₦airaland Forum

Look at the kind of change APC has brought to Nigerians.

Please laugh with me; *A PLANE WAS ABOUT TO CRASH AND THERE WERE ONLY FOUR PARACHUTES IN THE PLANE,MEANWHILE THERE WERE FIVE PEOPLE IN IT. THE FIRST PERSON WAS CRISTIANO RONALDO,HE SAID "I AM THE BEST FOOTBALLER I CANT DIE NOW" SO HE TOOK 1 PARACHUTE AND LEFT. THE SECOND WAS ALIKO DANGOTE SAID "I AM THE RICHEST MAN IN AFRICA AND I AM TOO YOUNG TO DIE".SO HE TOOK THE SECOND PARACHUTE AND LEFT. THE THIRD WAS PRESIDENT BUHARI AND HE SAID "I AM THE SMARTEST PRESIDENT THAT NEVER WENT TO SCHOOL IN THE WHOLE WORLD,SO I CANT DIE NOW MY PEOPLE STILL NEED ME".HE TOOK ONE AND LEFT. THEN IT WAS LEFT WITH GOODLUCK AND A SMALL GIRL..........THEN JONATHAN SAID TO THE LITTLE GIRL .."TAKE THE LAST ONE I WILL SACRIFICE MY LIFE FOR YOU. THE LITTLE GIRL REPLIED "NO NEED FOR THAT .THERE ARE TWO PARACHUTES LEFT. WITH SHOCK AND SURPRISE JONATHAN ASKED HER."HOW COM?". THE LITTLE GIRL REPLIED"BUHARI TOOK MY SCHOOL BAG THINKING IT WAS A PARACHUTE...........

If we are not thugs then what are we?. Our military is an example of what he said.

I hope Buhari is included?.

I am not surpise about the crowd disorder issue,so Fifa is expecting crowd inorder in Nigeria when our visitors think they are here to misbehave?. They haven't seen it yet because South Africans and other African countries think they can intimidate Nigerians anyhow,you can insult us in your country but if you try it here then you are on your own bcaus we may be divided as a people but will stick together as a country to bully anyone that tries to humiliate us in Nigeria. If not because of the bad leaders this country had produced no African state will dare insult Nigerians letalone touching them.

If you believe restructuring is the only avenue to a better Nigeria then you need to believe that Nigeria has no problem atall. The problem of Nigeria is the constitution,a constitution that was purposely made to favour the elite,a constitution that has no regards to the happiness of a common man. Believe me,the unity of this country has expired and to regain such unity a new constitution need to be establish via a conference that will allow the participants to determine if existing as one nation is still part of their dream. We cannot live together when you regard me as a low-class citizen,if you want togetherness then respect and regard me as a part of you.

Be vice president when Buhari never finish his tenure?. Nwodo,i will advice u to pack well before Buhari will visit u with DSS,EFCC or even Operation Pyton dance

Is Nigeria not among the ancient africans?. Nigeria is one of the most industrious ancient community in africa but due to current leadership mismanagement the ancient achievement made by our fore-fathers is seen as a fraud by other countries. I have never seen a country with the kind of human resources we have yet we are still living in 19th century.

I will not click the link because i am not interesting to know who is accussing Buhari,Nigerians voted him and they must enjoy/suffer his leadership/rulership till 2019

I disagree. You want her to beat the hell out of me if i cheat on her. I refuse to agree

Truth is light and when it is time to shine,darkness will disappear.

women

TYPES OF HUSBANDS

MR. MONKEY Mr. Monkey is only married on paper but in reality he is still a bachelor. He married because of some family pressures, maybe impregnating the girl out of wedlock. Monkey is not responsible, he doesn’t realize he is now a man and has a wife and child(ren) to look after. He still hangs around with his bachelor friends. They go out, drink and be merry with young girls and his car pumps out loud music, it’s actually a mobile disco. His house is like a lodge to him, he only comes home to sleep. He sleeps out once in a while and has his friends to testify to his wife that he slept at their place after drink or when the car had broken down. He is really a nuisance to the family.

