier partners and I'm some lonely guy who only cares about work and video games.

rickyamos:
To be realistic. You are too old already, after you finish learning on your own, you will need to get internship positions to get industry experience, internships position pays at most 50k, which can’t feed an adult. You can be an intern for as long as 1 to 2 years before you become proficient to become a junior developer

this is crazy honestly.

Sheriman:
You're not to old but I think reason why you're not grasping it is that this is Nigeria where a person at that your age is now on his own to provide for himself. You think of many thing in your mind which are What to eat? how will you be consistence? Family expectations? Societal pressure.

Yea you're right about the family problem part, as it is I'm the only one providing for my family, it's my biggest reason to why I am learning fullstack in the first place.

haybhi1:
Well, you're not too old. Open your mind and as you build more focus, you grasp.

My reservation is just the profitability of the full stack you're learning. It'd take about a year for your to grasp medium level. Meanwhile, atm techies are lamenting lack of jobs. Look in the news and see the rain of lay-offs swarming everywhere. FAANG continues to be kicking experienced people out. These people will compete against a inexperienced techie in job opportunities stifling more your chances.

I heard the opportunities are even harder for territorial Nigerians as remote jobs keeps getting extinct. It's about the 'glut' that's swallowed the industry.

I'm not looking to discourage you, just being realistic about what you're getting into. If you follow its news and even follow top, experienced NL techies like Tenza, I'll be sounding more like a realist than a thwarter to you.

The bright side, of course, is you having a great, innovative, unique idea upon which to build a product on to sell. Then money don come, but I hate how one white man might have already thought about it and started introducing it and rendering it to late.

So what do u suggest I learn, great advice but you didn't include what you'd do to remedy the problem.

I am going to be 28 this year, I bought two courses on udemy last year, first one is about designing, I have finished it, I had some challenges but I overcame although I feel I'm not good enough to work with my design skills, now I'm into the second course( fullstack development) and it has been tedious and stressful, I used to be intelligent when I was in school, stopped at ND because they was no money to further my education and get HND, instead of staying idle I decided to learn those skills, now I'm not grasping anything, I'm learning and giving my best but no results, I just can't grab it, I don't know wether it's because I am too old or b because I am bad at math, pls advice me on how to to actually know this, I want to be proficient enough to know it instead of googling and using chatgpt to bail myself out always.