₦airaland Forum

Pukkalolo:
Ok, LifeofDream... Here's the little problem.

Before I tell you what the problem is, let me first tell you what's NOT the problem.

The problem is NOT that she's not interested you...because as you said, she visited you 4 times in 2 days but you weren't around those times. At least that a good sign she's interested in you.

So what's the real problem

Let's begin properly....

On a low-key, the most attractive quality a guy can possess is...

PATIENCE.


Now, don't get it wrong. Patience DOESN'T mean not taking action or not moving the interaction forward.

Patience means taming your eagerness for her pussy.

Women are emotionally unstable, that's why they might throw out what the redpill call "shit test" and they might act indecisive or dramatic... Women emotional instability confuses the shit out most guys.

As you said, you'll be traveling three days later and you wanted to escalate things with her quickly... Fear of losing out on her prevented you from being patient. You fear to lose her, so you eagerly rush in...and then she gets turnoff by your "eagerness"... Note, she didn't lost interest, she was only just turned off.

If you've read my stuff on nairaland, you see that I always talk about not being pussy focused...but instead, being attention focused.

I realized the hard way that you will never have true romantic success if women are not ones working to earn your attention. A woman's interest in a guy naturally increase if she have to work to earn and keep his attention... By showing eagerness for her sexual companionship, your value drastically reduced in her eyes. Again, note: she didn't lost interest in you, your value only just reduced in her eyes.

I've noticed when hanging out with a girl, if I'm confident and act like I don't really care for the pussy----I often get the pussy.

This is because my attitude comes off as patient and sexually detached, so in her mind she assumes I get pussy alot that's why I'm not eager for it.

Many times, guys mess their opportunities with women NOT because they didn't act fast but because they just weren't patient enough.

Remember, Patience DOESN'T mean not moving the interaction forward.

Patience means having a confident and positive attitude even when things aren't going smoothly the way you would want it to.

If you are too eager, and in a rush to get the pussy, you naturally tend to send "unattractive" signals to her

Women are more patient than guys when it comes to sex.... That's why they often control the sex

Times without number, guys have told me about girls flaking on them and not showing up to a date or to their place.

See guys, understand this hardcore truth:

Girls, I mean, beautiful girls will mostly flake on you the first time.... It almost guaranteed; unless you promise to give her cool cash if she shows up.

She might come with different bullshit excuses on why she didn't show up... But the truth is that, the only reason why she didn't show up is because she's not yet "comfortable" with you.

Now, some guys will say, "If she's attracted to you, she's suppose to make it easier for you."

Nah bro... Again, understand this:

A Woman don't make it easier for you because she's attracted to you... But rather she makes things easier because she's comfortable with you.

Did you spot the difference?

Sadly, most times, if a woman is attracted, she actually often want to play a bit hard to get and test your confidence, just to really confirm if you are truly an emotionally strong dude that can lead her....

A girl can be attracted to you but still give you a bit tough time, because she's not yet comfortable with you or trust you.

Women takes a lot longer to feel sexually comfortable with a guy, than it is for a guy to get sexually comfortable with women.

Infact guys easily get comfortable with girls. That's why the average guy can just invite any girl he sees on the street to his place. But girls don't easily get comfortable with guys. That's why they might tends to flake on showing up to your place the first time...

That's why having good game isn't the ability to make a woman attracted to you... But rather having game is the ability to make a woman become comfortable with you effortlessly..

For example, you can be attracted to the decorated gift I'm offering you, but you are not comfortable accepting it because you don't know my intentions or agenda, or you don't know what's really inside decorated gift.

So in order to get you to accept the gift, first of all, I'll have to be "patient" with you... while confidently neutralizing all the psychological barrier in your head that's preventing you from accepting the gift.

Pukkalolo:
I'll drop #4 ideas on your question on escalating. From there, maybe you can learn something. I hope so.

#1 Idea
This police man stopped us...then he gesture to my guy who was on the steering to pull down the glass.

He looked at us dead in the eyes as if he was tryna read our thoughts. Then he ask for driver's license. When my guy showed him his license, the police man titled his head and looked him in a confused way as if, "he doesn't know what he's doing."

Kinda similar to what you say that when you start to escalate, the girl start forming as if "she doesn't know what you are saying."

My guy quickly get the cue: he opened his wallet and gave him a thousand note. The moment the police collected the money, he smiled and said, "now you are talking!"

Then he gesture to my guy to whine up and get the Bleep. We zoomed off!!

Sometimes, like you said, if you want to escalate they will start forming and giving you the "I don't know what you are saying" vibe. That's female manipulative game: she knows exactly what you are saying but she is acting that way to knock you of your game and see if you can get you to spend money on her

In a nutshell, women want you to "spend money" on them in your attempt to woo them, and just like the police officer, If you are not doing that, she might give you the "I don't know what you are saying" vibe when you try to escalate.

Don't fall for her trap.



#2 Idea.

Escalating is fun and smooth when you dealing with the woman who has some interest in you.
There is difference between a lady who has interest in you AND a lady who's only enjoying the attention she's getting from you AND a lady who is only being polite and looking for an excuse to dismiss you.

