PresVA:
I really don't understand why some people are trying to justify what the lady nanny did...

She wasn't paid well, she wasn't this and that.. so what? what stopped her from terminating the contract the right way and save the OP all the stress. . isn't she an adult that can decide whether to work or not?

What she did is wrong from all angles. ..

I'm even scared that the Nanny's family in Ghana may request for their daughter when the OP returns without her.. and if anything happens to her in the UK even while they maybe aware of her whereabouts, they'll still hold OP responsible. ..

Op, you've done the right thing by reporting. . stop responding to people trying to justify this criminal act...

Thanks so much for being a voice of reason. Very disappointing to read some of the commends trying to justify crime. I'm sure her family is complicit, I've been trying to get her mother's number but to no avail. I've left it to the authorities and most importantly to God. She really scammed us and exploited our kindness and trust but life must go on.

Boss13:


She wasn’t paying her well. If she was, I don’t think the Nanny will consider absconding. I bet the Nanny will make more money doing menial jobs that her current pay. There are some loopholes in this story that requires serious answers.

I’m currently in London and I do know you must have proper address of the destination you intend to visit. Hence, the Nanny planned absconding prior traveling and she perfected it well.

OP need to report this or it would affect her chances of ever visiting the UK in the future. She might even be labeled a trafficker.

She was paid very well for a nanny. We paid her more than MOST nannies receive in Africa. In fact we had recently increased her salary so you're wrong to say she wasn't paid well. Look we had just offered to start paying half of the fees for her children's boarding school. Like I said earlier, it's a clear case of lack of integrity and also greed. Yahoo fradusters are another example- they scam people using the justification that they're poor. People will always find a justification for selfish and greedy actions. Forgetting that not every nanny absconds in England, neither is every unemployed graduate a yahoo fraudster.

I've reported it. Did so immediately after it happened, and I will keep following up with the authorities.

unknownsolja:


At the end of the day she would always still be a nanny to you.well as i said its not easy and you did alot for her.so just let karma get to her

Yep, that's it really. Never blurr the lines between employment relationships and never go out of your way for staff. Never treat them like your own, do not make sacrifices for them. It's sad but that's the best method. Africans are generally known to not treat their domestic staff well. Lots of Nigerians over work and exploit their staff but I was determined to defy those trends. I have never been the "madam" type. I related with her very informally and encouraged her to speak to me about issues she was dealing with. I mean this is someone who was able to tell me that she wants an abortion. This is someone who confided in me about her marital woes and asked me if she could go and confront her husband. So you can understand that we actually developed a good and trusting relationship, despite fact that I was her employer. But that's life for you. Thanks for your comments.

unknownsolja:



even if she enters the UK with a tourist visa in the future she will never return,correct me if am wrong..which money is involved in getting the visa for her..all you had to pay was her visa fee and her flight ticket.look dont get me wrong you did alot for her and she messed up.but my point is stuff like this happens and you should never have trusted her so much.why couldnt you just get a nanny in the UK.you guys always like african maids the ones you can treat the african way.you have lots of nanny there in the UK you could have easily gotten one.you want the easiest and the cheapest one.you know having a full time nanny in the UK will cost you alot because you have to pay by the hour so you need a nanny you can wake up in the middle of the night to do ish for you.again i applaud you for what you did for her as its not easy trust me and i can feel your pain.but thats life.even if you held onto her passport she would still run away.people are wicked so thats life.move on and leave karma to do justice and dont wish her evil.

She's been working for us since my son was 5 weeks old. Much easier to travel with someone whom you believe you know and have developed a relationship with and critically who your child is comfortable and familiar with, than to hire a new nanny. And you're very wrong to say that one cannot find cheap African nannies here. There are affordable African nannies here- infact the illegal immigrants such as our former nanny are usually exploited because they do not have valid papers. They're the ones who end up being paid 60 pounds a well! Yes it is happening here in London.

And you're wrong- apart from ticket flight and visa application (expedited service) btw a domestic worker visa expedited service costs over 600 pounds, there were other costs such as accomodation, living costs and clothing.

unknownsolja:


oh please get down from your high horse already.we all know british citizens dont need a visa so you need not tell us again,try and ask your forefathers how they entered the UK.many absconded and later changed their status,so praying for her to be arrested is just wrong.yes what she did was wrong but thats life you need to move on.there are many illegal africans in the UK,she wont be the first and the last.she saw an opportunity and she took it and hopefully she will give birth to her kid in the UK.you learnt your lesson.trust nobody..ish happens

Why should I not pray for her to be arrested? Are you serious? I have sympathy for many illegal
Immigrants, many of them, but I have no sympathy for people who wreck havoc on other people to achieve selfish aims and ambitions. That's like telling a victim of fraud not to pray for the fraudsters to be caught. I am not following.

