₦airaland Forum

A quick nugget for you folks, especially the cute simps...

Italian Relationship:
1st day= Sex
2nd day= Sex again.

French Relationship:
1st day = movies & kiss
2nd day = Sex
3rd day = Sex again

British Relationship:
1st day= hangout & kiss
2nd day = kiss & hug
3rd day= kissing, hug and smooching
4th day = sex and more sex

American Relationship:
1st day= Date
2nd day= Hug
3rd day= Hug again (warmly)
4th day= Kiss
5th day= Long kiss
6th day= Sex

Nigeria Relationship:
1st day= Toast
2nd day= Toast
3rd day= Toast again
4th day= Agree
5th day= Date
6th day= Date again
7th day= Date again with three of her hungry friends or cousins.
8th day= Date & Hug
9th day= Tried to peck but failed.
10th day = Peck
11th day= Tried to kiss but failed.
12th day= kiss.
13th day= Long kiss.
14th day= Tried to have sex but failed.
15th day= Tried to have sex but quarrelled
16th day= Didn't talk to each other.
17th day= Malice till the next day.
18th day= The man called but the woman didn't pick.
19th day= The man called, the woman picked and asked: "what is it?"
The man apologized and she replied: "Leave me alone, am not your type of girl".
The man continued to beg till the next day.
20th day= The woman accepted the unwarranted apology.
21st day= Hug.
22nd day= Long hug.
23rd day= Kiss.
24th day= Long kiss.
25th day= Tried to have sex but the woman complains that pastor saw a vision that she will get pregnant
26th day= Tried to have sex but the woman said until he buys the phone.
27th day= Tried to have sex but the woman asked: "where is the phone? You are not serious, call me when you are serious".
28th day= "R@pe".
29th day= Police case.

Story end

Wetin carry bros go Casablanca?

Sometimes it's hard to understand exactly what women want in a relationship, this man is clearly in pain after finding out his girlfriend is a sex worker. According to him, his girlfriend told him she's having exams and she needed to go for night study which wasn't the case as she was found standing at a hook-up corner waiting for the next available customer.


https://youtube.com/shorts/zFScFNq91RA?feature=share

This is an appeal to all old and newbie Yahoo boys. Please you guys should be calming down, at least allow us (non-yahoo men) to keep our girlfriends, allow our girlfriends to appreciate our own little efforts... We know say una get money pass us... But we still dey try.

Yahoo boys Don make 100k hair-wig be like 500 naira. Our babes don dey make expensive demands because of Yahoo boys spendings on their babes.


Yahoo boys made stock jean trouser cost for market. To change wardrobe now na wahala.


Abeg Yahoo boys, make una dey price market Abeg. Make una no dey dash these girls money again.

I never marry because of Yahoo boys, any babe wey enter my eye, na so Yahoo boys go use money collect am.


Yahoo boys Abeg... Make una pipe down small

Sometimes I remember how I carried myself on that day and I'm left with mixed feelings. I was only 11 and naive, I was my dad's favourite kid... But I preferred my mum better than my dad. My mum was there every time I was in need. She provided everything I need from birth till this very moment.

Though I was my dad's favourite kid, but he beats the hell out of me with reckless abandon, sometimes it's difficult to understand the reason why he beat me so badly, my dad may be having a bad day and will choose to release his rage on his family.

...to be continued

muyico:
I quoted u b4! morning 🌟 is a title and there is throne assign to it,, after Lucifer rebel, he was chase from heaven to pit of earth, so the throne and title was given to Jesus Christ bcus he defeat him! revelation 22:16!

This is the funniest piece I've read on nairaland since 2005

Dsimmer:
You're rather dumb

Are you confused or what?

SayGod:
son of light

Are you confused or what?

Dsimmer:
Lucifer means son of light or morning star. That was what was used to describe Human who are the image of God.

