₦airaland Forum

MR A and Miss B were engaged
Their wedding was 4 months away.
Mr A stays in Lagos and Miss B stays in Calabar.
Miss B went for a seminar in Lagos and decided to pay Mr A a surprised visit at home.
She got to his house around 9pm and met Mr A getting ready to retire for the night.
They were happy to see each other and Miss B decided to spend the night and leave very early in the morning to her Aunty's place.

In the morning, Miss B was already up and ready to move.
Mr A told her to hang on so he can drop her off on his way to the office
So Miss B had a little breakfast while waiting for Mr A to finish up so they can leave.
Mr A was ready and rushed to the dinning to have a cup of tea and few slices of bread as usual.
On getting to the dinning, he realized there was no milk and he checked the flask to confirm if his fiancée had made his tea.
Well, the flask was empty as well.

So he called Miss B to ask what happened.
Miss B responded by asking Mr A if he expected her to manage a tin of liquid milk for two of them.
She said she couldn't manage a tin of liquid peak milk for two cups of tea.
She admitted to have used the whole tin of milk because she doesn't like sugar in her tea as she prefers her tea very creamy and thick.
She further told him to drink mineral with bread if he really had the need for breakfast that morning.
While advising him to always stock his house with enough beverages to avoid such an occurrence as she wasn't ready to start mincing milk.

Mr A told her he was really disappointed she could only think of herself by using the whole tin of milk and not consider him despite seeing that was the last tin in the carton and he lived in an area that had no shops around.
He was aware he had just a tin of milk left in the house and he had planned to go grocery shopping by weekend.
He couldn't do it on weekdays because of his busy schedule at work couple with Lagos traffic.
Since he lived alone and hardly had visitors come around on weekdays, he had chosen to manage that the next day which was Friday so he can do the shopping on Saturday.
She was an unexpected guest and he wasn't aware of her trip to Lagos so the issue of expecting her and making plans for an extra mouth was out of it.
Besides, It hurts to know she wasn't bothered about how he fed as he was living alone and working in a company that took all his time and energy.

This little episode brought an argument that almost led to exchange of bitter words but for the matured way Mr A handled it and readily apologized because he didn't want them to part in anger.
They quickly settled and Mr A dropped her at her Aunty's place, gave her money as usual with lots of hugs and kisses and left to the office.

2 days later, Mr A called her to break the engagement and call off the wedding plans.
Reason: He said the milk issue had opened his eyes to the kind of insensitive and selfish woman he was almost getting married to.
He said it meant just one thing to him, that his wife will not be a good manager of his finances and home so he doesn't need that kind of woman as a wife.

Now everyone thinks his decision is too harsh and the issue so trivial to have led to their breakup, but he has refused to bend.
Some people think he didn't love her enough
Some think he is highly principled.
Well, Mr A has taken his stand and has moved on.

What's your take on this?

As bubu is not around, things are looking up, we need to bribe his doctors neva to clear him

Meanwhile why is the naira going up and down like strippers booty goes

The formal leader right now

According to Wikipedia, most peoplefart between 8-20 times a day. So unless you have the sphincter control of a Himalayan yogi, that means you’re ripping ass during daylight hours. And if you work from 9 to 5, you’ll occasionally have to let a bubbler go at the office. Here’s how to let your little calamari ring toot away in your cubicle without getting a foul reputation as the office gasbag.

1) Wear headphones at your peril.

If you’re going to be a fart ninja, you’ll need to toot in silence. At all times you should be aware of the noise level in the room. That way you can adjust the volume of your anal audio so no one can hear you. This won’t be possible if you’re pecking away at your keyboard to the beat of your “Get shit done” playlist. If you absolutely must wear headphones to get anything done, make sure those cheeks are clenched tightly.

2) Fart in a stairwell.