Lovelywings:


Whether 'valid' or not, the relationship is terminated. Let me ask you, did you tell the woman before you went to the UK that the trip was an investment in her? And can you compare going for a course in the UK with other professionals to improve your business skills with being taken to work in someone's home as a nanny? Was she networking with nanny agencies while on your trip? Did you give her a hotel room where she can watch cable after an evening stroll with fellow nannies to eat gelato?

Come on now. Again, I'm not saying you were a terrible employer. She wasn't attending a seminar that enhances her resume. She was doing the same job as before, networking with the same people as before (you and your family), with a few bonuses thrown in. You need to step back and view this objectively. It doesn't matter whether it's good or bad. She left you to pursue other work and life opportunities.

How about this. If she had given you 2 weeks notice, would you have let her leave, or would you have tried to restrain her and thwart her plans? I notice some people advising you to withhold passport. It is ILLEGAL to hold another person's passport. Do that and see yourself arrested for human trafficking. Look, I get that it is disappointing and highly inconvenient. I wish she hadn't done it. You just need to fulfil your legal obligation to report her to Immigration, cut your losses and move on. In afraid there is nothing you can do to prevent this from happening again. Just like Nigerian Breweries can't prevent an employee from quitting today.

She wasn't networking because networking isn't beneficial to her in the same way that it is to a professional, but she was certainly receiving benefits that would have improved her life. For starters, the visa I procurred for her, had she complied with the terms of the visa, would have all but guaranteed her successful visa applications to the U.K in the future. Secondly, shopping for bee family, visiting tourist sites, enjoying new experiences etc are all tangible benefits or privileges linked to the trip. You may disregard these benefits but the fact is most African nannies do not receive such benefits. And yes she ate ice cream in her while relaxing in her room in the evenings and we treated her like family. We would ask her everyday if she wanted or needed anything at all! Apart from helping us with my son, we actually were determined to ensure she had a good and memorable trip in England. This is a clear case of greed and exploitation. If she had told me that she didn't want to work for us anymore, I would not have held her against her will.

Again, what you're doing as well, like the previous poster is asking me to rationalize criminal conduct. She didn't "leave for a better opportunity", she committed an immigration offense and absconded in breach of the terms of her visa. She exploited us, her employers and used us to further her objectives. She was fully aware of the significant sums of money that was involved in procuring her visa and ensuring her stay in England and all the investments. Like I stated above, quitting her job in Ghana is one thing. However, travelling to the U.K. under the pretex that you're going to work for your employers, taking all the clothes and material items including a phone bought for the trip, absconding from their house without as much as a note or text messaging informing them, blocking them from your phone so that you can't be contacted and can disappear into the underground Ghanaian community knowing how much effort (not just financial effort btw) your employers expended on you for the trip and even previously (all the generous acts that they did for you, all the support including offering to pay your childrens school fees), etc... that's another things entirely. I would feel just as disappointed if my friend did the same thing to me. It's simply about principles and violation of trust and confidence. This is the reason why some employers do not warm up to domestic staff. You treat them like family and they mess you up.

Mercurypanther:
I honestly feel her pain... I quite understand why the OP needs her to Exit UK with her.. Because the maid is going to damage the OP travel record or History as such the OP can't apply for UK visit again and she's going to be banned for 10yrs if she live UK without the House girl.. OP/Madam look for her ooooh..... If not this is your last visit to UK. Within 10yrs...

Yes, it's very painful experience not because of immigration implications ( I am a British citizen and I don't need a visa to enter the U.K.) but because of the breach of trust, goodwill and confidence. I was scammed so it hurts. Ive reported the crime which I was not complicit in and which I am not responsible for. Her name is now in the system. Hopefully she is caught soon, arrested, detained and deported.

Lovelywings:


Madam, she was your staff. Emphasis on staff. Sorry to be blunt but that woman does not belong to you. I notice you say she has a husband and children. Yet she was living in your house (in a private room) apart from her own family to take care of yours. I'm not blaming you. My point is that she is not your slave and she can leave whenever she wants for a better opportunity. I get that it's disruptive and upsetting to you. I just want you to see things from her perspective. Its one thing if she stole your TV and cash when she was leaving. It sounds like she didn't?

