₦airaland Forum

Won de oooo

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

Bro, against most opinion that she might have started cheating, She has NOT started cheating yet. she wont be cheating with nonspecific guy ie she cant be cheating with all of them thats almost impossible. Again, she wouldnt have divulged every movement to you or tell you its an Ex she can easily said its a friend or relative.
I am of the opinion that you shd allow her the more...(In your mind: You will be like "YOU SAY WETIN". Yes, you heard me right, Allow her the more!
I am very certain possibly during your dating period you appeared a gentleman that everything is cool with. That might have influenced her choice of you above others, so na now you wan change am?!
The danger of restricting her is more staggering than allowing her. Ask me why? Soon she will stop confiding in you..she wont even tell you where shes up to and what shes up to in the real sense. To her, presently she believes shes being very truthful to you and "you shd rather praise me than restrict me" thats her thots.
Its dangerous to do otherwise cos she might easily get one of her past guys to confide in and it showed clearly they are readily willing to take her back!
Now, this is ur own joker! try to be descriptive and do numerous examples and if she likes movies let her see many that depict how trusting in urself might go wrong cos i believe thats her opinion of herself that she can handle every emotions perfectly without anything going wrong!
Let her know the reason why the scripture says "..flee from all temptations!" and gently persuade her on how sad you are to even have her ex come on ur mind...
if gentle persuasion doesnt work then start moving with ur past exes (dont single just one out o so it wont seems as rekindled love affairs). do just as shes doing and make everything open to her, up to ur need for you to leave home sunday morning (that ure supposed to go to church) to go cater for ur exes sincere need. but pls dont get carried away sha and have a witness in your wife's friend cos of any eventual claims ur wife may want to bring up.
If all these dont work. Bros, find another wife! My little penny

phunkypalace:
Well you might likely not understand because you are not into Aviation...

I know you're talking from a professional perspective but I believe if we consider it serious, a plane shd be designed to cater weights of all items needed to make flight safer! It's a simple maths. Or worst, they reduce passengers on each trip and replace their weights with parachutes or appurtenances that would make flight safer!

phunkypalace:
It will cause an overweight and the plane would never be able to takeoff if the weight is above it's MTOW. (Maximum Take Off Weight).

What is this one saying

Agbero fain your trouble you go call Police. My friend you're on your own!

Agbero fain your trouble you go call Police. My friend you're on your own!

Lastanza:
As in they disappeared? or their remains were crushed to shreds.

It is heartrending! Their smithereens were even consumed by fire completely. We humans can burn completely! We are consumable in front of fire o! Am shaking as am typing..Especially cos of the high hopes I had on Prof. Pius Adesanmi that was killed by that crash. So sad!
I wake up to look up his pictures on a daily basis, I cant believe he is no more!

eluquenson:
When the regulatory body has been settled heavily, demolition notice was removed. SMH

Our government should accept the blame.
They are only after IGR at the detriment of the citizens lifes and properties.


So many buildings on Lagos island need demolition, I don't know how they got approval to build such tiny buildings with no know space in between houses

More pics

hischoice:
Who else has noticed that nobody cares what religious affiliations Lagos state governors have?

Jagaban has got the bests of the bests, not ever minding which of the two Middle Eastern gods they pray to.

what is this one saying?

Sugar is DEAD!

https://www.tribuneonlineng.com/195339/

Ayoswit:
I don't really care to know anything about the car

100% here can't afford it. A person that can afford it presently won't be on Nairaland. That's more reason such companies don't advertise.

sincerlyyo:
Yewa lokan

APM kangaroo party... It won't last beyond this elections

Seyi Makinde is a person I know personally. I can vouch for him. He also has a legitimate oil and gas company in Lagos where I work. He caters well for his staff welfare and other needs.
He is the best person for the job. Trust me on this!

MacLovington:
Legend has it that Hausa traders have been there for ages. It supposedly came from that or something similar.

Alausa is not pronounced Al'hausa (meaning the one or the to place who/which bears hausa) it is actually Al'awusa (meaning the one or the place that bears Awusa) Awusa is Walnut in yoruba. I hope I'm clear! The name has got nothing to do with the hausas.

beylinko:
this result can never be true...massive Fraud is what this is called.

I strongly believe you

yrex01:
They'd soon b here and b consoling der cef with "na just 4% we needed from that side". Una go soon b humble !!

Sai baba all da way !!

your attached picture definitely said it all that you are still living in 2015.

By their words you shall know them...APC rumour mongers

Dont worry. Just be ready for the shock of your life soon!

iwaeda:
President Muhammadu Buhari has revealed what he will do if he loses the 2019 Presidential Elections on Saturday.
There is a footage of the President saying that he will stay back in his village in Daura, Katsina State if he fails to win the highly controversial Elections on Saturday, 23rd February 2018.


https://www.independent.ng/i-wont-return-to-aso-rock-if-i-lose-on-saturday-buhari/amp/

So said him that he would not contest again after the third time he lost against Jonathan in 2011. Believe in Buhari's word at your own peril!

