₦airaland Forum

During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"

This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do!

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got."

The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"

This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.

This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month."

This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"

This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.

This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks!

So who are the real robbers here?

angelo1111:
Dear house, I have been dating my girl for a while and we plan to get married. We did our introduction last month, and her family gave me a list. On the list[i][/i], they wrote (Bride Price - Nil) and that got me wondering if its possible to get married without paying bride price. Please I need reasonable contributions only. Thanx

It is more than possible.
If the family says no bride price, then they mean no bride price.
All you have to do is buy what's on the list to pacify the elders and relatives.........shikena

I'm talking from experience.............it's a family thing

shakazuldadon:
lol.. you must be a pastors daughter

me na pastor ooooooo

Dioxidane:
So I went for a job interview/test today at a manufacturing company and a very hilarious/scary scene played out before me.

I woke up in the morning and my head was banging like a 2 by 2 plywood was hit on it. Even the panadol I took did nothing to relieve me - the headache was dancing 'skelewu' around it.

When I got to the company and after normal security checks for invitations, I went in and saw others that were also invited. I realized that I was the last person to come in 'cos no other person came after me.

I did a head count and we were 20 persons - 13 guys and 7 ladies. And yeah, the 'chicks' were fine like hell.

I wasn't in any mood to 'chyke' any girl because of my headache, so I went on 'lock-up' mode, after all I came for a job test not to scoop girls. Other sharp guys were already in intimated conversations with some of the ladies.

Not too long after I came in, two men came and ushered us into a conference room. 'Damn, this is what I call a 5-star conference room', I thought.

The conference room was so posh and it's air conditioning could freeze ones brains out. The setting of the company was pristine, with everywhere looking so upper class. I never knew there were companies like that in Nigeria apart from oil companies. I even saw an 'ATM plaza' in the company! Imagine! I told myself I was going to get a job in that company whether the devil was comfortable with it or not.

After pep talks and collecting our CV's, the two men began distributing the test questions. There were 30 questions in all and we were to answer them in 1 hour. It was boldly written on it. 'Wow, very organized coy', I thought.

Looking at the questions, I was shocked! I knew the answers to some questions, I forgot the answers to some, I could manipulate some, but there were some I just didn't know!

I raised my head and realized the two men were no more in the conference room and the door was shut. The whole room was silent. I guess the others realized it at that same point, 'cos they began raising their heads and the guys that already had rapports with some of the ladies, in wanting to be 'caring', began asking the ladies if they could answer the questions and that if they didn't know any, they should simply ask.

Moments later, different talks began flying around in whispers: 'Do you know the answer to number 13?' 'I thought it's supposed to be on quantitative analysis.' 'No, it's qualitative analysis.' 'How do convert that value to inches?' 'Jeez, I've forgotten that formular'. 'I think it's height times r square'. 'Are you sure?' 'I can't remember exactly, but it should be something like that.'

I was still on 'lock-up' mode so I didn't talk to anyone. I just concentrated on my test while listening to words flying around, hoping that the answers to the ones I didn't know would drop.

I also wondered why we were left without supervision. 'Or was there a camera in here?', I thought. I looked around and saw a contraption in the ceiling, blinking a red light. It definitely didn't look like a camera!

We've already spent 30minutes. I had answered about 15 questions - the ones I was sure of. I looked around and saw some guys browsing on their phones, obviously checking the answers online. And being 'good guys', they were dishing out answers to some ladies too. 'Damn you PHCN!', I thought. I had already answered the questions I knew. I should have checked the others online and gotten the answers easily. I would have even had the opportunity to confirm the ones I had already answered. The battery in my phone was flat!

The lady sitting beside me was feeding off answers from the guy beside her. I was about asking her if she had answered (or 'obtained' the answer) to question 22 when the two men who issued the test walked in with 4 fierce looking security officers.

'You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, stand up!' One of them barked out. I was shocked! 8 persons were asked to stand up and I was among the 'yous'. And to think I didn't talk to or with anyone and I didn't cheat in any way, I was beginning to get angry.

The next words I heard were a relieve. 'The rest of you, drop your scripts and get out! Your test is over!'



Jeez, so they watching us after all! Some began begging, especially the ladies, but the sight of the fierce officers man-handling one of the guys that wanted to protest their action did something to calm their nerves.

