₦airaland Forum

leoinnocent:
well, after reading the conclusion of the story, I realized that every decision we make in life always have it's effect on us either positively or negatively. Ndi shouldn't have gone to the other woman in the first place in the name of revenge because two wrongs doesn't make a right. As for Maya, it's just a matter of time before jonjo drop her sorry ass and she won't be able to overcome the mess she put herself into and consequently become a runs girl. I believe that undertaker love sister Esther but don't want to admit it or afraid of relationship. Centino has really done a very good work here. more grease to your elbow. can't wait for October1

I will not entirely blame Freke for falling for the charms of another lady, especially when his "girlfriend" betrayed him and lied to his face about it. Lusty Liz is a sensual woman and is not a novice, especially when it comes to the very same Jonjo. She had the experience and know what he can and cannot do. All she told Freke was true. Though youth and ignorance played a part in his situation, poverty made it even worse and caused Mayas mum to push her into the arms of a playa.

As for Maya, deep down in her heart, she knows shes nothing but Jonjos b*tch and no more than a sex-toy and cum-bucket to him, but the lure of money has fueled her ego, clouded her young naive mind, and made her feel bigger than what she is. When a guy asks...sorry...commands a girl to lick his anus during 4play, calls her a b*tch when f@cking, and demands she swallows and not spit, then what else is she? That to me is the lowest form of depravity and degradation a man can subject a girl to. But hey, it's all fine and dandy as long as he keeps her bank account fat, right? We see such humiliation playing everywhere to young girls. But to them it is all "worth it" if it brings them the cheddar. Abi no be moni dey cause some of the sh*t-eating in Dubai stories we dey hear? Later they will troop out on social media demanding equal rights and claim feminism.

Sadly, the only person who could have saved her was the same person she stuck a razor in his back. Just as you said, it's just a matter of time before Jonjo gets tired of her. And my two cents says it will be soon, cos shes now carrying another baby.

We wey we no come dey naija nko? How we go pay?

You are doing a good job so far. Keep it that way.

Dude. Word of advice to u. You do not need to "beg" people to like or comment on your post. Let your work do the advertising for you. What pisses people off is story writers asking for "2000 likes" or X number of views every 2 to 3 updates. Let people come to their own conclusions.

PharoahIII:
I would like to believe someone in primary school wrote this, this work (if I may call it that) is replete with grammatical blunders. Your syntax is incoherent, the punctuation is wrong, wrong, wrong!
Please stop addressing yourself as a writer. Try your hand at something else, writing is quite patently not for you. I strongly recommend Brighter Grammar Bks 1 -4.

Guy u better take a chill pill. There's nothing wrong with his writing style. If u have a problem, you can either go write yours that will suit you, or not read at all. No one forced u to read what you dont like.

Bodaolawrites:
Tnx baba... I son modify am....

No p man. Pls mention me on ur next update.

Bodaolawrites:
Unfortunately for me, Ada joined us outside, dressed up.

Ada ke? U mean Ngozi right?

franksunny:
I give the honor of commenting on this thread for the first time, but I don't agree with you on your assertion. Still no time for me to express myself, no vex for me

Everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion about things. That's what makes the world go round.

I applaud you for the efforts you made in your story. However, I feel you kinda rushed the conclusion. I had this "unfinished, rushed" and sort of unsatisfying feeling about the end. Like you didn't know the best way to end it properly. To me, it felt like a meal you've been savoring, enjoying the taste, but along the line you begin to lose interest in the meal, then when you are beginning to enjoy it again, your plate is taken away.

I figured out Mike was gonna die at some point. The build up was sort of abrupt to be honest. What then happened to others? how did they react? How about those he left behind at home? I assume he was killed in a totally different country from where he had his base with Sly and Jaz. The hired assassins didn't know him from Adam. How would you have then "gathered every detail from friends and family, every one he ever met during his life time"? And what happened to his and Amaka's child? These are but some questions that were left hanging and left me with my conclusions.

I believe you might have run out of ideas on how to end the story, and i honestly feel it dragged on for too long, especially with the repetitive plots but different characters, but that doesn't take away the fact that you came up with a good story. You just need a bit of improvements here and there.