Akpos father took him to class his first day of school. Akpos dad pulled the teacher aside and told her, Akpos has a bad gambling problem so don't make a bet with him cos you can't win. The teacher agreed. When the teacher was passing out the text books Akpos said, teacher I'll make a bet with you,she replied ok what? Akpossaid I'll bet you fifty naira I can tell you what color of panties you have on. She agreed and told him after the last bell he was to stay in the room and then he could guess. While Akpos and the classmates were at recess the teacher took her panties off and put them in herpurse. When school was out Akpos stayed in the classroom and the teacher locked the doorand said okay Akpos what colorare they? He replied yellow. So the teacher raised her dress and said no your wrong, I'm not wearing any. Akpos asked her to walk him out to his dads car and he would get her money. so as Akpos passed his dad going to the car the teacher told his dad that Akpos finally got beat. He said what do you mean she said Akpos bet me fifty naira †̥hα̲̅†̥ hecould tell me what color of panties I had on so I took them off. The father replied; That sonof a bitch! He bet me a thousand naira †̥hα̲̅†̥ he could see your womanliness before theend of the Day.......!

Akpos father took him to class his first day of school. Akpos dad pulled the teacher aside and told her, Akpos has a bad gambling problem so don't make a bet with him cos you can't win. The teacher agreed. When the teacher was passing out the text books Akpos said, teacher I'll make a bet with you,she replied ok what? Akpossaid I'll bet you fifty naira I can tell you what color of panties you have on. She agreed and told him after the last bell he was to stay in the room and then he could guess. While Akpos and the classmates were at recess the teacher took her panties off and put them in herpurse. When school was out Akpos stayed in the classroom and the teacher locked the doorand said okay Akpos what colorare they? He replied yellow. So the teacher raised her dress and said no your wrong, I'm not wearing any. Akpos asked her to walk him out to his dads car and he would get her money. so as Akpos passed his dad going to the car the teacher told his dad that Akpos finally got beat. He said what do you mean she said Akpos bet me fifty naira †̥hα̲̅†̥ hecould tell me what color of panties I had on so I took them off. The father replied; That sonof a bitch! He bet me a thousand naira †̥hα̲̅†̥ he could see your pussy before theend of the Day.......!

A WARRI man traveled abroad. He entered a Restaurant and wanted to order chicken but hecouldn't remember what chicken is called in English. Luckily for him,he sees another man on the next table with 4 eggs on his plate..happily he calls out to the waiter and points at the eggs on the man'splate."Abeg... arrange me their mama!"

@mynd, am sure u laughed ur ass off. A rounds of applause pls.

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, andso we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me…It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-four, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less . She would regularly bend down when she was nearme, and I always got more thana nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her ‘little’ sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me thatshe couldn’t overcome. She toldme that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word. She said, ‘I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.’I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo andbehold,my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, ‘We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family. The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car, because I was on my way 2 fetch them when I passed the test ..gudnyt!!!!

@Mynd u had beta read this up, i guess u need this than any, so dnt pretend u aint readin it.lol

Yeah! Fnks My lady, tell them

Am not forcing anyone to read this but if u do, it will definately benefit u.

Lets tryna help d less romantic and if u thnk u are 100percnt romantic, now tell me aw many times have u made ur gal cum b4 ur ejaculatn. Lot of guys have sex for them to be satisfied alone not considering if she njoys it or not. Take ur time to read and master this, u are just close to getting kudos and letting d ladies cal 4 more. Lolz

It definately works, try it out.