Your former nanny saw a better opportunity and took it. She calculated that living illegally in the UK was better than being a nanny in Ghana for someone else children. If you try to be objective, it makes sense.

I disagree with you fundamentally and your comments to an extent reflect why Nigeria and many parts of Africa are the way they are- no progress. The quest for a better life should not entail ;

A) scamming your employers;

B) exploiting their kindness;
C) Committing immigration crimes.

Where do you draw the line? You're trying to rationalize crime. This is the same line of thinking that drives politicians to loot billions, justifying their actions by convicing themselves that they aretrying to help their families. Exploiting, cheating and scamming people for selfish gain and interest.

Also, she is NOT entitled to be in England without me. She was NOT issued a tourist visa- she was issued a domestic worker visa on the basis that she would work for me in England and crucially, return to Ghana after wards. She is NOT even allowed (by law) to carry out domestic work for anyone in the U.K./ work for anyone in the U.K. other than me. It is not about ownership, I am merely stating the terms of the visa which she was granted and which were set by UK immigration authorities.



Again, the issue isn't the nanny terminating the employment relationship. She is free to terminate our employment relationship at any point, however what she is NOT entitled to do is attempt to remain in the U.K. illegally using a visa which I procured for her as her employer and which stipulates that she MUST depart U.K. with me when I am leaving. What she did was utterly selfish and wicked. We did our best to make her life comfortable in Ghana and England, why repay kindness with wickenesss for selfish gain?

unknownsolja:


So you can imagine my shock when I woke up this morning ( a few days later) to discover that she had vanished! Taken all her things and disappeared! I was in a trance and couldn't believe my eyes. I called the police but they said it was an immigration matter and immigration home office is closed today.



I'm just so disappointed. Why do domestic staff behave like this? Thanks for reading.



i feel your pain but i dont like when people pretend..lets look at it this way..lets reverse the case and you are the maid and someone flew you down to the UK.what is the first thing that will come to your mind..number 1 even as a nigerian the first thing would be to run away.look we are living in a time where everyone is running away from africa so do not blame her much.its hurtful yes.but as long as you reported the case,just leave her be and let her find her way and she probably planned to give birth in the UK.next time always hold on to their passports and africans are always greedy..why cant you guys always get maids abroad..NO you want to fly in cheap african maids...i live abroad and we have lots of people looking for jobs and you guys would never want to employ one.well you learnt your lesson and as i said..dont feel too bad she saw an opportunity and she took it and i know you would do the same if you were the maid..i trust nigerians they will run and i know you can never fly in a nigerian maid without holding their passport.many people on here will agree with me that they will do the same.lets face reality and stop pretending

You're very wrong. Some Nigerians or Africans still have integrity. If someone went out of his way, treated me like a family member with respect and love, supported my family, and took risks for me such as taking me to a foreign country and covering all my costs, I would never repay the person with evil. Yes it is evil to exploit and use people as a means to an end. Especially people who have shown you nothing but kindness. Don't justify selfish and wicked conduct by blaming her choices on poverty.

Mille:
unknownsolja

What sort of useless thinking is that. Not every Nigerian has low self-esteem and lack of future hopes like you. I went to the UK for a summit myself, and left after just two days. I didn't abscond because I have no intention of being an illegal immigrant or relegate myself to doing menial jobs that I wouldn't do in Nigeria.

So speak for yourself and not every Nigerian.


Livie2016 , I understand your frustration about her absconding etc. and the legal immigration problems this might cause but I don't understand what you mean by being "exploited despite all the investments you made on her". It's not like she is a slave sworn to worship you and you family till the end.

She is an employee, giving you services (taking care of your baby, home etc) in exchange for pay. Same way people work for Nigerian Breweries and get paid monthly, with added benefits of health insurance etc. Consider it as she worked and she quit

I beg to wonder what her salary was despite the investments, now try hiring a live-in nanny in the UK (with sane employee protection laws), pay hourly like they do and see how much it will cost you.

Ps- it would have cost the same to hire a nanny here. Calculate all the costs involved in travelling and you'll see why.

Mille:
unknownsolja

What sort of useless thinking is that. Not every Nigerian has low self-esteem and lack of future hopes like you. I went to the UK for a summit myself, and left after just two days. I didn't abscond because I have no intention of being an illegal immigrant or relegate myself to doing menial jobs that I wouldn't do in Nigeria.