MR. LION He is very violent and is always boiling like acid and suffers from mood swings. His home is run through intimidation and dictatorship. There are strict rules and regulations for the wife and children and whoever breaks these is thoroughly beaten. His home is run like a high school. There are strict meal times and heavy padlocks at the gate. He takes pride in being in charge and behaves like a high school perfect. Half the time he is engaging in compensatory behaviour; verbally and physically abusing his wife and children to compensate for his inadequacies elsewhere especially at the workplace.

MR. GORILLA This one wants to be treated like an “Igwe’’ (a King). He treats his wife and children like his subjects. He wants the wife and children to perform some traditional respect gestures. He doesn’t want to be called by his first name. The children found out his first name by mistake on a utility bill and they enjoy using this name when he is away and they are gossiping about him. When his food is served, the wife kneels and puts food in front of him and she retreats two metres and kneels again and announces that she has brought the food, as if he is not aware. He eats from plates that have lids. Only the wife knows what he is eating. The children don’t. Gorilla has a strong rural background and has a number of beasts at his rural home/farm, where he goes almost every weekend. The cattle are his friends, they are more important than the wife and children for he spends most of his free time with them than with the family. The cattle are not sold to improve his life; he delights in seeing them multiply and enjoys the numbers. He’s a very stingy man.


MR. COCKEREL He is that man who has a soft spot for women. They are his friends, just friends; he has no relationships with them. He is a husband for every women; he doesn’t want to see a woman cry and is given to caring for these other women than his own wife. He gives these other women more than his wife in terms of his resources and time. At the work place, the women know him and they take advantage of him and take loans they never payback.

MR. BABOON He is very selfish, he thinks about himself first before the family. He is the best dressed in the family. His favourite word is ‘my’. Everything is HIS – my car, my house, my wife, my children, my trees, my lizards (those that hang around his house). He is a very greedy man. He is heavily involved in what happens in the kitchen, even knows how may slices are in a sliced loaf of bread and how many oranges are on his orange tree. He doesn’t consider the emotions of the wife and the children. He is a dry man with no sense of humour and he rarely smiles and takes life too seriously.

MR. FOX He is a very cunning man. He doesn’t care much about the marriage. He uses his wife to solve his own personal and extended family problems. He knows his wife’s weaknesses and capitalizes on these to use the wife for his personal gain. When he needs the wife to do something, he is friendly and ‘loving’ and when he gets what he wants he relapses to his usual dry self. His habits are very fast and his eyes swift, he won’t look at you directly in the eye, speaks very fast as if he is reciting a poem. It’s not clear what exactly he does for a living but he is always in town running from one corner to the other.

MR.TICK Is a very lazy husband. He lives off his wife; he is literary hanging on his wife’s skirt. He’s stuck to the wife because of her money. He is dependent on the wife as much as the children. He is very loving in his own way – fond of calling the wife all sorts of little nothings, honey, sweetheart, sweety, lovely and all but will siphon money off the wife and spends it with other women. He has no initiative and has negated his role as a bread winner in the family.

MR. PUPPY This is a husband who is a cry baby, very childish and irresponsible. He is mummy’s boy. Behaves as if he is married to his mother. He cannot make a decision without consulting his mother (and sisters). His mother and sisters run his home and family. He is always comparing his wife to his mother and expects the wife to behave like his mother. It is rumoured behind closed doors that maybe the mother bewitched him to make him 'loyal’ to her. His sisters are busy trying to get him girlfriends from among their friends so that they will even spend more time with him through frustrating his wife. A very useless husband.

MR. PYTHON There is the visiting husband. Mr. Python, a rare species. His house is a lodge. He only comes to sleep. Leaves home when the children are still sleeping and comes back when they are in bed. He is always at work or making ‘deals’ to make money but unfortunately he has no time for his family. He does provide materially for his family but he is always absent.

MR. ELEPHANT Finally there is Mr. Elephant, the man who is caring and loving and provides for his family. He will not allow anything to come between him and his family and will fight tooth and nail to protect his family. He tries his best to fend for his family but only through honest means. He spends most of his spare time with the family and guides his family spiritually as well. A very responsible man who treats his wife as a partner and cares for the welfare of his in-laws. He values the children as God given gifts to be cherished, with no gender bias.

