₦airaland Forum

Ade1177:
My only advice is

don't be desperate and beg a lady to marry you

Or show her you love her too much and all you want is marriage

You will regret it

Wait even if it takes another 5YRS to find a lady that sees you as a small god and adores you

And when she begs you to settle down consider it if you can tolerate her when you no longer love her


Marriage is not what it looks like when you are single looking at it from outside

Remember your mind is different from a ladies mind
We don't think the same

Only married men who married a lady that just agreed to marry out of pressure will advice you better


As a man At 40 you are still young

Thanks for the advice, I am aware of all that, and I'm aware that desperate people make big mistakes, I'd not get married to someone that doesn't feel the same about me though, I have seen how disastrous that could be on the long run.

Prettygirl200:
is it that u don't want to reply the mail I sent to you or u actually posted this for cruise? Let me know so I can just forget it.

I replied

pansophist:
The more intelligent you are, the less likely you will experience love and romance. Furthermore, the more intelligent you are in Nigeria, it's even harder. And to be broke and intelligent in Nigeria is a suicide mission.

As a hustling guy, you probably want ladies around 26 downwards, the odds are not in your favor. Girls that age are still going on multiple dates weekly with numerous guys, the fun is too much for the ladies to abandon and settle down with a hustling guy like you.

Sorry for being the carrier of unfavorable news. But there is no point deceiving you with sugary news, you are already suffering.

I get bored easily if someone isn't exposed or intelligent, we can't come and be saying have you eaten everyday, it's so boring, someone that has something to say about any topic, even if she doesn't know the topic very well she can have a meaningful conversation instead of ok, ya, tnx, pls, yap.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Maybe you’re not that attractive then. But, don’t worry. Every unattractive person will eventually have someone.

As someone said up there, try being casual friends with these girls, you could be lucky and one of such could metamorphose into something beautiful even though I think a man and woman shouldn’t be friends. But, try anyway.

You sound so needy and desperate as well. Be careful there, hence you get used and tossed.

Lol, I'll not share my pic here because I value privacy, but is it by being goodlooking? If you're only interested in someone because of his looks that relationship won't last, na looks you chop? I'm not ugly though, just average.

pryme:
The majority of the population are poor, so they raise their kids the best way they could in a no frills manner, meaning no Cartoon Network, no intellectual YouTube channels, no exposure to intelligent content. MOST times the ones that do are from the well to do families. And girls from well to do families have their own circle, they hardly date outside that circle - are you in that circle!?
Remember MOST girls don't date down.

You could as well take what you can get in your own class. But if you are willing to play the long game, put yourself in the top 10% you will have plenty of options to choose from when you are in this position BECAUSE THESE ARE THE MEN MOST WOMEN ARE SEARCHING/WAITING/HOPING FOR.

Just go out more, hang out in cool places.
Don't take yourself too seriously, this will take the pressure off of you starting a conversation.
Always maintain eye contact when talking to a lady.

Be the best version of yourself, you will find it difficult settling for good for nothing women.

I am someone who doesn't care about status, money comes and goes and the importance people put on material possession is too much, yes I work hard to earn a better life for myself and my family, this is the reason why the only thing I dedicate most of my time to is hustling, that is why I have no friends or social life, and I'm not someone who is into so much socializing, so that circle thing isn't me, I just want purpose, someone that'd be my friend, confidant, wife in all, and her personality should compliment mine, but I can't seem to find anyone, that is the problem with me, I don't think this is too much to ask, someone intelligent, interesting, thoughtful, good looking, you mustn't be Beyonce just have good features, I'm not picky and I don't judge people by status or how popular you are, just be on same level with me and be loyal, cuz I don't cheat, cheating is a chore to me.

Prettygirl200:
I just sent u a mail u can reply it if u don't mind

Ok.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Are you ugly? Or do you look awkward? Do you have low-self esteem issues?

I don't know what you mean by awkward but I'm okay, not sure about the self esteem issues though.

emekalovepets:
Go to olosho house in your area find one girl give Bella then marriage don start since you came from poverty home cus reasonable girl only date big boys

read your advice and check the kind of person you are, if you have nothing meaningful to say just shut your trap.

TheFreshVanilla:
There are still good girls. Check yourself again (Values and priorities).

I am not the problem trust me, I don't smoke, womanize, behave irresponsibly, what more can I do?

TheFreshVanilla:
Before you start playing victim, check yourself.

I gave an honest assessment of my situation without sugarcoating and your only reasoning is how I am playing victim? Seriously what is wrong with you?

I am a hardworking guy, I hustle 24/7, I have no social life, few physical friends, some social media friends, I'm intelligent and I'm attracted to intelligent girls too, it's something I find attractive, and I love traveling alot, especially with a romantic partner, I want someone I can hold a meaningful conversation with that won't resort to dumb and monosyllabic responses, I don't think it's too much to ask for a girl that fits this description, my plan was to settle down in my 20s, but I'm almost 30 and unlucky with love, I've tried so many desperate things like messaging so many girls on fb, most of them don't reply, tried dating apps same news, tried setting for less, same stuff, now all I want is something serious, someone to eventually settle down with and I feel the best time to start dating her is now before I clock 30, please I am open to suggestions, what tactics do I need to employ to get a serious girlfriend quickly, all my life I've only dated twice and it's so depressing seeing people with Thier partners and I'm some lonely guy who only cares about work and video games.

rickyamos:
To be realistic. You are too old already, after you finish learning on your own, you will need to get internship positions to get industry experience, internships position pays at most 50k, which can’t feed an adult. You can be an intern for as long as 1 to 2 years before you become proficient to become a junior developer

this is crazy honestly.