So speak for yourself and not every Nigerian.


Livie2016 , I understand your frustration about her absconding etc. and the legal immigration problems this might cause but I don't understand what you mean by being "exploited despite all the investments you made on her". It's not like she is a slave sworn to worship you and you family till the end.

She is an employee, giving you services (taking care of your baby, home etc) in exchange for pay. Same way people work for Nigerian Breweries and get paid monthly, with added benefits of health insurance etc. Consider it as she worked and she quit

I beg to wonder what her salary was despite the investments, now try hiring a live-in nanny in the UK (with sane employee protection laws), pay hourly like they do and see how much it will cost you.

Thanks for your comments. Investments in bringing her to the U.K. The only reason why she is in the U.K. is because I undertook responsibility for her and I brought her in. She is legally required to leave the country with me and the visa we obtained prohibits her from working with any other employer in England. Getting accomodation for her, buying her airline ticket, paying for the visa application fees, buying her suitable clothes to wear in England- those are all investments made towards her trip which fall outside the scope of regular salary payments. You're wrong to say that it's a simple matter of employee-employer relationship. If Nigerian Breweries pays for an employee to attend a course in England (hotelcost, visa fees, clothing and allowance) and the employee absconds and disappears in England, would you consider that to be a valid termination of the employment relationship?

pretty16:


Madam, you would be surprised at the lengths ppl can go in search of a "better life" abroad. The lady might not even be pregnant, maybe she was trying to see if she could get some pounds from you. You would be surprised that she would know someone in London there. Might not even be a family member., just friends. What she doesn't know is that being an illegal immigrant is going to be a difficult experience for her. She might just end up getting deported.

How can they be so naive though?

salsera:
The pregnancy may have been a rouse to get cash from you.

Is her passport with you? Plus return tickets?

Just report to immigration since you got her on nanny visa.
Her number can traced to find her location.
Typically when people do this they plan it even before they travel. There's always someone telling them they can earn good pounds working in the UK.
What they don't say is that they will pay rent, bills and work like slaves to the other people encouraging them to abscond cos they're illegal

Let immigration block her visa jor and next time put some insurance on such arrangements. You expended money for that visa and th and you're getting no value. Rubbish.


Please Domestic workers are first and foremost WORKERS. The more we understand that the better we relate with them.

Thanks so much. This makes me a little bit better. They've probably promised her a good life without telling her the practical aspects of it. Without legal papers, she won't get any benefits from the government and will be exploited by underground workers. We really did our best for her. She pretended to be a timid and quiet person. I'm so disappointed.

4dor:
Just report to Immigration. Simple as ABC

Yes I plan to do so tomrorow. Will report her to immigration tomorrow but I hope they take it seriously. Her phone is ringing imagine?

Skyfornia:
Madam three things are involved

1. The story behind the pregnancy get k-leg, are you sure oga is not involved especially since he treats the Nanny well?

2. If Oga is truly involved then I must say Oga knows her whereabout.

3. You need to take this matter serious and pray she is still alive.

I am 1000 per cent sure my husband is not involved. Moreover my husband is in Ghana and we are here. My husband is not involved I can assure you of that...

The funny thing is her phone is ringing. She blocked my number and numbers of a few others but when you call from an unfamiliar number, her phone rings.

Skyfornia:
Madam three things are involved

What are they please? Thanks

Shedrack777:
ok, on a more serious note, you need to post her pictures here for proper identification

Is this likely to help? If so, gladly post it.

LOSKYXANDER:
my best guess is that she doesn't want to return to Africa. why else would she pack all her things?

Yes I thought about this as well. But she has two children, an aged mother and a husband in Ghana. The first time she went on a plane was when we flew with her. She was unexposed. How can she abandon her family? Which makes me believe someone in her family must know where she is...

The pregnancy does not belong to my husband! Yes I know some Nigerian men do such horrible things but trust me, not my husband. If he was going to cheat, it would be with an outsider not a member of our household and as far as I know he is faithful.

She had been having issues with her own husband. A few days before we travelled, she told me that a neighbour in their house in Kumasi had spotted her husband with another woman in the nanny's marital home. Her husband was in bed with another woman. She wanted to go back to her house to confront her husband but we advised her against it. She said her husband had been cheating on her for years and she didn't want to have any more kids with him hence need to get a termination. Those were her claims.

Hello,

I'm in shock as I type this so thought to post this s I can get some solace. My husband and I hired a nanny when our child was 5 weeks old and she's been with us since then- he's now 17months old.