*TYPES OF HUSBANDS:*

1: *BACHELOR HUSBAND* Does things on his own without consulting wife. Hangs out a lot with friends more than wife. Not serious about marriage life.

2: *ACIDIC HUSBAND.* Is always boiling like acid and always angry violent, moody, dominating and very dangerous.

3: *SLAVE HUSBAND* Wants to be treated like a King but treats Wife like a Slave. Likes wife to perform old tradition respect and hates being called by their first name.

4: *GENERAL HUSBAND* Husband for every woman. loves and cares for girlfriends more than his wife. Likes giving money to girlfriends and has more female friends.

5: *DRY HUSBAND* Very moody and stingy, doesn't consider wife's interest, doesn't make the relationship enjoyable. Has no sense of humor.

6: *PANADOL HUSBAND* Uses wife as problem solver, only loves wife when in need of something from her. He's clever and knows wife's weaknesses and capitalizes on that to get relief from wife.

7: *PARASITE HUSBAND.* Lazy and only loves wife for the sake of money. Uses wife's money on girlfriends. No initiative and does not help wife with house responsibilitie s.

8: *BABY HUSBAND* Irresponsible and childish and can't make decisions on his own without asking his mother or relatives; subjects wife to relatives dictates thereby running to them when things go wrong.

9: *VISITING HUSBAND* Not always at home, comes as a visitor. Provides family all material things but has no time for them.

10: *CARING HUSBAND* Caring and loving; he provides material and emotional needs and makes time for family. He guides home spiritually. Very responsible and treats wife as partner and helper.

Dear brothers, which type of husband are YOU? And for the sisters, which is your's?

I will miss you all so much, I will finally be moving to Canada next week.....Thank you so much for being there for me.Am going there to further my education and have a peaceful life. I will be off Nigeria on the 24th of june ....Please note down my new number +1408337490 keep doing great things, sorry for the short notice but I promise to be in touch with you all, Just beep me anytime and i will be available on WhatsApp, IMO,and Skype. I will miss you all especially my good friends Lalasitlala,mynd4. Please tamper justice with mercy....THAT WAS THE DREAM I HAD THIS NIGHT.

As for me,I will kill her first by buying a poisonous suya for her

QEUSTION: What will you do if you are her
father? A girl mistakenly sent an sms to her
father saying: "sweetheart i don't want to
abort this pregnancy, because i might damage my
womb, don't forget that this is the 5th
pregnancy i have aborted for you. Don't worry i
am preparing my parent's food i will poison
them both so that we can acquire their
properties for our selves alone.

Cheating is very bad and painful.

I hate cheating and will not forgive a cheating partner but it is better to know exactly what lead your partner to misbehave. I could remember when such a thing happened to me,my girl (18 yrs old and she was a virgin when i met her) was dating a married man (29 yrs old),she was lured into the relationship with the idea of casual friendship,the man later invites her to his house when the wife traveled and my girl honored the invitation. She was living in my house when this incident happened. Although she did not have sex with that guy the first day she visited him. One week later I traveled to China to buy goods,I came back one month later and couldn't suspect anything because she changed to the best and I was happy for more of her beautiful character. Two days later I had s^x with her and I felt like somebody have entered into my Paradise but I couldn't do anything because I don't want to accuse her.On the 4th day she came to me and was pleading to know if I have a girlfriend apart from her,I was surprise because she knew I am the kind that take business first before any other thing,I calmed down and I asked her why the question, she was looking shocked, I kept quiet and was looking at her with admiration, I beg her to tell me her sins, she began to cru and she kneeled and said she cheat on me,I was shocked, I asked her how many times she did it,she said it was only twice, I ask her to tell me how it happened and she said that I never pay her attention and at the same time never give her the attention she need,she said that I took things serious and never allow her to touch me and it was the reason for her action although she never wish to have sex with the guy until the guy took her the his house the second day and he forced her,she said. that she was shocked and afraid and 3 days after the incident the guy called her and told her that he is very sick and that was what took her to his place again and he forced her for sex which he later had his way and since then she refused to visit him again , I slap her and I demands for the guys number, I called the guy and I told him to answer my question sincerely or I will expose him to his wife,the guy confirmed that it was only twice. My girl told me that she was confused by listening to the Guy's treacherous statement and I forgave her and will marry her in 1 month time

Who is deceiving who?

