₦airaland Forum

Waooooooo this is wonderful. May God bless u and grant u all ur heart desire. Amen. This message can change and touch many lives positively. Think abt that. Keep it up. Am waiting for ur Rugged Men. Thanks for sharing.

Zikyke:
Abeg dice, u knw where i kip my gun# i wan shoot hannah# no waste time#

Na u b Ruth?

This write up is not in anyway an attempt to mock God or any ministry, but just to add laughter to our faces and praise the Almighty God, who so much loves us. Though we are many (different parts), we belongs to one body (God). Relax and enjoy.

1). HOLY SWAG MINISTRIES: These ministries believes that you must be filled with the Holy Ghost and have swag to prove that truly the lord is good. Their fashion sense does not have part two. They preach powerful messages, they change lives and raise pace-setters. Their young men are actually achieving greatness in life. I pray to God to increase their swag and strengthen their ministers in Jesus name, amen. Examples: Harvesters (Hicc), Christ Embassy, Daystar, Covenant Christians Centre etc.

2) BLOOD OF JESUS/HOLY GHOST MINISTRIES: These ministries does not play with the blood of Jesus and Holy Ghost fire. They must sprinkle the blood before sitting and standing. They greet their neighbours with the blood. They have finished the blood of Jesus, it is only remaining the blood of God. I pray their fire will not be quenched by any power of darkness in Jesus name, amen. Examples: MFM, CAC, LIBERATION CITY ETC.

3) NO SHOE MINISTRIES: Well, these ministries is very special because our dear President was once a member of these ministries before he was called to a higher ministry of designer shoes. I thank God we are not all in these ministries because it will have been a different story for those who finds themselves in the shoe making ministry like our brothers in Aba. Praise God. I pray their labour of faith will not be in vain in Jesus name, amen. Examples Cele, C&S, O.O.OBU.

4). HOLINESS/HOLY THAN THOU MINISTRIES: I pray the next technological invention will be holiness scanner, to help these ministries to identify those stubborn members who does not want to be holy despite the effort of the pastors. Their only agenda is to make everyone holy. In their posters, you will see something like; holiness heals Ebola. I pray their garment of holiness will not be stained before the coming of Christ in Jesus name. Amen. Examples: Deeper life, Redeemed, Lords Chosen etc.

5). THE YOUNG SHALL GROW MINISTRIES: These are the new ministries we normally finds in shops, backyards and under tent etc. We really needs to show love and support to these set of ministries though we might not worship with them. A times situation of things and frustration of life can make one to give up and refuse to answer his or her callings. I want to encourage them not to give up and keeps trusting in God, though sorrow may endure for the night joy will surely comes in the morning. The beginning might be tough but there is always light at the end of every tunnel in life. I pray the joy of the lord continued to be your strength in Jesus name, amen.
Examples: name them

6). SPIRITUAL DELIVERANCE MINISTRIES: these ground are holy war front that even the devil is aware. They don't joke with evil spirits. Any evil spirit that try it, has entered one chance. Their deliverance and boxing are almost the same. If you doubt me if them a try. To the glory of God people are sharing wonderful testimonies of what God has done for them through these ministries. I pray the anointing of God upon these ministries shall never runs dry in Jesus name, amen. Examples: Synagogue, Mercyland, Liberation City etc.

7). OLD TIMES RELIGION MINISTRIES: We bless God for these ministries who have sustained their doctrines since AD till date. They don't joke with their doctrines and are not threatened by what Pentecostal are doing. That's standard. I pray God help them to sustain these doctrines till the coming of the bride of the church in Jesus name, amen. Examples: Catholic, Anglican, Methodist, Lutheran etc.

cool. SEVENTH DAY MINISTRIES: These ministries don't have their services on Sunday. It is on Saturday that people normally relax they will be having their programs. I thank God for the great and mighty works they are doing. I pray God will grant all their heart desires in Jesus name, amen. Examples: Seventh day Adventists, Sabbath etc.

