₦airaland Forum

All i can say is ,africans are clueless.

one word of advice please read your bible and see how you are sinning yourself.

Sanboy25:
I believe that God in his Infinite Compassion, would find a way to not send them to hell.
He understood their situation better than we, and better than our ancestors themselves.

That's a very good explanation,Only God knows.

ifeness: No they didn't ! Hell and heaven is nothing but inventions of the slave masters......and those who believe in them are slaves.

then what is your belief if i may ask?

Sanboy25:
I don't think so.
If you don't know the gospel, you are not guilty before God.

they were told the gospel,but they were forced into it at first .

Rossikk: @poster, I usually research the accounts of Near Death Experiencers and and other Out of Body Experiencers. According to these folks, there are various 'heavens' in existence, each one corresponding to a certain belief system... eg there is the Egyptian heaven, the Mayan heaven, the Igbo traditional heaven, the christian heaven etc etc. In each of these heavens reside souls who are used to such systems perhaps based on their time on earth as humans. They say the Egyptian heaven is the most exciting, full of festivals and laughter. The most boring is the christian heaven... where people dress in white gowns and blow trumpets in praise all day. It is said that many christian souls in their heaven after a while get bored with that routine and move on to more interesting 'heavens'. Of course, at that point they are all aware that there is no 'correct' or 'incorrect' way of doing things, and no punishment for choosing one belief system or convention over the other..

very good explanation.i really hope heaven is how you explain it.

Obviously Christianity and Islam did not originate in Africa, it actually originated in the middle east and was spread by force .It is also evident that Africans and every group of people in the world had their own religion ,before we all got colonized and enslaved.

since both religions emphasize on non believers being bad , and our ancestors not being believers. Do you think they went to hell?

All look ugly and crusty ,wouldn't kiss any.

where the heck is van vicker.

jmoore: You won't eat food but you will eat rice. Is rice not a food?
Just say yes, that you will instead of the contradictory statement

the answer for me is no

naya ,the other one looks like a zombie.

Ok here is a scenario that would probably never happen in the western countries. Unless america,Canada,and the UK turn into a poverty stricken country and allows all the immigrants to come in easier ,by allowing polygamy.
Finally getting the reality out of this.


moving on.....Anyways ladies living abroad and those who grew up with the western mentality.If they all of a sudden out of nowhere in this present day,made polygamy legal,yet it can't be legal without the permission of the other wife.Would you consider going into polygamy here?

no for me but,I would only go into polygamy ,with Barak Obama and Michelle ,also Justin Timberlake and jessica biel. Since they are people i wouldn't mind being around all day

Afam4eva: No it doesn't. I understand her point. She's just like my sister. They both like a man who does not have that African mentality that puts the man up there and that same culture that says that the woman must be subject to the man's rule.

@OP
I like the fact that you know what you want in a man. That's the first step towards getting the man of your dreams.

Thank you ,your post is the most helpful so far.

jeffizy: Since you've probably spent much time abroad, i expect that you will be in the best position to know where you can meet your kind of man.

Politely tell your Aunt that u won't want to appear desperate to any man.

i was born her ,never been to nigeria once.

fully american , i can't even cook african food

sexkillz: [color=#000030]You need to read her post again, perhaps. [/color]

thank you dear

Mrs..Chima:
OP

I totally get ur point but u know what u want and focus on that....do not focus on ur past experience....law of attraction is tricky and dangrrous.

Good luck.

thank you for understanding me.You are also right law of attraction is tricky and suprising

Yomii: Now i know that your problem is complicated. Because your post just intentionally classified all African guys in a primitive ideological settings which is very wrong. Despite the fact that most men beat their wife does'nt make all men thesame gal. If you don't want to remain single forever, get a real man, forget culture and settle down; or else your story will be like Tales by Moonlight.

wooooooooooow you are wayy wayy off.if you ever met me, you would turn the other way.

Cold blooded: Simple! Just Call ur aunty and tell her say na play u dey play that time, that u r not "single" but "double".

I wonder how she never knew you were single,abi if u dey married won't ur pple know?

Just pick a basketballer from Lakers and get hitched. Wish u luck.

sounds like a great idea

specialguest: I dont see any 'aunt' in this story. op simply wants an African American for a husband. Where are the blue passport holders on Nairaland? I

lol i was born and raised here. My lifestyle and personality is just not what an african man would accept.Trust me i have experience.

Atheist:-D:
So why haven't you been able to meet someone so far? Have you been looking long? America has a lot of eligible bachelors so take your time and enjoy yourself. If you dont want an African then dont go for one. Go for what you want.

am only 23 , and i had someone, but he moved and am not up for long distance relationships.I don't mind her finding someone for me it's cool ,but if she is am going to have to tell her my type.

Also just so you know am an atheist too.

An African man would not accept that.

goldfish80: Op your English structure is quite incomprehensible.. Kudos to those who read and understood what youre talking about.

i saw your post and your writing isn't so great either.

just saying

Last night i was speaking with my aunt, she asked if i was single i told her "yes" and she said she would find a husband from Nigeria for me.The thing is i am not so open to the "nigerian/african mentality". I want to tell my aunt that if she is going to search for a guy for me he has to be born here in america or atleast grew up here for most of his life.I have already tried to date guys fresh from africa but they all just seemed to fall right into that Typical nigerian/african mentality. that i just do not like and can not cooperate with. I am not trying to be offensive or anything.

I want to know how to tell my aunt this,without sounding like am looking down at my african men ,(which am not).

i also don't mind if he was born in africa or has african parents,i just don't want the "african mentality" type of guy.Cause i know we will fight day and night and end up in a big divorce/breakup(past experience).

But nice answers i get it.

I would upload my pics here ,but something is telling me not too ,so i better not.

and i guess i do wear too much makeup sometimes ,but i don't think i am hot looking natural as i do with makeup.

