₦airaland Forum

babajeje123:
It isn't an easy task to stay out of it when you are already doing it. I read your previous thread and bro, you need to open up to someone your wife regards. At this point, you may need to bring in a third party, someone she holds in high esteem, who can help you to resolve issues. Also, you may need to go spiritual way. Talk to God about her for He's able to change every hardened heart.

EfemenaXY:
Why isn't she "cooperating"?

What have you done to offend her so??

ymee:
He is a monster, I can't sleep with someone I don't luv let alone getting her pregnant.

A New Metal is added to Chemistry

Name: WIFE
Symbol: Wf
Atomic mass: Light when first found... tends to get heavier over the years with time.

Physical Properties
- Boils at any time
- Can freeze at any time
- Melts if treated with love
- Very Bitter if Mishandled

Chemical Properties
- Very Reactive
- Highly Unstable
- Possesses Strong Affinity towards Gold, Silver, Diamond, Platinum, Credit cards, Debit cards & Cheque books
- Money Reducing Agent

Occurrence
Mostly found in front of the Mirror.

It's highly flammable when mixed with in-laws.

It has mixed properties when seated with parents.

Woe unto you if she sees you with any element similar to itself!

cocolacec:
Is your wife finish or a Nigerian?
I think you and your wife need to go for a vacation like 7 days without the kids to another city or country to spice us your married life.

cocolacec:
Is your wife finish or a Nigerian?
I think you and your wife need to go for a vacation like 7 days without the kids to another city or country to spice us your married life.

cocolacec:
Is your wife finish or a Nigerian?
I think you and your wife need to go for a vacation like 7 days without the kids to another city or country to spice us your married life. She is Nigerian. Bro, common to go out to celebrations , she never agrees unless on very rare occasions.I have suggested that severally, she did not even listen

ColonelDrake:
Seems you're a broke ass. Why would you allow your wife push you over like that? All grown up man with four kids for that matter. I'm ashamed for you right now. Grow some balls and get a life. A fool is 40 is a fool for forever. Stop disgracing men, you pussy nigga.

Afamed:
If you need to get to the root of the situation, never confront her with any suspicious message until the day the baby is born. For now, take away any discussion that has to do with DNA. This is because she might find a way of terminating the pregnancy as a way of covering up.

Manueleee:
To me, do the test without her knowing. all the need is the baby blood and urs. don't inform her what you are about doing. after the test u will know what next to do.

Andiebest:
Yet another story of a MAD BLACK WOMAN from a broken home n possibly many broken relationships. This is a norm with our African American sisters but this ugly trend is gradually growing in Africa too due to same factors of broken homes n abuse in previous relationships made worse by refusal to spiritual n professional help. It's pertinent to note that abt 90% of African American children grow up with single parents esp their mom's n that fatherly love n firmness from the dad is missing. They grow up seeking love from men they never had from their dad's (either cos their supposed parents never wanted them, their mom's don't know who the real father is or their mom was hoping to trap a brother with them but d man still bailed anyway). Because they don't know what they want, they make terrible choices with men who show them no love n even abuse them adding salt to injury leaving them broken. Deed is done, we all make mistakes but maturity is the ability to recognize our strengths n weaknesses n create a planned program to work on our weaknesses but what do our sisters do, become hardened n refuse spiritual & professional help. They transfer all the aggression on the (unfortunate) good man they meet, simply put they choose to become IRREDEEMABLY MAD. God understands you have been through a lot that's why He sent u a good man eventhough u lack a sense of hood judgements but you decide to make his life miserable n turn him into a TIRED BLACK MAN. Then he walks away when he can't take it anymore.
SOLUTION
- Seek spiritual help: Speak to your pastor/priest about your issues. Speak to your marriage in the church. Even doctors admit that they only treat but only God truly heals.
- Seek professional help: See a "shrink" as u call them. They have handled worse cases, they will help in no small measure.
-Pray for your spouse, pray n eat together daily. A family that prays together stays together n I don't mean living like co-tenants.
PREVENTION
- Do not expect your spouse to change after marriage, what u see is what u get. Watch your partner's relationship with family closely before taking things to the next level cos you will also be family.
- No reason to be "terminally mad" just excuses. You are not the only person from a broken home or that has been abused, Joyce Meyer was raped repeatedly by her dad but today is an evangelist. You can CHOOSE to live a better life irrespective of your past, Others have done it you too CAN - YES YOU CAN.
- Avoid pretty marital sex, that way you do not have to worry about having children out of wedlock.
- Do not abuse your partner physically, mentally, emotionally.
- Marry a devoted Christian n pray without ceasing.
- Marry for where you are going not for where you are. I always tell would couples discover your purpose in life first n be in pursuit before contemplating marriage. Vision is key to association n as such only people headed in the same direction should travel together.
Pls ignore any typos... Speed typing
My Telegram - https:///andiebest

Biggers82:
My brother does your wife know you wash dishes at your sidechick's house?

kennykendo:
Bro I really do sympathize with you, people are liking your post when you are out soliciting for help.....

In the olden days, parents chose wives for their sons because they had experience and could see what we couldn't see naturally.. but now that the world is revamping a lot has gone and a lot has begun...

way back in your courtship days, that was the time to ascertain her true character, just as it is hard for a Casanova guy in a real relationship to quit bleeping around, so is it tough for a woman with a horrible character to quit it after marriage..

