007kjb:


That's true but in this case it is even the woman that wants to take the child to the real father...so this guy has no choice than to accept his loss

My advice is for him to send that lady away today

my brother, I'll have sent her out of my house, just that I've been very very down since that the she told me. I don collect more than six drop for hospital since Monday. I'm just praying to wake up strong tomorrow so I could send her away.

pointblank247:
Forgive her but let her go for the following reasons.
1, she love her ex more than she love you.
2, she didn't confess because she was remorseful but because her ex want her to.
3, she is a sceamer for not telling the pastor what actually happened. I thought she was supposed to tell the pastor the truth and beg him to beg you for forgiveness. You are very right sir, the Lord bless you...


She can do worse if you let her

Do you know what she told me today? She said her ex was more open to her when they were in a relationship than me. Imagine someone who is begging me for forgiveness, yet saying all these.

muyico:
fiction story! just let her go?? bcus d loves isn't dere anymore

I won't come and cook up a story, this is what I'm passing through now.

madridguy:
If your story is real and not fiction, take the child for DNA test first to be 100% sure of her claim.

The confused gender can be funny at times. She might be trying to use the same child to hook her ex probably that one don secure good job and she want to port.

Think with cool head bro.

I swear with my mother's grave the boy looks 100% like the guy.

Last week Saturday was the day I would never forget in a hurry, it was a Saturday I nearly died. My wife met me in the room while i was relaxing and she said she has something to tell me, so I said okay she should go ahead and the next thing she said was please she is sorry for everything, that she is tired of keeping it for 6 years and that she is ready for the outcome of this. I replied by saying "you're keeping me in too much suspense, please talk". Then she said i'm not the father of our first child, that the father is back for him claiming responsibility. Though I've always had doubt about the child right from birth. She said the father denied being responsible for the pregnancy when she got pregnant that was why she forced it on me. She started apologizing that I should forgive her, that she was young and naive. I couldn't utter a word due to how i was feeling.

She went down to our pastor's office and told him everything and that she wants to go back to her parent's house, then he asked her why and she said it's not as if marriage has been smooth and that I've sent her out of the house severally when we had issues. Etc. For goodness sake is that the issue on ground?

From then till today I've not understood myself uptil today, I was admitted in the hospital for good three days, I was discharged yesterday evening. Till now I haven't said anything yet due to my health condition. She kept begging me everyday day, right from the hospital, uptil today. Guys, I wish death could just take me, this lady has shattered me. I wish you know what I passed through for that child.

I remember when she was in labour for that child, i had to treck all around this city of Abuja from place to place begging people I know for little assistance so I could buy little things for the birth of the child, if I express what I passed through, Oh God... Let me stop here. Please guys what should I do? Right now I just want to get better and send her back to her parent's house. I'm tired of crying for almost 5 days now.

See the environment his house is located, looks like one shamp.

We all saw a picture of how some school children were taken on an excursion yesterday without proper safety measure of life jacket, just this morning i saw this picture on the profile of a teacher i know very well, what baffles me is the face of the innocent children, arrrrh God.... Please guys what is happening in this country? Why do we have little regard for life? Until something happens that is when our attention is drawn into safety but after few days life goes back to normal.... As a father once i hear my children are going on a excursion, i always ask for the full details of everything, the nature of the excursion, the essence, safety measures etc.... If I'm not convinced, i don't allow my children to be a part of it. Let me give you an instance; There was an excursion that my children's school sent to parents in my son's class about taking them for an excursion in a very popular factory in the state we reside, then i called the administrator and i asked alot of questions about the excursion and i realized that even the administrator does not have full knowledge of the factory due to the way she was stammering in answering my questions, then i told her vividly that my son would not be part of it but i paid the money they were asked to pay.

westlius:
Omo if na my pikin, I will sue d school mgt ASSAP

my brother, I swear to you before i sue the school, I'll so slap the principal.

It is sad that we really love taking risks in this country, this is not the first time boat mishaps have been happening in various rivers & dams in Nigeria and the passengers die while some go missing due to negligence of life jackets. Why would school children like this be taken on a boat ride excursion without proper arrangement of life jackets for the pupils?

We also lost jnr pope yesterday so therefore this one isn't news.

A Nigerian Man Removes his wives four Teeth after discovering through DNA test that his 3 kids are not his own.

This was maradona's own in those days

The goal was awarded in the favour of Jigawa Golden Stars⭐🟡🇳🇬 against Sporting Supreme ⚖️🔴🇳🇬 in yesterday's NNL clash in Jigawa state.

The officiating was so poor.... How will a player score with hand and yet the goal awarded 🥵
Just take a look at how close referee was but yet pretended not to have seen it. This is called maradona the second.

I've been wondering what it signifies, so i decided to share it here on nairaland. So guys, what does it mean abina just design to fill up space?