Yesturday i went to the gym,no i did not wear anything tight.All i wore was some baggy pants and a big tshirt. with my hair in a bun and no makeup on.Strangly ,even thought i looked disgusting and sweaty and showed clear signs that i did not want to be hit on, a whole bunch of guys came to flirt with me.Yet when i dress super pretty and have my nails done,and hair done. not too many guys come to hit on me.


do you males do this because of confidence or you are shy to approach a pretty girl,and rather approach an un kept girl.

its very wrong for a guy to ask a girl for money, nature doesn't run that way, a real man would cut off his figures before asking a women for a dime.

Well i met this sweet guy about 3 months ago when i was finishing school.May i remind you i met him online,and still not have met up with him in real life yet.I am here today because i need some advice and i have never dated or had a boyfriend b4. I am 20 and the guy is 30. Here is his description he lives with his mom ,he is a mechanic which is ok and he has a younger sister and younger brother.He claims that he lives with his mom because he had to stop school to support his mother,and that is why he still lives with his mom in the basement.I understood his issue and accepted it.He also had a son at 16 yrs ,but he said he is not sure if its his son but he left his country in africa and the boy lives with his grandparents.Because of these things i understood why he was broke and did not judge him. Because he said he was working hard.
He was a very sweet guy and i wonder what possibly could be wrong with him ,because he also promised me marriage and said he would never leave me after he takes my virginity.

A month later i saw his true colors. He would constantly ask me if i would give him money if we started dating i told him ,no i don't give out money i buy gifts though. He got angry at me and didn't talk to me for a week. yet i told him i understand his situations and i don't mind paying for myself but i can't give him money cause i don't have a job yet and am a student.For some reason he can't seem to understand that and gets mad anytime i say i cant give out money cause the money i use is my parents money ,which is met for me only.And then he comes bk starts insulting me that i better be nice to him else i will grow old and single cause i missed my chance.And i will be looking for him in the future, or he is the only one met for me,cause god made us be together.

Also in the beginning , he claimed to be christian and religious and promised no sex before marriage,but he is trying to convince me that pre-intimacy and anal sex is not sex so we can do that, but i disagreed with him then he got angry and since last week Monday he has not spoken to me.

Of course i am not stupid and i will not date this guy because i can tell we will not get along,and i may end up hurting him from the frustration he may give me.

but
My question since i am new to this dating scene,is are majority of men in this generation like this? Where are the gentlemen?

bknight: ^ Was dat to me? lwkm
Yes ma'm. I'll note ur advice,tnx.

But Girlfriend, U shld also knw a whole lotta peeps here r slicker than ur average. Btw, ur last reply doesn't sound like d Op

men being dependent on a women financially, looks bad no matter wat. unless he lost his job.

bknight: Male chauvinists and feminists alike can begin to propound theories.

Op I think that a better description of his personality will aid better informed &unbiased opinions. It wont be fair to take his immediate and remote actions to be a picture of his entire 30yr old life.
What is "living in his mother's basement" supposed to represent?
Ur write up, by default, reads biased with subtle indications of what u expect to hear.

just don't date when your tht broke,work on bettering yourself.

its like a girl not taking care of herself and dating.

wolexojo: I think the poster has to explain the situation of things properly. Were they talking about when they are married in the future or as at the moment they were speaking? We have to get this fact right before jumping into conclusion. If its in the future when they are couples why cant u support him? But if he was using the avenue to ask for money,then the guy is a pest.
@op U already killed ur bf or to bre bf by titling this post Broke boyfriend.

nope not when were married, i told him when were married we can share. but if he was my bf i don't lend out money just like that.especiallly when he has a job and i don't.

You guys are right, i pray to god to guide me in the right path.God had showed me.I don't know any guy that is 30 years old and will ask a student girl for money.I don't mind him being broke if he is working to get out of it. But when i get involved with you brokeness like i am your wife already, that's when i dip. I don't care if it is a test or anything ,am not wasteing my youth on a guy who has not made himself at 30,to have no shame to ask a girl 10 years younger than him for money.

there are many guys out there with more pride and a stable job,plus am goodlooking and can drop him any minute, so he should of known better.so before i drop my pants or a dime am cutting all contacts from him.

Atm am talking to this guy who is 30,while i am 20. he is nice caring,and he promise marriage because am a virgin and he says am nice.The thing is he doesn't have a proper job yet,he is broke,he acts like a child,and still lives in his mothers basement.I was cool with everything not until he ask if i would give him money when he is broke, i flipped out and responded i will lend it but i will be expecting it bk.The thing is he knows am a student and i can't help him out financial. we are not dating yet,but is this a sign that i should run away from him?

omg ,thank you all,and everyone who helped me.

i am feeling so much better , all i needed was to talk it out with someone or something.keeping quiet was a bad idea,for me and it was probably killing me inside.
so today is the last time i will ever complain about it and next time i will be more smart.i learned from my lesson and probably deserved it for not knowing to much.

i am also thankful for not losing my virginity to him and him allowing me to keep my clothes on.


bye bye now thread has died.

kelz88: OP, ok now I don't believe you. Even at 5 I didn't need anyone to tell me wagwan. Leave Bible out of this. . . It doesn't say you should follow every guy you see. . . . About "don't judge" lmao!! If he beats you beat him back. . . . Or will you turn the other cheek like your Bible tells you to?!

lol i am afraid beating him would get me into the hospital.

you probably have a strong personality,i didn't.plus i had a big crush on him, at the same time i wasn't strong and i was very passive,my parents were over protective of me and always made my decisions.it was just being misinformed


but i am okay now, i learn my mistakes and i am moving on.i am sure to never allow it again and if i ever see him again i will just ignore him.