She was a good nanny and assisted me with taking care of him. In return, we really treated her very well and took her like a family member (which has turned out to be a mistake). We are Nigerians residing in Ghana- gave her a private room with private bathroom, gave her extra money when she requested, usually took her out with us to eat in restaurants, paid for her medical expenses, provided her with any and all types of food she's wanted, we had even pledged to start paying for her children's school fees (after she told us that her husband was neglecting them). Etc.

So a few months ago, I discovered that I'd need to travel to England for two months to help my sister with her newborn baby and didn't want to leave my son behind. So I applied for a nanny visa for our nanny which she granted. We arrived in the UK exactly two weeks ago and we have treated her very well here. We gave her a private room, provided her with any food she wanted, even took her shopping to buy some shoes and clothes which she could take back to Ghana. We had also planned to take her shopping to buy clothes for her children in Ghana. In addition to this she would also be getting her salary.

A few days ago, she told me that she had missed her period and wanted to take a pregnancy test. So I got a home pregnancy test- she tested positive for pregnancy. She told me that she wanted to have an abortion because she couldnt afford to have anymore children and her husband wasn't taking care of them etc. I told her to have a think about things and that we would discuss the next day. The next day she came to me and asked how much an abortion would cost etc because she wanted to have some small money sent to her etc but I told her that abortions done privately in England are far more expensive and cost about 600 pounds. That night, she didnt sleep and also didn't eat. She then confessed that she had fallen pregnant a few years ago as well and had terminated the pregnancy with some pills which she got from a herbal doctor in Ghana. She was clearly distressed by her current pregnancy and was eager to terminate it instantly but I told her that there were no herbal doctors here and that if she insists on getting a termination, she would wait until we return to Ghana where they have hospitals she can visit. My husband and I weren't prepared to spend 600 pounds on an abortion for her in England. And i personally didn't want to get involved in that- what if she suffered a complication? anyway we encouraged her to wait u until returning to Ghana.



So you can imagine my shock when I woke up this morning ( a few days later) to discover that she had vanished! Taken all her things and disappeared! I was in a trance and couldn't believe my eyes. I called the police but they said it was an immigration matter and immigration home office is closed today.

I am just so confused and sad. I feel so exploited! After all the investments we made in her and how generous we were? Treating her like a family member. She literally disappears? Why? I wish I had answers. Does she want to remain in England as an illegal immigrant or did she return to Ghana to have the abortion? Which raises the question of how she'd have gotten money to buy a return ticket? Did she get in touch with some Ghanaians in Ghana who linked her up with people who specialize in harbouring illegal immigrants? Cos she doesn't have any family in England! This is someone who had never gone beyond Nigeria!

I'm just so disappointed. Why do domestic staff behave like this? Thanks for reading.

Hello all,

Hoping I can please get some help here.

Have you or anyone you know of ever taken a nanny from Nigeria/Africa to the UK using a nanny visa, to help take care of your child during a trip to England for say a few weeks or few months?

If so, could you please share any tips or advice?

Very many thanks

Wow, sorry to hear. Hopefully we'll get some reviews soon.

Good afternoon.

I need to have some extensive dental work done on my teeth, can someone please recommend an affordable and competent dental clinic? I live on the Island and some of the clinics I've called are quoting crazy prices like 125k to have a dental crown fitted and 20k for a simple tooth filling. I know dental prices are typically quite high though.

Would appreciate some feedback re: suggestions and also any price indications if you have that information.

Many thanks

I'd like to say thank you all for your responses, especially to those who made the effort to provide thoughtful, measured and wise responses. Thank you very much. I'm deeply grateful.

By way of update, we went ahead with the private dedication ceremony. I wasn't happy about it but I did it to honor my husband who pleaded with me to go ahead with it. He's less sentimental than I am and he's been a member of the church for a long time so really wanted our child to be dedicated in that church as opposed to another church ( which was my suggestion). The private dedication ceremony was conducted successfully in a private room after the service with our close family members in attendance. Afterwards we all went out for lunch at a restaurant and retired home afterwards.