9). PROSPERITY MINISTRIES: These ministries believes that money is very essential if the gospel of Christ must get to the end of the earth. They teach kingdom prosperity principles which has been evidence in the lives of their followers who practice the principles. Though people keeps criticizing them, they keeps doing what God has called them to do without giving a damn about what people are saying. I pray their source will never runs dry in Jesus name, amen. Examples: Faith Tabernacle, Trem, Christ Embassy etc.

10). END TIME ARMIES MINISTRIES: truly, these people are the real end time armies because of the type of risks they normally take just to get the gospel across to every homes. Some of them have been embarrassed, harassed and assaulted but they refused to give up. They walks miles, visits anywhere they can fine human beings. They go to junctions and street corners just to share the knowledge of Gods word. They are not ashamed of the gospel. They denied themselves good things of life just to win souls for Christ. I pray God will continue to guide their footsteps and direct their path in Jesus name, amen. Examples: Jehovah Witnesses, Deeper Life, Assemblies of God. Add yours.

Written by:
LORDSON EVANS
lordsonevans86@gmail.com

This write up is not in anyway an attempt to mock God or any ministry, but just to add laughter to our faces and praise the Almighty God, who so much loves us. Though we are many (different parts), we belongs to one body (God). Relax and enjoy.

1). HOLY SWAG MINISTRIES: These ministries believes that you must be filled with the Holy Ghost and have swag to prove that truly the lord is good. Their fashion sense does not have part two. They preach powerful messages, they change lives and raise pace-setters. Their young men are actually achieving greatness in life. I pray to God to increase their swag and strengthen their ministers in Jesus name, amen. Examples: Harvesters (Hicc), Christ Embassy, Daystar, Covenant Christians Centre etc.

2) BLOOD OF JESUS/HOLY GHOST MINISTRIES: These ministries does not play with the blood of Jesus and Holy Ghost fire. They must sprinkle the blood before sitting and standing. They greet their neighbours with the blood. They have finished the blood of Jesus, it is only remaining the blood of God. I pray their fire will not be quenched by any power of darkness in Jesus name, amen. Examples: MFM, CAC, LIBERATION CITY ETC.

3) NO SHOE MINISTRIES: Well, these ministries is very special because our dear President was once a member of these ministries before he was called to a higher ministry of designer shoes. I thank God we are not all in these ministries because it will have been a different story for those who finds themselves in the shoe making ministry like our brothers in Aba. Praise God. I pray their labour of faith will not be in vain in Jesus name, amen. Examples Cele, C&S, O.O.OBU.

4). HOLINESS/HOLY THAN THOU MINISTRIES: I pray the next technological invention will be holiness scanner, to help these ministries to identify those stubborn members who does not want to be holy despite the effort of the pastors. Their only agenda is to make everyone holy. In their posters, you will see something like; holiness heals Ebola. I pray their garment of holiness will not be stained before the coming of Christ in Jesus name. Amen. Examples: Deeper life, Redeemed, Lords Chosen etc.

5). THE YOUNG SHALL GROW MINISTERIES: These are the new ministries we normally finds in shops, backyards and under tent etc. We really needs to show love and support to these set of ministries though we might not worship with them. A times situation of things and frustration of life can make one to give up and refuse to answer his or her callings. I want to encourage them not to give up and keeps trusting in God, though sorrow may endure for the night joy will surely comes in the morning. The beginning might be tough but there is always light at the end of every tunnel in life. I pray the joy of the lord continued to be your strength in Jesus name, amen.
Examples: name them

6). SPIRITUAL DELIVERANCE MINISTRIES: these ground are holy warfront that even the devil is aware. They don't joke with evil spirits. Any evil spirit that try it, has entered one chance. Their deliverance and boxing are almost the same. If you doubt me if them a try. To the glory of God people are sharing wonderful testimonies of what God has done for them through these ministries. I pray the anointing of God upon these ministries shall never runs dry in Jesus name, amen. Examples: Synagogue, Mercyland, Liberation City etc.

