₦airaland Forum

Best advice... Please go with this and thank me later, let him reduce alcohol, alcohol kills libido, plus his age, he should be taking testerones boosters. And a lot of watermelon and banana instead. Stick to your marriage pls and don't cheat please.

Mikocake:
I’m having the feeling that Op feels the husband deprived her of her youthful life by marrying her off @22, but my sister let me tell you the truth, nothing dey street oo. I don’t know who might be advising or influencing you to feel inadequate in your marriage but there are no perfect marriage anywhere. I’ve seen cases like this and the women always turn bitter after leaving their husbands because they realize there’s no love in the street. Don’t leave your home to turn sidechick to someone’s else husband oo. All the problems you listed about your husband can be worked on. I think his inability in bed can be attributed to his habit of drinking alcohol which when cut out or reduced, will get better. If his father is still alive, talk to him about the situation or a male figure that he respects. And remember, please don’t cheat on him cuz once you do, kiss your marriage goodbye. Men who don’t cheat hardly forgive cheating oo

Last last all of us go carry guns and cutlass, dey travel by road..

Glimpsetv:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4c_YuTvFNo?si=UmV7mhLT-ZeU99e2

That's why the moment you requested for a loan, or you took a loan, and Authorization form is given to to signed, of course if you don't signed the loan won't be disbursed. You have to signed an authorization to debit or deduct it from your account.
You think bank are stup***d . The have lawyers too.

giftson102:
There is one banking truth in this country that will shock you. And the banks will never tell you this.

Because it is one of the biggest tools they use to debit people’s accounts without warning.
And Nigerians, out of fear and ignorance, think it is normal.

But this is not normal. It is illegal. And you can sue the bank or report them to CBN.

Let me explain it clearly.

You see that thing that someone will send you money and the bank will automatically deduct or take all of the money for loan repayment?

By law, no bank in Nigeria has the right to debit your account for any loan repayment unless you signed a written debit mandate.

Not “verbal agreement.”
Not “you applied on the app.”
Not “the loan officer said so.”
Not “you clicked accept.”
Not “we assumed you agreed.”

Even if you are owing Billions, there must be a clear, documented, signed mandate giving the bank permission to take money from your account before they can legally do so.

This is a Central Bank of Nigeria consumer-protection rule, and it protects Nigerians from unauthorized deductions, intimidation, and exploitation.

So why do banks get away with illegal debits?

Because most Nigerians don’t know the law. (I don’t know why no musician has produced “Show Me the Law Song” we need such a song because most Nigerans don’t know the law.)

Most people don’t know they even have this right.
Most don’t know debit mandates must be signed physically or digitally with proper documentation.
Most don’t know they can challenge the deduction.
Most don’t know they can demand the signed mandate.
Most don’t know the bank must refund if the mandate doesn’t exist.

So the banks take advantage of the ignorance.

They debit you from another account.
They take money from your salary account.
They clean out your savings.
They go into dormant accounts.
Some even enter joint accounts.
And when you complain, they intimidate you with technical language.

“System flagged your account.”
“Your BVN is linked.”
“It’s part of the loan terms.”
“It was in the app.”

But the law remains:

Without a signed, specific debit authorization, the bank has no legal right to touch your money.

None.

What you can do starting today:
-Ask your bank to show you the signed debit mandate on any loan you owe.

-If they cannot produce it, request an immediate refund.

-If the bank refuses, report them directly to CBN Consumer Protection: cpd@cbn.gov.ng

-Attach your bank statement and complaint.
-CBN usually forces the bank to refund the unauthorized deduction.

Banks fear CBN queries more than anything else.

Know your rights, but most importantly, pay your debts.

You don't know what you are talking about?

