Who woke MBJ up?    (

Dare I say MBJ, that I gather/ think that you are a generous man when you are in a mutually respecting relationship. Youre comments could be misinterpreted to seem that you are not. But its really about how you feel if a woman demands it of you,as if youre a money machine.

OP, i don't blame u cos poverty rate in Nigeria is really alarming.

But ur type that depend on boyfriend date sugardaddies instead, to meet their needs.

Relationship suppose to be 50/50 just like my girl do buy me gifts sometimes while she's working & schooling at the same time. Infact she spend in this relationship more than the way i do, not that am broke or stingy but she's trying to an independent girl.

If i put a lady like this as an housewife, it guaranteed she can't dump me if i've a financial problem or lose my job in my marriage cos its wat she's trained herself with not to depend on men. She's more than a wifey type.

@Dyt, you're a comedy, you said if ur man can't provide for ur need why would he ask for sex or something? wtf!! are u trading urself b4? why don't u get in touch with nearby brothel manager to apply u as one of their worker? besides are men only one enjoying d sex? why u ppl believe sex is only men thing?

OP, stop being a lazy bone and get yourself a job, its normal thing for ur partner to support u whenever u are down, but don't expect him to take ur dad full responsibilities when u guys aint married yet.

Don't tell him to use his initiative cos that sounds more like a pretender, ask him for help in some aspects but don't put heavy burden on him just because he want u as his girlfriend.

A girl calling guy a stingy man shows she's golddigger herself. Moreover, there are guys that test girls dat lemme just try maybe dis one worth being a wife, let me see maybe she'll try and get back up in a situation without dumping me for another guy before he'll start spending his money and u might lose him in the next min with the way u call him stingy man on here.

@ MBJ





Shy-One gently humming a lullabye to MBJ, rocking him gently, slowly stroking his GREAT BIG BALD HEAD, methodically rubbing his back firmly but gently  - Shy is still humming "hush little baby don't say a word, papa's gonna buy you a mocking bird and if that mocking bird don't sing, papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring"


Shy-One whispers in his ear - "go to sleep" - "get some rest"

Everything is OK - You can lose sometimes - you don't have to always win.  It's ok - we won't think any less of you.

Shy steps out of the room tiptoeing to the kitchen to check and see if his milk has finished warming.

Madam, i'm not MJB or mary j blige, hope you didn't borrow the type of stevie wonder glasses to read this thread lately.

lolololol

ahahahahaha

I'm sorry - you guys post so fast - I was the only poster while I was typing and then when I hit submit I had Mrs. Chima, Talina and You (Tosin) had beat me to the draw.
Sorry my friend.

I know Tosin - you have too much class to be MBJ - He is a SORE LOSER - WE HAVE been trying all night to talk him down and get him off the roof - he is hysterical and won't let it go - we've been trying to calm him down and talk him down.  He is still perched on the top of the building.  "Hey MBJ - jump we'll catch you the safety net is waiting on you down here."  Don't look down - Just close your eyes and jump - it's OK.  Come on down here with the rest of us.  "A crowd of people on the ground expectantly, patiently waiting and looking up."

Its all good, shy-one.

@ Contributors/ Posters/ "Argumentators" -- Pls, learn to consider your audience while posting on threads. Remember you're not typing out your words for your eyes only. It's a public forum. Some people are actually reading, or rather, want to read what you're typing.

Therefore, endeavor to make your essays/speeches as succinct as possible.

Thanks. 

^lmao, u still interested in this thread? Gave up two days ago, cudnt even meet up anymore,lol.

^^ I was never interested fam. I just came on the thread to see what the 20+ pages fuss is all about; only to see "unreadable" posts.

^^ok, I was following it up initially cos the arguement was quite interesting but I got bored along d line, too many essays, I wonder where the posters get the 'energy' from considering the fact that its just an online issue.

@ Shy One

I always address root causes, so I can't respond to each and every comment. I will make a few points:

1. I have always been in support of mutual assistance - I have said so numerous times.

2. If MBJ was talking about kobo and paying, he was talking about money. If you equate money with raising kids and sex(like you did), you are degrading everything it means to be a woman.

You can't come here and claim your words were twisted - you have implicitly said that since a man cannot breastfeed, the way to make things 'equal' is through money.

If you come out and say that statement you made was wrong, then that is another matter.

If MBJ was talking in purely monetary terms, why on earth will childbearing be brought in?? Or sex? Is sex now currency? Does breastfeeding have a $ value??

One more thing - no woman has ever used me as an atm. I hold absolutely no bitterness on this matter.

My views are based on principle - no man/woman should ever mix up money with parental DUTIES or sexual relationship.