Few minutes later, the conference room was quiet again. One of the men told us we had 15 minutes more and they left almost immediately. We were 6 guys and 2 ladies left. When they left, I looked around and everyone concentrated on his or her work. I was already done with the ones I knew and manipulated the ones I could.

Exactly 15minutes later, the men came and collected our scripts and told us they would get back to us.

I did my best. I pray I scale through, but I learnt a very vital lesson which other job seekers too could learn. I'm not going to mention the lessons. Decipher it yourself.

Lest I forget, try watching the movie 'THE EXAM' if you've not already done so.

Dioxidane

cc: Igwe Lalastica

From the start i actually thought you were telling the movie in your own words....................hmmmm, interesting...........that movie is creepy

During church service this 16 year old pastor's daughter stood up and said, "Praise the Lord!". Everybody happily responded, "Halleluyah". She continued, "since my tender age of 13, I've really been experiencing monthly period with so much pain. But now, after a series of Bible Studies and prayers with brother Prince, our Sunday School teacher in his house, my monthly periods have ceased for more than 3 months now; no more painful menstruation. You can see I am even getting fatter and prettier. Praise the Lord!" The pastor fainted.

Unibenstudent:
Nigerian girls now rock double piercings,and I saw her today and the first taught I had about her was that she was a runs girl.

Shallow minded.................some do it just because they want to or that they fancy it.

Mind you, some men ask their wives to even pierce their tongues........#NigerianMen#

How you see it is not their business oga

princemol:
for the genius!

24*4= 96

Zellie:
The person that took the picture should be flogged

GBAM!!!!!!!!

GodMode:
Or maybe the sun...

You're religious..

Most religious people are gullible...

ROTFLMAO

chizzy86:
Mikwus. No need to argue. Science discovers new stuff everyday. They want to stick to the old times. Leave them o jare. I've already said my own. OP should advice his friend so he doesn't do what he's going to regret in future.

thanks

Exactly......OP should advice him wella 'cos he already wronged the woman by accusing her wrongly. I wonder why people cannot TRUST their wives

GodMode:
the moon is the biggest star..

Yes, I can't.. Cos I don't believe lies that u yourself have never experienced..

Get your facts right..............The moon the biggest star Choi!!!!!!!

You don't know me, so speak for yourself

GodMode:
I may be African but that does not mean I'm stu:pid and gullible

Its still LIES..

No wonder your goal is the moon when you should be aiming for the stars
SMH

Please don't discourage those already on the verge of finding out what these conditions could be, well, you can't

GodMode:
Lies... Its impossible.

SS + SS = DISASTER.. not AA..

Like i said VERY RARE..........I still maintain that it has happened and will happen again, we always think we know all the answers, but life itself is a mystery

Don't call what you have never seen or experienced lies

FactorVIII:
1. it is very possible, wad used as a case study in one of my classes here in LUTH
2. the fact that one is 'AA' doesn't mean there isnt a gene deletion somewhere in the globin chain . (hemoglobin is made up of globin and heme )
3.such deletion is transmissible and if it combines with HB S (which in this case is from the mother ) , will result in sickling
4. when tests (hb electrophoresis, sickling test )are carried out on the man, they will appear normal as it takes DNA analysis to detect the deletion
5. almost certain this is what happened as a paternity test ruled out infidelity
6 . hope I am clearer.

please tell them.........It's science.....It has happened before and will happen again

Demichaels:
My friend's 10 year Marriage is about to collapse.

His, my friend's genotype is AA and his wife's genotype is AS but their 4 year old daughter has been confirmed to have SS genotype by not less than 4 different medical experts. He confronted the wife and accused her of infidelity but she vehemently denied having any affair with another man. In other to prove her wrong, my friend subjected the little girl to a paternity test and there he got the shock of his life - the result showed he actually is the father of the girl. At first he accused the doctor of compromise because he is their family doctor and somehow relates to the wife. He then decided to go to another hospital to prove the paternity of the girl child there and then he got another shocker - the first result was actually correct. As It stands, my friend has consulted more than five other doctors outside the state of his residence and all Confirmed that the girl's genotype is SS and he actually is the father of the child despite his and the wife's genotype being as stated above. Even the doctor's are confused by the results as it negate conventional medical norm.