Failing In Bed:- Fact or Fiction?
The top 40 ways men fail in bed... take notes, all
you 'Casanovas!'
1. NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and
diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her
feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get
your money's worth by cuttingout nonessentials.
A properly passionate kiss is the ultimate form of
pre-intimacy.
2. BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR. Admit it ,
some kid at school told you girls love this. Well,
there's a difference between being erotic and
blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the
candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.
3. NOT SHAVING. You often forget you have a
porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake
repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs.
When she turns her head from side to side, it's not
passion, it's avoidance.
4. SQUEEZING HER BREAST. Mostmen act like a
housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they
get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and
smooth them.
5. BITING HER NIPPLES. Why do men fasten onto
a woman's nipples, then clampdown like they're
trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples
are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to
chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your
tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a
doggie toy isn't.
6. TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES. Stop doing that thing
where you twiddle the nipples between finger and
thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a
hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the
exclamation points.
7. IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY. A
woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs:
Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel.
There are vast areas of her body which you've
ignored far too often as you gobombing straight
into downtown Vagina. So start paying them
some attention.
8. GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED. Poor manual
dexterity in the underskirt region can result in
tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to
be that aggressive, just ask herto take the damn
things off.
9. LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT. Condom
disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it,
you store it.
10. ATTACKING THE CLITORIS. Direct pressure is
very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers
along side of the clitoris.
11. STOPPING FOR A BREAK. Women, unlike men,
don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they
plummet back to square one very fast. If you can
tell she's not there, keep goingat all costs, numb
jaw or not.
12. UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY. Women hate
looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked
at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head.
Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.
13. GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING pre-intimacy.
Stroking her gently through her panties can be
very sexy. Pulling the material up between her
thighs and yanking it back andforth is not.
14. BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
Although most men can find the clitoris without
maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's
all at. No sooner is your hand down there than
you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a
chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not
careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's
best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the
exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a
finger inside her and see if shelikes it.
15. MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY. You're
attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage
to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are
okay; elbows and knees are not.
16. UNDRESSING PREMATURELY. Don't force the
issue by stripping before she's at least made some
move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just
undoing a couple of buttons.
17. TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST. A man in
socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the
socks first.
18. GOING TOO FAST. When youget to the penis-
in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is
pump away like an industrial power tool -she'll
soon feel like an assembly-lineworker made
obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with
clean, straight, regular thrusts.
19. GOING TOO HARD. If you bash your great
triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the
pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding
concentrated into a few seconds.
20. COMING TOO SOON. Every man's fear. With
reason. If you shoot before yousee the whites of
her eyes, make sure you have abackup plan to
ensure her pleasure too.
21. NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.It may appear
to you that humping for an hour without climaxing
is the mark of a sex god, but toher it's more likely
the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some
intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to
hold her interest while you're playing Marathon
Man.
22. ASKING IF SHE HAS COME. You really ought to
be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you
really don't know, don't ask.
23. PERFORMING MouthAction TOO GENTLY. Don't
act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your
whole mouth down there, and concentrate on
gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her
clitoris.
24. NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN. Men persist in
doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it
will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All
women hate this. It's about three steps from being
dragged to a cave by their hair.If you want her to
use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively
to her.
25. NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white.
Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral
sex, warn her before you comeso she can do
what's necessary.
26. MOVING AROUND DURING MouthAction. Don't
thrust. She'll do all the moving during MouthAction. You
just lie there. And don't grab her head.
27. TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN
MOVIES. In X-rated movies, women seem to love
it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just
means more laundry to do.
28. MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES. Asking
her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while
she does all the hard work is not. Caress her
gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like
the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.
29. ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT
WAS AN ACCIDENT. This is how men earn a
reputation for not being able to follow directions. If
you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't
think that being drunk is an excuse.
30. TAKING PICTURES. When a man says, "Can I
take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to
show my buddies." At least let her have custody
of them.
31. NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on
her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off.
Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy
props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no
no.
32. SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a
belching contest.
33. ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES. If she
wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless
she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too
ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual
partner with snapped hamstrings.
34. LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE. Read this
carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men
because they have a prostate. Women don't.
35. GIVING LOVE BITES. It is highly erotic to exert
some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if
you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to
wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on
end.
36. BARKING INSTRUCTIONS. Don't shout
encouragement like a coach with a megaphone.
It's not a big turn-on.
37. TALKING DIRTY. It makes you sound like a
lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she
likes nasty talk, she'll let you know.
38. NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES. You have
to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it
right, and she might even do the same for you.
39. SQUASHING HER. Men generally weigh more
than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily,
she will turn blue.
40. THANKING HER. Never thanka woman for
having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup
kitchen.
HEY GUYS! NEXT TIME REMEMBER THESE RULES
AND THE LADY MAY INVITE YOU BACK.

