₦airaland Forum

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it. Lo-and-behold a genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.

The Genie said, "Nope. Due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So, what'll it be?"

The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East . See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."

The woman thought for a minute. She said, "Well, I've been trying to find the right husband. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, gives me coffee in bed, has a great sense of humor and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time and is faithful. That's what I wish for. A good mate."

The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that map again."

just tot to lighten things here, say dont let one bad one spoil your joy

hey radiant and busta.i feel you guys, these question you asking now is like the question of the egg and the chicken.and from your story i wont be suprise if u live in london and am ready to bet 70%-30% that these guys r yoruba.no offence people am yoruba 2.well i ve learnt that people lie 4 various reasons.maybe they dont want 2 hurt the other person,maybe they want 2 tell us wat we want 2 hear etc.

how to cope.u can try my remedy.

life goes on.yesterday is past forget it.all you ve is today and the futhure.plus always remenber there is always someone who has it worst than you.above all life is too short

my pastor said the other day that women sould stop crying over breakup cos if things did not work out its for a reason.i never took it seriously but think.have you not heard about couples getting married and dying on thier honeymoon.or on the way to reception so may stories.think if thats wat would ve happened to you.my point is you neva know so dust your self and move on girl,

open your heart again and like i do now.just relax and let love lead the way, dont build doubts in ur mind .will spoil ur present.move on.life is good .life is fun,and there are loads of other nice guys out there.although a nale pal of mine said to me the other day that its only 5% lol

good kuck finding the right one

hey your resume is not that bad, kudos to u cos believe me some graduates cant write a presentable.however i think the following corrections will help you.

1.Your personal details should be on top of ur CV with ur contact details.cos its an introducation to who you are.can u imagine giving a speech.talking on the topic then introducing your self.

2.Its not necessary for you to give the full address details of your past work locations.just the company name,state or country if its outside nigeria will do.then its brief and straight.

3.From i CV serminal i attended.it is better not to add your references to your CV.WHY? becos imagine if you are a previous employer or referee and had 5 calls asking for reference on just one of ur previous staff.u may get upset/frasturated and not be as receptive as you should be.there by sending negative notions.when the right employer comes.plus its not wise sending out personal details of other people.you dont know where it may end up. belive me there is always a form for your referee no one is going to get em off your CV.furthermore it makes your CV unnecessary long if you just lookin to lenghten you CV.try addin skill(ie team players,microsoft trained,good communication skill,customer riented etc or you could add your past associations/club memberships eg your department associations,awards etc.or social leadership roles eg treasurer,social directior etc.it really helps alot in selling your self in place of your referee details just put.AVAILABLE ON REQUEST.

Lastly i think your CV could use a more professional format.like i always say,packaging matters.the way is package is wat you get.so package big ie pro

most importantly your CV is a way of selling urself.u ve 2 go the extra mile cos employers see loads of CV.and may not ve time 2 read the whole lot.

hope these points help you, sorry 4 any wrong spellings am not one to crosscheck.lol.Good Luck

Personal assistant, abroad yes. In Nigeria, hell no. Just ask your boss if you will be workin under or ontop of him.

hi people, a travel agency in victoria island lagos is looking to recuirt a receptions /front desk person. to start ASAP interviews will be held next week

skills and qualifications

hnd or ond holder
at least 1 year experience as a receptionist/administrator
excellent typing speed
be computer literate with a diploma in computer education
good communication skill
presentable and friendly personality
preferable female
should be able to multi task
good attention to details
should live in lagos and not too far from victoria island


apply by sending cv and cover letter to ticketingjob@yahoo.com on or before tuesday next week
subject of email should be position you applying for

CHIKEJUDE [b][/b][color=#000099][/color]Last week i went to vic lawerence for the test, I standed all day but today i am working with Eco Bank. just bear with them

with this your grammer i am suprise at ecobank, am sure u made a firstclass too :ofor those of you who say no body is perfect, for a graduate.plssssssssss we expect better, this is not a typing error its plain bad grammar.or english which ever, pls graduates of nairaland lets prove we are really graduates and ready to work,

[b]
Ever wondered why it's so hard to find a job in Nigeria

VACANCIES IN NIGERIA
Do you prefer imported products? Please read this:
Ever wondered why it's so hard to find a job in Nigeria ?

Chukwu Emeka had just been retrenched from a high flying job, and now he
set out hoping to bounce back into the job market. He started the day
early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6a.m.

While his coffee pot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG), and bathed with his sponge (FROM SOUTH AFRICA) and soap (from Ivory Coast ) and sprayed his designer perfume (from France ).

He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN ENGLAND, IMPORTED FROM DUBAI), designer
jeans (MADE IN SOUTH AFRICA) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA).
After
cooking his breakfast on his new electric cooker (MADE IN INDIA) he sat
down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend
today.

After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN JAPAN)
according to BBC(BROADCASTING FROM LONDON) time, he got in his car
(MADE IN GERMANY AND REFURBISHED IN BELGIUM) and continued his search for a good paying NIGE RIAN JOB.


At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day, Chukwu decided
to relax for a while. He sat on his leather couch (MADE IN CANADA) reading
a best-seller novel (PUBLISHED IN USA).
After a while he wanted to
refresh himself. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a
glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA),
to CNN (TRANSMITTED FROM AMERICA) and then wondered why he can't find a
good paying job in, NIGERIA, !

This is food for thought.

