₦airaland Forum

Hello Vicjustice,

Can you help with advising on if a non-family member (friend of the family) can sponsor a member of my family who wants to come and visit me in the uk on genuine reasons. we have all other supporting documents. but the only dependable sponsor is a non-family member.

thanks

For the example of owning a house and doing whatever you like with it is absolutely rubbish. I mean yes, that definitely happens...but only in Nigeria!!!!!! Do the tenants stay for free? Don't Nigerians pay some amount of tax maybe? Don't they make up the country??

That is why there are binding contracts that each party has to abide by. The owner does not have any right (except something is posing a threat or inconvenience to the tenant) to make out -of-the-blues-changes...without consulting the tenant...not just consulting...but without consulting the tenant way before the planned date, else he would be looking at a law-suit amounting from ownership abuse. And the ruling will mostly swing in favor of the abused.

Everybody is looking so fast away from the fact that people are not saying it is a bad idea to immortalize MKO, but there are other ways that could have been done.

First of all, why should the man (i will forgive him because I know part of his little brain leaks out every morning) think he can just impose his ideas on a nation, without even remotely consulting with the concerned parties?

Secondly, who gave him the right really to just rename a brand that is internationally recognized? Seeing that I am Nigerian, the first question they ask me here in the UK or anywhere outside is 'did you attend UNILAG'?

Thirdly, if this regime is by the slightest chance democratic, then shouldn't it be for the people? Even if he had come up with the idea, consult with the senate, the school officials and make a survey among the people!!!! and see what the majority think..

Lastly, whatever happened to declaring June 12 as a national holiday? Would that not have more standing? If the name (MAUGEJ)stayed on, will people be concerned to know about it in the next generation? But a national holiday apart from Christmas, new year, Easter, may day and Independence day would sustain future generations' interest to want to know what significance the day held.. MKO day. Or like some one mentioned, the Abuja stadium or one of the upcoming universities..

I think it was out rightly rude (this would only happen in Nigeria as I mentioned earlier - let them try it elsewhere.. in these times of recession..) The People should always be consulted no matter what.. But we have a dictator..

I am also sure that just like the fuel subsidy event, the boko haram saga, this is also one of the quick tactics and distractions jonah and his goons are using...to get people to focus on while they clear off what's remaining of Nigeria's wealth. They are busy stealing while people are arguing about this.

Wake up people.. You don't have to have attended Unilag to know that this is point-blank wrong.

why can't that man and his silly ways of doing things just evaporate off the earth?? since he can not stop being a nuisance..

@Dyt you managed to come back! I am not married to him yet but intend to later in the year. i mentioned that i loved him, hence that thread to start with. Wouldn't have bothered if I didn't.

@fresh dude, still here! was hoping this thread had died a natural death.

@fork addict, you can say that again.

hahaha

@Lax75, i will name the heads soon

@pendo89, I know, right!? An 11-headed monstrous snake,  jeez!

Cuddlemii:
@op

I hate it when women tie their advancement or achievements to men. What is wrong with the term, "Yes I can"? Must your man be your soul provider? What is wrong with your own independence? Fine I am not supporting a man to be stingy but sometimes men only help women who can handle their own or who are independent & hardworking. I think your man is holding to his money because he sweat for it and he probably knows you won't do proper justice to that money. It’s even wrong to collect petty money from men, so that when you need help with better things they have no excuse.

Secondly, when you knew you needed a CBN guy, why didn't you date a cheerful giver? Or the fowlers, Sanusis or Ibrus. That's the problem with incompatibility, people date out of desperation or a bid to feel among or belong. When you knew what you wanted, you should have gone for that rather than complain later. Ladies would never tell you when the going is good, it’s when things are cut short that they start complaining to the world. Is it by force to be in a relationship? Is it by force to worry yourself about a man. Don't you have your Self development to work on?

Thirdly, how long do you want to depend on a man for money? God forbid if he is no more what happens? You would go to his grave and rip him off his jewelry & even sell his coffin if the need arises. Women need to find a way to make their money. If you get extra from men then it’s your luck or a bonus from God. And if you are lucky to marry a money bag, fine but remember all hands are not equal & everyone's destiny is different. It’s possible your own head is to attract stingy men, you should Thank God in all situation. Some babes attract men that they feed on them & their household, pay their bills & still lay their back down for 4 rounds daily.

