₦airaland Forum

Originality007:
weed weed weed weed

Wetin Do Weed

. . . And So The Toto Hunting Continues

Meanwhile . . .

Dame Patience Jonathan went out for drink with some of the Top Women after which the Waiter brought their bills . . .

Patience Jonathan. N10,400

Ngozi Okonjo.......... N10,250

Folasade Bent.........N10,450

Turai Yar’adua..........N10,200

Total.........................N41,300

Patience Jonathan said: I will pay for everyone else, but Total must pay for herself because I didn’t invite her, afterall she owns petrol stations all over Nigeria!

. . . Life Goes On . . . Broken Marriage Is Not The End Of Everything

Meanwhile . . .

Dame Patience Jonathan went out for drink with some of the Top Women after which the Waiter brought their bills . . .

Patience Jonathan. N10,400

Ngozi Okonjo.......... N10,250

Folasade Bent.........N10,450

Turai Yar’adua..........N10,200

Total.........................N41,300

Patience Jonathan said: I will pay for everyone else, but Total must pay for herself because I didn’t invite her, afterall she owns petrol stations all over Nigeria!

OMG! Funke Akindele Breast Though . . . Ahdonbelieveit

Meanwhile . . .

Dame Patience Jonathan went out for drink with some of the Top Women after which the Waiter brought their bills . . .

Patience Jonathan. N10,400

Ngozi Okonjo.......... N10,250

Folasade Bent.........N10,450

Turai Yar’adua..........N10,200

Total.........................N41,300

Patience Jonathan said: I will pay for everyone else, but Total must pay for herself because I didn’t invite her, afterall she owns petrol stations all over Nigeria!

ok

On Top Pvssy Wey Be Say If Dem Put The Kind Head Wey Dey The Pic Below . . . E Go Enter

Meanwhile . . .

OBASANJO, BABANGIDA & Buhari were in a plane.

1. OBASANJO said: I can throw N1000 note out & make someone happy.

2. BABANGIDA said: I can throw two N500 note
out & make 2 people happy.

3. Buhari said: I can throw five N200 notes & make 5 people happy.

4. The PILOT heard them & said to himself: "IDIOTS" I can throw 3 of U down & make over 150 million people happy!!!

So who do U support among this four?

Like For The Pilot And Share For OBASANJO, BABANGIDA and BUHARI

*In Olamide voice* APC! APC!! APC!!! Na the change we dey want . . . Can't believe I paid #50 instead of #20 for the normal T-fare today

Is he a future teller or wah? BTW, he predicted it but what did he do to stop it?

Pure Water Wey Dey Burst Brain

Disclaimer: Just saw this post on one of my WhatsApp group though I don't know if it's real or just made up. Just decided to share it here with fellow Nairalanders.

As the adage goes "Half a word is enough for the wise" . . . Please Read!!!

I received the text below from phone number 07037198374 which goes thus:

"Dear Customer, Due to the BVN validation in compliance with CBN bank directives, your ATM card has been Deactivated call our help line on 08135612171 now.

I promptly called the guy and below is the abridged version of our conversation.

Me: Hello sir, you just sent me a text message.

The Man: oh my God, you just received our message and you called! So you're affected by the BVN problem?

Me: you said my ATM is deactivated?

The man: which bank are you using?

Me: Which of my ATM is deactivated?

The Man: Which bank are you using?

Me: You deactivated my ATM so you know which one you deactivated.

The Man: OK, you are using First Bank?
Me: No sir, I don't use them.

The Man: Oh my God it is Access bank.

Me: Sorry Sir, I don't use Access.


The Man. What of GTB?

Me: No sir, I actually use Unity bank. You know it was formally Bank of the North.

The Man. Ohhhhh. Unity has been having problems. What's your account number?

Me: I don't know, can't remember off hand. I have about 5 bank accounts.

The Man: Take out your ATM let me check my system for you.

Me: Which bank are you working with?