My question now is, experts in the house, is there anything that can lead to such unconventional biological flaw? Under what condition can AS and AA couple have an SS child? Can mutation lead to such condition? My friend insists on divorce because he doesn't believe the wife. Should he go ahead based on what we all know about genotype?


Please I need matured advice on this. This is a REAL LIFE SITUATION AND NO FICTION. I WOULD HAVE MENTIONED NAMES AND ADDRESS OF THE COUPLE BUT I DON'T HAVE THEIR PERMISSION YET. THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN PORT HARCOURT OLD GRA WE'RE LIVING

It's a mystery but it happens for real.
Just as people of SS genotypes who are married can have children with AA genotypes...............happens but very rare.

It's science.........genetics is one of the craziest science i've ever come across.
It has to do with a gene that has been dormant but strong enough to have crept up now.

I don't know how to explain it fully, even the doctors won't do it except they see a renowned geneticist

The man should calm down abeg

Twistaray:
When you people say yoruba don't travel did/do you mean to SE or worldwide?
Hmmm

Bros leave that London matter.
Where again una de apart from there?

Meanwhile, you don't know anywhere else besides your village and Lagos (for those that go to their village ooo)

Nigeria is beautiful........really cutiefull

francizy:
LoL, bro you are far from the truth.. There's this business mind Igbos have such that what they do to a Yoruba man is same thing they do to Igbos. If an Igbo man sells a car $5,400 to a Yoruba man, he will sell same car for that amount or more to an Igbo man. If you speak Igbo to him, he will cut the price from the $6,000 he intended selling it to you and sell for $5,400 claiming that a Yoruba man just purchased same car from him at $6,200.

When it comes to business for an Igbo man, business remains business (no siblings/brother in his business place). But an Hausa man may sell a car for $5,400 to other tribes and sell same car for as low as $4,200 even if his gain is just $200.

A Yoruba man will sell $5,400 to others and sell for about $5,000 to another Yoruba man. So this is just the difference. Don't think because an Igbo man sold something costly to you, then he drops the price for another Igbo man..

I wish you can speak Igbo fluently so you make the findings yourself. You will be amazed.

So true oo

I'm an entrepreneur, i no sabi brother or sister when it comes to my money ooo not to talk of friend
Friend ko, friend ni

So many misconceptions about easterners, get closer and find out for yourselves and stop living and breathing ignorance

kernel504:

I've heard this quote a million and one times, and so... today l decided to reply the ignorance. The Chinese, Americans, Japanese, Germans don't come to Nigeria because we have better facilities or social amenities more than them, but they see opportunities in our ignorance, so don't ask the Igbo man why he's in Lagos. NOTE Why did you fight him not to go when he wanted to go?
Ten top world economy are exporters, they sell to others, not to themselves.
Don't behave like a child, Lagos is Yoruba land till tomorrow, but was developed by Nigerian common wealth.

Thank you for this

Sheer ignorance and nothing more.

Perhaps he's just so angry that a hard-working Igbo man married his girlfriend

saintfizzo:
When U look for the good in ur fellow man rather than looking for mistakes... life tastes a lot betta... it's fun crossing over to enjoy other cultures, tribalism wld only rob us the joy of sharing our diversity... thumbs up OP

On point

eaglechild:
This thread will soon catch fire.

This is an eye opener for the narrator.

I think the Swesterners are the least travelled in Southern Nigeria. Many of them. know nothing about life outside their region.

I will encourage them to try and explore the world outside their cocoon.

Thank goodness for NYSC.
It helps for some exposure though a little.

I couldn't agree more.

They are the[b] least traveled[/b] and the most to speak against other tribes.
You need to hear them talk in camp, you will feel so ashamed. Come to think of it, na only Lagos most of them sabi ooo.

Many of them still run back instead of using that one time opportunity(NYSC) to explore, they might never get the chance again, "who knows".
Just shows how shallow-minded they are

How do explain when a Nigerian Police officer arrests you and
checks your phone and just at that moment, a text
message comes in from your friend saying

"Abeg, if you dey come, buy 1 AK-47 and 4 bullets make we take dey jolly well
before we go out tonight".