7). OLD TIMES RELIGION MINISTRIES: We bless God for these ministries who have sustained their doctrines since AD till date. They don't joke with their doctrines and are not threatened by what Pentecostal are doing. That's standard. I pray God help them to sustain these doctrines till the coming of the bride of the church in Jesus name, amen. Examples: Catholic, Anglican, Methodist, Lutheran etc.

. SEVENTH DAY MINISTRIES: These ministries don't have their services on Sunday. It is on Saturday that people normally relax they will be having their programs. I thank God for the great and mighty works they are doing. I pray God will grant all their heart desires in Jesus name, amen. Examples: Seventh day Adventists, Sabbath etc.

9). PROSPERITY MINISTRIES: These ministries believes that money is very essential if the gospel of Christ must get to the end of the earth. They teach kingdom prosperity principles which has been evidence in the lives of their followers who practice the principles. Though people keeps critising them, they keeps doing what God has called them to do without giving a damn about what people are saying. I pray their source will never runs dry in Jesus name, amen. Examples: Faith Tabernacle, Trem, Christ Embassy etc.

10). END TIME ARMIES MINISTRIES: truly, these people are the real end time armies because of the type of risks they normally take just to get the gospel across to every homes. Some of them have been embarrassed, harassed and assaulted but they refused to give up. They walks miles, visits anywhere they can fine human beings. They go to junctions and street corners just to share the knowledge of Gods word. They are not ashame of the gospel. They denied themselves good things of life just to win souls for Christ. I pray God will continue to guide their footsteps and direct their path in Jesus name, amen. Examples: Jehovah Witnesses, Deeper Life, Assemblies of God. Add yours.

Written by:
LORDSON EVANS
lordsonevans86@gmail.com

Dannylux: you're making this worse by this boldened statement above. Masturbation is very disadvantageous to human health (Recent research)

It can cause hormonal imbalance and you'd be overly addicted in a very unhealthy way. It's very addictive, very very addictive!

Sometimes you get aroused by just seeing a lady's cleavage in public.
it can make you to be unable to get stimulated by a girl's touch unless you're using your own hand.

Masturbation is devilish!

@OP
Merely telling you to quit watching porn won't help you because you'd still waank tonight!

My advice is that you see a therapist for rehab and put this in prayer.
T. B. Joshua is there for you too.

Good luck.

U are right. Is a spiritual attack. I av seen many people been delivered in synagogue. He need to visit there. Ur way out has come.

Gboliwe: Thank God for you. You have been blessed to be a blessing to others. Glory be to Jesus.

A group on Nairaland is organising a charity donation to various homes. Would you love to be a part of it so you can showcase God's blessing by making someone smile this season?

Thanks. I already av a foundation. We do a lot of charity stuff. We will be at old peoples home yaba on the 21 DEC. You can join us.

I will still be part of nairaland charity.

O give thanks unto the lord; for he is good: because his mercy endureth forever (psalm 118:1).


Has God been faithful to you this year? Has he done something great and miraculous for you this year? Has he turn your sorry to joy? Has he taken you from nowhere to somewhere? Has he healed you and made a way where there is seem to be no way? If he has done anything for you or your family member, pls don't hesitate to share them. Thanks


Let me start first, God has been so faithful to me this year. In fact, it has turn out to be the best year ever for me. God has bless me with two plots of land. Good health throughout the year. Business expansion and increase on every side. No death recorded in my family.

I give God all the glory, power and adoration. I thank him for everything. Thank you Jesus.


Pls drop yours.....

First of all I want to let everyone know that I am not a prophet neither a pastor. But God can reveal secret things through anybody or any mean so that people can pray about it, cos when there is revelation it means victory has come. What I will say hear will be said by some pastors and prophets in few days time. God has reveal it to many of them. Please I warn you, if you don't love this country or you dont like peace don't come and derail this thread or abuse any religion. Every body have right to believe whatsoever the want to believe. Thanks.