LEARN TO PATRONIZE MADE IN NIGERIA GOODS SO THAT WE CAN CREATE MORE JOBS
FOR OURSELVES
[/b] [color=#990000][/color]

congrats very good going, i think you should go for ECO bank as people say zenith bank pays good but there is one pit fall their employee relation is poor.they are essesively target driven which is good but they make money from both customers and staffs.as a staff if you are 1min late 1000 naira gets deducted for your account like it or not, to me a good job goes beyond more than money to encompass job satisfaction,good management structure,supportive work enviroment and stress free.well good luck with ur decision, and if u a christian u should give thanksgiving on sunday, cos this is a testimony to encourage others

HI ALL A PAL FORWARDED THIS TO ME, I DO NOT FIT INTO ANY OF THE REQUIREMENT SO I DECIDED TO PASS IT ON, GOOD LUCK TO THREE LUCKY PEOPLE


Due to high level of demand and growth in travel and tourism in Nigeria the need has arisen for the following positions to be filled in a travel agency located in Victoria island Lagos

Job title: Ticketing personnel
Location: Victoria Island, Lagos
Salary: To be discussed plus good commission structure
Job type: Permanent

MAIN DUTIES & RESPONSIBILITIES

• Understanding all functions of the ticketing department
• To service internal customers swiftly and efficiently.
• To liaise with airline ticketing departments
• To liaise with airport representation
• To issue with accuracy both published and nett fare tickets for each of our revenue streams
• Meet all ticketing deadlines
• Meeting departmental productivity benchmarks
• To assist colleagues within the department in all ticketing related duties.

EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATIONS
Good university degree or relevant

EXPERIENCE & SKILLS

• A minimum of 6 months years ticketing experience in a similar fast paced travel environment, used to working to tight deadlines under pressure.
• Knowledge of issuing tickets from at least 40 net contracts and good product knowledge.
• Ability to self-motivate, without supervision.
Must be target driven
Be a team player
Smart appearance with excellent communication skills


Job title: Accountant
Location: Victoria island, Lagos
Salary: to be discussed

RESPONSIBILITIES

Performing routine accounts payable functions including raising cheques, bank reconciliations, accounting functions
• Payment of employee expenses in line with contracted expenditure including entering, coding and posting
• Performing monthly financial accounts reconciliations
• Maintenance of the fixed asset register

SKILLS & QUALIFICATIONS
Degree in accounting or finance
More that one years experience
• Effective communication skills (verbal and written)
• High level of literacy and numeracy
• Ability to work speedily and accurately under pressure
• Ability to understand the importance of providing an excellent level of client service at all times
• Organised and attention to detail
• Microsoft Word, Excel to Intermediate standard (preferable)
• Applicants will need to show loyalty and commitment to their previous employers
• Friendly and outgoing personality
• Openness to new processes and willingness / ability to learn

METHOD OF APPLICATION
Send CV and application letter stating why we should employ you and position applied for to
ticketingjob@yahoo.com

Please note only short listed candidates will be contacted

hi people i got a text message for diamond bank test this morning can someone pls tel me the format of their text and is it true i have to read GMAT for the test cos this is my first text please help a sister out.

VERY NICE TREND HERE,,BUT I DONT SEE THE REASON WHY THE EMPLOYEE HAS TO BE THE ONE TO PAY THEM.THESE AGENCIES GET PAIDED BY THE COMPANIES WHO USE THEIR SERVICES BECOS GETTING THE RIGHT EMPLOYEE IN THE COMPANYS BEST INTEREST. I VE LIVED IN THE UK FOR YEARS AND VE NEVER PAID OR HEARD OF SOMEONE PAYING TO USE AGENCIES, WE ARE NOT THEIR SOURCE OF INCOME ITS THE COMPANIES, MY FELOW NIJAS AND JOBSEEKS WE SHOULD KNOW OUTR RIGHT AND NOT LET PEOPLE EXPLOIT US, NO MATTER HOW LITTLE THE MONEY IS, U MAY THINK 1,500 IS NOTHING BUT THINK HOW MUCH THEY WILL MAKE IF 1000 PEOPLE PAY, IF ITS THAT EASY I SHOULD BE STARTING A RECUIRTMENT AGENCY IN NIJA SOON, [i][/i]

HI DUTTYBARB or wat do u call ur self i read ur posting over and over again at first i wondered why u taking the matter so serious and wat ur problem is.then the answer came to me like a flash of light, AND AM GUESSING U A GATE MAN IN ONE OF THE TEST CENTER, and gatecrashers make ur job hell, but take it easy my friend.do understand that people who gatecrash are doing so out of desperation how will u feel if u graduated 5yrs ago and no good job, u should apologise you know, well do think be4 u post next time and a little sensitivity towards others will go a long way in making nija a betta place, caio

pls note am not a jobseek or gatecrasher i just like this site [i][/i]

From experience and general knowledge any guy who has 2 put up an advert for a wife,or guys who tell people to help them find a wife are usually not MANenough,ve serious commitment issues with previous relationship.or just need a wife to act as a furniture in a home, girls be warned[color=#000099][/color]

[color=#000099][/color]


HEY GUYS I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP HERE.My ex boyfriend who left me for my own friend about six months ago,really broke my heart i mean the works.ie took sleeping pill 4 weeks,lost about 6kg in 2months,listened to all the old love songs possible.cried mysef to sleep for months.infact u name it i did it.now out of the blues he is back and begging me to come back and start afresh.the painfull thing is am just starting 2 recover and get over him and now he is back again.how do i forgive such a thing, the issues am having is

1.he dumped me really bad.u know like being with her in public and ignoring me,not taking my calls etc
2.how can i ever trust him again
3.wats the possibility it wont happen again
4.he broke an unwritten rule in dating.thou shall not date ur partners friends,family and enimies
5.he said so many terrible things about me to his friends
6.he took back all the stuffs he gave me 4 my birthday,chrismas etc

PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME WAT TO DO, I AM REALLY CONFUSED