₦airaland Forum

mcdokwe:
Hello lady,

How are you doing? Read through your thread, hope you go the needed help?

Not yet oh.. But I am very much hopeful though

Liftmaster:
OP, I like this idea and can get behind it. So what have you decided to do? I see there is a job possibility out there along with the fashion apprenticeship. I may not be able to get on Naira land and check this thread everyday due to work commitments, so my responses may be few and far between. But the choice is yours as I have said. I really do not know how the DMs work here, but then, would like to keep things on here and in the open. No need to post a contact #. If and when you decide, all that's needed is your acct #

Thank you for your concern. For the Job opportunity, there isn't any that I have gotten for now. My decision is to go with what Thorpido has suggested, I think is better.

Sugargul:
Sorry about your experience. Where are you located? I have a job opportunity you might be interested in. Do let me know.

Thank you... I sent you a dm

thorpido:
How much does it cost to get a shop in the town where you are?
You may not be setting up a restaurant now but I still think your cooking business is feasible.I think you just need basic cooking utensils and a place to sell.....take away stuff.

To get a Shop where I stay can cost not less than 50k, according to the little research I made. So, setting up a restaurant can be estimated to cost a budget of 100 - 120k.

Liftmaster:
I've always suspected that the issues involved are beyond financial. Is there some other backstory we are not aware of? I'm sorry, but I can't offer you a job but can proffer some advice. The purpose of a job is first and foremost to provide income = running a business that generates profit. Can you try to convince your aunt that you can do this in a dignified manner suited to her tastes? I can see her being concerned about the "table and wheel barrow" modus operandi of your plan being that you are a graduate. After all, we Nigerians are a proud and somewhat haughty people. How about you come up with a plan to do this in a more established manner rather than the seemingly mobile/hawker format you currently have? I honestly think you have a better chance of succeeding if you go into this business, primarily because this is your choice and you seem to have an interest in it.
Your other alternative as you mentioned is to learn a trade. Have you thought through how this will work. How long before you are proficient and can start earning an income? What help do you need for this?
I am willing to help out financially, which I think may probably be the least of the issues involved. But you need to state exactly what you need and put some skin in the game by fighting for yourself. Think about this. You have been offered financing to pursue the business of your choice but your Aunt is the stumbling block. You need to figure out how to overcome this. But know this. I will still support you whatever way you decide to go. My only concern is that one way seems to have a better chance of success than the other.

The issue may be that as am staying in her house, I should not be using her kitchen to cook food that I will sell or something of that. Running the business in a more advanced way would require a lot of capital. Like renting of shop, buying chairs and table and other equipment. It would need a lot of money. It's true that Learning a trade would require time for me to learn and master before earning from it, but it would also be that, at least i have a handwork and i would be less available at home than it is now. In as much as i love to have a job, i can learn a skill . i am probably looking at Fashion designing, as it is what most people are learning and recommending. But I would also consider learning bakery maybe online on YouTube as the case may be. Please, Liftmaster, is there a way i can contact you? You are not replying your dms. I put down my number for you before, but i removed it as i started getting some funny msgs from some folks here.

mutter:
I'm sorry. I only received your mail afterward. I didn't put the bad network into consideration.
Please bear with me. After several scams in the past I have become sensitive.

It's ok. I understand. Thank you once again. I really appreciate it .

mutter:
I would like to understand why you didn't reply my second mail to you asking you to acknowledge the transfer I made to you.
This is the second time I am making this experience on Nairaland in a short while.

I replied you, ma. Check your inbox. Thank you so much. I did replied.could be network.

Liftmaster:
Thorpido, Thanks very much and God Bless you for doing this. I looked for this thread a few days ago but it seemed to have vanished.
I am willing to go ahead and help based on your validation. I will help financially, but I really do think that the biggest help the OP needs will be guidance (perhaps a life coach) and in addition a business mentor if going into the food business. I throw this out to the house. Is there someone who is experienced in this business that can mentor the OP in her business?
OP, please start by posting some details like your general location (city) so that anyone around you can reach out as a business mentor. Then let us know what you have decided to do. Do you want to pursue the food business as originally stated or go learn a trade? You previously posted details of what the business will entail so that's a good start. If you are looking at learning a trade, what help do you need? Post details, then you can post your account details if comfortable doing that so that I can reach out to you.

