₦airaland Forum

U deserve an award for ur latest discovery then.

dammizz:
Lol. . . I like d 2nd joke, d 1st 1 only makes meagre of a sense

. . and the 2nd meralds of sense!

Studio CFR:
I'm still searching for the joke. . . . .

The joke don RIP. .search in the coffin.

U come waste time when ya mate dey sell am.

Oh now i get they are 3 diff jokes. .Yinks, was concluding i was a sec slower than the clock. .hmm.

Studio whats up?

But dont fake it sir.

Wow! I'm glad to hear these replies. How was ur celebrations?

We still have few days into next yr. The changes we'd want to see can start now. As life is spiritual, we plan and pray for 2011 with our goals in focus before stepping into it.

I WISH Y'ALL THE VERY BEST OF LIFE. Happy holidays.

nuclearboy:
^^ Yep, talk is cheap but FRUITS are real.

So what are the fruits -
Paul BOASTED IN THE LORD. He was and remains a giant cutting across denominations, cults, sects, whatever. He has been quoted by Jim Jones, the Man responsible for Waco, billions of honest and dishonest people. The mark he has made is felt everyday but when you take his words, you see support for the absolute majesty of the Lord God. So yes, he did have the right to boast. And when he spoke in tongues, people heard in their own languages what he said. We see his fruit everywhere today.

Paul is not remembered for doing the "barabarracudafishstewriceandbeansisverysweet yemamama" rubbish that is meant to solicit excitement without the backing of the Spirit of God. He never asked for a "prophetic" gift nor did he accept "offer 7" that worsened the lot of the poor and swelled the purse of the rich. Can you show one person who stole to bless Paul? When someone kept back what initially belonged to him, the power of God in Peter showed just how much trust/power was invested in him.

But we have this gangster like, cultism like motley collection of the most depraved people in society. Driving past a noisy record store weeks back, one "Saint Janet" singing some of the most explicit lyrics I've heard since the days of the "2 live crew", discussed the fruits she saw of three churches. Even with my aversion to CE theology, I was ashamed to hear such. Yet the refrain remains "we are becoming bigger", "growing stronger" "US$35M is chicken change". As if its not "supposedly great ministers who "supposedly" did great things in His Name that Christ said He'd tell "I never knew you workers of iniquity". As if christ didn't speak of the wheat and chaff growing together - reason being the chaff so resembles the wheat that only at harvest can they be easily separated.

When a man comes out and claims he wants to show he or someone else is right, he has invited criticism. Only thieves, criminals or those who have skeletons to hide do not wish critique.

God is about motives and truth, not what you try to portray on the outside.

Hey, couldn't be bothered to read thru ur post after reading the 1st & last paragragh. Obviously, ur beef against Pastor Chris is rootless, very aimless. . attempt to criticize without the right substance. Seriously, If the apostles were here, u'd sharply publish critiques of their acts too.

Chapter what verse what of what book of the Bible did [b]Paul [/b]speak in tongues and men heard in their languages?

FYI, our brother Paul didn't boast because renowned men quoted him. .but rather in the mighty power of God in His word evident in his dispensation and still is today. David, in his Psalms boasted too. .see, boasting in the Lord is not by the perfection of a man. A saint isn't one because he is perfect (Eph 4:12) but because he has a heart after God.

What is ur own drive? What makes u do the things u do? Would u be sincere with God first and urself 2nd before men that all these u're posting is for the furtherance of the Gospel? I'm throwing these qxns as I can not find love in them posts of urs. They sound ugly and from a bitter heart.

nuclearboy:
All of you including your marketing manager have stated on NL that your pastor is misunderstood, humble etc. Jo went further to say he presents us excerpts from the speeches pastor made so we might see the depth, power and understanding inherent in the teaching. He thus challenged us to consider and see if we would not be impressed. Some have been quite nice.

But, the original post above is vapid & boastful and I am not impressed. Matter of fact, nobody on this thread who is not a member of CE seems impressed.

I deliberately listed the "giants" in God's Word. They ALL faced ups and downs. ALL OF THEM. Interestingly, their ups were heavenly whist their downs were earthly. From Abraham who willingly denied rights to his wife to Moses who with all his service and obvious greatness had issues to the Lord Himself to the fore-runners of todays Gospel. Paul (whom you scream owns this Covenant) wondered what his gain was to be with all the suffering, trials and tribulations here if his hope in eternity was ill advised. That he said, because eternity is the Christians' "UP". Life here in effect, was as it were, a total down for him. Thats was Paul - the only one you people seem to respect saying "MY HOPE IS HEAVEN BASED AS I AM NOT OKAY HERE ON EARTH". But you could disprove me and show Paul's rewards on earth the way you people usually explain rewards - cash, dominion, power, maybe even jeri curls and the best suits.

