₦airaland Forum

Good joke men

Thanks a million 13 volts

Thats a good one

I have done so and honestly it works especially if you on the moon.

Man u tried o. I laugh so the I forgot my name.

Nice one. Need more of this

The two children enter d boat to other side. One bting back d boat to d parent. Daddy cross d boat to other side. The chirld at other end bring back d boat o first side. The two children take d boat to other side. One brings d boat to where mama is. She take d boat to other side. The child at other side take boat back to first side. D two children take d boat to meet d parent.

Yeah.this funny

This funny and creative

Yoruba said ORO TOKUN TONTERIN. Very sad but accompanied with laughter.

nice jokes all the way.

Thanks so much Efe. I enjoy ur jokes. They make my day.

A couple from America went together with wife’s mother to Jerusalem on vacation. The old woman developed sickness and died. The husband was told of consequences of either to carry the deadbody back to America or to bury it in Jerusalem. The cost to America is $35,000 and to bury in Jerusalem is $2,700.
The man opted to move the body to America. The mortuary attendant was surprised and said ‘you must have love your mother in-law so dearly to have wanted to spend so much’
The man replied. ‘Look this not a matter of love. I heard story of a man here about 2000 years ago that died and rose up the third day. I just don’t’ want that to happen to her’

How would I not be winning HO task if mantee is given answer scripts of my fellow Nairalanders and asked to mark them. I would not show the scripts to the viewers so nobody would know actual scores. Our Biggie (Seun) would then ask me who scored the highest. I will say MANTEE.
TK can't be HO always. We will get him one day,

Tampico yuo are welcome. Can't wait for your reports and analysis. LC ,thanks I don't need to go anywhere since you are there for all of us that are lovers of BB3 on nairaland. Spora, Spora, Spora! I called you three times. No answer! OK Sorry Spora1 please try something so that we can all smile small , missing your funny side of analysis. Lets support UTI our homeboy.

Thank God, LC and the new Spora called Spora1 are now getting active. I will be a bit more delightful if they can 'advertise' BB3 on this thread and limit the business discussion to yahoo chat or mail. Abi? Salsera I no speak well?

Chei I don die. LC hit by job and can't write as before, Tampico out of touch, Spora has undegone a metamorphosis to become Spora1 (coutersy of Seun) and hence a passive Nairalander. Mantee can only read can't write a report as required by Seun.
Adechuks, Salsera etc what can we do arrest this situation?

Thanks LC, Tampico etc for your analysis.  Please where is Spora.  I am missing his Funny  side of reporting.

Yes God is for all religions
God has no name except the name you what to call Him according to your faith and religion.

Death is like abandoning your old suit after u discovered that it is longer useful to u. To know what’s happen after death, study a school program for its students. A school normally has a uniform. The student obtains a uniform, decides to attend the school. Learned and tested. If he passed he is promoted if not he repeats.
This world called earth is your school. Your uniform is your physical body now. You will discard it after it is no longer useful to u. U will go home (heaven, astral planes, spirit world whatever name u what). Your real self is your spirit which inhabits your physical body. After death u will leave your physical body on earth and your spirit goes home.
In Spirits’ world you will be met by those that are of close frequency or in harmony with u. They will help u adjust to the conditions of your home because earth environment makes spirit to forget its ‘home’ while on earth. These spirits will help u to know whether u pass your school exam (allotted task) or not. This is by making u remember your initial aim of going down to earth and also to see your past life on earth. Please note nobody judges you, you judge yourself.
Depending on the degree of your spiritual evolution (grade u had in your school) if u passed (accomplished your task) u will move to next class which could be more tasks on earth (or another physical world) or residing at higher astral plane for a meanwhile.

Yes Oga Olabowale. I was refereing to political sharia not real Islamic Sharia that has been in existence in Nigeria.

