₦airaland Forum

Bodaolawrites:
Unfortunately for me, Ada joined us outside, dressed up.

Ada ke? U mean Ngozi right?

franksunny:
I give the honor of commenting on this thread for the first time, but I don't agree with you on your assertion. Still no time for me to express myself, no vex for me

Everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion about things. That's what makes the world go round.

I applaud you for the efforts you made in your story. However, I feel you kinda rushed the conclusion. I had this "unfinished, rushed" and sort of unsatisfying feeling about the end. Like you didn't know the best way to end it properly. To me, it felt like a meal you've been savoring, enjoying the taste, but along the line you begin to lose interest in the meal, then when you are beginning to enjoy it again, your plate is taken away.

I figured out Mike was gonna die at some point. The build up was sort of abrupt to be honest. What then happened to others? how did they react? How about those he left behind at home? I assume he was killed in a totally different country from where he had his base with Sly and Jaz. The hired assassins didn't know him from Adam. How would you have then "gathered every detail from friends and family, every one he ever met during his life time"? And what happened to his and Amaka's child? These are but some questions that were left hanging and left me with my conclusions.

I believe you might have run out of ideas on how to end the story, and i honestly feel it dragged on for too long, especially with the repetitive plots but different characters, but that doesn't take away the fact that you came up with a good story. You just need a bit of improvements here and there.