Don't talk about PAYING (as MBJ did) and include sex or childbearing - those are not PAYMENTS.

I don't see women as 'ashawo' - only those who want to receive payment for sexual services fall into that category.

all this i don't do broke and stingy only reveals what you won't admit to yourself. you are materialistic,mercenary and and self-centred. please save us the biographical twaddle.
people make money they get broke poo happens that is life sometimes they bounce back(ask donald trump) most times they don't ask gary coleman.

one thing is clear for you in life the most important thing is money.

i will continue to maintain that it is not a man's responsibilty to carry a woman that is not his wife. a mistress is different that is business.
i am thinking here of young men in their 20s and 30s. if you have some spare cash save it buy shares ,land or other properties that will gain in value and buffer you in hard times.
do not waste your money on friends,family or b!tches.look after your parents that all

the others they will never be satisfied and when the going gets tough they will curse you.
i know a guy in naija who supported a girl in the UK during her masters programme and they are now hapily married. was he generous??NOT really. he was investing. sometimes investments work out sometimes they don't. if a guy chooses not to invest that is his right and does not deserve abuse
people will try to trip you up with guilt about being selfish,stingy etc. bone.
look out for yourself. any one who wants luxuries should pay for them
all these silly cows here bandying the word; stingy, about. what is the biggest amount of money you ever  spent on anyone before.

Fork it men!

Omo na wa for this thread o.

Reading thru all the posts i missed is now making my head ache big time.

This thread deserves to go down the Nollywood nairaland Hall of fame as the most rapidly evolving thread of all time. Stay out of thread for only a few hours and you will have a whole lot of catching up to do.

@Shy-One,

I am sorry to hear about your husband whom you lost. It is well with you as you take another shot @love,

@Tosinville,

Did you miss the part where I said I have a job but 1 which doesn't pay so well and until I get a better one, I'd have to make do? I am not the least bit lazy

Tosinville:

OP, i don't blame u cos poverty rate in Nigeria is really alarming.

But your type that depend on boyfriend date sugardaddies instead, to meet their needs.

Relationship suppose to be 50/50 just like my girl do buy me gifts sometimes while she's working & schooling at the same time. Infact she spend in this relationship more than the way i do, not that am broke or stingy but she's trying to an independent girl.

If i put a lady like this as an housewife, it guaranteed she can't dump me if i've a financial problem or lose my job in my marriage cos its wat she's trained herself with not to depend on men. She's more than a wifey type.

@Dyt, you're a comedy, you said if your man can't provide for your need why would he ask for sex or something? wtf!! are u trading urself b4? why don't u get in touch with nearby brothel manager to apply u as one of their worker? besides are men only one enjoying d sex? why u ppl believe sex is only men thing?

OP, stop being a lazy bone and get yourself a job, its normal thing for your partner to support u whenever u are down, but don't expect him to take your dad full responsibilities when u guys aint married yet.

Don't tell him to use his initiative cos that sounds more like a pretender, ask him for help in some aspects but don't put heavy burden on him just because he want u as his girlfriend.

A girl calling guy a stingy man shows she's golddigger herself. Moreover, there are guys that test girls dat lemme just try maybe dis one worth being a wife, let me see maybe she'll try and get back up in a situation without dumping me for another guy before he'll start spending his money and u might lose him in the next min with the way u call him stingy man on here.

What makes you think I am Nigerian or in Nigeria?

AND I SAY OVER AGAIN THAT I DO NOT EXPECT HIM TO TAKE ON MY RESPONSIBILITIES. Yes, he is not my dad but is a friend who can help when I am down like you said. I hadn't need for his help until now and if he had helped, wouldn't have been a start of him paying my bills - I would not allow it.

lovedgal:

What makes you think I am Nigerian or in Nigeria?

AND I SAY OVER AGAIN THAT I DO NOT EXPECT HIM TO TAKE ON MY RESPONSIBILITIES. Yes, he is not my dad but is a friend who can help when I am down like you said. I hadn't need for his help until now and if he had helped, wouldn't have been a start of him paying my bills - I would not allow it.

Stop beating around the bush you ATM gyal

Just kidding.

Where are you based and where are you from so we can determine if you are a member of the 'toto development levy collectors' (TDLC) Nigeria headquarters or overseas branch.

I was glad when this thread went down in line, Now Debosky has gone and resurrected it,

You crack me up saying the wrong things

lovedgal:

I was glad when this thread went down in line, Now Debosky has gone and resurrected it,

You crack me up saying the wrong things

Answer the question!

debosky:

Stop beating around the bush you ATM gyal

Just kidding.

