₦airaland Forum

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To Na2day CEASE COMMUNICATION

You know nothing about my life nor my educational background, so whatever point you are trying to establish is useless. Read the question and stick to the point!  If you don't understand my query, fine. Then ask me to elaborate, no problem.  However, discussing other issues is futile, so take your negativity and post your nugatory comments in another post. I have no tolerance to continue to argue with you over pointless assumptions. In addition, your negative view points are a waste of my time and because I am responding to your text, my energy, so our conversations is at an end. If you continue to post insulting comments, I will not respond. Furthermore, I will consider you to be an unstable person since you cannot follow my directions to CEASE FURTHER COMMUNICATION!

Enjoy your day.

To amhurting. Email me. What I tell you is for your ears only.

valleygirl99@hotmail.com

To na2day. I should have read my text before sending. Unlike some, I know how to express myself. I am educated. However, if you can't say something positive than don't say anything at all. I am ignorant not stupid. If you are so educated, you should know the difference.  Next time, choose who to attack with your insults wisely. Otherwise, you have a nice day.

Sometimes I do see a selfish side, but that selfish side surrounds every once in a while. However, I see a softest too. We rarely argue. He loves when I am romantic. We can talk about anything. When I say things, I know he is listening and if I tell him something. He does it. He includes god and family in most of his conversation. However, I take marriage very seriously. I understood why he married for the second time. In his mind, he thought he could have a better life in America, but was it right in the eyes of God. You see I don't know what the future holds. We might not be together next week. I just funny it interesting that he want me to become domestic. Sometimes I find him staring at me, like he is deep in thought. He has done that more than once. I have very experienced that.  I need to back off and sit on the side line and be a observer.

I don't fault him for the first wife because she left him, according to him. But we all know that there is two side to a story. The second wife I think he should have not married her for papers. I think that was very wrong of him. Could he be a good man involved in two fail marriages, possible. Could he be a bad man using people for his own selfish pleasure, possible. Sometimes he can be very sweet and at other times there's a selfish side of him. I know that no relationship is perfect and being hurt is part of life. My thought is a sit back and observe him more. I am going to spend time away from until I see what he is really after, if he is even after something.

I agreed Radiant. I was commenting on one of the comments made. Radiant, why are some so negative on this site?

Every relationship with a Nigerian will not turn out bad. If it does, it's just a learning experience. That can happen with any relationship from anyplace. I can read books. I can ask him questions, but it's better when you ask questions from people who are part of the culture.

I only know minor details about his wives.

One was from his homeland. She left and want to England. When she didn't return, he divorced her. The other woman is from America. He recently divorced her. He said that they only marry so that he could get his papers. But I thought that he should have waited and found a woman that he loved and stayed married. I know that he like me. However, he has very traditional ways. Yet, I am not traditional and it seems like he is trying to mold me. I keep telling him that I am not the housewife type, but he keeps mentioning that when I get marry that there are certain things I must do for my husband. He always puts himself in the picture and I am wondering is that the Nigerian culture.

Also we have been dating for 8 months. And to bluespice, I might not know what part of Africa my family comes from, but I am still black. And it the blacks in America that fought for the rights of other black people to be able to achieve many great things. so that gives me the right to post.

Most of his life was spent in Africa, but he's dated mostly white woman. He been married  to two black woman, and it seems like he is trying to mold me. I am trying to figure out what is his purpose. Of course, I could just ask him the question. Why is he trying to make me different than I am. But I am trying to see if that is part of his culture. To shape your women into house wives.

I am a African American woman dating a Nigerian guy. Let me tell you a brief story. Since he has been in America he has dated many white girl. He has been married twice both to black women. One from Africa and the other from America, so he has his paper. He told me that he doesn't want to marry a woman from his country because they are not romance. It's hard for me to believe that, but I guess anything is possible. He keep mentioning if I could marry a man like him. He is also trying to mold me into whatever he likes. First, I don't understand why he doesn't want to marry someone from his own country and I am wondering why he is trying to mold me and why he keeps talking about marriage. Is that part of a game he is playing?

I didn't know the site was only for Naija. Please forgive me.

Thanks OYB for your words of wisdom.

from all the negative responses. no wonder this post views naija men in a bad light. people never post anythng positve.

does it make a difference?

Refrain from posting,Just quietly read the posts on the subject matter and learn some lessons. If you do so, You won't be coming back here crying blue murder.



First of all, I am not stupid in the way of education, but naive to the way of African etiquette. The nigerian customs are different from American culture. I am an American woman dating a man from Africa. I have dated many American guys. I am not a bad looking girl. I get dates all the time. Don't ever think that I have to settle for this guy. I do have other options. I didn't mention this before, but I know a lot of women who are living with their boyfriend and they end up marrying them (meaning the guy is taking care of the girl). On the same token, I know guys that don't marry their girlfriend who are not staying together. Everyones situation is different. Some of you guys seen so tough, but I know some girls that could easily tame that.  Not every girl end up being dumped and hurt. You guys sometimes become victims of love too. Never forget that.

You don't know me. I won't be crying. I will keep it moving and just date someone else. Relationships are relationships. You live and you learn, but it's the way that you bounce back which is so important. I won't be the first girl who got dumped and he won't be the last guy who got dumped. People move on all the time. That's life.

So he could be trying to turn me into his at-home-lover. That could be true, and yet the way he looks at me is diferent than before. It's warmer. Men are funny. You never know what's on their minds.

I have no clothes at his house. Is anyone listening to me? No clothes. He just asked.

To am alone

What is a fing contract?

I am not moving in with the guy. I haven't even left anything at his home. He asked which made me think about his intentions.

First of all, I am not moving into his home. I have an apartment that I am happy with. Secondly, I don't sleep around. Thirdly, people can think that you are a LovePeddler if you sleep with them in seven days or seven months. It depends on how that person likes you. Some people have married after knowing each other for three days and they are still married. Some people have dated for many years and they are still not marry. Every relationship is different. We have slept together a couple of times, but we didn't have sex. I know about men from the US, but are not sure about men from other countries. Right now I am getting to know him better. When I feel like he is trying to make me his personal LovePeddler, I am out. I am not here to satify a persons sexual pleasures. However, I do see a change in him. He has started treating me different, more warmer. Asking me to leave my clothes at his home, kind of knock me off balanced. My child like personality made me respond without thinking and I made a comment about leaving something else, but when I got home. I started thinking about what he asked me to do. And the way he looked at me was softer  But you never know with guys. However, I am the type of girl who is not afraid of walking away from a relationship even if I love this person. And that's real talk.

I am wondering if he wants our relationship to turn into something more serious. We are dating now and we have been dating from 2 months. I stay at his house last night and this morning he mentioned that I could leave my clothes. I think he's getting comfortable with me staying over his house. What do you think?

Last comment was addressed to Sissy.

In ever culture, you can find men that are possessive. But in some culture, you might find a common traits. Example: Asian women are more submissive the most women, not saying that they all are. Just a large number of them. Due to their culture.

In a bad way. The guy I am seeing is nice looking. I am going to get to know him regardless of my friends, but it would be nice to know about the culture from someone who is Negerian and not have to read about the culture. I am very open minded regarding this relationship. It's very new. He has been in America for some years and I believe he knows our culture, but since I have never dated a man from Africa. I do not know his culture.

I don't need luck. I need answers.