DAYOODS:
Why the Marathon address ? Mr. President hardly addresses us like this . God bless Nigeria.

He's using everything within his power to reach voters and induce them to vote for him! Cunning man. He hardly addressed us even at the face of potential danger that could lead to war! It's election now that will bring him personal benefits he keeps addressing us everyday!

Dgunnerz:
Baba get our time to address us now... Wonderful!
May the best man win.

He is desperate to win. That's why he is hiding under the guise of address to induce voters!

afroniger:
I thought I warned you not to mention me anymore you lowlife piece of shyyt. You sound so condescending and foolish. No be your fault, but like I said earlier if you think you are thee shyt, I challenge you to embrace entrepreneurship and pay your fellow graduate a fat paycheck you dumb funk. Go and borrow a loan if you have to, and set up whatever business of your choosing, and then walk the talk by actually hiring and paying graduates a fat paycheck. Until you take up that challenge you are just talking crap like the dumb biitch [/b]you are.

If [b]you had any sense in you you would not talk shyt about me being an entrepreneur getting unemployed Nigerians off the streets. Your biitchh ass obviously knows absolutely nothing about running a business and the risk inherent in being an employer of labour who has to keep business running and handle payroll in the face of challenges, that is why you have the nerve to run your dirty mouth [/b]and try to dictate fat paychecks. Morafocka like you.

How many graduates have you uplifted in your sorry and [b]miserable life you stoopid prick? I am proud to be an employer of labour who pays above minimum wage daily to unemployed Nigerians who aren't afraid to earn a decent and honest buck. They would rather work than do Yahoo or beg. I am sure you are one of those that would rather see your fellow Nigerian beg than see them work as cleaners. Ain't no shame in my game, punk. Even conglomerates like Mcidees in the almighty u.s.a still pay minimum wage to their employees so what the funk are you yapping about how much I pay my workers?

For the last time your[b] biitchh ass [/b]better stay off my mention.

Americana, anyone that sees what I emboldened above in ur quoted submission would know I actually have no right to respond to you because by their fruits words you shall know them. NL admin might have to do some duties on you.
I bet you weren't expecting this much of a "crap" from an unemployable graduate like me...lol. Also, I wanted to respect your "dont-mention-me" appeal but how do I when there is a need not to ignore the article you took time to write, Sir.
Please, dont see this as an acerbic verbal attack on you. Just was clarifying things with you.

1. Nigerian graduates are not unemployable, Sir. I supported this with facts in our earlier dialogue.

2. Graduates dont necessarily have to taste denigrating jobs like road side cleaner to mold their character or learn the right attitude to work.

3. Because you have been abroad doesnt give you authority to look down on Nigerians and Africans in general.

4. It is quite unfortunate to see the level at which you hold your countrymen. If you do this how do we get the right perception in the world.

I think I am clear, Sir. This is my sole opinion which you have every right to reject but truth will always remain same.

Thanks for your time!

afroniger:
You don't get it, and you will never get it. Perhaps you should walk the talk by venturing unto entrepreneurship and then proceed to pay your graduate employees that above minimum wage fat paycheck you feel they are entitled to, But until then would you please shut the funck up and quit knocking the hustle of the real MVPs who aren't scared to get they hands dirty or beg to feed. And please do me a favour and quit mentioning me because I'm allergic to smarty pant punks. Thanks in advance.

The origin of the whole discuss is not fat pay unless you are saying the job of a road cleaner actually brings fat pay check.

Your business is not big enough so concentrate on it! If I may shock you I own my own store and I make sales and generate reasonable income as a side hustle. So, stop assuming you are off the scale (I can see it is in your DNA always assuming you are better than others).

I can see your level of reasoning and public communication. Do me a favor and learning where appropriate! Americana..Lol

afroniger:
You see, it's not your fault that you have this twisted orientation that you are exhibiting, really. I am an employer of labour myself, on a contractual basis, and pay 5 workers (+ one manager) no less than N1,500 on a daily basis, 6 days a week, and have lived in the united states for over a decade so I think I have the requisite exposure and therefore am very qualified to speak with some measure of authority on this subject.

Seems you are a product of a failed educational system that wrongly inculcates a sense of entitlement in you all in the name of obtaining a university education. Making you go through a university system that seldom equips you with any practical or marketable skills in preparation for the outside/real world, so much so that most Nigerian employers lament that Nigerian graduates are unemployable after graduation (ironically it is those same crop if graduates that exhibit this attitude of entitlement upon graduation).