ZUBY77:
I don't believe this.
I have been to Akwa-Ibom and Enugu on several occasions This year and I can tell you Enugu beats Akwa Ibom hands down by a big margin.
You must know one of the people who attended the NBA conference in Enugu this year, just ask the person.
Wake up and drive out around 6am in Enugu, you will see road cleaners and sweepers cleaning everywhere and they won't look your way, unlike elsewhere where they will abandon their works and be looking inside your car to give them money (Imo and Lagos tops the list od road workers turned beggers)

Although I am referring to Uyo and Enugu city. I believe the survey was taken in those two capitals.

Nowadays, instead of fixing things, we throw them away and want to buy a new one. Gen Zs generation. If you can handle a closed door, why close it in the first place, why burn the bridge and turn around and start weeping when you still need it to pass through

treesun:
https://dailypost.ng/2025/11/01/muric-accuses-can-of-betraying-tinubu-over-us-christian-genocide-allegation/

The North knows how to play politics,
They are using Islamist extremists to kill Christians, and are using it to paint the Tinubu regime as bad governance and to truncate his ambition in the SE/SS come 2027.

Just take a moment to consider what you're saying. What will happen to the large population of women? That will pave way for the importation of male gadgets to flood this country? While some countries are focusing on ways to encourage men to marry multiple women and empower women to reduce the number of single women, you seem to be suggesting the opposite.

How? How did he exploited her? When he buying her Porsche, Benz luxury vacation he didn't exploit her?
She was above 18yrs before the said marriage, why didn't she reject it regardless of her pressure..?

I'm not saying there are no instances that some doesn't work out, you just said that your wife understands how marriage should be, but majority flop.

Not necessarily true. My wife said no sex before marriage... and she's easily better sexually than any other woman I've been with. The difference is that she understands what a marriage is and fully commits herself to it. Looking back, sex before marriage was completely of no value.[/quote]

This is why I'm not a fan of no sex till after marriage, don't quote me wrong, I'm not saying is not good.. infact it's godly, but I'm not just a fan. I have to know my woman and ensure we sexually compatible before marriage.

Well said..
The ability to remain humble when having money and power is a rare gift.

Gwam:
There's difference between the Word ALTER & UTTER.
Op, take note.

Read and pass... English is a borrowed language.

breadtoaster:
Please, those of you who are married — how do you cope?

I am married to someone I don’t think is my friend. We dated before marriage, but during that time, I had a very senior friend whom I always went to for advice, help with decisions, and assistance with things that required initiative or “manly” effort.

My husband, on the other hand, is very quiet. Living with him feels like living in a graveyard — no TV, no outings, nothing lively. It’s not that he isn’t intelligent (trust me, he is), but he’s too lazy to put his mind to work sometimes. By 9 p.m., he’s already asleep. He eats, goes to work, and that’s all. He has no drive for more. Whenever I talk about progress or goals, he says, “It’s a process; it’ll take years to come to fruition,” but he never thinks of ways to get things done efficiently or on time.

So in terms of ambition or drive for achievement, I’m suffering living with him. I feel alone. I’m scared that his lack of motivation and his slow, passive lifestyle will kill my own drive. I’m not even extremely driven myself, but I know I want to achieve greatness. That desire pushes me, but I’m afraid that living with him will make me too relaxed and unmotivated — and I don’t want that.

Before marriage, I had friends — both male and female — with whom I shared advice and ideas. I’ve always had male friends because they tend to be driven. From them, I learned about crypto, stocks, business ideas — they inspired me. But my husband doesn’t trust them or me around them. Since we got married, I can’t talk to most of these friends at home unless I’m at work. It’s affecting me mentally. I’m scared that my circle for growth and greatness is being trimmed down, and soon I might start behaving like him — with no ambition or hunger for achievement.

Women, how do you handle such relationship dynamics?
How do I keep my drive while being married to such a man?

Every Friday night, he’s already asleep. One time, I dragged him to a lounge on a Friday night, and he was dozing off there. I ended up dancing alone while other couples danced together. If there’s something important we’re supposed to do, he won’t take initiative or push for it.