I will let you on a little secret; men don't spend on cheap babes. You have to be independent & self sufficient to even attract a generous guy. The poor babes that get lucky and get a rich guy, it’s as a result of their hustle & hard work like selling pepper, sell food stuffs in the market for their parent, they weave hair by the road side, make nails etc & they compliment it with a homely & domesticated character. The rich men are impressed with their hard work & struggle as it shows they would be good managers of funds & a home well. Even prostitution as bad as it sounds is a job and they are better than an educated babe waiting for her guy to spend on her. If he is not spending, kick him to the curb and spend your money, period.

Some babes go to juju men to be able to secure a man with lots of money. Fools, why can't you ask the juju man to get you a business of your own & make you rich? Everything must be man related with ladies. I blame it on the naija society that taught dependence & not independence. This is even evident in all other genres of the society ills like Mentorship & Protégé (Godfatherism in politics), Oppression & Gender Discrimination/Limitation, Cultism, Peer Pressure, Aristocratism (Exchange for Exchange theory), Fraud, Human Trafficking & Disparity between the Bourgeoisie & Proletariat, False prophets exploiting the masses because people think their miracle lies with a man that climbs the altar & doesn’t give alms to the poor or give back to the public or even sick people. Instead of people having a relationship directly with God free of charge, it’s even better to depend on God and give to the starving populace.  

After singing that I don't live on the man, or think he is a money bag. Most people are just overlooking that part and another which says I have a job but just needed help this time. Never asked him prior now and don't even plan to in the future cuz I strive to be independent and not be a burden in anyway.

I am sounding like a broken record,  

my goodness!!! i can't keep up with this thread!!! it is becoming exhausting

Cuddlemii:
@op

I hate it when women tie their advancement or achievements to men. What is wrong with the term, "Yes I can"? Must your man be your soul provider? What is wrong with your own independence? Fine I am not supporting a man to be stingy but sometimes men only help women who can handle their own or who are independent & hardworking. I think your man is holding to his money because he sweat for it and he probably knows you won't do proper justice to that money. It’s even wrong to collect petty money from men, so that when you need help with better things they have no excuse.

Secondly, when you knew you needed a CBN guy, why didn't you date a cheerful giver? Or the fowlers, Sanusis or Ibrus. That's the problem with incompatibility, people date out of desperation or a bid to feel among or belong. When you knew what you wanted, you should have gone for that rather than complain later. Ladies would never tell you when the going is good, it’s when things are cut short that they start complaining to the world. Is it by force to be in a relationship? Is it by force to worry yourself about a man. Don't you have your Self development to work on?

Thirdly, how long do you want to depend on a man for money? God forbid if he is no more what happens? You would go to his grave and rip him off his jewelry & even sell his coffin if the need arises. Women need to find a way to make their money. If you get extra from men then it’s your luck or a bonus from God. And if you are lucky to marry a money bag, fine but remember all hands are not equal & everyone's destiny is different. It’s possible your own head is to attract stingy men, you should Thank God in all situation. Some babes attract men that they feed on them & their household, pay their bills & still lay their back down for 4 rounds daily.

I will let you on a little secret; men don't spend on cheap babes. You have to be independent & self sufficient to even attract a generous guy. The poor babes that get lucky and get a rich guy, it’s as a result of their hustle & hard work like selling pepper, sell food stuffs in the market for their parent, they weave hair by the road side, make nails etc & they compliment it with a homely & domesticated character. The rich men are impressed with their hard work & struggle as it shows they would be good managers of funds & a home well. Even prostitution as bad as it sounds is a job and they are better than an educated babe waiting for her guy to spend on her. If he is not spending, kick him to the curb and spend your money, period.

Some babes go to juju men to be able to secure a man with lots of money. Fools, why can't you ask the juju man to get you a business of your own & make you rich? Everything must be man related with ladies. I blame it on the naija society that taught dependence & not independence. This is even evident in all other genres of the society ills like Mentorship & Protégé (Godfatherism in politics), Oppression & Gender Discrimination/Limitation, Cultism, Peer Pressure, Aristocratism (Exchange for Exchange theory), Fraud, Human Trafficking & Disparity between the Bourgeoisie & Proletariat, False prophets exploiting the masses because people think their miracle lies with a man that climbs the altar & doesn’t give alms to the poor or give back to the public or even sick people. Instead of people having a relationship directly with God free of charge, it’s even better to depend on God and give to the starving populace.  