This outfit was sown by the person guy standing.... He's a neighbour of mine and to him he has sown something very very great and he's advertising it.... Guys, can you wear it?

More

A truck conveying goats and grains fell off the popular secretariat junction round about in Jos this evening killing some of the goats onboard.

More

This accident occurred in kogi state yesterday evening between a dangote truck and a sienna which had 12 people onboard travelling to Plateau State. All passengers were immediately burnt to dead, only one passenger survived. The sienna had
6 children 4 males and 2 females.

A friend of mine will be getting married and he tried as much as he can to cut expenses then boom on his invitation card there is no reception, he only wrote refreshment follows immediately in the family compound

Naijatask:
Omo, sometimes when I read news like this, I thank Allah for making me grow up where such vices doesn't exist

this Congo Russia is a place where even coccaine is sold openly.

Rahkman:
around 2008 I remember 3 corpers from South west that where killed along that katako road , leading to St augustines ,they rented a house there,they were killed on the phone crying to their parents I left that city 2008 ....many students perished there very cursed town

you really know how be that..

More...

Congo-Russia is located in Jos North Local Government Area of Plateau State, North-central Nigeria.

Drugs and sex appear to form a kinship among youths in a city where constant ethno-religious conflict has made a farce of what it once stood for – a home of peace and tourism.

The lifestyle in Congo seems to be the greater influence that bridges ethnic and religious barriers, even though, like some other districts of Jos, there are trained peace ambassadors like Dang Choji who supports a storytelling programme to reconcile Christian and Muslim youths.

Nafisa enjoys using codeine and other narcotics, particularly the one she goes by the name “rochi.” She acknowledges that alcohol does not fit her system.

Intoxicated, Nafisa has a reputation for starting arguments. Because of this, she became known among those around her as Masifatu, which is Hausa for “troublemaker.”

But Nafisa’s journey starts somewhere else, beneath the protection of a soldier spouse, not here, where sex is cheap, drug abuse is common, and the stench of sweat and marijuana lingers.

The popular lodge in Congo features a spacious front porch that opens into a roomy parlour where young guys watch TV and occasionally blow smoke up to the ceiling.

Nafisa, sitting among a group of ladies within the compound, gets up and puts on her headscarf as she approaches. One of her hands is constantly scratching various places of her body as she tells HumAngle her story.

Nafisa was married to a soldier years ago, and he treated her in a way that she thought no well-meaning husband should. It was his routine to get a carton of codeine and other medications for her.

“And I used to ask him, ‘oga, if you love someone, won’t you buy a little of this stuff and more of something else?’” she says.

However, it didn’t seem like he was listening, and Nafisa started to worry about her escalating addiction. She did not want her children to grow up to face discrimination from others outside of their family because of their mother.

Nafisa had already decided to file for divorce when her husband was sent to Kaduna. That’s how she went back to her parents’ house in Jos.

She still seems stuck, though, since she keeps going to Congo’s well-known lodge.

“I have been coming here for many years. It has its good and bad sides,” Nafisa says. “The good thing is, if you’re hungry and the wayward men come around, you can ask for N200 for food. If it’s drugs, they won’t give you.”

According to HumAngle that Nafisa has a problem with being called a prostitute. She reveals that she now sleeps with men cautiously.

“Sometimes, the people I give my body to for money don’t respect me and badmouth one outside, so I try to avoid it,” she explains. “The Muslim men always demand sex when you ask them for money, but the Christian men can give you money without asking for sex in return.”

A common example is the Christian Dang Choji. Born and raised in Chwelnyap, also called Congo-Russia, Choji is one of the peace ambassadors trained by Youth Initiative Against Violence and Human Rights Abuse (YIAVHA). Choji’s neighbourhood is actually part of Congo; its name is just different.

Wearing a crisp white shirt, dark trousers and spotting dark shades, Choji walks with confidence through the streets of Congo, which he proudly calls home.

Maybe few young individuals have assimilated into Congolese culture without participating in its contentious practices like Choji. Since 2020, he has collaborated with YIAVHA, and he currently serves as the chair of an interfaith committee that travels to different areas to preach peace and foster self-confidence via intergenerational storytelling.

In addition to Congo, Choji’s group is currently working in 20 towns in Jos North, paying special attention to the schools there. Children between the ages of 13 and 18 are gathered and brought into a classroom where an elder shares stories of life in the city before to the crisis.

“We tell stories about how we once used to live in peace and celebrate Christmas and Sallah together,” he says, a strategy that is recording some success in various parts.

Congo/Congo-Russia

HumAngle revealed that According to Chogi, competitions between Muslims and Christians from Congo-Russia and Unguwar Rogo were organised in a Christian prayer building prior to Christmas before the crises of 2001. Muslims attended Catholic bazaars as well. Religious differences were never a factor in conflicts because people of various faiths were typically seen fighting for their communities on opposing sides.