However, the episode has caused me to reflect deeply on a lot of things, most especially Christianity and how it's applied and interpreted in some Nigerian churches. As christians we are called to emulate Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ was kind and compasionate. He wasn't bigoted or dogmatic nor sanctimonious, formalistic, ritualistic, prideful, hypocritical or judgmental. But do you know who was? The Pharisees. They were more concerned with an outwardly, superficial appearance of purity than genuine, inwardly piety. Unsurprisingly, Christ disliked and condemned the Pharisees. The next time you want to burry a person with vilification, pause for a minute and ask yourself if you're behaving "Christ-like". Christ was simply an embodiment of love and I don't see a lot of love and compassion being exhibited by many christians in Nigeria.


Make no mistake about it, what I've written above is by no means an attempt to exculpate myself of any blame or responsibility for any sins I've committed, it is simply an effort to encourage us all to respond to situations with love and tact rather than condemnation and judgment. I'm married to the father of my child, but imagine what single mothers have to go through daily? It's enough to drive someone to suicide.

In light of the above, Ive made a decision to change churches. I hold no grudge against the church for forcing me to dedicate my son privately, but I'm unable to reconcile the rationale of the church for doing so, with the essence of Christianity. So I've decided to move on. May God help us all in our daily endevaours and guide us to make the right decisions amen.

TinaAnita:


Dedicating a product of fornication is one sure way to support and encourage fornication and before you know it other defaulters would expect the same nice treatment

So dedicating a product of fornication doesn't mean anything to you? my dear leave the issue of love. What is wrong is wrong and what has to be done has to be done. It is what it is. Love and forgiveness are not enough reason for one not to serve certain punishment so as to serve as a deterrent to others

When you start to use offensive language such as " product of fornication" your point is lost. You're referring to a human being you know? A baby who has brought and continues to bring so much joy and happiness to our family. Try to convey your views in a less inflammatory manner- doesn't undermine your point. Yes, my child was conceived before marriage but he is a product of LOVE, happily being raised by a loving and committed couple ( my husband and I). Please don't speak of him as if he were dirt or filth.

Mouthgag:

Shut up!
You're the bloody hypocrite.
According to the Bible, the child is a BASTARD!
THE CHURCH CAN'T CELEBRATE A BASTARD.

@ Mouthgag, my son is not a bastard, don't you ever refer to him as such. You weren't compelled to respond to my post, I posted this question to receive valuable and wise advice from people and not to be barraged by uncouth and crass remarks such as yours. My son is blessed and loved, he's happily being raised by me, his mother AND his father and we are married by the grace of God. Do not ever refer to my son as a bastard!

Hello,

Would really appreciate some words of advice please. I'm really sad. No judgmental posts posse.

I conceived my first child when I was dating my boyfriend, now husband and then we got married shortly after I fell pregnant. We had planned to get married even before I got pregnant but when I got pregnant, we then decided to bring the date forward. It was a very difficult period for me because my mum really made me feel bad. I repented to God from a heart of genuine sincerity and sought his forgiveness which I received by his grace. I fell short of the glory of God but God forgave me and had mercy on me.

Fast forward to a year plus after my wedding. My son is now 6 months and we would like to dedicate him in church. We have however been told that the church will not accept him for the regular dedication process where the parents dance out to the front of the church alongside close relatives and friends. What the church has said is that we can only do a private dedication service in a different room after the service. I'm devastated.


My son is innocent and pure. He was conceived from a sinful act but God has forgiven us. I've now been happily married to my husband and father of my child for more than a year. Is it therefore fair for the church to treat my son like he's an outcast and not worthy of being celebrated openly and publicly?


I feel so humiliated and wanted to cancel the dedication and do it in a church where h will be openly celebrated and received as a wonderful gift from God which my darling son is. My husband has accepted it but I'm struggling to do so. The church is supposed to be about love. What is the biblical basis for saying that my son cannot be pubclily dedicated?


Would really like some views here. Should I cancel the dedication and do it somewhere else or go ahead with the private/ secret dedication?

Many thanks for reading.

Hello all,

Would really appreciate your opinion on the above subject.

My husband and I plan to dedicate our baby in church very soon. The church offered the option of having a normal baby dedication ( where we all dance forward during the church service along with other parents who are dedicating their children) OR a private baby dedication where we have a private dedication ceremony after the church service in a private room. I prefer a general dedication service but my husband prefers a private dedication ceremony and I don't understand why. I'd love to openly celebrate my son, and I feel like this the private ceremony does the opposite. Almost feels like we are hiding him or not proud of him because I conceived him before I got married to my husband. I'm totally proud of him and looked forward to dancing out with him during the church service as opposed to having a private hidden ceremony after the service.


Do parents usually have private baby dedication ceremonies?

Many thanks for reading and hope to hear from you soon.