The Man: CBN

Me: Sir, I don't have account with the CBN.

The Man: We are the head of all banks in Nigeria. We control banks from our office.

Me: What's your name sir?

The Man: Ahhhhh mmmmm John. Which ATM do you have with you now?

Me. The one your father gave me.

The man: My father?

Me: Yes, your lazy father that gave birth to a petty thief. Go and look for work.

The line went dead. But I was not done yet. So I called him back.

The Man: Hello.

Me: I am not done with you yet. don't hang your phone on me. I will surely castrate you. You can't speak good English and you're working with the CBN.

The man: Your father!!!!

The phone went off and was switched off too.

Kindly warn your friends not to disclose their banking details to anybody on the phone. It could save a life.

Pls. Share this urgently with your family & friends.

Beware Of BVN Scammer!!!

cc: lalasticlala

ok

I received the text below from phone number 07037198374. . . Please read!

"Dear Customer,Due to the BVN validation in compliance with CBN bank directives, your ATM card has been De_activated call our help line on 08135612171 now.

I promptly called the guy and below is the abridged version of our conversation.

Me: Hello sir, you just sent me a text message.

The Man: oh my God, you just received our message and you called! So you're affected by the BVN problem?

Me: you said my ATM is deactivated?

The man: which bank are you using?

Me: Which of my ATM is deactivated?

The Man: Which bank are you using?

Me: You deactivated my ATM so you know which one you deactivated.

The Man: OK, you are using First Bank?
Me: No sir, I don't use them.

The Man: Oh my God it is Access bank.

Me: Sorry Sir, I don't use Access.

The Man. What of GTB

Me: No sir, I actually use Unity bank. You know it was formally Bank of the North.

The Man. Ohhhhh. Unity has been having problems. What's your account number?

Me: I don't know, can't remember off hand. I have about 5 bank accounts.

The Man: Take out your ATM let me check my system for you.

Me: Which bank are you working with?

The Man: CBN

Me: Sir, I don't have account with the CBN.

The Man: We are the head of all banks in Nigeria. We control banks from our office.

Me: What's your name sir?

The Man: Ahhhhh mmmmm John. Which ATM do you have with you now?

Me. The one your father gave me.

The man: My father?

Me: Yes, your lazy father that gave birth to a petty thief. Go and look for work.

The line went dead. But I was not done yet. So I called him back.

The Man: Hello.

Me: I am not done with you yet. don't hang your phone on me. I will surely castrate you. You can't speak good English and you're working with the CBN.

The man: Your father!!!!

The phone went off and was switched off too.

Kindly warn your friends not to disclose their banking details to anybody on the phone. It could save a life.


Pls. Share this urgently with your family & friends.


Beware Of BVN Scammer!!!

#Copied

ok

Just saw this pic online and this got me cracking . . . Just decided to share it here with fellow Nairalanders here

cc: lalasticlala

ok

If Arsene Wenger is given the opportunity to be Leicester City Manager for the remaining two games, he will still find a way to finish Fourth

Good Afternoon

Ehn Ehn! And What Happened Next

Swissheart:
You have to count 7 stones with your removed tooth, then throw it on the roof.... Otherwise you won't grow a new one.

Lol . . . The good old days! I remember doing this one wella! Are you sure your teeth now up to 32?

juhan:
else what?

Else . . . *Don't know how to translate am from Yoruba to English* BTW, Can I Pm you?

Well, over to the gurus in the house
*walks out of thread*

Cutehector:
Hahahahaha number 8 got me laffing




Seeing chekeleke bird flying means that we will have new set of fingernails

Shuo! Oga you no even allow me make ah land the post before you comment . . . Diariz God oh!

juhan:
lol im not naw buh i'll love to test and see if its true.

What will a fine girl like you need witchcraft for? It is better you believe your grandfather alternative to practical or else . . .

juhan:
Haha i still believe that number 8. yes. My grandfather told me this one. If someone is sleeping with his legs up and you change his position, he wont be able to enter his body when he comes back from the witchcraft meeting.