Where are you based and where are you from so we can determine if you are a member of the 'toto development levy collectors'  (TDLC) Nigeria headquarters or overseas branch.

Ok, I am not a member of the TDLC in any branch, nor am I an ATM gyal (even though you were just kidding  ). My nationality and location do not matter. I am just a girl who's just concerned about her man.

TDLC Atleast something is getting developed.

andromida:

TDLC Atleast something is getting developed.

They need to band together to defend their rights.

Guys just keep the money rolling so that TDLC will keep getting developed.

^^^^

BABE!:

^^ I was never interested fam. I just came on the thread to see what the 20+ pages fuss is all about; only to see "unreadable" posts.

Now you see why I said "You all some long winded mofos"?

I skimmed through it all and pretty much the same people saying the same thing.

debosky:

@ Shy One

I always address root causes, so I can't respond to each and every comment. I will make a few points:

1. I have always been in support of mutual assistance - I have said so numerous times.

2. If MBJ was talking about kobo and paying, he was talking about money. If you equate money with raising kids and sex(like you did), you are degrading everything it means to be a woman.

You can't come here and claim your words were twisted - you have implicitly said that since a man cannot breastfeed, the way to make things 'equal' is through money.

If you come out and say that statement you made was wrong, then that is another matter.

If MBJ was talking in purely monetary terms, why on earth will childbearing be brought in?? Or sex? Is sex now currency? Does breastfeeding have a $ value??

One more thing - no woman has ever used me as an atm. I hold absolutely no bitterness on this matter.

My views are based on principle - no man/woman should ever mix up money with parental DUTIES or intimate relationship.

Don't talk about PAYING (as MBJ did) and include  sex or childbearing - those are not PAYMENTS.

I don't see women as 'ashawo' - only those who want to receive payment for intimate services fall into that category.

@ Big D

This is a forum - and from what I just found out recently you are ONE OF THE MODERATORS of this forum

FORUM = A million thoughts, expressions, views and COMPARISONS (did it change in the past few minutes and I didn't get the memo?)

Tell me - How fair are you as A MODERATOR?

To tell me what I "can and cannot compare any topic or issue TO OR AGAINST for that matter ?"

I didn't read in the instructions anywhere posted where I had to Use tools for measurement of topics "selected by the moderators and moderators only"

Please point that out to me. (And I will fall in line and abide by that ruling)  God forbid I go against a Mod

Again - I direct you to re-read the post - ESPECIALLY THE ONE IN WHICH YOU REFER - That this is ONLY A MONEY COMPARISON because it is NOT just a money comparison - It was AN EQUALITY comparison - He wanted the woman to pay her KOBO - IN EQUAL MEASURE THE SAME AMOUNT THAT HE PAYS.  My response was justified - How are men and women equal in anything?  Pray, please share this with me.  Shy-One absolutely LOVES LEARNING NEW THINGS.

In that instance "My Moderator Friend" - my comparison was most accurate - If MBJ can go off topic and start to then TWIST ME UP with being from "his experience" some kind of an Ashewo and/or "Ashewo Acting" - or say that I "expect to be paid to have children and be paid to Be Intimate and be paid to tell a man that I love him" - where were you Mr. Moderator when all of that was going on?  Just curious - not trying to incite you to anger - just some logical questions coming to my thought.

Also - It is OBVIOUS from what I read that MBJ - WAS NOT talking "purely in monetary terms" - He associates money in a relationship with "equal share needs to be paid" - if he is "called up to pay it and if it is EVER REQUIRED OR REQUESTED OF HIM and if he is a PART of the transaction - such as engaging in a shared meal" - But if the "meal isn't shared" - She is on her damn own. (His exact wording)

And officially from me to you "Nice to meet you"

@ Shy-one 95% of women are ashawo according to new definitions by some guys here on nairaland. Young guys pls do not take note.

^^^

Ms. A - Thank you for introducing me to this world and to how it thinks by a large majority of dwellers - I guess I am finding this out. So I guess I am now an Ashewo Now if someone can teach me how to pronounce my "new found name" - so that I can make sure I introduce myself correctly to my new friends. I wouldn't want to NOT KNOW MY PLACE.

An ashyho is a person who receives cash and/or gifts in exchange for intimate and physical favors. 

A girlfriend is a person who is a step above an ashyho and receive cash and/or gifts in the relationship whether they ask for it or not.  A girlfriend can be a gold digger if she only date a man that has "gold" and must do for her as she will do for him. 

A wife is a person who is a step above the girlfriend or gold digger and doesn't have to ask her husband for anything seeing they have communicated everything before marriage.  The husband know his role and the wife know her role.  Agreement of expectations or responsibilities are drawn before marriage. 

