Thane:




Good you have gotten advice. But Bros pls, can you introduce me to your business, i beg of you. You can reach via 07032909591

Kweensavvy:
This is what happens when you have a very possessive father. He thinks he owns you and can dictate who you should spend your life with and when. Some parents can make like so miserable for their children. When they push them to suicide, they'll start shedding crocodile tears. Oga follow your heart. Your dad will come around. Afterall i doubt his own parents restricted him this much.

adekaden:
Dear OP,
After reading your write up, I have two questions for:
- are you richer than your dad?
- I want to confirm if he has been controlling your life before now.
Thank you

megareal:

He skipped some link words but from my understanding, his mum passed away last year or previous. The first excuse was that he couldn't get married so soon after his Mum's death and he waited......

Sam2310:
according to OP. She passed away last year February.
Marriage26, na so ba?

donfeluche:
if truely you are a Christian read this verse( Act 5:29) since your dad has no other reasonable reason's to give you, please go ahead with your wedding the only person that can stop or you will fear is God Almighty, and as far as you are doing exactly what he ask you to do in the Holy scripture, please go ahead with your plans. impregnating a girl b4 marriage makes your child a bastard. believe it or not, if you get married and your wife can not get pregnant there are other modern means to get her pregnant. Be strong, be courageous and above all put your trust in God not in mortals, that have tendencies to disappoint at any given time

Phonix16:

OP get her pregnant we igbo's do it alot n ur Dad will bless ur union

deltateam:


I respect your faith but the issue is that many people rush into marriage without thinking of some scenarios first.

Remember its for better for worse. In a situation you marry and didn't have children (God forbid).

I hope you won't be disappointed. You may plan ahead for adoption.

ZIMDRILL:


sorry am not nigerian

what is the meaning of the last word?

in post your said she passed early this unless am failing to understand pigin

CASHCOW247:
I have almost similar issue to this, but my mum is still alive and she has given her approval.

I am set to go ahead with my wedding with or without my fathers approval.

People here keep talking about fathers blessings, so what about people that don't have fathers, so they are doomed. Let's grow up and face realities.

Even Abraham that became a blessing to all, there is no way recorded that he got is fathers blessings.

@OP, seek Gods approval and blessings. That is all you need to succeed in you life and in you marriage.

ZIMDRILL:


i think you are missing key things he said that makes it that the boy is driven by desire to marry due the fact that also for 7 years he hasnt slept with her

he "says mom passed away early this year right?"

then he informs family that he once to marry

the key word is mom passes away early this year roughly between jan-feb this is towards end of april meaning we got only march between early this year (jan-feb)

his father said wait for a year, if his father was giving him excuses after a year passed then we would say the father is wrong

we havent even reached half way march of the year and he thinks his father is being stubborn i dont think so

may be that how you do it nigeria am
a non nigeria

tosyne2much:
Judging from one side of the story, I think the OP is a rebellious child (to some extent). Although you don't need anybody's rules or validation on how to live your life but you need to be very careful when it comes to a delicate issue like this

However, no matter how bad you think your father is, he will always remain your father and you need to be mindful of how you drag an issue like this with him.

From your story, it's obvious you're in a rush to marry that girl probably because she gave you an ultimatum which is the reason why you probably label your dad so bad

Anyway it's your life and your decision to make but one thing you should avoid is creating enmity between you and your dad because of your supposed girlfriend

Wisdom is needed to deal with a delicate issue like this not necessarily violence or rebellion

megareal:
If your Pastor has real spiritual authority, see him and plead with him to stand in for you as your father. He will also need to pray ahead and curtail every curse or spiritual manipulations that may be targeted at you after the act.

In addition, check out your father's spiritual stance, he may not be who he says he is. No man that will not be pleased that his son wants to bring him honor by marrying properly. He may want to frustrate the girl out of your life, they may have been a spiritual covenant that he doesn't want you to break viz a viz, marrying properly before sex and babies.

I also hope you know your girl's stance, spiritually and morally to avoid future regrets.

Finally, pray, pray and pray. You will get victory through prayers. Don't forget to involve your Pastor every step of the way.

chidekings:
Even without hearing his fathers side,Op clearly has issues.
Wants to get married the same year your mum died,
Absconds from nysc while he can easily have redeployed,
Makes seven figures a year and thinks he is very ok to marry at 26.
OP look inwards,your father means the best for you

baby124:
Did your father give you a reasonable time as to when it will be ok for you to get married? Maybe he cannot afford a wedding yet as we know burials are expensive. We also know that you probably plan on asking him for support for your wedding. If he said you should give a Year then give a year. He just lost his wife and he’s probably not going to be at his best emotionally and financially for a wedding. As long as the time frame of his request is reasonable I think you should wait.

NIKEDEEDS:


Bro... This is the way forward.

Agree with your father...
Make him believe ur wife is pregnant already (all it will cost you is a fake pregancy test and some whatsapp text messages from your girlfriend)...
Make sure dat some of ur inlaws are part of d plan (those dat u trust with d plan) while u leave d rest to response in d natural way dey ought ...
Then make plan plans 4 ur wedding with ur fathers support. .
If possible she should wear a fake pregancy kit 4 d traditional marriage...
Boomm... case settled...