The solution is to “test the waters”, to see if there's any interest, so you won't be wasting your time on the wrong chick.

They say, failure is the key to success...but it depends on the situation where the failure happens. Remember, people only want associate with success not failure... If you fail officially on life TV where the whole world is watching you, that might reduce trust and respect people have for you. But if you fail on a low-key, privately, you can quickly learn from your mistakes while still retain your respect and use what you learn to succeed in public.

That's why most companies test their products before launching it; they even give it to people for free and get their feedbacks before finally launching it.

I mean, it foolish to launch a big move, when you have not yet launch smaller moves first...

It's not rocket science, it's common sense.

For example, let's say I'm hanging out with a woman...then the idea of kissing her flash on my mind...so I think "this is an opportunity to escalate"...

So I boldly lean in to kiss her...but surprisely I'm soundly and harshly rejected by her... "Stop it, how dare you try to kiss me." she roared.

That's a big move, that ended in big failure: she consciously rejected my escalation(kiss).... She's clearly aware of it and her respect for me might reduce a bit (and it will continuously reduce if I keep trying to make attempt to kiss her.)

Speaking from experience, most girls know if they’re into you or not within the first few seconds of meeting you. So, logically, when meeting a woman, the idea is to quickly test the waters and see what her deal is.

With women, it's sometimes better she reject your escalation low-key, and still retain your respect and diginity. Using the previous example, when the idea of kissing her cross my mind...instead of drawing close to kiss her, I simply "test the waters" by softly touching her on the arm or hand, and watch her reaction. I observed how the she react...If she react negatively by quickly removing her hand or something... I might touch her again later when there is more trust. I still retain my respect.

What if she's comfortable with being touched on the arm or hand (and she even touch my hands too), then I can move on to keep touching her more intimately....then going for the kiss will just flow naturally.

A girl that reject my touch on her arms or hand, will definitely reject my kiss. It's not rocket science, it's common sense.


#3 Idea

Escalating is simply moving things forward with the girl.
Most men see escalation as a series of sequence they must conquer: talk to her and get her name, then get her digit; then chatting with her and get her to respond well; then get her to meet up..then get a hug...then get a kiss, then get the pussy...and boom... victory!! You are winner.
However, this is a sad way to view it.
Because, one, you are putting the pussy on pedestal. And Two, And you are creating win lose vibe.

What do I mean by win lose vibe?

Here's what I mean: when you escalate smartly and get the pussy, you feel like the winner...but then what does she feels like?

Well, you guess right!! She feels like the LovePeddler, the slut and the loser.

This is why many women don't want to lose: so while you are trying to sexually escalate the interaction using every seduction tool in your arsenal, she's also trying to financially escalate the interaction.

When a woman meets a man, subconsciously or consciously she’s analyzing the amount of resources he possesses. She's feeling you out to see how much money you would be willing to spend on her...and then she's start trying to manipulate you into spending money using any female tricks possible.


Getting the pussy...automatically makes her the loser. So when you try to escalate and move the interaction forward, she put up an obstacle so she won't feel cheap. And the obstacle can be in any form. Just like in your situation-->when you start to escalate, the girl start forming as if "she doesn't know what you are saying"... That's her own form of obstacle.


Some fellas would say, "yo, yo, this is where having a good "mouth piece" comes in.

Hmmm.....

I just remembered an incidence:
Few weeks earlier, my cousin visited me and while talking generally, he started telling me about a guy(his friend) in his estate who's smashing lots of chicks because he has "good game", "sweet mouth", "good mouth piece" or whatever.

Wow! I was curious to see this guy...he showed me a photo and a short tiktok video of him.

I was marveled to see that this guy is particularly tall, has an athletic physique and he has an handsome face, and he's a bit popular on ticktok because has great dancing skils.

I tried my best to convince my cousin that the reason why he's smashing lots of girls is plainly because of the above qualities he has, and not because he has, "sweet mouth", "good mouth piece" or any whatever crap....

But that's a topic for another day... let's me not derail this post.

It's natural that when you try to move the interaction forward, she put up an obstacle... One way to handle this situation is to creating a win win vibe NOT win lose vibe.

Most term popularized by redpill community naturally create a "YOU vs the Girl" vibe.... terms like game, escalating, passing shit test, frame control...It makes the simple act of talking to a girl seem like you are entering a battle ground and a power tussle game. This naturally create a YOU vs HER vibe where nobody wants to feel like a loser.

To make the "escalation" happen smoothly and the interaction grow naturally towards sex (and maybe amazing romantic relationship), you want to create a YOU with HER vs the world vibe... that's a WIN WIN vibe. Basically, you want create a "cooperating vibe"....



If your behavior indicates that you are faking, playing games, being phony or being judgemental...that won't inspired cooperation vibe between you and her...That would create a power tussle where both you and the girl don't want to loose guard... and where you and her would be trying to outsmart yourself.

When you create a cooperation vibe, the idea of sex, won't be something you have to tactically escalate to, but rather it becomes something you and her are looking forward to have together.

Different women needs different level of cooperating vibe...Logically, Some women, especially those with past traumas and negative experience with men might require a higher level of cooperation vibe for the sexual escalation to progress.