When ethno-religious crises erupted in the city years later, non-governmental organisations (NGOs) like Search for Common Ground and the Peace Building Agency tried their best. Additionally, religious and traditional authorities, as well as youth organisations, put up dialogue platforms.

“The NGOs worked on the people’s minds,” Chogi says. “Now in Congo, you can’t always differentiate between a Muslim or Christian even though the crises have greatly affected the people.”

However, Chogi notes that the drug trade is robust and has been a major factor in uniting the youth of the community. Because of this, several riots that had started in 2001 did not expand to the Congo.

Youth and older people get together for an ecumenical gathering called “Living Together” every Wednesday. Youths from Tudun Bera and Unguwar Keke participate in various events, including listening to a Unity FM peace broadcast and making contributions.

“We have youth groups, a committee within the community where we elected leaders currently working at curtailing the drug business and safeguarding the community,” Choji explains.

However, despite these attempts, drug dealing, addiction, and prostitution in the Congo have become the norm and are tough to stop. The neighborhood’s original name, Chwelnyap, was nearly completely erased when the names Congo and Congo-Russia became popular.

Choji, a history graduate as well, remembers oral histories that have been passed down in his community.

There was a military barracks near Congo in the 1970s. Because of this, military people developed the practice of coming to the settlement to unwind. Even then, the way of life in the neighbourhood was such that street fights were commonplace and dead bodies were sometimes found lying there.

Nigerian troops who had returned from peacekeeping assignments in the Congo and other nations at the time claimed that life in Chwelnyap was similar to that in the Congo. Additionally, the term Congo-Russia quickly became well-known because to the conflict in Russia.

Thriving Drug Business

One of the Congo youth leaders, Zang, has a successful drug trade. He was born and raised in the same neighbourhood, has been in the industry for approximately five years, and is driven to keep going since he can make up to N10,000 a day from it.

Zang obtains his drug supply somewhere in the Congo; he doesn’t have to travel far to replenish it. All he has to do is get up early and meet his contacts before the streets are packed with people going about their business for the day.

“I know my customers and my customers know me,” Zang offers simply. As far as he is concerned, “selling drugs here is a job to us,” and more importantly, he uses the income to take care of his two children.

Zang is a drug dealer with a gang of “boys” that sell for him, but he also organises the local youth, which is a conflicting force in a community where certain authorities are trying to control the drug trade.

Community Effort

The founding of the Muslim/Christian Forum is another attempt to bring about enduring peace in the Democratic Republic of the Congo between Muslims and Christians.

It was founded by clergymen from both religions in the Nasarawa division, and Ibrahim Choji Yusuf, the Ward Head of Chwelnyap, is in charge of it.

The Nasarawa Police Division and the forum, which was established in 2015, collaborated to teach the residents of all the settlements to view crime as an atrocity devoid of any religious connotations.

“Now you will discover that a Muslim may have one house at Chwelnyap (Congo) and another at Unguwar Rogo. People started swapping houses,” Yusuf says, adding that after observing this, they decided they must find a solution.

The dispute that began in 2001 originated in Congo-Russia, according to Yahaya Musa, the Mai Unguwa (head of community). However, he thinks that the relative calm in the area now is a change that is here to stay.

Despite some of the gains recorded in this part of Jos, there is still evidence of past destructions during ethno-religious riots, especially at an area known as Congo junction.

Still, not giving up, individuals like Pam Bala, Secretary Joint Christian and Muslim Forum, are involved in the sensitisation of Muslims and Christians on the negative impact of clashes between them.

Bala recalls when five imams and reverends preached in Congo and about five youths promised not to go back to abusing drugs. Eventually, some of them left the settlement and vowed not to be involved in armed violence again. “This is one of the most vulnerable communities in Jos,” he says. “Many youths smoke Indian hemp, and there is the issue of child prostitution.”

Toma Maisamari, an immediate past youth leader in Congo, says organising end of year celebrations and other activities has helped in uniting the different religions to a certain extent. He, however, admits that marijuana plays one of the most important roles among the young. “Even when we don’t take drugs, we interact with them and sensitise them on the need to live in peace,” he says.

Maisamari laments that although Congo-Russia does not have a pharmaceutical company that manufactures drugs or a farm where marijuana is cultivated, drugs continue to get into the hands of end-users in the community.

“The security personnel are not helping matters. They are compromised,” he says. “These drugs don’t fall from the sky, they pass through our major roads.”

The community has called the attention of drug peddlers to the dangers, Maisamari explains. The leaders have also collaborated with the police, National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA), and neighbourhood watch. “But the problem persists,” he says.

Uba Gabriel Ogaba, Plateau State Police Public Relations Officer (PPRO), points out that the police constantly engage in raids and have charged persons to court in the area.