Maybe read through the thread properly before coming from nowhere and basing your perception from maybe just the previous post before yours.

andromida:
Can we then infer from this that a girlfriend can become an ashawo if she begins to have expectations of a wife from her man even if they already act as if they are married seeing as the girl may be cooking, cleaning and performing other general household services as well as intimate services reserved for wives and ashewos for the man.[color=#990000][/color]

  Nicely put!!

^^^^

debosky:
Stop beating around the bush you ATM gyal

Just kidding.

Where are you based and where are you from so we can determine if you are a member of the 'toto development levy collectors'  (TDLC) Nigeria headquarters or overseas branch.

Ok, I am not a member of the TDLC in any branch, nor am I an ATM gyal (even though you were just kidding  ). My nationality and location do not matter. I am just a girl who's just concerned about her man.

I was glad when this thread went down in line, Now Debosky has gone and resurrected it,

You crack me up saying the wrong things

@Shy-One,

I am sorry to hear about your husband whom you lost. It is well with you as you take another shot @love,

@Tosinville,

Did you miss the part where I said I have a job but 1 which doesn't pay so well and until I get a better one, I'd have to make do? I am not the least bit lazy

Tosinville:
OP, i don't blame u cos poverty rate in Nigeria is really alarming.

But your type that depend on boyfriend date sugardaddies instead, to meet their needs.

Relationship suppose to be 50/50 just like my girl do buy me gifts sometimes while she's working & schooling at the same time. Infact she spend in this relationship more than the way i do, not that am broke or stingy but she's trying to an independent girl.

If i put a lady like this as an housewife, it guaranteed she can't dump me if i've a financial problem or lose my job in my marriage cos its wat she's trained herself with not to depend on men. She's more than a wifey type.

@Dyt, you're a comedy, you said if your man can't provide for your need why would he ask for sex or something? wtf!! are u trading urself b4? why don't u get in touch with nearby brothel manager to apply u as one of their worker? besides are men only one enjoying d sex? why u ppl believe sex is only men thing?

OP, stop being a lazy bone and get yourself a job, its normal thing for your partner to support u whenever u are down, but don't expect him to take your dad full responsibilities when u guys aint married yet.

Don't tell him to use his initiative cos that sounds more like a pretender, ask him for help in some aspects but don't put heavy burden on him just because he want u as his girlfriend.

A girl calling guy a stingy man shows she's golddigger herself. Moreover, there are guys that test girls dat lemme just try maybe dis one worth being a wife, let me see maybe she'll try and get back up in a situation without dumping me for another guy before he'll start spending his money and u might lose him in the next min with the way u call him stingy man on here.

What makes you think I am Nigerian or in Nigeria?

AND I SAY OVER AGAIN THAT I DO NOT EXPECT HIM TO TAKE ON MY RESPONSIBILITIES. Yes, he is not my dad but is a friend who can help when I am down like you said. I hadn't need for his help until now and if he had helped, wouldn't have been a start of him paying my bills - I would not allow it.

@MJB,

I know!! that you still have to time to dig then scramble as it suits you is what I mean,  Nobody who has been posting here is an ashewo, I tell you,  It has just been a vicious cycle of the men wanting to see their own truth as is convenient for them and not what it is.

Noone mentioned bills, solid obligations to assist by fire or by force and so on,  Most of the guys haven't actually read the posts properly,  and some few who have, manipulated the thread, and then the few civil ones (not necessarily agreed with the poster) spoke their minds peacefully,

MJB,

Did you actually sit and do all that? cut and paste? You are extremely bitter at the universe of women,

Excellent Talina,  A give and take scenario usually plays itself out eventually,  And I especially like the part where you explained that he felt your stress,

talina:
I hear ya. I was dating a man a while back. We both chipped in and did a nice give and take on whatever we did,AND nobody was keeping score. About 8 months into the relationship a string of events happened in my life that caused my finances too much stress and I couldnt make my rent. I did not let on to him how stressed I was but since we talked every day and were close he knew I was covering up. He kept offering to help and I just said Id be fine. Finally one day ,he sat me down at the table and insisted that he was going to help and for me to tell him how much I was short of for rent. Then he went strait to his bank and got me the money. I found it very embarressing but I accepted. He said dont worry about paying it back. But 3 months later I paid him back and with lots on interest! And since he was back at university money was now tight for him, so it was nice to give it back when he needed it.Anyways, I think this is the kind of the scenerio you are referring to. Maybe? I did not expect him to do this and it brought tears to my eyes.