So when you come at me saying your life is upwards/forwards only, seems you too went like Jesus into the wilderness. But when deal time came, you took the kingdoms of this world from the guy who waits when you come down the mountain.

Thats why boasting of capabilities is not good - it puts you under scrunity aside of being something God hates.

So all of you could clap for yourselves and do the solidarity thing concerning this poison - it impresses nobody else apparently. So please register a few more IDs and let the single and under 10 post people come in to scream how "enlightened" they were. No one is fooled.

Paul said 'I boast in the Lord' he also said 'I thank my God that I speak in tongues more than ye all'
Paul would have been cartooned if he were Pastor Chris. . Everytime, Pastor Chris this, Pastor Chris that.
If y'all want to be judgemental, y not study b4 coming up with cheap talks?

okay enjoy urself.

LOL where?

Okay here's mine; He came to give us life according to John 10: 10. but in order to do this, He had to eradicate sin which was y he had to die in our place. This life called Zoe, God's kind of life. Thinking of the beautiful things packaged in this life I just celebrate this season with joy and thanksgiving.

oya over to u.

Exactly what i'm talking about. .somethings u can't just know.

BTW, Why did u start this thread? To argue the fact or to understand it?

yet another old ol'lady joke

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding ,



Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding .

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see, Can I see your vehicle registration papers please .

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!!!!


Don't Mess With Old Ladies

thot as much. .good for u. The taste of a pudding is in the eating.

bashy_demy:
Lysaa you dey reach here? ok at the call of his name you said huh did you remember a man called professor peller during his life time he perform lots of magic and they are like miracle, if am Ogun worshipper call on his Ogun he will surely get everything he want same as the Ifa priest same as Sango priest are you telling its was only the name of Jesus that make things happen? pls lysaa come up with another story

Hey bashy, dunno if u're a Christian or what u stand for. .just sent a reply to your post i found while trying to quote u on a different section.

1st of all, I didn't post a story but something more than fact. .it is reality. The name of Jesus is higher than those names u've mentioned put together. .It is the strongest name under heaven given to men by which they can be saved. It has been decreed that every knee in heaven, on earth and under the earth bow to the name of Jesus.

The kingdom of God is not just in words but in power. This is one of those things that u can't understand especially with ur sense knowledge but in the demonstration of power. .Dig it or dis it. I rest this case with u.

Interesting. More questions and answers pls.

^^ thanks for that good observation.

The devil is a big time liar!

Hey guys its Christmas again, a time we all celebrate the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ into the world, the word that became flesh and dwelt amongst us. We eat, drink and make merriments with different intents.
I would like to know from your point of view why Jesus came. Guess if we know this, we'll celebrate this unique season with a focus. So the question is open for answers, Why did Jesus come?

Another Old lady joke:


A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a £20 note falls out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, “Ma’am, there are £20 notes falling out of your bag.”

“Oh, really? Darn!” says the little old lady. “I’d better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, ”

“Well, now, not so fast,” says the cop. “How did you get all that money?” “You didn’t steal it, did you?”

“Oh, no”, says the little old lady. “You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his thing through the fence, I say, “£20 or off it comes.”

“Well, that seems only fair.” laughs the cop. “OK? Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”

“Well, you know”, says the little old lady, “not everybody pays.”

Old sha. https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-13747.0.html

sharrap dia my friend!

yeyyyy Innocent Ohiri. I was told they're ikwere casts. Maazi this maazi that. Nchele.

That was our cane to behave. hehehe

Hahaha

LOL. .hailings of the season y'all.

^^Insecurity and irresponsibility in the highest order!

LOL, they all had juice in bottles.

lol. .

LOL, I'm a car dealer. .i mean, made in 9ja cars. cac

Cos i have good smell sense.

.

LOL
Brefa. .my mama o or iye mwen.

One of the big men was always having a heart attack: Joooonah! Joonah

And one activist!

bright007:
And lastly if u used your money for launch to buy eleganza biro then u pour off d ink on a dirty water hoping it will spread out forming a mammy water image,

yeah, tried that with my friends, when we saw a shapeless image with tiny end (tail) we assumed that it was the mammy-water we saw.

bright007:
There is one thing everybody forgot to remember which is boarding the attachment seat on a commercial bus,if u really grew up in benin u will not forget dis,wen I came to lag 15 years ago there was nothing like d above

ugbe nor! love that. .lol
we forgot the tuke-tuke!

eldav, btween u n me, who are u? tell me quick n modify.

chei! liars. .confederacy of dunces!

Tunexsy:
Could someone pls modify dis lovely joke for our current situation.

lol lazy!
If somebody's looking for someone with 25hrs a day in his hands then somebody lied.