Lets look at d bible, bro...
Abraham did it with Abimelech because of sarahs beauty(he did this twice in d bible, d second one with king of Egypt)..
Jacob did it with issac and to get Esaus blessing..
The Gibeonites did it with joshua and their kingdom wasnt conquered by joshua since has already made a promise...

Some parents (especially dads) can be very rigid but in dat their rigidity they lose control over their family...

I forgot to to add, i had a simiar experience with my dad(twice actually)...
During d first experience, we tot u could be convinced and employed d services of all his good friends dat we tot could talk some senses into him but we meet a brick wall...
While for second experience(from d experience we go from d first), we followed 'YES SIR' approach until we got wat we wanted...

I AM VERY SURE YOUR OLD MAN IS AN IGBO MAN...
But why are dey always like this...

ZIMDRILL:



did i get you clearly ? you mother passes away this year and your father said you should wait for a year

so the year hasnt passed and you think your father is not being fair ?

cvibe2:
You have not tasted her kpekus for 7yrs, but can she say the same too that she hasn't tasted any other GBOLA for 7yrs you have been together?

CertifiedGee:
Since your father is stone hearted and you don’t want to go against your personal vows and “the love of God”.
Why don’t you lie to him that the so called lady is pregnant and few days after your wedding..... you come up with a story of her losing the pregnancy, like miscarriage or something and keep your woman up with your plans so you’ll have a smooth and consistent story.
I hope it helps sha

Donald3d:

I got married recently, I am probably much younger than you are, I was practically in your shoes .
I wouldn't want to give to much details, because privacy is important, but I would say this :
No matter what happens, stand your ground, there is only so much resistance a father can give no matter how strict he is or thinks he is .
I didn't give her belle, I married her because she was a gem I couldn't afford to lose.The kind of girl you only see in fairy tales .
If your wife to be is that kind of girl, don't lose her because of your father's decision.You would regret it for the rest of your life. Just be sure she is worth the fight, if she is. STAND YOUR GROUND.You are a man .

Try and find diplomatic ways to resolve it, pray also a whole lot, you have no idea how much prayers can move mountains.Every man has a weak point, find your father's weak point and use it against him, play the fool if you have to and at the end of the day the end goal is getting your wife.

If the drama gets too much she might leave you, trust me, women don't like too much drama no matter how much they love you, especially in this case when she has been with you this long.

If your father is still "doing strong head", please go to your in-laws collect the list and pay her dowry . You already said they trust you. She is marrying you and not your father, from what you said, its not like he doesn't like the girl, he just wants to be stubborn. But I know he would come around, find his weak point and use it against him and win him over, that's what I did.

Don't suffer a life time of regret losing the love of your life because you couldn't stand up to your father.This is one of of your first tests of being a true man.Please pass it
Marriage26

UPDATE : Since you are Christian consider this bible passage. I reminded myself of it almost everyday :
The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will. Prov 21 VS 1
Make sure you and bae pray and fast fervently together. No battle is insurmountable as long as the person no be God, there is a solution.

Olukologia24592:
Bro, I'm a Christian that attends Pentecostal church, with what you've said, its a family thing, so the devil is trying to manipulate your way. Because you are about to give heaven joy. All you need now, FAST FOR 7DAYS tell God to help you break that jinx. I'm not a pastor but I speak based on the direction of the spirit

Ishilove:
The same God who has been arranging your life will break down your father's stony heart. Keep firm because men like you are very, very rare. You are a gem.

Marriage26:
Good day nairalander,

I am a popular jingo nairalander but got to hide under this moniker...


I have been dating my fiancee for the past 7 years, she had met my parents and I have met her's many times . We planned to get married earlier year. But it was the year my mother left this planet, I informed my family I wanted to get married but they declined, saying, it must be over years of mumsy's demise before I can marry.


We've fixed introduction days 3ice and it got cancelled by my father, what's his reason?


1. NYSC: I was posted to serve in the Northern part of the country 3 years ago, I went to camp, but I couldn't cope with the weather and couldn't leave my business as NYSC won't guarantee me job and I don't have other option. I absconded from the service and faced my business which I saved profits in 7 digits in same year, God made me comfortable.

2: He said I should rather impregnate the girl (backdoor talk)



I am close to my late 20s, he already banned all family members as many depend on him from attending my introduction.

He cancelled my introduction without fixing a new date.

My in-law trust me and ready to release the lady to me as I haven't had sex with her since 2012 that we've been dating...


And Also, God had supplied all I needed for my wedding from A-Z.



Do you think this is a cogent reason?. I want to ahead with my wedding plans...


Kindly advise....Thanks


Cc:


Farano , lalasticlala

Emescot:


Then why are you trying to break the family history, impregnate the girl, if that will make him happy

middlebelter:
I will advise you to engage people respected by your father to help you convince him to attend. It is jot in your best interest not to receive his blessings while going into marriage.
That institution is deeper than what you are seeing from outside. Pray, beg him and appeal to people he respect to help you talk to him.

Emescot:
7years and you never enter the place? Wow! The issue now is it that he wants you to impregnate her before marriage or does not want you to marry her at all? From what you have written, we dont know if he likes the girl or not. All in all call him and know his reasons