How do you explain to the police that your friend meant a Vodka (AK-47)
and 4 Energy Drinks (Bullet)

To make matters worse, your friend's name is
Robert and you saved it as "ROB-1". Oya start to sort am out

Yes! You guessed right
It's MLM with a difference

whatsapp 08059034939
BBM 7EF1655A


I'm really getting paid to look GOOD GREAT

AgapeCharis:
and hw about he got to knw through some means. Dt wouldn't be nice.

I go with 100% transparency tho. So she can knw the person she's down with and see if she really loves me. Love is choosing to stay with someone irrespective of whatever he/she has done in d past




Buh u gat work on ur maturity tho. Sometimes, people lie to us nt because dey want to or because dey've got some hidden agenda. They do cos they are afraid u wouldn't be able to handle the truth.

You're so right.
Sometimes even keeping quiet about somethings can be misunderstood as lying about it, when all you needed was time to know if the person can handle the truth and it happens especially when you are so scared it could mar the relationship.


So sad though

I go with 100% transparency but not all at once, depending on whatever it is, it could throw your partner off balance..............so, one at a time, as you get to know each-other step by step

Evina:
@geekybabe: I know most of the responses you got to your predicament are from mature and married posters.

I just want to give my suggestion based on my personal experience.

I will be getting married in May. It ought to have being on the 28th of March, but elections in Nigeria made us move the date.

My fiance and I started dating in 2006. I already had my first degree then and preparing for NYSC, while he was studying to be an engineer. By the time he had his B.Sc, I already had a few years work experience.

Like you, I am very driven. I started a business at 20. I am one of those people that can start 5 projects, run a business at the side while holding down a job and still think of fresh new opportunities to explore. He was laid back, I had to push him to always go for more.

In fact, I did not have a problem with being the bread winner until the Holy Spirit convicted me and told me I was subtly placing a curse on my intended. I mean it is NOT the place of a woman to be the SOLE provider. She is the helpmeet, the support system. The bible says a man who cannot provide for his family is worse than an infidel!

When I got that understanding, I revamped my mindset. I showed him the scripture, and told him. You know me. You know how driven I am and you know I will not let myself be limited by a man. I will not soft pedal on achieving my dreams because I don't want you to feel inadequate, so you need to sit up.

Then, I began to find ways to push him towards accomplishing his goals. While he was awaiting NYSC, I was the PR manager in a school. I organized the annual Christmas party, which was unlike any the school ever had. We had sponsors and media coverage. He is a great dancer and had a group in school, so I suggested he should consider training the students in dance;salsa, ballet etc. He was excited. I proposed the idea to the board and he was hired as the choreographer. He did an EXCELLENT job!

Next, I had an idea for weddings, talked to him about it and we made business cards. He was the MD and I Business development manager. Our biggest client was from him. (An aunt of his).

Shortly, he went for NYSC and I secured another job in another city. I developed his resume and would check for jobs online, write cover letter and apply on his behalf.

Now, several years after. I am AMAZED at the man he has become! I am soo proud of him. He is a sales Engineer, confident, driven and dedicated. He once told me he used to think he couldn't get a job without connections. But now, he doesn't think there's any interview he'll go for that he wouldn't scale through. I remember, I used to prep him for interviews back then.

I asked him recently, where that unmotivated, timid guy was, and he gave me one kind look. LOL. Now, I don't have to do any of those work I used to do because he is on top of his game.

I really thank God because even his mum, turned around and loved me when she saw the direction her son's life was headed and realized he was at his best with me in his life.

In summary, I just want to say, we should endeavor to make an impact in the lives of people we encounter. 9months is too short to give up on him. Give it your best, if it means finding time to search for jobs with him and even applying on his behalf, do it. His seeming controlling nature may just be because he feels insecure. Help him get past the insecurities. I believe the role of a woman is to build up her man, to help him reach his full potentials. That is why there is no end to how high a man can rise if he's got a good woman by his side.

That laid back dude today can become a driven, goal oriented man tomorrow. Mine is a living proof. he is not just an Engineer, he got certified in HSE and picked up great designing skills. I once got a contract to supply table top calendars. He designed it and managed the printing process. I would have spent 100k, paying a designer for the designs. He stays dedicated to tasks and wouldn't give up until he has seen it through. I didn't see these qualities in him before and wouldn't have known it was in there if I gave up on him.

All the best gurl.