For example, I suggested we start going to church regularly to build our spiritual life. One Sunday, he woke up first and went to bathe. When he finished, he didn’t wake me up, and by the time I opened my eyes, it was already late. When I asked why he didn’t tell me, he said he called me but I didn’t answer. For me, I wouldn’t act that way — especially when it’s something that helps build our faith together.

We also planned to pray as a family. We did it for two days, and then he forgot — and honestly, I’m struggling to remember too. I don’t know if our marriage is under spiritual attack or if it’s just his personality, but my mental health is suffering. I’m not happy. I don’t genuinely smile anymore.

He doesn’t know how to pamper me or show warmth. If I complain about something, he just lashes out. He didn’t date much before marriage; he was one of those “spiritual brothers.” I was spiritual too, but I thought quiet men were more romantic or deep inside. I was wrong. I feel like he’s choking the life out of me.

At home, I can’t even make calls freely — he gets unknowingly aggressive if I’m on the phone and says things like, “Don’t you have things to do?” So I can’t talk to the people I’d love to.

After our marriage, he had issues going to my family, claiming I blackmailed him because of earlier arguments. He would get upset about small things, like me dancing to Afrobeat music. He’d say I shouldn’t, then later deny he said it. Or if we go out to eat, he’ll say we should leave early or that the place will soon close, even when I just want to relax and enjoy being outside.

I feel alone, yet married. I miss home. I’m not sure what to do.

It even took us one month after the wedding to consummate our marriage. We were both virgins, but his manhood wasn’t functioning well, and we had so many arguments that our emotional connection broke down. I felt it literally fall apart. Now I feel like I’m just living with someone.

He often says, “We’re not aligned,” or that he trusts me only 60%. If I go out, he sometimes gets angry or accuses me of lying about where I went. I can’t stay indoors all day like him — I’d just die inside.

I need help. I feel like I’m losing myself. When I visit home, my mother’s voice feels loud or too much, my friends when i talk to them, it feels like they are talking too much — not because they are talking too much, but because I’ve been living in such silence that I’ve lost touch with voice, morelike in a graveyard.

I am even crying as I type this, and he is sitting somewhere on the other side asking me if my head is swelling or what is making me cry.

I’m just… tired. feeling so strongly emotionally starved tooo.

Trust me your husband problem is insecurities.
Make him have 100% trust in you, he will allow you to be absolutely free. And he seems to be more of introvert person and reserved, while you an extrovert. So don't push, just try the best you can and work ok making him trust you more so you can mingle and relieve yourself of boredom

ItsTutsi:
I’m suffering from erectile dysfunction for about 2 months now, I was very active sexually, all of a sudden this early November, I lost all appetite for sex and can’t get an erection

This has made me very depressed and anxiety has made me lose interest in everything, weak and sluggish. I cant concentrate on anything

what could be the reason pls?

First of all, the go and run Lab ensures you do not have an infection, the infection can make have serious erectile dysfunction.

Secondly, after that is done, take testerone supplements, and supplement that boost mens libidos and regulate blood Flow to joysticks.

Thirdly avoid stress, anxiety and stop thinking a lots, stress is also a major factor of erectile dysfunction,

Lastly sleep well, do kegel exercises, and stop masturbating. Do this and thank me later.

What you are going through is exactly what happened to me few months ago,

But I'm fine now, dnt be depressed the good part is erectile dysfunction is treatable...

The problem is not about reporting a crime, the issue is what happen to you after you report the crime, because here in Nigeria after reporting a crime, you become the first suspect.

ChelseaArmy:
https://leadership.ng/police-unveil-emergency-app-to-tackle-crimes/

The problem is not about reporting a crime, the issue is what happen to you after you report the crime, because here in Nigeria after reporting a crime, you become the first suspect.

lifezone247:
Yes, yes and yes. AC has nothing to do with fuel consumptions. It’s uses gas when the engine is running. Make una stop that mentality abeg.