If the wife fails to uphold her end and the husband fails to uphold his end then communications are in order and solutions are needed.  Divorce or separation aren't solutions.  It is a cop out and cowardly move. 

Women fall in these three categories when it come to men.

Oh Ok

Well - I am a Girlfriend who is in line to be a wife.

Thank you Mrs. C.  (sticks tongue out at men on the forum)

Thank you for educating us ignorant ones.

Mrs, Chima:

An ashyho is a person who receives cash and/or gifts in exchange for intimate and physical favors.  

A girlfriend is a person who is a step above an ashyho and receive cash and/or gifts in the relationship whether they ask for it or not.  A girlfriend can be a gold digger if she only date a man that has "gold" and must do for her as she will do for him.  

A wife is a person who is a step above the girlfriend or gold digger and doesn't have to ask her husband for anything seeing they have communicated everything before marriage.  The husband know his role and the wife know her role.  Agreement of expectations or responsibilities are drawn before marriage.  

If the wife fails to uphold her end and the husband fails to uphold his end then communications are in order and solutions are needed.  Divorce or separation aren't solutions.  It is a cop out and cowardly move.  

Women fall in these three categories when it come to men.  

Can we then infer from this that a girlfriend can become an ashawo if she begins to have expectations of a wife from her man even if they already act as if they are married seeing as the girl may be cooking, cleaning and performing other general household services as well as intimate services reserved for wives and ashewos for the man.

Shy-One:

@ Big D

I like that title - Big D. I think that’s what I’ll ask everyone to call me from now on.

This is a forum - and from what I just found out recently you are ONE OF THE MODERATORS of this forum

Tell me - How fair are you as A MODERATOR?

I am not a moderator - I was a moderator, but I don’t really see what that has to do with this conversation. I wonder who these outdated informants you are using are.

To tell me what I "can and cannot compare any topic or issue TO OR AGAINST for that matter ?"

Please point that out to me. (And I will fall in line and abide by that ruling)  God forbid I go against a Mod

Hehehe. . . .I have only stated my opinion - you are free to accept it or reject it. To put it succinctly, I don’t compare monetary issues to non-monetary functions, especially in relationships.

Again - I direct you to re-read the post - ESPECIALLY THE ONE IN WHICH YOU REFER - That this is ONLY A MONEY COMPARISON because it is NOT just a money comparison - It was AN EQUALITY comparison - He wanted the woman to pay her KOBO - IN EQUAL MEASURE THE SAME AMOUNT THAT HE PAYS.  My response was justified - How are men and women equal in anything?  Pray, please share this with me.  Shy-One absolutely LOVES LEARNING NEW THINGS.

Maybe you don’t know what ‘kobo’ means . Kobo is the equivalent of cents in Nigeria - it is MONEY and nothing else. Paying = money, other aspects of the relationship are excluded.

No one in his right mind will compare what women go through in motherhood to what men go through in fatherhood, so that isn’t really what this is about. Linking it back to the OP - she was talking about MONEY.

In that instance "My Moderator Friend" - my comparison was most accurate - If MBJ can go off topic and start to then TWIST ME UP with being from "his experience" some kind of an Ashewo and/or "Ashewo Acting" - or say that I "expect to be paid to have children and be paid to Be Intimate and be paid to tell a man that I love him" - where were you Mr. Moderator when all of that was going on?  Just curious - not trying to incite you to anger - just some logical questions coming to my thought.

Like I said, I haven’t responded to majority of posts here, I’m focused on a specific issue I feel strongly about, and that is your using ‘kobo’ (a monetary term) to describe childbearing and sex. That is unacceptable to me personally. As for the ‘ashawo’ comparisons, that is completely between you and MBJ. I have neither called anyone ashawo nor supported usage of that term.

Also - It is OBVIOUS from what I read that MBJ - WAS NOT talking "purely in monetary terms" - He associates money in a relationship with "equal share needs to be paid" - if he is "called up to pay it and if it is EVER REQUIRED OR REQUESTED OF HIM and if he is a PART of the transaction - such as engaging in a shared meal" - But if the "meal isn't shared" - She is on her damn own. (His exact wording)

He was talking purely about money - that’s why he said the person must be interested in HIM as the prize, not what financial resources he can offer. Every example he offered referred to buying something, which involves money. You don’t buy childbearing, neither should you buy sex.

PS - this is no defence of MBJ or his lifestyle - to each person his own. I do however agree with him that financial aspects should be completely separate from other aspects of a relationship.

And officially from me to you "Nice to meet you"

Nice to meet you too.

@ Thread

Apologies for another long winded post.