Location, location, location. Sure, you could go in the bathroom and beef in a stall, but then you could be identified by your shoes. If farting at work is a video game, an empty stairwell is your cheat code. Your coworkers are all fat sedentary people, so the stairs should be a goodspot to practice your butt trumpeting. Just be mindful of that new girl who’s a fitness nut—she might be in the stairwell trying to get in a little lunchtime workout. And if she catches you letting it rip then you’ll have to push her down those stairs. No witnesses.

3) Use ambient noise to your advantage.

Be mindful of your surroundings. Maybe your boss just told a shitty joke and his sycophant underlings are guffawing like maniacs in his office. It’s a perfect time to let some 808 blast out of the ol’ subwoofer. If you weren’t listening carefully, you would have missed the golden opportunity.

4) Fart in front of the intern.

If you’ve run out of strategic fart spots, an intern’s cubicle can be a lifesaver. Plausible deniability is important and no one is going to take an intern’s word over yours. Forcing an intern to inhale your airborne fecal remnants has the added benefit of letting them know their proper place in the office chain of command.

5) Fart in another department where no one knows you.

This is a high-risk method that should only be used in very large companies. Even if you’re cutting’em in front of strangers, there’s a chance you could be identified once people start asking around to find out who the weird farter was, which brings us to our next tip.

6) Fart near someone who smells bad.

As bad as your gas is, there’s someone in your office who reeks allthe time whether they’re farting or not. If you’re not sure where to find them, the nighttime cleaning guy can always come in handy or the guy with awful body spray.

7) Be ready to frame someone.

You may not like to think about it right now, but there will come a time when one of your coworkers will catch you rolling your eyes in ecstasy while you paint a fresh racing stripe in your panties. You need a contingency plan to keep anywitnesses silent.

She come give you hiv. Hope say u wear protective gear

QuietHammer:
Dick too big, might kill someone

Use razor to trim it down na

hemartins:
I don't hate anything about myself.

But sometimes, I wish I'm not single.

You really need to work on your anger ish. I was like that too. If you can work on it, you will get amazing friends.

You are beautiful Ms / Mrs

Wolop niqqa, r u trying to "unsingle"

As a follow up to this thread
https://www.nairaland.com/3793994/what-special-thing-u-admire

"Cash in on the fun"

What is that one f*cked up thing you don't "admire" about yourself

There and then.....

Gominorrr:
Controversial nudist, Caroline Sam, better known as Maheeda shared these raunchy photos of herself in sexy underwear. See more photos after the cut.

[img]https://2.bp..com/-1gJ71V3NR3A/WRM2uw_5g3I/AAAAAAAMXfA/0WUAV1PHzFsjQ1U2GmPt7chAeVertQ1hwCLcB/s1600/0.jpg[/img]

[img]https://4.bp..com/-H9h_AK-jjLI/WRM2u0ZjHTI/AAAAAAAMXfE/pXR6SKknO5QfULLkZywrHLnp1jjaYeJ0gCLcB/s1600/1.jpg[/img]

[img]https://3.bp..com/-qGALiDozV4M/WRM2vQuwGgI/AAAAAAAMXfI/zQ4MteWrD-8GLu6jcTTMNb_VAoBtupqcgCLcB/s1600/3.jpg[/img]

[img]https://1.bp..com/-9_SLHzPmvhw/WRM2vVGd-gI/AAAAAAAMXfM/6OfL0P4vF2QyqyAOYBWIvLjKGbZe7DFAwCLcB/s1600/4.jpg[/img]

VIEW MORE >>> http://tweemk..com/2017/05/maheeda-shares-raunchy-underwear-photos.html

lalasticlala seun mynd44

You want them to push porn to front page or you calling them to ban u

My hello moto react.... I no go lie

Iv seen a glo mast powered with regular shop generator.... There should be first on that list

Stop saying nonsense. If that part of the Constitution hands over power to the vice president. Then that's all that counts

Why are people this dumb
A part of the Constitution is sited, and the letter is in accordance with what that part of the Constitution says.

Before you start getting confused about the term used in the letter. Read that part of the Constitution which is the source from which the letter is drafted. If it hands over power to the vice
president then whatever term used in the letter is irrelevant.