That was why the scripture says "oh Lucifer, how are that fallen, you son of morning star". That particular scripture was talking about the Hebrews/Isrealites when they sinned but on a larger scale, it was also talking about the fall of the first man. Hence, the coming of Jesus represented the first man on earth thus the need to fulfill the law which has no mercy, therefore, he had to die to pay the price of the sinner or the sin of the first man. However, he triumphed over the law by his resurrection. Thus meaning mercy abounds for everyone because if Jesus could obtain mercy after representing the sinner at the face of the law which has no mercy, then mercy abounds for everyone in the face of the law because it's now Jesus who justifies. That was why it was stated that Jesus paid the price of the sinner. However, it doesn't mean one should continue to do evil because sooner or later, you will reap it. Just like Paul stated, "you can't continue in sin yet expect grace to abound"

Are you confused or what?

SayGod:
son of light

what verse?

SayGod:
simply because he is lucifer

And who did the English Bible refer to as 'Lucifer'?

muyico:
the throne Lucifer is occupying b4 in heaven, but chased out from heaven, Jesus Christ is occupying d title and throne now! read revelation 22 till end

What throne, where did you get that information?

Read: https://www.worldhistory.org/William_Tyndale/

Who was Williams Tyndale? Was he the first one to translate the Bible, not King James, into English?
Tyndale gave us the third English translation of the Bible. King James authorized the 12th English translation. Here is a brief synopsis of each:

1. Wyclif’s Bible, Early Version EV (1380) by John Wycliffe. Wycliffe’s first version is a literal word for word translation of the Vulgate for use in canon law. Translated by Henry Hargreaves, John Purvey, and other followers of John Wycliffe.

2. Wycliffe’s Bible, Late Version LV (1388) by John Wycliffe. Wycliffe’s second translation used a meaning for meaning translation, rather than word for word. This effort to translate the Bible into English for the common believer defied church authorities. Later his bones were exhumed and posthumously burned along with copies of his translation.

3. Tyndale Bible (1526) by William Tyndale. Tyndale continued Wycliffe’s defiance of church authorities with this first New Testament in English, printed at Worms. (Wycliffe’s Bibles were hand-written, not printed.) Tyndale translated Erasmus’s Greek New Testament while using Luther’s German translation for reference. Tyndale’s order of the New Testament followed that of Martin Luther, who set apart Hebrews, James, Jude, and Revelation. The Lord Chancellor, Thomas More, attacked Tyndale’s New Testament as heretical. Tyndale translated most of the Old Testament before his execution for heresy on October 6, 1536.

4. Coverdale Bible (1535) by Myles Coverdale. Coverdale translated the Bible from German and Latin. It was the first complete Bible printed in English and it had the informal approval of King Henry VIII. Coverdale’s Bible was the first in English to set apart the Apocrypha as an appendix following the Luther’s example. Today Tyndale and Coverdale are honored with religious publishing houses in their name.

5. Matthew’s Bible (1537) by Thomas Matthew. Matthew is probably the penname for John Rogers, a follower of Tyndale. Matthew’s Bible was the first in English printed with royal license. It included the “Prayer of Manasseh” for the first time in English. Matthew’s Bible essentially was the same as Tyndale’s Bible, but Tyndale was still considered a heretic.

6. Great Bible or Whitchurch Bible (1539) by Myles Coverdale. Thomas Cromwell contracted with Coverdale to produce a new Bible, revising the Matthew Bible. It restored the New Testament order of the Vulgate rather than Luther’s order. In 1546, King Henry VIII proclaimed that all copies of Tyndale’s Bible and Coverdale’s Bible were to be burned, leaving the Great Bible as the only official Bible allowed by the church and the king.

7. Taverner’s Bible (1539) by Richard Taverner. Taverner revised Matthew’s Bible using a more accurate collated Greek New Testament. He listed four books of Kings, rather than 1 & 2 Samuel and 1 & 2 Kings. His sponsor was Thomas Cromwell. While his scholarship was good, Tavernor fell out of favor when Cromwell lost his position.

8. Becke’s Bible (1551) by Edmune Becke. Becke merged Taverner’s Old Testament and Tyndale’s New Testament. While Tyndale’s New Testament was well written, Tyndale’s name was considered scandalous. The popularity of Becke’s Bible quickly faded to the popularity of the Geneva Bible and the Bishop’s Bible.