*A wonderful & useful piece of history for the fear mongers.* For the uninformed, nations split b'cos of linguistic, cultural, etc. divergence leading in time to culturally-defined communities that are sufficiently distinct from one another to be classed as different nations. It is not always all about war! In 1776, the USA split from the UK In 1830 Belgium seprataed from the Netherlands In 1965, Singapore split off from Malaysia in 2002, East Timor got split off from Indonesia In 1921, Ireland split off from the United Kingdom, & (possibly in the future) there will be secession of Scotland. In 1944, Iceland split from Denmark with remarkable ease. In 1905 Norway split from Denmark. In 1905, Norway & Sweden also peacefully split ways. One got the car. the other got the kids. In 1947, the British India Dominion was partitioned into India n Pakistan . In 1971, Bangladesh secceeded from Pakistan. In 1992-93, the two parts of Czechoslovakia agreed to each go their own way. Thus were born the Czech Republic & Slovakia after what's been named the “Velvet Divorce”., About the same time, another kind of separation occurred, of course, in Yugoslavia. This one led to a bloodshed. in 1965, Singapore split from Malaysia for a variety of reasons, including religious (Malaysia is majority Muslim, Singapore isn't), ethnic/racial (Singapore has a very large majority Chinese population) and concerns over the Malaysian Bumiputra policy, which was (and is) basically a form of "Affirmative Action" for Muslim Malaysians - who make up the majority population in Peninsular Malaysia. Ethiopia & Eritrea Sudan & South Sudan are now separate countries USSR is now broken down into several countries. Nigeria is also towing the same path to separation! *IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT WAR!*

Mr man,I am tired of living together with Hausa/Fulani people and what I need now is to be free from murderers. These people can kill for no reason,they are pathetic and are seeing me and my fellow Igbo brothers and sisters as slaves. I cannot be a slave in a country I see as my home,my final destination and my place of safety. Please we need referendum but if Hausa/Fulani people think they can intimidate us with war,let them bring it on,we are ready and I am %100 ready to die fighting for freedom than to be slaughter like a cow.

These men are beggars and do not refer to them as our leaders. A true leader is one who knows how to prevent diseases instead of seeking for a solution to cure it

Billyonaire:
A US Court has no jurisdiction over Nigerian Affairs - This is the true Anthem that will get the Anti-IPOBs masturbating mentally. But let me tell you something I know. The Media Mass that this judgement will cause, will bring the cameras of the American Press to torch-light every aspect of the injustice of Nigeria against Biafra.

Let us not forget that Biafra was once a country, with its central bank and government and standing army. The new generation of Biafrans are smarter and are using Diplomatic Channels and are constitutionally following the laws of the land. Freedom of Assembly and Freedom of Speech which is a Constitutional Provision is what they used, YET the Hausa-Fulani Pro-Nigeria Military killed these innocent protestors who want nothing but an Identity - A respect to their name, they want a country of their own. It is a natural Law.

The Media attention that this court case will get, and the criticism that the opposition will air, will give other Biafrans the conviction to proceed to The Hague. Then the next phase will be REFERENDUM.

Now I see a man who knows what international Justice is all about.

We cannot leave together with people who have no regards and respect,people who believed that without them we cannot exist,people who can kill for no reason and people who does not share the same culture, norms and value with us. F^ck One Nigeria!

Ask your mother

The Military man must be Hausa/Fulani man. This
people reason like animals,they can kill without a
reason. I wonder what this world would have
been like if Hausa/Fulani man is God. Born to kill
mentality.


You want to kill the Igbo's but the God that pass
una god go turn una eyes to kill una brother at
sight,na una go de kill una self. Una don't
provoke the Igbo God.

The Military man must be Hausa man. This people reason like animals,they can kill without a reason. I wonder what this world would have been like if Hausa/Fulani man is God. Born to kill mentality.


You want to kill the Igbo's but the God that pass una god go turn una eyes to kill my brother at sight,na una go de kill una self. Una don't provoke the Igbo God.

Nonsense!.