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 Jokes Etc › Some Funny President Robert Mugabe Quotes To End Your Day With by McBrooklyn(op): 9:26pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
Disclaimer: If you're eating anything containing pepper, please do not read. I repeat please do not read!!!  40 Alleged Quotes from president ROBERT MUGABE to end your day and start a new month with.  1. Any man who successfully convinces a monkey that honey is sweeter than banana, is capable of selling condoms to a Roman father. 2. Dear ladies, If your boyfriend didn't wish you a happy mother's day or sing sweet mother for you, you should stop breastfeeding him. 3. He who swallows a complete coconut have absolute trust in his anus. 4. Dear sisters, don't be deceived by a man who text you "I miss you" only when it's raining, because you are not an umbrella. 5. Keep smiling, it reduces the life span of your enemies. 6. If over 15 guys have sucked your breasts, you don't need to call those things "your breasts", It's called COW BELL, OUR MILK! - Repeat after me, OUR MILK! 7. It's hard to bewitch African girls these days. Every time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire. 8. All I hear always is, 'No sex before marriage?' If that was God's plan, then you would receive your penis or vagina on your wedding day. 9. The only warning Africans take serious is LOW BATTERY. 10. Men sucking lady's breast is normal because the act was learnt in childhood when they were young but the act of lady's sucking men's d*ck is what baffles me, where did they learn it from? 11. Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a girlfriend'. 12. When your clothes are made of cassava leaves, you don't take a goat as a friend. 13. If you have attended over 100 weddings in your life and still single, you are not different from a Canopy. 14. Dating a slim/slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face. 15. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men don't walk around with X-Rays to see inner beauty. 16. Respect pregnant women because it's not easy walking around with evidence that you've had sex. 17. Some of the girls of today can't even jog for 5 minutes but they expect a guy to last in bed with you for 2 hours? Your level of selfishness demands a one week crusade. 18. I stopped trusting ladies when my class 3 girlfriend left me for another boy all because he bought a sharpener wid a mirror. 19. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a "broke" man who's extremely good in bed. 20. Witchcraft is when a 24 year old girl who cannot jog for 5 minutes expects a 40 year old man to last for 1 hour in bed. 21. Being dumped by a dark-skinned girl is the worst thing ever; because anytime you get home and see charcoal, you become emotional. 22. Women with beauty and no brains, it is your private parts will suffer the most. 23. When one's goat gets missing, the aroma of a neighbour's soup gets suspicious. 24. Its better for a man to be stingy with his money because he hustled for it than a woman to deny you a hole she didn't drill. 25. Even Satan wasn't gay, he approached naked Eve instead of naked Adam. Say no to same sex marriage. 26. If you are a married man and you find yourself attracted to school girls, just buy your wife a school uniform. 27. It is every man's dream to remove a woman's pant one day but NOT when it's on a drying line. 28. Virginity is the best wedding gift any man would receive from his newly wed wife but lately, there's nothing as such any longer because it'll have already been given out as a Birthday gift, token of Appreciation, Job assurance, Church collection, Examination marking schemes & for Lorry fares!" 29. Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow. 30. We are living in a generation where people “in love" are free to touch each others private parts but cannot touch each others phones because they’re private. 31. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum and you realise witchcraft is real. 32. If President Barack Obama wants me to allow marriage for same-sex couples in my country (Zimbabwe), he must come here so that I marry him first. 33. South Africans will kick down a statue of a dead white man but won’t even attempt to slap a live one. Yet they can stone to death a black man simply because he’s a foreigner. 34. What is the problem? We now have aeroplanes which can take them back quicker than the ships used by their ancestors. 35. Mr Bush, Mr. Blair and now Mr Brown's sense of human rights precludes our people's right to their God-given resources, which in their view must be controlled by their kith and kin. I am termed dictator because I have rejected this supremacist view and frustrated the neo-colonialists. 36. Cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in a piece of paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other end. 37. A brave man is he who has a running stomach and still wants to flatulate. 38. Journalist: Sir don't you think 89 years would be a great time to retire as a President. Mugabe: Have you ever asked the Queen this question or is it just for African leaders? 39. Interviewer: Mr President, when are you bidding the people of Zimbabwe farewell? Robert: Where are they going? 40. My dear ladies, please don't buy a selfie stick when your armpit itself needs a shaving stick. Name your favourite number from the list above Happy New Month Nairalander cc: lalasticlala, seun, mynd44, Fynestboi, Dominique 2 Likes |