9. Geneva Bible (1560) by William Whittingham. The New Testament was produced in 1557 and the Old Testament in 1560. Considered the Bible of the Protestant Reformation, it was inspired by John Knox and John Calvin. Whittingham began a fresh translation from the Greek while others began a fresh translation of the Old Testament. Tyndale provided an overall guide. This version became very popular for Protestants in England and Europe. Because of fear of persecution, the Protestant sponsors published it in Switzerland. The use of chapter and verse numbers was first seen in a printed Bible in the Geneva Bible. Rabbi Nathan made the Old Testament divisions in 1448. Robert Estienne made the New Testament divisions in 1555.

10. Bishop’s Bible (1568) by Matthew Parker. To compete with the Geneva Bible, Archbishop Matthew Parker edited a thorough revision of the Great Bible using the more accurate Greek texts used by the Geneva Bible.

11. Douay-Rheims Bible (1609) by George Martin. The New Testament was published at Rheims in 1582, and the Old Testament was published at Douay in 1609. This translation of the Vulgate included extensive notes arguing the Catholic perspective in the face of the Protestant revolt. This became the official Catholic translation until the 20th century.

12. King James Version KJV (1611) edited and translated by Richard Bancroft, Lancelot Andrewes, Edward Lively, John Harding, Thomas Ravid, William Barlow, and John Duport, with William Bedwell, Richard Clark, Geoffrey King, John Layfield, John Overall, Hadrian a Saravia, Richard Thompson, Robert Tighe, Roger Andrews, Andrew Bing, Laurence Chadderton, Thomas Harrison, John Richardson, Robert Spalding, Richard Brett, Richard Fairclough, Thomas Holland, Richard Kilby, John Reynolds, Miles Smith, George Abbott, John Aglionby, Richard Eedes, John Harmer, James Montague, John Perin, Ralph Ravens, Sir Henry Savile, Giles Thomson, William Dakins, Roger Fenton, Ralph Hutchinson, Michael Rabbert, Thomas Sanderson, John Spencer, John Boys, William Branthwaite, Andrew Downes, Jeremiah Radcliffe, Robert Ward, and Samuel Ward. Completed by 48 scholars under the authority of the Church of England and the newly crowned King James. The translators consulted with the following English versions: Bishops’ Bible, Tyndale’s Bible, Matthew’s Bible, Coverdale’s Bible, The Great Bible or Whitchurch’s Bible, and the Geneva Bible. Unlike the previous translations, editorial notes were forbidden. Previously, such notes had been used to advance theological agenda, which lead to those translations being burned. It is still one of the best selling and most popular English translations available. Despite the fact that more accurate Greek and Hebrew texts have become available since 1611, fans of this translation are legion. The original King James Version included the Catholic Apocrypha.

I've got my reservations about the English Bible, I don't know if it's a tool of manipulation by some kings and rulers of the ancient British kingdom. I have done deep research on the subject matter and have discovered that the move by translators of the Greek Bible to English is shrouded with a lot of secrets and politics, starting with the execution of the English translator of the Bible William Tyndale by King Henry VIII after he tagged Tyndale's translation as Heresy. (more emphasis in comment section)

Read: 2nd Peter 1 vs 19 of the Latin Bible...

Latin: et habemus firmiorem propheticum sermonem cui bene facitis adtendentes quasi lucernae lucenti in caliginoso loco donec dies inlucescat et lucifer oriatur in cordibus vestris

Google Translate: and we have a firmer prophetic message to which you are doing well, attending to it like a lamp shining in a dark place until the day dawns and the lucifer rises in your hearts

English Bible: 2 Peter 1:19 in Other Translations

19 • Because of that experience, we have even greater confidence in the message proclaimed by the prophets. You must pay close attention to what they wrote, for their words are like a lamp shining in a dark place—until the Day dawns, and Christ the Morning Star shines in your hearts.

Adewale1603:
true because gsm/ cellphones came into Nigeria around 2000 or 2001

read the caption again

PointZerom:
All these phones were not used in Nigeria in 1999.

do some research bob...it's risky assuming...

Remember I said those born withing 1979 to 1999.

Read to understand. Okay!!!

I've used all !!!