Firstly, boko haram has gone beyond what we thought they were initially, they are now the enemies of Nigeria. They are ready to lay down their lives just to make sure there is no peace in this country. They are a force against the peace of this nation. I know you will be surprised to know that boko haram are not just made of Hausa only, there are igbos, yorubas etc. They are all well trained and are heavily supported and sponsored by our rich brothers. The young men are been deceive and brain wash to waste their lives away. They are ready to die just to achieve their aim. But God forbid because if they succeed we are finished.

If you think they are fighting religious fight, you are been decived because they have even killed more Muslims than Christians. No need to start arguing about that because an injury to one is injury to all. God does not give anybody or group of people be it Mend, Bakasi etc any right to take any life.

Their plans now is to invade other part of the country in the new year. But thank God we have a God who neither sleeps nor slumber. By His infinite mercy they will not succeed.

They are ready strategising for 2015, it will be bloody. As it is now we only have one way of escape which is prayer because the govt cant help us. The govt can only try but they cant overcome them. They are part of the govt.

Jehovah is a strong tower that can save our nation Nigeria. We do not have any other except this. We need to cry to our father to have mercy upon our land. His word says, if the people who are called by my name shall humble themselves and pray I will hear from heaven and heal their land. He is just and faithful. I want all of us to rise up to this challenge and intercede for our nation. Pray for our youth that the evil one will not use them to destroy us. The labour of out heros past shall never be in vain. I declare judgement against those sponsoring them. The sand of this land shall from today start to fight them. They will never experience peace until they stop their evil plan again this naition. I pray for the peace of God in the north, south, east and west. God shall give to us leaders who will lead us in righteousness and fear of God. We can only move forward not backward. We shall all be proud of this great nation in Jesus name. Amen.


If you believe in God and you that with all things are possible, don't hesitated to your own orayer. Together we shall rescue this nation.
Thanks.

First of all I want to let everyone know that I am not a prophet neither a pastor. But God can reveal secret things through anybody or any mean so that people can pray about it, cos when there is revelation it means victory has come. What I will say hear will be said by some pastors and prophets in few days time. God has reveal it to many of them. Please I warn you, if you don't love this country or you dont like peace don't come and derail this thread or abuse any religion. Every body have right to believe whatsoever the want to believe. Thanks.


Firstly, boko haram has gone beyond what we thought they were initially, they are now the enemies of Nigeria. They are ready to lay down their lives just to make sure there is no peace in this country. They are a force against the peace of this nation. I know you will be surprised to know that boko haram are not just made of Hausa only, there are igbos, yorubas etc. They are all well trained and are heavily supported and sponsored by our rich brothers. The young men are been deceive and brain wash to waste their lives away. They are ready to die just to achieve their aim. But God forbid because if they succeed we are finished.

If you think they are fighting religious fight, you are been decived because they have even killed more Muslims than Christians. No need to start arguing about that because an injury to one is injury to all. God does not give anybody or group of people be it Mend, Bakasi etc any right to take any life.

Their plans now is to invade other part of the country in the new year. But thank God we have a God who neither sleeps nor slumber. By His infinite mercy they will not succeed.

They are ready strategising for 2015, it will be bloody. As it is now we only have one way of escape which is prayer because the govt cant help us. The govt can only try but they cant overcome them. They are part of the govt.

Jehovah is a strong tower that can save our nation Nigeria. We do not have any other except this. We need to cry to our father to have mercy upon our land. His word says, if the people who are called by my name shall humble themselves and pray I will hear from heaven and heal their land. He is just and faithful. I want all of us to rise up to this challenge and intercede for our nation. Pray for our youth that the evil one will not use them to destroy us. The labour of out heros past shall never be in vain. I declare judgement against those sponsoring them. The sand of this land shall from today start to fight them. They will never experience peace until they stop their evil plan again this naition. I pray for the peace of God in the north, south, east and west. God shall give to us leaders who will lead us in righteousness and fear of God. We can only move forward not backward. We shall all be proud of this great nation in Jesus name. Amen.


If you believe in God and you that with all things are possible, don't hesitated to your own orayer. Together we shall rescue this nation.
Thanks.