I would offer and insist to help my man when I feel he needs and am well able to,   That feeling is fulfilling as a human being,  being sensitive to one another

^^^^ its 'these' girls, not 'this' girls, why bothering to blow grammer when you can not accurately construct a short/long sentence??

Being one of those who did not properly ready any of my posts, I say again THAT I DO NOT HAVE THE HABIT OF ASKING!!! I felt he 'could' have, not 'should have' helped be cause he is capable and would have noticed that this was troubling me as a friend and more, as some who loves me and helped out. Most guys have just turned it upside down to suit their superstories,

I didn't ask the man to pay my bills

We are almost there! 20 19 pages  of noone listening to one another 

^^^^^asariliba0, can you stop insulting people here? if you patronize ashewos day in day out, it shouldn't be cast at us because we are trying to make a point here. Why are you so bitter? those girls really hurt you so bad  

other people have made points without insulting except this is how you talk to your sister(s) and think its the normal way  

Ok, this thread is turning into a raging monster out of control,  16 pages?!      I knew it would generate controversy and the guys would flay all three hands in the air but I did not anticipate this!  

    only you??  you must look 85 35 now,

You just jumped to the conclusion that I am in the UK because I said £500?   

And would you stop ranting, asariliba0,

because that is what they want to let you know, except the exceptionally rich people.

And I asked him.

Noone is suggestion that it is a measure of love. But sometimes, a friend or someone who's truly your friend notices when you are weighed down and offers to help take off some of the weight. I do it for my friends and even my bf, I am not saying that they must but it shows they care about your welfare even if it is just to talk things through instead of having selective hearing and noticing,

Most of us strive to be independent of any man but would worry when our BFS that we care about and plan to settle down with show signs of being stingy even though he gives nothing.

As some1 earlier said, for every independent woman you see today, she at one point or another needed help from her bf (like it or not) even though she was also working and maybe studying too.

It is not every girl who asks for financial aid all the time. It would not occur to a girl like me

^^^^did you see the part where I mentioned I have thought about marrying the said man, ? If I didn't care about him, this wouldn't have even occured to me and I would have walked but I do.

Meaning I'm from which ethnic group?     Mars??

You can 'maybe' generalise that when it is a frequent occurence. I didn't intend to need the help when I did, and now that I got it, I don't intend to ask in the future if I can help it as I'm working towards getting a better job,  I afterall never felt the need to ask the past 1 year,  So for all you haterz screaming ashewo and so on at quick ease,  scream on but it doesn't make me one.

@r231,

its not about showing any color. they have been screaming ashewo without even reading the posts properly,  apart from a few who though, didn't agree with the post but were civil about it,  and a few like you urged to ask which I did,

all these VULTURES waiting to devour,  Have mouth here and go and be your gf's atm machine as is usual for you. Poor stingy unfortunate souls.

Taking your anger from your gfs using/scamming you on a genuine person who does not use her bf as an atm.

I didn't say for him to give me £500,  a fraction would have been an effort,  That amount includes the bills,  Before some male mouths run, This guy is not a student and fully capable of helping,  But fortunately for me, a  good friend of mine has bailed me out and I am grateful,  Without asking, he sensed I was troubled and insisted that he help me.

As for my boyfriend, we are going to talk through down tonight. I don't expect him to pay my rent or bills or anything but if anything is wrong with him today, I would sense it and offer to help in any possible way I can. He might have been scammed in the past but he knows I am different and that is why he is still with me. Not that he is obliged to, but if he at least can't offer some kind of help/support when I desperately need it, then he doesn't care about me as a friend or as a girlfirend 

like £500. even a fraction no show face

This is still on!!?? I HAVE CREATED A MONSTER!!    

***YAWN***REBOOTING BRAIN FOR THIS THREAD, YET AGAIN***