Thank you so much for opting to help me. I am so grateful. The thing is that I would have loved to go into the selling of cooked Food business because I know how to cook very well. But my Aunt has said I can't do such kind of business staying in her house. She suggested I should travel to the village to do such not in her house. Right now, I just need a Job honestly Speaking. Or to learn a trade. I can learn about Fashion designing. Thank you so much. Please, can i inbox you?

This story is funny aswear. What kind of Job requires been born again from another denomination? I don't understand. Are you sure the job is not scam all through? You never can tell.

Danzakidakura:
it's ok she can put her number up here I will call her. She should be willing to have hand work. I will pay house rent, and put her to learn hand work. Pls I don't do pm.

Wow, really? Thank you so much dear. By handwork you mean to learn a skill? Ok Sir.. I am willing to learn. I am so grateful.

cococandy:
It almost seems like you have decided that this your aunty should be responsible for you.
Do you have other relatives?

No dear.. She shouldn't be responsible for me. Am trying hard to break free from that situation. Thank you �

Ibechris2:
I am angry with u for seeing ur aunty as the source of ur problem...honestly,what effort have u made to report that guy to the welfare organisation so that he can share in the responsibility of taking care of the baby?

I know what it means to be pregnant at 8 months and still get enlisted into NYSC.

U are indeed a strong woman. How I wish u are in Abuja,I could possibly have assisted u but with the level of deceit and things like this cropping up all the time on this thread...am sorry,I must see before I could do anything,especially for the baby.

Thank you dearly � please what proof and evidence, do you need? I can send them.

SweetCunt97:
You should have outlined the business you intend going into, how much you'll need, add ur account number. Be grateful to that aunt of yours cos she gave u a roof over ur head.. And you actually need a man, it's a tough world trying to be a superwoman without a man sha.

Thank you dear. Honestly speaking, if I see a suitor who is ready to settle down, I will go for him. But, I am careful, as I do not want to fall in the wrong hand.

Liftmaster:
Let me give you some candid advice. I know this will be a difficult pill to swallow, but do not let your emotions cloud your judgement. I think you are putting the cart before the horse. First, you need to start thinking like a parent. This is no longer all about you. The "I wants" need to stop. You need to do what's best for your child. It is not yet time for you to leave your aunts house, at least not under the circumstance of having zero income. You want to start living on your own, but you first need to be in control of your own destiny. Start your business while under her roof with free accommodation. Work hard at it and let it grow and flourish then when you have steady income from it, you can rent your own place. Do not rely on any employer, person or charity to provide you free accommodation. Has this approach not failed already? Ensure you have an income to pay your own rent so you can provide a steady accommodation for you and your child. Start thinking about your child's future. School? What are your plans in this regard?

Your aunt has been very kind to allow you to come and go with your child as you please. She may be rough around the edges but she does have a goood heart. You even trust her enough to leave your child with her and relocate. For the sake of your child, stick it out there a little longer while she still has the will to accommodate you. And pray for this woman. Pray that God blesses her for her kindness towards you. Your prayers and gratitude may just be the key to your breakthrough. Finally, attitude matters. God sees the heart. You said and I quote "This aunt of mine thinks without her, I am nothing, I really want to prove her wrong." Take this as constructive criticism, but this is nothing but prideful and egoistic. Why is this your motivation as opposed to wanting to provide future opportunities for your child in a stable and conducive environment of your own?
Please provide details of your plan. There are folks willing to help you succeed.

Thank you for your advice. It is duly appreciated. And I will do entirely as you said.

If am to start foodstuff selling, I want to start as a retailer and in a small scale for now. The estimated budget am looking at is 60k. I intend to sell Garri, Tin Tomatoes, spicies, beans, Rice, Supergetti, and other minor ingredient. I will just make a shelve or table to start with. I will also need to purchase bowls, trays, basins, mudu, containers, etc.

And if am to start selling cooked Rice, beans, supergetii with stew early in the mornings, it is more cheaper as i can start with an estimated budget of 40k, i will need a wheelbarrow, coolers, umbrella etc.

And when i start the business, i will share the location, pictures and tell names of people that have helped me and my story eventually here.

The money might be a loan and tell me the stipulated time i will need to pay back. . Thank you so much.

Liftmaster:
This is very important information for the OP to note. The die is cast, but it can get worse if she gets pregnant again. Continuously sexually active or not, we all know that it only takes one time for a lady to become pregnant.