Again, not everyone comes to a place like Congo’s popular lodge for the drugs available around it.

Fatima Yusuf Abdullahi, who is a Muslim, has lodged there for about two months just to enjoy the relationships it offers. “We live here like brothers and sisters,” she says. “I’m here with my boyfriend.”

Fatima has a diploma in Business Administration from Nasarawa State University, Keffi and plans to further her education. But at the moment she is jobless and finds Congo a good place to help her unwind.

Although she is aware of the theft, drug peddling and prostitution that takes place in the lodge, she finds it difficult to stay away.

“Police do carry out raids sometimes, but they accept bribes and only arrest the wrong people,” she reveals.

Fatima’s joblessness is typical of the state of youths in Congo. HumAngle observed that there are few businesses in the area and not a single skills acquisition centre for the young.

“This is exactly what we crave for here,” Choji says, pointing to a location he believes will be ideal for such an initiative. “But help is yet to come.”

SOURCE: HUMANGLE MEDIA

The picture below is a building of a Baptist church and a mosque built together in Adebayor street, Jos. It has been there since the 80's... There has been a lot of religious crises in Jos where many churches and mosques were burnt but nothing has ever happened to this particular one.

jesmond3945:
it would be difficult to move on. There are kids betwen you both.

why do you say so sir? Can you explain, like talk more on it ... I really wish I can move on!!!

Uyi168:
..
Hope you've done the necessary check-check to make sure the three children are actually yours.


You'd feel better with time..

the truth is I've always had doubt on two of the children. I'm only sure of one.

Chummynoni:
I have no advice for you but the least thing you should be worry about are your neighbors.

Hmmmm, thanks alot.... What you said will help me alot.

obat:
You are not divorced, your wife just packed out of your house to meet her parents. What you have is a quarrel which is very common at your stage of marriage and even at older marriages. It is good occasionally to have some space, it helps to appreciate what you are gaining from each other. I'm sure both of you are experiencing it now.

From your story, you have been married for just 7 years and you have 3 children, you are both under pressure managing the kids, works and finance especially in this economy. Before your wife packed out, you were no longer communicating. Majority of what she said to you were emotional driven and not necessarily rational. With patience, some leve.l of maturity from both of you, you would endure/manage this phase and thereafter enjoy your marriage. DM me personally and let's talk. Many people result to divorce at every little opportunity but this is wrong. Just like you have been thinking, you are unnecessarily exposing the lives of your innocent children by considering divorce.
For now, you can leave her for a week or 2 and thereafter call her. Maturity is dropping your pride to make things work.

Anytime we have issues and her she packs to her parents house, I'll always be the on to go and beg before the mum allows her to come back to my house. Her family has never come to beg.

elipheleh:


She will come back. She will beg you in before 14 days time.

But never call her. Completely ignore her family. Do as if you didn't notice anybody left your house.

It once happened to me, I came back from work to find that my wife had left with my son and her things and my house maid.
Me I completely locked up. Never called her, never called her parents or siblings.
My own parents ate alive. When we talk on phone, I always told them my family was fine. If they asked, I say everybody was ok.

So after like 12 days, my wife and her people couldn't endure the quietness again. They kept wondering why I was at peace.
By themselves, they began calling my people and telling them that their daughter left and I didn't care to call them and ask what happened.

Next thing, my best friend called me, my mum called me, dad called me. Everyone was now asking where my wife was. They were all surprised. They beffed me to call my inlaws and reconcile my house. I told them no.

Then I told them that since I didn't chase her away, that she must come back home on her own.

I began giving my wife, her parents much of my own condition. Example: For everyday my wife stated in their place without them calling me the head of the home to ask me what happen, that I am punishing her with 7 days for every single day spent.

So she had stayed 12 days already so I told them I w ok not consider taking them back till after next 12 weeks.

The story long.

The point is stand your ground.
As a man never apologize to anyone when you're right.
Never tolerate insults from your wife or her parents. How dare they tell my wife to come back without my permission?
Punish every act if disobedience, never let go of Bleep ups.
Be ready to let anybody go at all times

Wao, your story is very interesting to read. Men are really not finding if funny in marriages. You know what annoys me the most? Why must i always be the one to go and apologize whenever we have problem that leads her to going back to her parents' house? I'll always go and beg before her mum allows her to come back to my house.

meobizy:
This will make front page. Let me add my contribution. You know how you survived heartbreaks back in school? This is no different. Neighbours, na them help you marry the girl? How is the divorce their problem? Face your 9 - 5 and continue living. You're a bachelor once again. See fine Gen Z girls everywhere. Na now you go use vex knack the ones wey enter your eyes. Face your job, face your hobbies and create new ones.

well spoken but my major problem is that I work from home so I'm always at home. I wish my kind of job is the type that I'll go out in the morning and come back later.