I have been on this thread too off and on
But your story is so unique that i can't seem to let go.

Now, your blessing from ABOVE has made you rich in various ways and vice-versa.

My question is, how do you push someone who isn't even ready
Someone who thinks he can't do it except God says "MY SON, DO THIS"
Someone who actually thinks you're pushing too hard.

Well, all i can say is it is relative..........................what applies to the goose may not always go down well with the gander.

Would like your views though, I really don't mind

nwachivis:
Please nairalanders help me out.I am not an expert when it comes to writing,but i will still manage to drive home my point to the best of my capacity.

I proposed marriage just of recent to my spouse and went ahead with the family introduction.I have ever since been making preparations for the wedding.

I had told her in our previous interactions that i cancelled the marriage preparations with my ex when she told me she had once aborted a baby for her ex,which made her bleed for days.she told me back then that she was scared her womb was damaged because the pregnancy was 3 months old when she carried out the abortion.she pleaded with me to still marry her,reminding me of God's ability to perform miracles,even though she admitted that it was a difficult thing for any african man to do.I immediately called it quit between the both of us and moved on to my current spouse.

Just yesterday in one of our outings,my fiancée opened up to me that she once had an abortion in the past.she begged me not to call it "quit” with her,assuring me that no damage was done.

Am confused here because i can't handle the trauma of childlessness and a lot has been going through my mind. I love her and she loves me too.

Please advice me.

Do i continue with the marriage ?
Do i accept that it is my destiny to settle down with
a lady that has done abortion in the past ?
Do i insist she get pregnant for me before our wedding ?
Do i just go ahead and marry her with a positive
mindset ?

Please help me out of this quagmire..

Yes! we all desire to have children, but is this the only reason or the major reason for marriage

Well, oga OP, you can see a doctor or several doctors. There is no need to start experimenting. Go to a renowned gynecologist and both of you should have fertility tests carried out on you.

The doctor can tell you if her uterus is damaged and the extent of damage, i.e if any oo.
Not all abortions cause damage to the uterus

You could go ahead and marry a virgin and she will not bear you children, so who are you to judge or question these issues.

For you to love in the first place means you are ready to be with her and forget her past.

Have you found out the circumstances surrounding the situation at that time? It is men like you that would frown at her had it been she had that child.

You've sworn you've never gotten a lady pregnant.............Are you so sure? Some ladies won't tell you but they will go ahead and have an abortion. Even if you have never gotten anyone pregnant, how sure are you that you can father a child?

Why make it seem as if ladies are the only ones that can be called infertile?

Moreover, this could just be a test.

At your leisure please listen to or read Omolara Kudayisi's story (shatteredglassng.com)

Tread carefully on this matter
Peace

When the Bible says it's appointed unto man to die once, do you think we misunderstand it?

Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead and he died again.
We could say it was a show of HIS power to prove He is the son of God.

So are we all really meant to die just once and after that be judged?

kcheerful:
You didn't include ur email. How much is it going for?

send a mail via my profile here on nairaland. Don't wanna write it here. I just sent you one though

I have a return ticket for sale.(USA)

It will expire 31st May 2015.

Interested? send me a mail.

gommex:
can u get married to ur wife without knowing her status

Gbam!!!!!!!!!! You nailed it.

I was expecting the op to ask this question.

ronald4lif:
Haha! Hapum aka biko. Ona imaro na bu ocho okwu.

Eh nhe!!!! Nwa nna , kita ka ikwuru okwu.

Da'alu olu o, jisie ike

ronald4lif:
What's the monetary value of US green card

How many people e don help.

How many people greencard don help
How many people love don help

These your how may people these and that don help eeeeeee

Darkrebel666:
~ O.P is right. Men are superior to women intellectually and are definitely more knowledgeable.
Simply because that's the way it meant to be. Women are just not naturally smart plus they spend majority of them time doing petty things like painting of nails, make-up and beauty stuffs, while their male counter parts study more and do more brainy stuffs.
So its quite simple.
For those saying women should stand up. How can they can't up when they have nothing to offer asides good pusssy .
P.S: Nigerian girls are the dumbest female species on the planet earth though ..dumbness oozes from their brains like stench from unwashed armpits.. ...

i hope you know this includes your mama and sisters.

Just saying, you should think before you speak