Using a vehicle's air-conditioning system increases its fuel consumption more than any other auxiliary feature. An air-conditioning (a/c) system can increase fuel consumption by up to 20% because of the extra load on the engine.

just ignore it, keep praying, the devil is tryin to play mind games with you.... you are save by grace not by keeping the laws, but mind u, you should not continue in sin so grace may abound.... the devil knws you were save a thousand yrs ago. so keep praying and ignore the devil... or rather u pause and tell the devil ( ur mind)... " yes i watch it and so? are u christ to judge me?"... once u do that, u continue on ur prayer.

Pls I want to really advice u on this as i am currently going through same.. pls dnt hv the idea that ur marriage is going to be destroy cuz of this.. think of this she stay awake atimes at night to breast feed the baby, nd also go tru huz chores during the night, also as a woman once they put to birth their sex urge tend to dwindle.. also the kids needs to be attached to her or u.. mine my daughter is currently sleeeping with me, nd my son sleep in the kids room and the baby which is 2months old sleep with the mum, I barely hav sex though shes not stopin me from getting it, shes like anytime I want i shld come get it, atimes she feel reluctant coming to my room or atimes she will say she will come to my room but end up dosin off with the baby.. so wat I do is anytime i felt the urge instead of goin outside I will hv go get it, then wenevr she has chance too we can do it to the fullest pls dnt let this destroy ur marriage nursing mother goes tru alot.. pls

Florblu:
FACT!

Nigerians has seen begging celebrities for money as a Profession. There are a lot of PROFESSIONALS

Wat do u hv them do?.... since politicians are not helpin issue.. nd d country is hard. Man gotta survive.. mayb celeb will do

Bros to b sincere with you, its happen to me during my second child, I was so uncomfortable with it, evn my wife wasnt ok with it.. what I did was to change the hospital evn more sophiscated than the one she was usin interms of health care system.. cuz aside frm bein professional u nvr can tell future.. wat happen after delivry u knw we men... but if u r ok with it u can allow her.

@OP

It is unfortunate that you want to eat your cake and still have it . I loathe pretenders . The truth is that you owe obligation to the said manager that directed you to the organization where your bread is now temporarily buttered . From now onward , never enter into an agreement formally/informally on anything you are not sure of fulfilling in the long run . Always be diplomatic when doing so , by immediately creating a clause that can guarantee you blameless exit route should you find it inconvenient to pally along in such association . It's always better to be on the offensive side of the world that to be of the defensive side ... This is one secret of long life .

Your silence when he laid down his condition(s) equaled to affirmation to his given terms to you , thus his assumed right of ownership of committed relationship with you now . Should you insist in reneging from the agreement you had with him without finding a way to placate him , then you have got every reason to be afraid of your life and job . Except if he has a heart of gold to forgive and not forgetting of course .

My advice to you should be to try by all means possible to have a meet with him , in an open place of course . Try to bear your mind to him and let him know that you are very grateful for his kindness toward you and that you would ever remain grateful to him . However , that you have scrutinized his request for relationship with you , but that in all sincerity you don't have same feelings for him as he had for you . But wait , if you are not married and still searching , and the guy in question possesses some good traits you would consider in a man for marriage , while not give him a chance to date him , not minding how blunt he was in his approach . Never say never . You can date him without allowing him to shine your " kpomo " .

Allow him chance for date with you . Within the first week of dating him , try to be sensitive whenever you are with him , in the process should you observe any ill-character he posses that you won't tolerate from a potential suitor , then you should use such as " banana peel " , to terminate your relationship with him . In summary , never push away someone that does good of this magnitude to you , without giving him/her justifiable reason for doing so , else you would be putting your life and future in line for bad things .
i think Empero say it all..... what was ur reply when he was speaking out his mind, were u silence? did u put it up straight to him ur mind or intentions too? if nt, then u hv to be vry diplomatic nt to hurt him. remember "nvr 4get people that help you in ur way goin up, cuz u may likely meet them when coming down".