Thats u spora. love the way u take up issue in a lighter mood. Yes sharia issue was political. It is sick now. In a year or so it will die, then bury before the end of this adminstration. It may bounce back if we have another Christian as president

There was no way we could have defeated Ivorian team yesterday. Please mention a player among out team that could match current record of Drogba, Kalou or even Eboue. What could have worked out for us is team spirit which is a bit lacking. Aggressive upfront could have help too. Again this we lack. Whats left for us is to fight like wounded lion, forget the free flowing pathern and be aggressive in attacking and be cordinated in the midfield and defence.

I thonk this Yelwa riot is political.

I have a personal experience with EFCC. My conclusion about them is that they do their work diligently without compromise at first. They investigate and know exact true. No guess work. They always tried to avoid court if the case is between two parties with no crime intent like in my case. At no time bribe was mentioned but there was a[i]ppreciation [/i] though at the end.

The answer is NO and YES. No if your ideal of Christianity is for born-again and Jesus is only way stuff. Yes if you evolved spiritually to know that Christ is the image one has to develop to make heaven. An evolved being can not differentiate one religion to another and cannot make a difference from one prophet to another. When one has attained Christ consciousness he sees Christ everywhere he turned to for he knows that Christ is everywhere. He does not judge non does he condemn somebody.
Evolvement in Spirit does not mean adherence to tenets of one particular religion although religion is set up to help human being to attain Christ consciousness, being Hindu or Buddhism or Islam. Let everybody rejoice. God has not condemned anyone. One day you will attain that stage where you will know Christ in real term not has been portrayed. You will be surprised that a Sango worshipper has attained Christ consciousness and a pastor that’s claiming miracles has not. You will also be surprised that you do not need heaven but GOD himself that created everything

How Tatiana become HOH
From mnet web site

“Ofunneka is the first to hug Tatiana when it becomes obvious that Tatiana made the most hits”
Tatiana is the new Head of House. Taking her shots, she has16 hits out of 20, making her the Housemate with the highest number of hits. She becomes the Head of House for the second time

After an argument session on who goes first, Richard is the first up and he scores 10 hits. Next is the Angolan Housemate [Tatiana] who makes 16 hits in a record time. On the overall, Code is the closest to Tatiana with 15 hits. Maureen has 11 hits while Ofunneka manages to make 10 hits.

At the end of the Task, Ofunneka is the first to hug Tatiana when it becomes obvious that Tatiana made the most hits. Code looks at Tatiana, smiles and says "You are a soldier

To all
too busy to make comment but I enjoy all your posts.  Thanks all
Mantee

Tatiana is the new HOH. LC pls whats the implication of this on Ofun

From a post

Goose Bay (SA) said:
he last Five. Who will Win??

Ofunneka

A very bright well educated sophisticated girl with high morals. Intelligent, quick on the pickup and uses her brain. Thinks before she makes decisions and is loyal to all her friends. She is not underhand or nasty and does not scheme to hurt other people. She does not forgive people who scheme about her friends. She is soft and can get hurt if people she trusts let her down. A highly principled girl who is as valuable in the home as she is outside it, a quality not found in many.
Loves a party and can enjoy herself with the best dancing and singing.
A strong contender for the last 3 in BB and a potential winner.

Richard

What you see is what you get. This boy tells it as he sees it.
His biggest problem is that he does not have the command of English that some of the others have. Highly intelligent and well educated but unsophisticated and inexperienced in the ways of the big city. He is a person who is close to the earth and a rural way of life.
He is very naive in that he seldom sees or believes that those he knows can be nasty and devious. He trusts people. He would be a friend for life and give you the shirt off his back or his last piece of bread.
Not afraid and will meet his problems face to face.
This boy has a very soft heart and feels deeply. He did not ask to fall in love with Tati. It happened and as we all know, the human can love more than one person at a time. Because he feels so deeply this is causing him a huge amount of pain. He is not a 'player'.
Loves a party but tends to get a little stupid when he drinks too much. A funloving person who sees not evil in others. He is as naughty as hell and loves teasing people. This, due to language problems, has got him into trouble at times. He has given viewers great entertainment.
A really nice guy who is also a strong contender for the last 3 in BB. Could be a potential winner.