Sheriman:
You're not to old but I think reason why you're not grasping it is that this is Nigeria where a person at that your age is now on his own to provide for himself. You think of many thing in your mind which are What to eat? how will you be consistence? Family expectations? Societal pressure.

Yea you're right about the family problem part, as it is I'm the only one providing for my family, it's my biggest reason to why I am learning fullstack in the first place.

haybhi1:
Well, you're not too old. Open your mind and as you build more focus, you grasp.

My reservation is just the profitability of the full stack you're learning. It'd take about a year for your to grasp medium level. Meanwhile, atm techies are lamenting lack of jobs. Look in the news and see the rain of lay-offs swarming everywhere. FAANG continues to be kicking experienced people out. These people will compete against a inexperienced techie in job opportunities stifling more your chances.

I heard the opportunities are even harder for territorial Nigerians as remote jobs keeps getting extinct. It's about the 'glut' that's swallowed the industry.

I'm not looking to discourage you, just being realistic about what you're getting into. If you follow its news and even follow top, experienced NL techies like Tenza, I'll be sounding more like a realist than a thwarter to you.

The bright side, of course, is you having a great, innovative, unique idea upon which to build a product on to sell. Then money don come, but I hate how one white man might have already thought about it and started introducing it and rendering it to late.

So what do u suggest I learn, great advice but you didn't include what you'd do to remedy the problem.

I am going to be 28 this year, I bought two courses on udemy last year, first one is about designing, I have finished it, I had some challenges but I overcame although I feel I'm not good enough to work with my design skills, now I'm into the second course( fullstack development) and it has been tedious and stressful, I used to be intelligent when I was in school, stopped at ND because they was no money to further my education and get HND, instead of staying idle I decided to learn those skills, now I'm not grasping anything, I'm learning and giving my best but no results, I just can't grab it, I don't know wether it's because I am too old or b because I am bad at math, pls advice me on how to to actually know this, I want to be proficient enough to know it instead of googling and using chatgpt to bail myself out always.

Why does nairaland take sides with scammers? Joshuadavidodog aka Phantomplanet aka wealthpreach scammed someone who paid him for blogging and nairaland erased every evidence the victim posted, then erased his 13 page thread full of evidence, do they want someone else to fall prey? Here's his info
08028880314
07064686180
Joshua David odogwu
2061394216
UBA

Joshuadavidodog:
I already offered him partial refund since 12pm

Gimme your phone number lemme discuss with you, if you can't pay I'll pay on your behalf but I'd like to have a discussion with you first.

Joshuadavidodog:
I already offered him partial refund since 12pm

Put yourself in his shoes, when bad things befall you now they'll blame village people, they didn't know you brought it upon yourself just because of cheap 10k scam, how lowly of you.

Joshuadavidodog:
I already offered him partial refund since 12pm

Pay him his money sir, I beg you, pay him his money, two wrong doesn't make a right.

Goalty01:
You actually did. I was about quoting the moniker when the thread was deleted.

For denying you didn't use your alternative account. Actually proves you scammed him.

Dauntless got him on screenshot and he's claiming it's Photoshop, dauntless has high Photoshop skills to make it look this real

Joshuadavidodog:
Did I lose? Look at what you're saying? All the free information I put out there for you people? Where does it show that I used phantomplanet? Everyone to their tent.


Phantom is learning from me. Everyone is asking what happened. Nothing happened. I am glad all those free information is gone.

Phantom is learning from you, habitual liar, check his screenshots you're so dumb.

Joshuadavidodog:
Did I lose? Look at what you're saying? All the free information I put out there for you people? Where does it show that I used phantomplanet? Everyone to their tent.

Oga check his screenshots stop being pathetic, it's not Photoshop it's real, pay him his money, you're better than this, or maybe you're not, you didn't use Phantomplanet yet it's there for all to see, everything here points at you as a thief and you're being cocky about it, if you didn't use that account why did you spell it so well?

Goalty01:
My thought too

People are not to be trusted this days. That is how I was scammed by Igemburg too. And he's even proud he scammed me.

I knew he was fishy the moment he started insulting and using words, all this while he has been pretending because the wealthpreach on that thread is not the same with the one I am seeing now.

Joshuadavidodog:
Nice photoshop.

Tite yourself out. You need it. So what's your point in this whole thing? Did I teach you or not? Are you in a group of 10 people that paid? Is it the same thing I taught you all?

Sir I don't know how you're doing this but it seems nairaland is on your side because I followed the thread, never missed a thing, he didn't Photoshop any of this as I witnessed it live before nairaland took your side and deleted the thread the moment you exposed yourself, pay him his money, the 10k is not worth ruining your reputation over, please refund him.

longetivity:
Bros e be like say na low self esteem you get you no be introvert

So how did u come to that conclusion?

Since I've known myself I have this demon I've been trying to overcome all my life, I never express my feelings physically, when you encroach on my life, push me to the limit, have me cornered, annoy me, take advantage of me, I'll never tell you how I feel, I'll never point it out, even though every nerve in me is screaming let it out, people take advantage of this alot, they just do things and say afterall he won't react and truely I won't react, most times I'm dying inside, always depressed, sad and melancholic, now what's worse of this whole thing is, I have liked few girls since I come of age, and the likeness is always intense, I hardly fall for girls because I have a preference most girls don't fit, but when I fall, I fall hard, now what's killing me is, all the girls I have ever felt anything for, I never for once voiced it, I never asked any of them out, I guess I internalize and overthink everything and I hate myself afterwards especially when I realize there's high possibility she could've said yes if I asked, I'm now an adult I still can't overcome this, so my dating life is basically nonexistent, how can I change my personality, it's making me antisocial, like dangerously antisocial and alone, the only good thing in all of this is, since I have zero friends and social life I invest alot of my time to video games, movies and hustling, just to fill that void and emptiness, and I'm always indoors.