Indomie generation cannot relate

Lemmyler:
God forgives people of their sins if they ask for it sincerely. However, the consequences of our actions still catch up with us most times. Using the case of David(a man after God's heart) as example, God forgave him of his sin against Uriah but he still faced the consequence of his action.

define forgiveness... If I still use your wrong doing towards me against you after you have forgiven me, of what use is the forgiveness

soccerlite:
Which verse is this?

Matthew 26 26 52

Aboks:
Forgiveness is sure but you must suffer for it

even king david God forgave him, but he suffered the consequences of his actions

so of what use is forgiveness?

The complete chapters of the Bible gave no insights or notes about 'karma'... Though the term 'karma' is from the Janism, Hindu and Buddhist religion, but everyone believes in it strongly... Maybe the Bible insinuated it when Christ said "He who kill by the sword, will die by the sword"... " What a man sows, he reaps"...

If we all agree with this (karma) why then do we ask God for forgiveness?

Can one commit a sin and be completely forgiven by God and free from consequences?


Kindly help me with your insights. Thanks

SIMPonPatrol:
According to African culture a child born under a man's roof is automatically his child, you guys need to stop disturbing yourselves with this DNA test nonsense

fine. At least it's still important to know if wifey is cheating

Mynd44 Nlfpmod Abeg make una help me loud this thread... I need help. Thanks

Paternity fraud is not a new trend with today's women, each time I see my friend and his kids I see the odd differences between his son and the rest of the kids... The boy doesn't look like his siblings or parents. Do I tell him to run a paternity check? Or I just mind my business?


What do you think? Suggestions and advice are welcomed, feel free to insult the OP if you can't help it. Thanks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OU2gakX2ncc

Human right Activist and commentator Femi Falana, SAN Recalls Oshiomhole's Strange Confidence Before His Governorship Election

Mynd44 Nlfpmod

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZY6pVQ-gPCA

Neuralink, Elon Musk’s brain-technology company, posted a video Wednesday that identified what the company said was the first patient to use its electronic brain implant in a clinical trial, saying he was able to move a cursor on a computer screen with his thoughts.

It would be another milestone for the company, which received approval last year from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to conduct a trial of its electronic brain implant in people.

In the video, posted on Musk’s social media site X, the 29-year-old patient said that his name was Noland Arbaugh and that he had become paralyzed from the shoulders down after a diving accident about eight years ago. Arbaugh said he loved playing chess, and the video appeared to show him moving the cursor to play computer chess.

The Washington Post could not independently verify the claims made in the video. Neuralink did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Neuralink’s device and rival products are designed to read brain activity to decipher what movement a person intends to make, then run a command to execute that action. Arbaugh said initially he practiced attempting to move his hand until it became intuitive to imagine moving the cursor.

“Basically, it was like using the Force on the cursor,” he said in the video, making an apparent reference to Star Wars, adding that he has used the implant to play a video game as well.

Kip Ludwig, co-director of the Wisconsin Institute for Translational Neuroengineering, pointed out that rival firms such as BlackRock and Synchron have previously demonstrated that paralyzed patients are able to use their implants to control electronic devices. Still, he said, Neuralink’s wireless technology is a step forward.

“Though it’s not a clear breakthrough compared to what others have shown previously yet, it’s certainly a good starting point,” Ludwig said.

The video of Arbaugh comes nearly three years after Neuralink posted a video showing a monkey playing Pong with its mind. (The company has come under fire for its treatment of animals in developing its brain implant).

Neuralink isn’t the first company to introduce an electronic implant that allows a person to move a cursor by thinking about it. Synchron, a rival, is developing a stent-like device that rests atop the brain’s motor cortex and has enabled patients to type messages using their thoughts, sometimes assisted by eye-tracking software.

Neuralink has taken a more invasive approach in the hopes that it will transfer data from the brain to the computer faster than rival technologies. The company has said it uses a robotic device to sew an electrode-laden computer chip into the surface of the brain. Musk has said that the initial application of the device is to help paralyzed patients recover function, but he also envisions it one day enhancing the capabilities of healthy people.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2024/03/20/neuralink-patient-livestream-implant-noland-arbaugh/