OP, having said that, like someone mentioned in a prior post, I think you need to start a small business or something along those lines so you can start contributing financially to the household. Your Aunt is probably irritated with you because you are contributing nothing at present. Develop a plan, present it here and you will probably get some support to get you started, myself included.

Thank you dearly. I do have a plan. But for now, I just want to leave her house and start living on my own. I want to start a foodstuff selling business or cooking of food like rice and stew and selling it early in the morning.

Blissquare:
Your written English is good. Don't worry, your problems would soon be over but while at it, don't let any man take advantage of your situation so that you don't go from frying pan to fire. Don't be upset with your aunt. If she wasn't kind, she won't take you in at all in your condition. It is hard to cohabit with anyone. Where is your location?

Thank you dear � I am currently in Abia State

adeadeyera:
Do you have any skills?
What can you do?
Answers to these questions might help you get you what to do in the meantime.

Send your account number anyway.

Thank you so much.

thorpido:
Young girls never learn

Take responsibility for you sexual wellbeing.First thing to master well is your reproductive cycle.There are periods in your cycle that are safe and some days are not safe.Master it well.
It is still possible to get pregnant any day of your cycle so have a back up plan.If your partner won't use a condome,you get a femdom.Get a spermicide or use a morning after pill or just get on long term contraception if you will regularly have sex.

Anyway,Op,it's a new account so....

I am a novice in sex-related matters. I can't remember when last I have had sex. Sex is the last thing in my mind. I have other bigger things I think of every day. Anyways, thank you for your advice, will see to it.

I have an old account, will inbox if you want.

UDUJ:
People should be very careful with brand new nairaland accounts seeking assistance. Over 90% of them are scammers.

This op created this account just yesterday. If you really need help use your real account.

Until proven otherwise, I see this as SCAM.

I am not a scam. I have an old account. I just don't want to be recognized. I can inbox you the account if you want.

mamaafrik:

God will see you through,try come up with a business plan to set yourself up and seek donation,that will help

I already have a business idea. I just want to get out of my aunt's house to start taking up responsibilities. It's the fund I lack.

Sage161:

I don't have a job to offer you but perhaps I can help with some advice. You're who you are due to the choices you made yesterday but that doesn't mean your life is over, Try harder to secure a job. Ask questions and search harder not underestimating the powerful spiritual support of God. I understand it may not be easy going through those challenges but in our darkest times, hope is what we give ourselves that tommorow would be better than today. That should be your inner strength. Don't lose it and don't ever assume there's no job. Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. I can see you're trying hard but I urge you to try harder and employ new tactics. We can't change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust our sails to reach our destinations. Furthermore, There is no market for your emotions, So never advertise your feelings, just display your best attitude. If you advertise your feelings, people might only want to take advantage of you. Sharing your problems with others doesn’t help rather people who took pity on u increases!!! It is sad but true.

Thank you for your advice �

mkoabiola:
New account.

I have an old account. I can inbox you if you want.

dingbang:
Cleaning services jobs are cool. But your acc is a new account. Quite a red flag

I have an old account. I just don't want people to recognise me. I can inbox you my old account if you want.

Danzakidakura:
Mmmmmm life. Do you have hand work, what can you do.do you have any trade skill ? You can put your account number so that people will support you with the little they have, then you can manage start a business not as you search for job.

I am thinking of doing business of selling food Stuff

yomi007k:
Life can be tough sometimes, I understand.

Please your aunt is in no way the cause of your problems and because she has her own don't mean you are entitled to anything. You are even lucky she chooses to help for if she doesn't, she has no obligation to do so.

You should look for the father of your child and try and get a way for him to support the child either you use the law or human rights. This is because you and your baby daddy started this and have to find a way to solve it.

As for you, you need to face responsibilities and solve your own problems by yourself.

We lost Contacts.. I don't know anything about him.

Demayour:
Wow... things humans experience

I don't have an offer to give out but I think I have something to say and I hope it makes sense to you.

Let's say this your aunt treats you and your daughter kindly, provides all that you need etc, would you want to live all your life depending on her?

Your answer is probably "no". This is why your mission should not be to quiet your aunt but to achieve a normal life for yourself and your daughter. When you think of achieving a better standard of living and fulfilling your purpose, I think you'd have more time to focus and escape from people who might want to exploit you.