| Politics › Re: Buhari Is Not A Magician Trending As Naira Hits N425/$ At Black Market by McBrooklyn(m): 9:11pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
GossipHeart:Bruh, if you dey ask me this question, na who make me go ask??  |
| Politics › Re: Buhari Is Not A Magician Trending As Naira Hits N425/$ At Black Market by McBrooklyn(m): 7:54pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
GossipHeart:A G_Boy Spotted!!!  Bro, how market now?? 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Politics › Re: Buhari Is Not A Magician Trending As Naira Hits N425/$ At Black Market by McBrooklyn(m): 7:53pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
Buhari is not a magician but he was forming a magician when he was campaigning and now that he has lost his magical powers just like Merlin lost his own magical powers to Morgana in the Merlin series so he is not tryna be a magician again . . . Smh!!! 17 Likes 1 Share |
| Science/Technology › Re: Anullar Eclipes Pictured In Osun State By 7:15am Till Now. by McBrooklyn(m): 7:39pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
Dyt:Ma'am, but why na??  I was just trying to appreciate God's handiwork in her life now
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| Phones › Re: 5 Signs That Show Your Android Smartphone/tablet Has Been Infected By Malware by McBrooklyn(m): 5:00pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
azeecoboy:Bro, I'm sorry I don't know that one either but you've to be careful with some websites you're going to surf especially the ones Google will redirected you in to |
| Romance › Re: A Lady's Phone Inbox Vs A Guy's Phone Inbox by McBrooklyn(op): 4:58pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
DebbieSean:Oh! The Trap Queen herself is in . . . We go pop champagne today Economy bad here too, but for a woman like you to be fighting your way through, I must really say you're a strong kind of woman Oh babe, and I was doing very bad until I saw your mention now. Thanks for coming back babe. Hope everything is fine now?? |
| Celebrities › Re: Daddy Freeze Gushes About His Lady For The Shawarma She Made For Him (photo) by McBrooklyn(m): 4:50pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
DebbieSean:Thanks Babe For The Warm Welcoming. How've You Been?? 1 Like |
| Celebrities › Re: The Rock Shares Video Of Aki Chinedu Ikedieze [PICS+VIDEO] by McBrooklyn(m): 2:02pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
OK |
| Celebrities › Re: The Rock Shares Video Of Aki Chinedu Ikedieze [PICS+VIDEO] by McBrooklyn(m): 2:01pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
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| Politics › Re: President Buhari Arrives Osun State To Commission Osogbo High School (photos) by McBrooklyn(m): 1:18pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
Abeg who dey watch the news for NTA abeg?? Why APC like to dey tell lies like this sef??  The kind thunder wey go strike this Ogbeni for all the kind lies wey E dey yarn for my TV ehn dey do press up 3 Likes
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| Family › Re: Lagos Pastor Divorces Wife For Sex & Food Starvation by McBrooklyn(m): 1:01pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
thundabot:Yes, Ma'am!! Sex can be food sometimes but that depends on whether you're getting it right or not. Sex nowadays sef is recognized by doctors as a balanced diet  These are the 4 types of sex we have with pictures to buttress the point there. The choice is yours to make 18 Likes 1 Share
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| Family › Re: Lagos Pastor Divorces Wife For Sex & Food Starvation by McBrooklyn(m): 1:01pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
Mtcheeeeew! Höes Everywhere!!! It's better for a man to be stingy with his money because he hustled for it than a woman to be denying you a hole she didn't drill 8 Likes 1 Share |
| Celebrities › Re: Simi: I Was Playing Piano In A Bum Short, Not Undies" [See Photo] by McBrooklyn(m): 12:47pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
Mtcheeeew! How this one take be news sef?? BTW, with the way the video was recorded, only fückboys will notice whether the girl dey wear payint or na bum shot. Fûckbois Everywhere, Smh!! Abeg to the real níggas out there, how much dem dey sell weed for una side?? Weed sef don skyrocket here 2 Likes |
| Celebrities › Re: Simi: I Was Playing Piano In A Bum Short, Not Undies" [See Photo] by McBrooklyn(m): 12:46pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