And in actual fact, most Nigerian graduates still have to be retrained by their prospective employer before being trusted to perform on the job (this training comes at an extra cost to the employer). Meaning that fresh graduates are of little practical value to the average employer fresh out of the university system.

Get off your high horse and go learn a skill or become an entrepreneur yourself if you are really serious about adding value to yourself and society at large because society doesn't owe you a job just because you are a graduate.

Lol. That you have lived in America doesnt give you any authority on any subject as you claimed. It is your brain that you needs to function better!

I can read it all over you that the same mentality that people that are first to cross the Atlantic ocean in their families have is what you are speaking with. Most times they condescendingly look at people in Africa as plague. Mister, you are very WRONG!

If we, Nigerians, are product of failed system. Really? In your mouth too? In what way are you better?

Who blames a student for not having what to learn and not that he/she was not willing to learn it? In the first instance, he/she paid school fees for a purpose, so is it the student's fault that he/she wasnt trained as adequate as he/she should?

What you made look bad is that a Nigerian graduate was trained and learnt well? Is it not a pride to even have a trainable mind against all the odds in the system? As per CSR, the employers too as acted in complicity with government, suck milk out of the system and give nothing back (you will agree with me tat companies abroad dont do so). Now, that they are crying foul is what they need to look into for correction.

It is staggering that you subscribe to such a "junk".

In short words, I can tell you with authority that Egina FPSO is what you need to go see. Utorogu AG/NAG is another gas plant built by autochthonous Engineers. So, I wonder what made Nigerian Engineers unemployable.

I have worked with crops of professionals in my field both on Offshore and Onshore Engineering deliverables I dont know what I can actually refer that would make you feel not on par with your contemporaries around the world if you are well given to studies.

O boy, that you employ people that you paying a paltry sum of less than 10k per week is nothing to gallivant about in the real Nigerian environment. May be in your village, bro.

Moreso, if things were working well for you abroad as a cleaner or menial jobber that you were there, you wouldnt have been back in the midst of a failed system and people who you considered their graduates mediocres with your little good for nothing mind.

Receive Sense!

I have structural design calculations to complete!

9jaRealist:
With all due respect, the fact that you refer to an HONEST job as “denigrating” is a sad commentary.

Dude, it’s NEVER been the job that makes the man, but the content of the character within. Nothing earned honestly is denigrating. Someone like the billionaire Cosmas Maduka of Chroscharis started off hawking pears on the street and followed that up with an unpaid apprenticeship as a car mechanic. The work-ethic he learned from those days has carried him through his mega-successful life, so much so that he’s ended up a Harvard Business School graduate. The most seminal lesson about life is not where you start but where you end up.

While I agree with you on your closing statement but you need to see the light in the fact that right attitudes are not only learnt on the road side or in denigrating situations only.

Character moulding could be in other part places meant!

You are hand twisting argument out of context.

Coscharis did not hawk pears as a graduate. If I'm wrong, Kindly correct me!

We did not send graduates to school to come out and clean the road. If I'm wrong kindly correct me.

That's why society is stratified.

They are actually depriving better "qualified" cleaners of the job they were supposed to take by not thinking out of the box and making something bigger happen. No economy develops by sweeping the ground or cleaning the road only.

Work ethics could be learnt in other better and fit-for-purpose jobs, or must it be by being a road cleaner.

We are training our graduates not to clean roads. It is a national disaster!

9jaRealist:
NO job retards your so-called "thinking faculty" (unless perhaps it was not there to begin with ).

Many of our parents' generation when they first traveled abroad engaged in all kinds of menial jobs (janitorial, wiping ass in nursing homes, security guards, busing tables, etc.) until they were able to secure the credentials and/or certification for better jobs. EVERY job is a LEARNING experience, and if you are compelled to become a cleaner try to be the BEST darn cleaner there is. Not only will you develop great work habits but you just never know who is out there watching or whose path will cross with yours.

You don't necessarily have to build your attitude with denigrating items you called jobs, bro. There are many other dignifying means of achieving your out laid "learning experience". If you think hard you will discover there are other better ways of bettering your life than picturing abroad menial jobs as pleasant jobs to build your character with. Reach for the stars and stop living on a low mind. I detailed my experience with you but you generously skipped it as expected. Kindly rethink your process and you will get better for it.

9jaRealist:
NO job retards your so-called "thinking faculty" (unless perhaps it was not there to begin with ).

Many of our parents' generation when they first traveled abroad engaged in all kinds of menial jobs (janitorial, wiping ass in nursing homes, security guards, busing tables, etc.) until they were able to secure the credentials and/or certification for better jobs. EVERY job is a LEARNING experience, and if you are compelled to become a cleaner try to be the BEST darn cleaner there is. Not only will you develop great work habits but you just never know who is out there watching or whose path will cross with yours.