I have been in an abusive relationship before, she always yelled at me at the slightest opportunity.... and always threatened to leave...when she said it again while I was damn sick...I didn't speak to her for three bloody months...
and each time she did something bad unlike before when I accept the blame, I quickly look at her even without speaking then she'd seat up...what caused all that...her insecurities...

now here's what to do. seat her down and ask her again for the umpteenth time calmly let her tell you her problem(of course insecurities and inferiority complex are the issues because of her bad temper; they work hand in hand). if she doesn't, look for an apartment elsewhere if you have the money and carry your kids there silently without raising dust and give her absence and space..If she really cares she might go to the kids' school and want to pick them herself(after she has noticed the absence), at this point I really need you to yell at her not on the phone but face to face.. look her in the eye and yell at her...

if you have never yelled at her she'd be scared of you and will cool down.. you actually attacked her psychologically, even if she begs you like a king, ignore her for as long as possible and if you have the balls, threaten to divorce her and leave nothing for her...look her in the eye when you are saying these things....it might be hard for you...but you need to...(definitely you don't mean the divorce thingy just to scare her)...

this isn't a relationship, but marriage which you can't pull out from...

most women abuse the men who die silently, yet the world never looks at this... rather everywhere there are agencies protecting women which isn't bad, but about the men...

feel free to call me if you don't want us to talk about personal things here, number in my signature..

jpphilips:
Are you done? for what it is worth, the bold parts of your whining requires that your certificate of Masculinity must be withdrawn, It doesn't matter what anyone here advised, I never bothered to read their comments except yours, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your marriage, You are simply a disgrace who married a smarter wife, please remain with this one and don't dare take your disgraceful self to another lady, you may end up corrupting her with your self pity and incompetent disgraceful self.
God gave you a family to lead not whine all over the internet like a cry baby, jeez!! If I was your friend and you come to me with this stvpidity, i will give you a dirty slap so bad you may not recognise your wife, now get the fvck off the internet and go be a man using every means logically necessary to restore sanity for the sake of your kids

FortuneTeller:
You never answered my question. DO YOU HAVE A JOB? Does she work more than you do? It would be strange for her to be home and never give you the same dinner she is giving her children. Seriously if you have no job or she makes much more than you do, you may as well fold your hands and let her be. However that would not be the only cause of her behavior. She's not going to change. I'm telling you, I've never been an exceptionally happy person. I always have a complaint, but that's just who I am. If my husband left, I would probably go into a depression because he is my only close friend. However I rarely treat him nice. If my husband wants to hear me talk nice to him, he starts talking about going home to Nigeria. I just tell him he wants to abandon me and put a sad look on my face (that is my version of being nice). It makes him laugh and say "my baby". Just learn to laugh and you will be happier.

Guyman02:
Let me share a bit with you, you get into these kind of relationships at a point when you are buoyant as a young man, you practically do everything for this pretty lady you met and fell in love with without even caring that she is not adequately returning the favours.
You are blinded by infatuation and everything seems all rosy.

The moment you sign the marriage documents, you realise that you have not stamped your feet down in the relationship with her and did not study every bit and pieces of her innermost character, you then start making efforts to become the man you should have been during courtship, she resists every move knowing fully well that it is now difficult for you to quit or end the relationship because you are now married.

If anything happens to your income or added responsibilities is taking a large chunk from your fixed income, thats when you realise that you have a wife who is inconsiderate and cares only about herself and how to accumulate resources for herself alone, you realise that you live with woman who will password her phones so that you dont stumble into her bank alert statement, she spends her money and invests it however she want without declaring much to you and tell you that the kids are yours and if you like dont pay their school schools and house rent and even use propaganda by asking you in your childrens front what kind of father and husband are you who cannot pay his childrens fees.

Meanwhile she will push you into putting the kids into expensive schools with a promise to help with the fees but will renege on her promise after 2 terms of cooperation.

As a father you cant stand and watch your kids suffer, nor withdraw them and put them into a more affordable but discrepit school which will look like retrogression and can even affect your psyche as a man.
This kind of women are narcissistic and know how to hook the nice and gentle guys, perhaps you ladies should know more about how they achieve that.
In retrospect, the man will also realize that he abandoned a good girl somewhere along who cared so much about him but didnt know how to pretend about her feelings and you feel like turning back the hands of time.

PaperLace:
Yes, you're very right.
Some of us might be worse,some of us have seen the worst_but something differentiated us from OP's wife. to let us know we're hurting our loved ones. It is what makes one seek help and make a U-turn to make things right. Something you and his wife seem to lack.

I pray you find peace and stop trolling me with different accounts.
You'll be ignored henceforth _that you might begin to doubt your existence.

loshybab:
I second this.
Please share your pre marriage story to enable us learn.
Thanks!

Slai1:
Op, you have made mention of brethren, though once. So I suspect you are both Christians . That said, I have not heard you make mention of 'Pastoral Counselling'. YOU BOTH NEED THAT. She might end up needing deliverance, along the line. Draw closer to God.

This is equally a call to every family man, woman and intending home-maker. You can't really do it on your own. The arm of flesh will fail you. Except 'The Lord' builds a house, they labour in vain that build it. Except 'The Lord' watches over a city, the watchmen keep awake in vain. jeremiah17:5, 2nd Chronicles 32:8