Well, that's no funny at all But seriously with the way some girls wear different brand abi na varieties of the so-called bum shot, it's kinda hard to differentiate between bum shot and payint nowadays 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Fashion › When You're Becoming Crazy But You've Got No One To Tell You by McBrooklyn(op): 12:42pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
Saw this on the internet yesterday and this got me thinking the extent in which with fashion is developing as days goes by in this 21st century Is this fashion or craziness?? cc: lalasticlala, seun, mynd44, Fynestboi, Dominique
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| Car Talk › Re: Why You Need To Run A Scan On Your Vehicle Before Repairs by McBrooklyn(m): 12:27pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
Emarc16:L-O-L G-Wagon Or Leg Wagon 2 Likes |
| Car Talk › Re: Why You Need To Run A Scan On Your Vehicle Before Repairs by McBrooklyn(m): 12:25pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
Who Scanning Epp?? We're in Nigeria and it's not like we're now in America Mechanics are the only scanner we have here in Nigeria 2 Likes
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| Science/Technology › Re: Anullar Eclipes Pictured In Osun State By 7:15am Till Now. by McBrooklyn(m): 12:01pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
Ursino:Jeez! C'mon you know what am probably thinking Well, I guess I'll just man up and say it then, I was actually thinking maybe we could meet up cos how are we gonna be in the same city and not know each other better So what did you think now?? |
| Science/Technology › Re: Eclipse Seen In Port Harcourt, Rivers State (pictured) by McBrooklyn(m): 11:53am On Sep 01, 2016 |
Berlyn:At last my baby boo is here . . . Oya Shakiti Bobo But Bae where have you been, I've been missing you crazy here. It ain't fair ooo!!! |
| Career › Re: All The Things That Happen When You Start A New Job by McBrooklyn(m): 11:21am On Sep 01, 2016 |
When A Fellow Co-Worker Cracks A Not So Funny Jokes But He Is The One Paying For Your Food 24 Likes
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| Career › Re: All The Things That Happen When You Start A New Job by McBrooklyn(m): 11:21am On Sep 01, 2016 |
When You Turn On Hotspot For A Fellow Co-Worker He Is Trying To Download A Movie Of 500MB 30 Likes 3 Shares
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| Science/Technology › Re: Anullar Eclipes Pictured In Osun State By 7:15am Till Now. by McBrooklyn(m): 11:07am On Sep 01, 2016 |
montezz:Yes, Ma'am! BTW, You've got a nice DP. A very nice one 1 Like |
| Science/Technology › Re: Anullar Eclipes Pictured In Osun State By 7:15am Till Now. by McBrooklyn(m): 10:52am On Sep 01, 2016 |
montezz:Lol, babe this life no get part 2 now and I cannot come and kill myself Body no be firewood now |
| Science/Technology › Re: Anullar Eclipes Pictured In Osun State By 7:15am Till Now. by McBrooklyn(m): 10:46am On Sep 01, 2016 |
Ursino:No qualms babe Wow babe, I dey Oshogbo currently too now What did you think?? |
| Science/Technology › Re: Anullar Eclipes Pictured In Osun State By 7:15am Till Now. by McBrooklyn(m): 10:42am On Sep 01, 2016 |
vivaciousvivi:Fine girl like you no suppose dey look this kind horror film by yourself now cos it will looks scary Let me come and cover you with the hand of God and embrace you with my heavenly body |
| Science/Technology › Re: Anullar Eclipes Pictured In Osun State By 7:15am Till Now. by McBrooklyn(m): 10:35am On Sep 01, 2016 |
montezz:Jeez! And me no see anything here for Oshogbo Maybe na because I just woke up not too long ago na why ah miss am |
| Science/Technology › Re: Anullar Eclipes Pictured In Osun State By 7:15am Till Now. by McBrooklyn(m): 10:30am On Sep 01, 2016 |
Ursino:Jeez! E pain me as ah no see am BTW, Where in Osun State are you babe?? |
| Christianity Etc › Re: Bible Believers Challenge #biblebelieverschallenge Day2 by McBrooklyn(m): 10:26am On Sep 01, 2016 |
Berlyn:Berlyn Baby, Where have you been?? I've been admitted in the hospital for missing you. Please do reply me babe |
| Science/Technology › Re: Anullar Eclipes Pictured In Osun State By 7:15am Till Now. by McBrooklyn(m): 10:18am On Sep 01, 2016 |
vivaciousvivi:Fine Girl, you no fit blind make we con dey look am together I cover you |
| Science/Technology › Re: Anullar Eclipes Pictured In Osun State By 7:15am Till Now. by McBrooklyn(m): 10:11am On Sep 01, 2016*. Modified: 11:02am On Sep 01, 2016 |
So is now 10:07am and yet we are still to see the eclipse occur, not even a partial one. I cancelled my meeting with Donald Trump,even Bill Gates has been calling me on phone that he wants to visit me but I told him to cancel his flight cos we are having Lunar abi Solar eclipse now Kim Kardashian just told me is over between us all cos I couldn't come and see her outside the gate cos am afraid of getting blind 7 Likes |
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