Tatianna

A very sensitive, gentle loving girl filled with the joy of being alive. Sadly, at a great disadvantage to the other housemates due to her poor command of English. Something that some of the more nasty, vicious housemates and viewers have taken advantage of and have used to get at her. I have not doubt that all of them would prove to be total idiots if they were forced to speak in Portuguese. A brave girl to go into the BB house with a poor knowledge of English.
A girl that has never been nasty or connived with others to sink the other housemates. She has never been underhand and has proved trusting to a fault.
Well educated and traveled, she is sophisticated in the ways of city life and is a wonderful entertainer whose sunny disposition will always keep a smile on your face.
With Richard and Ofunneke definitely the most interesting people to watch in the BB House. They keep us going all the time. Great viewing!
She feels deeply for others and is not a person who would scheme for the downfall of those she knows. Knows what she wants in life and can be a little bossy at times without meaning to be so.
She too did not ask to fall in love in the house. This is happened and we can only hope that things will somehow work out happily for all involved.
Sadly, this love story has been beautiful to watch and those who understand love will be deeply touched by it as we are.
A strong contender for the final three and potential winner.


Code

A nice guy who is unfortunately a little weak in that he lends to be led by the nose on occasion. He started off with the Lerato group and was involved in some rather nasty conniving and scheming with them at times. Then joined up with Maureen which resulted in his joining the Ofunneka side.
A very likable guy, well versed in the ways of the city, and I think, quite a player as far as the girls are concerned. I can’t make up my mind as to whether he is with her for his convenience or if he really loves her.
Very lazy and avoids work when ever possible. Mostly he does what he has to. Spends a great deal of time on his back with Maureen.
He is fun loving and speaks well due to his radio experience.
His relationship with Maureen is unusual. He has told her that he loves her but as a watcher I get the impression that it is more for convenience than true love. This certainly id so as far a Maureen is concerned after having listened to her And Ofunneka’s chat this morning.
Unfortunately he has tended to be a poor entertainer and rather boring due to spending too much time sucking face with Maureen.
He has a very slight chance of being in the final three.


Maureen

A little mouse of a girl with a very good brain. Well educated and traveled and speaks well. She was particularly good on the subject of Aids and really impressed all who listened. A very pretty attractive young lady.
She is a very clean young lady who spends a great deal of time grooming her self in front of the mirror. In fact she is very mirror conscious watching her self with admiration all the time. She dresses well and always looks good.
I have often worried about her mind balance, especially when excited, when she tends to scream and acts just like a monkey. She talks to her self continuously and when in dialogue with someone natters on and on, repeating herself again and again resulting in becoming a total bore.
Bertha saw through her long before I did. I always respected her as fair, honest rather timid young lady who was overawed by the stronger housemates.
However since Bertha left she has changed to a cleaver scheming little minx. Her strategy clearly came to light. She stared by trying to poison Tati against Richard and Ofunneka against Tati. Code against Richard with venom and poison dripping from her mouth. All of a sudden she became a worker in the house going out of her way to impress the viewers. She seems to think that she will win the money.
Her love for sitting and lying all over Code picking at his face, hair and nostrils as if looking for lice is extremely irritating and disgusting. Her incessant muttering is most boring.
For Code’s sake I hope he is not in love with her. After her discussion with Ofunneka this morning I get the impression that she is using him. This girl is a very clever schemer and actor. Hopefully the public are wise to her.
While she may reach the last 3 she has no chance of being the winner.

Yeah I could not really remember doing bad thing while in secondary school. I attended Ojoku Grammar School, Ojoku Offa, Kwara State. There is however what my mates called JUNGLE DROP, that is abandoning school premises through bush path to avoid participating in Manual Labour, punishments etc. There is another we called HELP OUT, that is whispering answers to each other during examinations. Less I forget, had a lot of G. friends right from form 2 but was only shown how to do it properly in form 5 by MOJ. Any Ojokuites out there. Call 08023453304

redsun,
U have said it all. There is no mystery except the one our minds cannot interpret or comprehend. Everything is alive and evolving. I say everything.