Thank God now you ain't a witch then or are you?

Ginaz:
There was a day my grandpa beat me when I behaved naughty, I was crying and disturbing the peace of the house that night. My grandmother then called me and said, ' don't you know that it is forbidden to cry in the night? If you cry millipedes will enter your bumbum '' .

I kept quiet immediately and went to sleep. Till today I still believe it sef.

Lol . . . The good old days! You're a big girl now so you don't need to be scared again

Growing up in Nigeria is definitely interesting. Children were made to believe different myths for one reason or the other. Parents and the elders of the society come up with different stories for children, these myths have been passed from generation to generation.
Most people still do not know if these things happen in reality or not. But people still end up saying them even as adults.
Check out some of the common myths you must have grown up hearing as a Nigerian:

1. You must not sit on the mortar
Most homes have mortar and pestle as pounded yam is wildly eaten in every part of Nigeria. The mortar for its round structure could be seen as a stool and people often sit on them.
Growing up, it was believed that if you sit on the mortar, your butt would swell. Many people would have known by now that this is not true. Elders probably said this for us to learn to keep the mortar clean and to avoid breaking air into it.

2. If you beat a boy with broom, his penis would be affected
Now this is hilarious. Most men still avoid being beaten by broom till now for fear of having a shrunk penis. This myth is so popular most people do not know if it happens for real or not.
Moreover, no one is ready to experiment since an important organ is involved. Men do not even like people teasing them with being beaten by broomstick.

3. Coconut water makes you a dullard
Many children were made to believe drinking coconut water would make them dull. Many people end up wasting the water in the coconut and go for the flesh of the coconut itself because they do not want to be stupid.

4. If you eat the eye of fish, you will become an ‘olodo’
The head of fish was dreaded by most people while growing up as a regular Nigerian kid because of this myth. This is because, the eye of a fish is presumed to make one fail in school if eaten.
There were even songs sang to children who failed in school as a result of them eating the eye of a fish. Till date, most people still avoid eating that part of the fish and pop out the eye before eating. Some even avoid the entire head.

5. If you look at your shadow at night you will have bad dreams
Many children were told this myth and they avoided looking at their shadows at night so they would not have nightmares.
The shadows were presumed to be scary and many children even cried upon seeing their shadows.

6. Collecting rainwater from the rooftop with your hand could kill you
Children were told this myth about the thunder and lightning striking anyone who collected water with his hands from the rooftop. Most families put out bowls and buckets to fetch water from the rooftop when it starts to rain.
Most children enjoy playing in the rain and collecting water from the rooftop with their curved palms is their idea of perfect fun. This myth however made most children shiver at the thought of being killed while doing so.

7. Whistling at night brings in snakes
Many of us still believe in this myth. Whistling at night makes your house opened to snakes as they would crawl in at the sound of your whistle.
Children were also warned to avoid blowing whistle in the night for the same reason.

8. Seeing the sun when it is raining means the lion is giving birth
Most people believed this myth so much they still say it as adults. Seeing the sun shine at the same time when the rain falls is overwhelming. The best interpretation for this then was that the lion was giving birth.

9. Sleeping with legs on the wall means you are a witch
Many sleep in different positions; having a bed put up beside a wall may prompt most people to want to put their legs on the wall.
Being caught in this position by anyone means you are a witch. And worse still, you have gone to attend meeting with your witchcraft members.

10. Singing to the egret would make your nails white
The egret is the bird often seen when cattle herds drive their cows around. Most children believe singing a song to the egret would make your nails have white spot in them.
This myth was so believed, children would leave their playing ground to sing to the egrets so they could have whiter nails.

You can also add your's

cc: lalasticlala

Those Days When Women Were Girls! Those days when the Kitty-cat have not been tampered with! Some of these celebrities throwback picture sef . . . Smh