TrapQueen77:



See...this is the effect of NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE ...this is a dilemma! U dont know what s(he) got before tying the rest of ur life in this mess...

So u d fire u go

New episodes of the blacklist

wealthyhrt:
A new company is looking for writers in various niches.
SEO, content writers, product description writers

with a very good command of English language
You should be able to work between tight schedules
You should be able to type very fast too.
You are to be paid 50% of all jobs you deliver.
By delivery I mean timely and accuracy. NO plagiarism.
You must have the internet, good phone, and computer because communication is anytime.
Please, I am a very serious minded person. Sincere to the core. We will continue on WhatsApp and otherwise.
send your c.v to lancer.freeninetyeight at gmail.com

thanks

Interested

jolak5:
We are in need of professional article writers.
The pay is between 30-50k per month depending on workload.
Drop your number and you would be contacted for a test.

08164122654

Archangels2:
Nonsense..... U reap what u sow... U cannot b a runs girl and not have serious challenges in marriage... Na by first to marry... Please good and down to earth ladies...I'm a guy desperately looking for aunty B and so are others. Don't let people like this deceive you

Funny tin is "you reap what you sow" is not always life's reality. In life "results may vary"

Do people still go to the library

For youths under the Bank of Industry’s Graduate Entrepreneurship Fund (GEF) programme, access to loans will henceforth be at zero per cent interest charge from the initial nine per cent, thus requiring only the repayment of the principal amounts in a bid to enhance business creation and sustainability.

According to the Bank, the GEF scheme being implemented by the Bank in partnership with the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) Directorate currently on the second edition, has recorded over N262.9 million disbursements to 177 successful candidates.

To boost the multiplier effect of the scheme, the bank has decided to further encourage such young entrepreneurs by administering their loans at zero per cent interest charge effective 1st May, 2017.

By the action, existing GEF loans and those to be disbursed from 1st of May 2017, will require repayment of only the principal amounts, while the 177 candidates that have been financed under the scheme will be required to pay loan interest that accrued up to 30th April, 2017.

As at March 31, 2017, the bank has approved N583.8 million for disbursements for entrepreneurs under the scheme. The bank explained that it was motivated by the larger part of the 177 candidates who have exhibited strong dedication to their businesses and have demonstrated unusual commitment to repayment of their loans including the 9% interest portion.

With the first disbursements already creating impact in the agriculture value chain and creative industry, the bank added that N46.98 million is expected to be disbursed to the remaining 28 successful candidates who are in the various stages of complying with the loan requirements.

“The Bank of industry is highly delighted in the outcome of its investment in these young Nigerians. The Bank firmly believes that entrepreneurship is a critical pathway to resolving the worrisome unemployment problem in the country. Hence, the Bank desires to ensure the businesses that have been created through the GEF programme remain sustainable with progressive migration from small businesses to medium and eventually to large enterprises.

“It is believed that that this gesture will further attract young Nigerians that are undergoing their one-year compulsory National youth service to embrace entrepreneurship by participating in the GEF programme.

“It is pertinent to reiterate that the zero per cent interest charge on loans only applies only to the GEF programme which is implemented in partnership with NYSC Directorate”, the bank added.

https://m.guardian.ng/business-services/boi-reduces-interest-rate-to-zero-percent-for-youths/

There are a million books out there packed with relationship advice. You don’t have time to read all of them…or, let’s be honest, even ONE of them. So let’s keep it WAY simpler.

* It’s not enough to love someone, you also have to like them.

Drop yours

I fell in love with a porn star, now my life is fuccckked

I fell in love with a DJ, now my life is a mix


Continue the trend.... Drop urs

Jj

Preparation in top gear.... Mumu people, if you like put it in gear one

Na japam

Buhari is representing Nigeria from home

Dottore:
I respect this guy Walahi but can someone tell me how he makes his money since Facebook sign up is free

No insults please

Go to where pages are advertized., you pay money to Facebook for them to advertise your page depending on the length of time you want it Advertised


All those suggested pages you see with plenty comments are paid for