May the right opportunity find you.

Amen.. And thank you

My story is a long one, but before I start, I just want you all to know that this is a true story, I am not a scammer. I can provide evidence and sign an agreement/undertaking if the need be.

I am a University graduate, I had a 2:1 in History and Strategic Studies and have completed my Youth Service.

I got pregnant in my final year, second semester for my boyfriend whom I thought loves me, but I was wrong. Our relationship was not really a serious affair as such, I met him in my 2nd year in Enugu. We were only chatting for a while before we first met in my 3rd year again. The relationship was a long-distance thing because he stays in Enugu and I was schooling outside of Enugu.

I can count how many times I have seen him, 6 times. The 6th was when I got pregnant, we have not met for 11 months, I was preoccupied with school and other stuff. Eventually, I visited. Like I knew what will happen, I warned him to use Condom but he said no, that whatever happens, he will take care of me.

I realized I was pregnant after 1 month, called him, but he said I should abort. I went to 2 pharmacies but they objected until I provide him to sign an undertaking. And I was in school, he was in Enugu. I was so scared, confused, and didn't know what to do. See my project coming, see exams, how I managed to scale through with the pregnancy, is still a miracle to me. I could remember carrying 8 months of pregnancy to Taraba State where I was posted for NYSC, I could still remember my swollen legs after the journey.

It was a terrible experience, I won't wish even my worst enemy to go through one bit of what I went through. Even after childbirth, I bleed for 6 weeks as a result of some leftover placenta. The sleepless nights, the cryings, the frustrations, the wretchedness, the shame. The whole time, my boyfriend was not in the picture. He stopped picking my calls. I visited him with my 8 months pregnancy, he sent me away and warned me never to come to look for him.

I have been staying with this aunt of mine all through my pregnancy, even did my NYSC in her house, I was reposted from Camp to Imo State. But it was not easy living with her. She is this person that complains about everything, even the food I eat. She contributed to my frustrations. I won't lie that she has helped me, but it was frustrating because she is too bitter towards me.

I completed my service and relocated to the village to stay with my parents. As of then, my daughter was 8 months old. I was doing all the village chores to survive with my child. But along the line, my mother died of a snake bite when my child was 1 year and 7 months. It was devastating!! I didn't think I could survive it, my mum had been a strong support and I was at peace staying in the village with her. I became a shadow of myself, I started working as a roadside sweeper. Sweeping express road early in the morning.

Things were not easy for me in the village since my mum passed away. I had to travel back to stay with that aunt of mine. God, it was hell living with her. I was enduring every tribulation I faced living in my aunt's house until I couldn't endure it further after a strong misunderstanding where she hauled insults at me calling me names even prostitute and reminding me that she is the one fending for me. I got angry and traveled to Abuja to my girlfriend's with my daughter. Things were not easy there as well, I didn't see any job to do. And no money, I had to travel back to the village.

I resolved to carry my cross the way I saw it. I kept reminding myself that I was paying for the sin of fornication. I was doing village chores and saving small money. I started applying for jobs online until I got a job in Enugu. I took my child to my aunt because there is nothing I could do and no one I could entrust my child with. And I needed to get out of that village that was turning me into an old woman.

So, as bitter as it is, I left my daughter to the aunt that has been a torn to my flesh. I started working in Enugu in a firm, the job came with accommodation. But, bearly working for just 5 months, Covid19 struck, I was laid off from the 20,000 naira job I was managing.

I went back to my aunt and daughter, since the Covid19. I have been Jobless and broke. It is frustrating with my aunt on my head constantly reminding me that I am doing nothing but eating. Sometimes, I starve myself so that she won't complain about the food. She picks at everything I do in the house. My presence irritates her, i don't have peace of mind at all, am scared and afraid.. I have even lost my self-esteem.

I am 26 years old, broke, homeless, no bussiness, and a child. My aunt is a big woman in a federal government job. She has a good job and earns good money but finds it hard to help, she complains and calculates everything she has done for somebody. Staying with her is like staying in hellfire. She is not married.


Please, I need someone to help me with a job that has accommodation and can require me to bring my 4 years daughter along. Please.. Or any suggestions that can help me to be a better version of my self. I need help. This aunt of mine thinks without her, I am nothing, I really want to prove her wrong. As I said, I am ready to provide evidence and sign an agreement if need be.