Creating a cooperation vibe kicks in when you change the goal of your interaction from "getting" to "cooperating" ....

Instead of thinking in a getting way: "what can I do to get her to give me the pussy and not lose interest in me?" you are thinking in a cooperative way -- "what can I do to create an interaction where mind games, deception or disrespect doesn't exist?

Instead of thinking in a getting way: "what can I do to get her to like me and accept me," you are thinking in a cooperative way -- "What can I do to find out if I and this girl share the same interests and Intention so we won't waste each other time??"

These cooperative way of thinking doesn't sound sexy to the alpha wannabe junkies, but this kind thinking is what grow you into a mature, confident self-assured dude who naturally attract classy and high quality chick...

Classy and high quality chicks loves and respect mature, confident and self-assured dudes. It's not rocket science, it's common sense.




#4 Idea

Women are naturally program to resist a man's escalation attempt because they don't want to seem easy or cheap. However, the more attracted and interested she is in the guy, the less likely she is to resist him.

So if there's no much attraction or interest yet, it's natural that when you try to escalate, she'd put up an obstacle... One way you can possibly handle this situation is to prevent this situation in the first place by YOU actually putting up an obstacle first. So that the focus of the interaction will now be on your obstacle and not her's.

2 weeks ago, chatting with this lady; after congratulating her on her birthday. I was not that interested in her, but for experimentation purpose, I decided to move the interaction forward (escalate)....

Of course, I expected that she'd put up an obstacle because she's kinda cute, in her prime and getting massive attention from guys...

So I began with something along the lines of,
"you are my kind of girl, but I heard March born ladies are naturally self-centered and selfish... please how true is that?"

If you can interpret the above statement, you'd noticed I tried to escalate the interaction but I also put up an obstacle immediately on why I might not pursue any intimacy with her...

She started subtly defending and trying to change that negative idea I have about ladies March born girls. That is her own way of trying to neutralize the obstacle I'm putting up.

So now the focus of the interaction is now on the obstacle I created and not on the obstacle she should have created.

Most times, when a girl start trying to change the negative opinion you have about her, her interest for you gradually goes up..

In an attempt to create more obstacles on the idea of being self-centered and selfish, I told her, "I doubt if she has ever bought birthday gift for a guy before."
Of course, again she tries to remove the obstacle, telling me different situations where she bought gift for the guy she was dating in the past and the difference experiences she had with that...... Our interaction got deeper and deeper.

With her, I wasn't so much concerned getting the pussy, I was more concerned with testing the waters, creating obstacles (challenging her ego) and creating a cooperating vibe...

If you noticed that's the summary of the 4 ideas

When I tried to escalate by asking us to meet up, she enthusiastically agreed. Saying I'll be pleased to go out with you....The date ended up in my house.

I hope this was helpful.

luminouz:
pukkalolo

You made nice points!!

Yes...you can be the Alpha guy or the third guy who walks out instantly. For me, the alpha guy doesn't have to spit that wordplay scenario you quoted everytime. He can simply walk off if the girl's energy is off.

I am not Drake's level. I still don't tolerate bullshit from any woman because of abundance mindset. Oneitis is a very crazy thing. It messes up your mind and gives you no backup plans.

Lastly, every woman shit test you. Your wife, your mother, sister, aunt and grandma!!! Every woman!! You won't walk off everytime, would you? So you need how to learn to pass that test, simply by not playing their game. Play yours by staying in your own frame.

Pukkalolo:
I get sexual opportunities being thrown at me by ladies because I understand that attraction and getting sex is primitively simple---but the society and media complicate things for guys by saying you must cure cancer, build space ship and become a man of greatness that a stadium full of people are dying to touch before you can finally get the girl.

But that's total bullshit

Pukkalolo:
A girl being attracted to you is not enough, she also has to feel safe about showing interest you.

NamelessOGBENI:
The fact that the man is a redpiller makes the journey smooth sailing.

I used to be an over analyzer before and after every relationships I've been to and I can tell you for free that every of your words ring a bell. I know it's kind of hard coming off being a bit unemotional in this crazy word but I discovered something along the line, once you can feign the unemotional part in your relationship very well you're on your way to great thing.

Once again, kudos to the writer and I had to bookmark this just to relieve your words again

Demol09:
Cool write-up.

There's was a girl I met for the first time, the words that came out of my mouth was "what's up with you girls that think what a man wants from a lady he approaches is only sex. Well, I'm a different man oo, I just want to pull off her panties and know what exactly she's really hiding there."
She called me a blunt asshole which I'd rather be that a nice guy. The rest is history though.
Don't play safe, don't be nice to her, have the mindset of losing her before having her, works 90% of the time.

bepositive11:
I would say that a man and woman can only be friends when they both know what they want and know that they are not compatible with each other

Magnoliaa:
You should tag me properly if you want a response or engagement from me. Is that not what you want? Don't I quote you properly?

Yes, to your question. Simps are the kind of men I like. Yes, they are the real men I want every man to be. They are the kind befitting for a hoe like me. I have no single criticism for them.

Have a nice day.