You don't necessarily have to build your attitude with denigrating items you called jobs, bro. There are many other dignifying means of achieving your out laid "learning experience". If you think hard you will discover there are other better ways of bettering your life than picturing abroad menial jobs as pleasant jobs to build your character with. Reach for the stars and stop living on a low mind. I detailed my experience with you but you generously skipped it as expected. Kindly rethink your process and you will get better for it.

afroniger:
You are a perfect poster boy for the entitlement mentality I spoke about. Nobody owes you any job with a fat paycheck just because you have a university degree or simply because you are a graduate. Not in Nigeria, not anywhere else. But if you think you deserve a fat paycheck then go ahead and create opportunities for yourself rather than sitting on your ass waiting for savy entrepreneurs to go through the grind of building their successful businesses just so you can stroll in and take a plum position in their company simply because you are a graduate. The world has evolved beyond that my guy so you better wake up and smell the coffee. The Masters degree of today is the Bsc of yesterday because there are way too many degreed graduates than there are jobs to absorb them so quit flattering yourself by looking down on those that are realistic and not too proud enough to get something doing to earn a decent living.

I know graduate females who drive 'hazardous' keke napep today and are taking home no less han 5k per day and meeting their financial needs while other able-bodied glorified graduates are still roaming the streets or sitting at home lamenting and sulking about lack of jobs as if anybody owes them a job. Like seriously.

If you really feel entitled to that great job with a fat pay because you a graduate then be man enough to CREATE that job and pay yourself what you feel you deserve, because nobody owes you a job my friend.

On a fact check. How many job creators do we have? Even in the countries you would like to use as reference. If we all create jobs who will now do the created jobs. And if what you called entitlement mentality is when someone gets qualified, get hired and delivering quality service then you need a rethink. In my opinion you have committed no crime if you render quality service and get paid for it. Stop glorifying a failed system!

I use to hold this man at high esteem before now. There is a difference between death sentence (which is even inappropriate) to ballot box snatchers and the President’s order of shoot at sight. If this man don't know, let's help him. Sir, numerous things may go wrong shooting at sight.
1. It's not only ballot box snatchers that will be at polling centers
2. Polling centers are always situated in areas with teeming population for ease access. Expect missed targets or misfire or straying bullets. Even execution grounds/shooting ranges where the shooting is even more coordinated is never situated amidst busy areas but isolated places

5thElement:
I'm sure he will rule the internet well.

Omo you're crazy �

afroniger:
And what is wrong with being a cleaner? There are barely enough jobs to go around yet some people are looking down on some type of jobs. Smh. Nigerians and their entitlement mentality. Una no mind to go do cleaner work and other so-called 'dirty' jobs abroad in spite of all una university degrees but here in Nigeria una go dey form. There is dignity in honest labour biko. It's better to work as a cleaner and work your way into something bigger and better than be crying about being jobless and hungry.

----
And for the rest of you mentioning me and talking crap, y'all are free to stay/remain broke while complaining about being jobless and still eating your parents' food as unemployed glorified graduates, waiting for that 'befitting' job that will never come while you grow gray hairs in your father's house. Na your choice but don't come here knocking other folks that are more pragmatic about the job market and are ready and not too proud to work to earn a living no matter how small.

I cringed at your mention of "entitlement mentality" in your article quoted above. Is this what you called that?
Well that aside...

You clearly forgot that some jobs are better left than taken else they shut down your thinking faculty apart from other grave hazards attached to being on the road with little or no safety gadgets to avoid accidents.
When I was jobless I quickly started teaching. From one tutorial to the other. IJMB to SSCE/JAMB to Cambridge exam prep class to private tutoring. I did this to free up my time with enough flexibility to look for other means while the former suffices.
Graduate shd think out better alternatives than taking up hazardous road cleaning jobs. Arrant nonsense

SIRTee15:
Oga a graduate isn't trained to be a cleaner...
Be it naija or USA....
It's called underemployment and it's a sign of slow growth and lack of economic opportunity....
Why should someone waste 4 years of his life if he knew the certificate is only worthy to secure a cleaner job....

Now u mentioned dignity in labour....
That's statement doesn't exist in nigeria....
It's only valid when the wage in such labour is enough to take u home and meet your needs....
In developed countries where minimum wage ensures a sufficient basic pay, then u can talk of dignity in labour....

What's dignity in a graduate earning 21,000 a month...
Nonsense....

Dude forgot that some jobs are better left than taken else they shut down your thinking faculty apart from other grave hazards attached to being on the road with little or no safety gadgets to avoid accidents.
When I was jobless I quickly started teaching. From one tutorial to the other. IJMB to SSCE/JAMB to Cambridge exam prep class to private tutoring. I did this to free up my time with enough flexibility to look for other means while the former suffices.
Graduate shd think out better alternatives than taking up hazardous road cleaning jobs. Rank nonsense

Dust to dust