Failing In Bed:- Fact or Fiction?
The top 40 ways men fail in bed... take notes, all
you 'Casanovas!'
1. NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and
diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her
feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get
your money's worth by cuttingout nonessentials.
A properly passionate kiss is the ultimate form of
pre-intimacy.
2. BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR. Admit it ,
some kid at school told you girls love this. Well,
there's a difference between being erotic and
blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the
candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.
3. NOT SHAVING. You often forget you have a
porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake
repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs.
When she turns her head from side to side, it's not
passion, it's avoidance.
4. SQUEEZING HER BREAST. Mostmen act like a
housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they
get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and
smooth them.
5. BITING HER NIPPLES. Why do men fasten onto
a woman's nipples, then clampdown like they're
trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples
are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to
chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your
tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a
doggie toy isn't.
6. TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES. Stop doing that thing
where you twiddle the nipples between finger and
thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a
hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the
exclamation points.
7. IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY. A
woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs:
Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel.
There are vast areas of her body which you've
ignored far too often as you gobombing straight
into downtown Vagina. So start paying them
some attention.
8. GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED. Poor manual
dexterity in the underskirt region can result in
tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to
be that aggressive, just ask herto take the damn
things off.
9. LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT. Condom
disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it,
you store it.
10. ATTACKING THE CLITORIS. Direct pressure is
very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers
along side of the clitoris.
11. STOPPING FOR A BREAK. Women, unlike men,
don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they
plummet back to square one very fast. If you can
tell she's not there, keep goingat all costs, numb
jaw or not.
12. UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY. Women hate
looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked
at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head.
Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.
13. GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING pre-intimacy.
Stroking her gently through her panties can be
very sexy. Pulling the material up between her
thighs and yanking it back andforth is not.
14. BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
Although most men can find the clitoris without
maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's
all at. No sooner is your hand down there than
you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a
chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not
careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's
best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the
exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a
finger inside her and see if shelikes it.
15. MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY. You're
attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage
to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are
okay; elbows and knees are not.
16. UNDRESSING PREMATURELY. Don't force the
issue by stripping before she's at least made some
move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just
undoing a couple of buttons.
17. TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST. A man in
socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the
socks first.
18. GOING TOO FAST. When youget to the penis-
in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is
pump away like an industrial power tool -she'll
soon feel like an assembly-lineworker made
obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with
clean, straight, regular thrusts.
19. GOING TOO HARD. If you bash your great
triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the
pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding
concentrated into a few seconds.
20. COMING TOO SOON. Every man's fear. With
reason. If you shoot before yousee the whites of
her eyes, make sure you have abackup plan to
ensure her pleasure too.
21. NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.It may appear
to you that humping for an hour without climaxing
is the mark of a sex god, but toher it's more likely
the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some
intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to
hold her interest while you're playing Marathon
Man.
22. ASKING IF SHE HAS COME. You really ought to
be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you
really don't know, don't ask.
23. PERFORMING MouthAction TOO GENTLY. Don't
act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your
whole mouth down there, and concentrate on
gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her
clitoris.
24. NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN. Men persist in
doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it
will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All
women hate this. It's about three steps from being
dragged to a cave by their hair.If you want her to
use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively
to her.
25. NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white.
Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral
sex, warn her before you comeso she can do
what's necessary.
26. MOVING AROUND DURING MouthAction. Don't
thrust. She'll do all the moving during MouthAction. You
just lie there. And don't grab her head.
27. TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN
MOVIES. In X-rated movies, women seem to love
it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just
means more laundry to do.
28. MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES. Asking
her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while
she does all the hard work is not. Caress her
gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like
the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.
29. ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT
WAS AN ACCIDENT. This is how men earn a
reputation for not being able to follow directions. If
you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't
think that being drunk is an excuse.
30. TAKING PICTURES. When a man says, "Can I
take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to
show my buddies." At least let her have custody
of them.
31. NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on
her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off.
Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy
props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no
no.
32. SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a
belching contest.
33. ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES. If she
wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless
she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too
ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual
partner with snapped hamstrings.
34. LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE. Read this
carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men
because they have a prostate. Women don't.
35. GIVING LOVE BITES. It is highly erotic to exert
some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if
you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to
wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on
end.
36. BARKING INSTRUCTIONS. Don't shout
encouragement like a coach with a megaphone.
It's not a big turn-on.
37. TALKING DIRTY. It makes you sound like a
lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she
likes nasty talk, she'll let you know.
38. NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES. You have
to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it
right, and she might even do the same for you.
39. SQUASHING HER. Men generally weigh more
than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily,
she will turn blue.
40. THANKING HER. Never thanka woman for
having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup
kitchen.
HEY GUYS! NEXT TIME REMEMBER THESE RULES
AND THE LADY MAY INVITE YOU BACK.

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Fnks man. God bless u

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[color=#000099][/color] i scored 213 in my jamb and i heard 251 in post ume and i wants to study accounting. please whats is the possibility of me being admitted