[quote author=redsquare]You are an imbecil.e. Mandela is an African hero and deserve whatever respect accorded to him.3 days mourning does not men 3 days public holidays. It means flags all over the country would be flown at half-mast. What problem do you have with that? Is Nigeria the only country mourning Mandela's demise? What do you guys enjoy by jumping at every slightest opportunity to insult the president? It is not compulsory to comment on NL.[/quote

Don't mind he or she is now that I know that common sense is not common.

[quote author=Ken_Jak]Though the catholics are not worshipping God, they're worshipping Mary... It's not for him or anyone to judge except God cos God says in the bible, Judge not for you not to be judged.
He's wrong with his preaching.[/quote]AM NOT A CATHOLIC, BUT HOW I WISH WE KNOW THE MYSTERY BEHIND WHAT CATHOLIC ARE DOING. SURPRISES AWAITS MANY ON THE LAST DAY.

Jade William: U'r welcome.I hope u'l b a gentleman;not lik al these human beings dat derive gratification attackin ppl&derailin threads by turnin it in2 a war zone.

Bros tell us how u get to know abt naira land and ur experience. Thanks

Pls I will like us to share how we get to know about nairaland, how long did it take us before becoming a member and our experinces so far.


Let me start first, I got to know about nairaland through a friend and all of sudden I became a spy (guest), and it took me more two years before I joined the forum. My experience have been fantastic because my first post as a member make the front page.

Well this was my first post in nairaland and am really surprise by the way some people reason. This was just what I believe as a person and was not mean to insult or abuse any religion. We have right to believe whatever we choose to believe and practice, afterall it is only God that know those that serve him in truth and the spirit. God is love and he can have mercy on any soul he chooses to have mercy on. I believe we can contribute and put down what we know concerning this topic without insult or abusing each other. May the blessing of the Almighty God be with all of us now and forever more. Amen2

Na true talk

Before as a christian, I thought that heaven was made for Christians alone. But since the day I had a discussion with a Muslim friend and he explained to me that every true Muslim who practice Islam and read Quran must believe in Jesus christ. He then talk about the five pillars of islam which made it mandatory for them to believed in him. In my own opinion, Jesus Christ only said, I am the way, the truth and life, no one come to the father except through me. That mean it does not matter where you worship as far as you believed in him you are saved. Truly most Muslim believe in him and pray to him.

Demdem: Foolish Govt.

Its obvious they arent interested in fulfilling any agreement. Either the one signed in 2009 or the MOU signed in 2012 or even the promises of

Jonathan after several hours of meeting with them of recent. If Jonathan is serious, why cant he sign and make his commitments on paper for all

to see and monitor. All hail ASUU, they have mastered the way of holding the govt by its balls. It will be extremely foolish for them to go back to

classes knowing fully well that Jonathan wont do as promised. Their strike and death of Iyayi would have been in vain. I expect the strike to

continue. ASUU never shut down any school, Those that shut down the schools are opening it back, so no qualms.

If this is how u reason in real life then I pity ur generation. U don't even think of d students.

Guy u try. No easy. Lol

RedBenson: My sis. abadie? Eyen Ibiono Ibom ado ami o.

Bros nkpo abadie.

Am from Mbiaobong etoi in uyo LGA of Akwa Ibom State. Akwa Ibom ado ok

Symphony007: No doubt about it, goodswill akpabio is the most stupid man in nigeria. I don't know why he loves jonathan so much, is he gay? He underestimates the name lapdog.

Na u b him gay partner. He is wiser than u a million time.

agbameta: Listen to this Aso Rock bingo. Na ya papa get PDP? What a clown..

So u mean he does not av right to express his view abi. U need help.

jeron1: fool...akpabio can never be wise. he has sold his birthright

.

U are very sick. Thank God is not ur birthright. U beta wakeup before is too late.

dayo999: man utd fans be like-who have we offended this season

Who b their mate. Lol

The grace is sufficient for him. That's good for him.

Hmmmm. Do u have an a boy friend.