SisterAnn:
God forbid.

Dude deserves to get accomodation in the farthest side of the Himalayan mountains till he expires.

yet again "God"

Kept on exposing your type. Church goers!

Kobojunkie:
The last thing any gambling addict with a conscience would do is look for another woman to burden with his problems. Person like that suppose take time, even years, to properly understand his particular problem and self in order to avoid a repeat of the same disaster in his life and that of his children. But, people are majorly selfish and all too willing to stomp on even their own children to get their desires met.

Lol...

If you understand what addiction is and mean... you would never use he word "Selfish".

Anyways... am not suprised.. These is the reason in our society 9ja. most dont know there left from there right.

Anyways! I always avoid People who easily uses certain words/phrases without proper evaluating situations. And the quoted word above, is one of those words.


GIP to you!

SisterAnn:
The family that raised a failure and hydra-headed demon like you.
Thank God your ex-wife got out while she could.

If you know God it would show in your character.

Untill then.... Gip to you

SisterAnn:
Rubbish!

Go and deal with your monsters!

Monsters you made!

Imagine that all your ex-wife's relative kept their distance from you and even your late father's burial, what does that tell any discerning mind here? You are a leper! An untouchable! Bad news!

Gerrarahia!

Like i said... you are badly raised. You lack manners. A Charactterless Girl. Am very much interested to know the kind of family you hail from. Because; wow!

Anyways little girl... please stay clear of my path.

SisterAnn:
Your opening statement... "Never marry a Nigerian woman " provided a window into the arrogant, entitled and unrepentant entity you are.

Is a woman seeking to divorce her husband because she is at her wits end Nigerian thing alone? 🤨

A brat!

I can already make out your kind of character from your choice of words.

And i can bet your kind of girl would never last in "ANY" mans Home. That is even if any man accepts to marry you. Becuase your bad character i could smell it miles away.

You also lack the ability to read and comprehend.

My Advice to you is.... Kindly jump and pass any of my comments or post now and in the future. You have obviously shown that you lack the character to comment without insults.

And I detest your kind! who lacks manna and are badly raised

henrimoto:
.. You were really hurt. Sorry about your recent marriage ordeal.

I understand a bit of how you feel about the whole thing, letting her go is real hard for you but let it be. I know it's hard and difficult for you emotionally

Let it be that catalyst that will spur you to your full recovery track.

I pray time and Nature heal you.

Be positive.
Be strong

Thanks you.

God is making it easier day after day just by his Grace

henrimoto:
...No mind am. The wife leaving him then is a catalyst to his present recovery. Instead of him to continue to work on his full recovery, he is passing the blame to the woman.

@,mimicle101, if your ex wife never marry another man , you can still win her heart back after your full recovery.

I took the blame. weather the sickness was directly or indirectly. infact i regret becoming what i became.

Nonetheless; where i have personal issue is my own wife leaving me at my worse. i personally dont care how anyone would see these statement.
Unless you can convince me that marriage is no longer 4 better and worse and in sickness and in health till death do us part.

she was working and doing well. at some point she was cooking her own food. stopped being a wife. then i cooked my own food. I stay help around the house as i have alwas done. and also paid the bills even when i dont have to pay i never even told or asked her for help anymore. i decided to carry the cross alone.

Because i lost my source of incomes, infact life became hell for me. i had to go start learning a new skill that would take me like 1 to 2 months so i can start earning money.

it was while i was still learning these skill that she left the house.



Have i mentioned to you that my own wife has called police on me before?

By the way, i wish i new better.

You said if she has not married?


Would i marry her and take her out of Nigeria where God started blessing her and then she wants to marry another man in the same country i brought her in? Only time will tell though...

Kobojunkie:
1. If your idea of what it means to be human is having the freedom to inflict hurt and pain on others— even children—and then carefully walking away from the chaos you created so you can start over afresh somewhere else, you certainly have a long way to go.

2. I already said it! Your noxious poems of how much you loved your ex, were just nonsense to pull the heartstrings of the gullible with and further delude yourself with this image of a "good" person you seem to have going for you there. You sound a lot like a predator looking for his next prey!

3. An entitled predator at that!

lol... good night

Let any lady take your advice at there own risk

soulhelper481:
She's very right. Lately, I'm always afraid. In the night. Because I'm scared Incase he harm me while sleeping. His actions are terrifying. Is like someone with mental disorder. No woman deserve that

That means your husband needs help.

if he was your brother, or child would you disown him?

lady find help for your husband.

have you informed his family?

Kobojunkie:
See cowardice on display for Pete's sake!

2. You admitted that it was your wife who took care of your kids until she could no longer endure keeping up with the charade that was you and her being united in marriage. Yet you dare to ask the question in bold about who would take the case of the kids?

3. You have admitted here that you broke your own home, destroying any and every chance of a peaceful resolution, yet somehow you think an outsider admitting it is indeed broken is to carry the blame? Are you for real?

i always love your comment. keep playing devils advocate.

You can deceive as many woman as you want.

look am a freeman.

i have peace now. i acknowledged my wrong and mistakes as a human that i am. an not a super human that you expect.

the truth is. when am ready i can stilll find another good lady who would understand and be there for me. and live moves on.

am only sorry for most ladies who re quick to jump ship when there is crisis in there marriage. if its that easy to get a partner. to build a marriage for 10, 20 even more year without having some challenges. then let them listen to you and then leave there husbands.

but first let them go to badoo and many other online dating sites and see the amount of single ladies they would be competing with. its not even easy for the men. how about the ladie.

afterall is not compulsory to marry they can aswell remain single is also a good option.

thank you

soulhelper481:
You are right.

oky


Best of luck.

Unfortunately these commentor won't be there foe you when you will be praying and wishing for another home.

Kobojunkie:
What she instead told you is in danger is not her home and marriage but her sanity and that of her children. Those are rightly greater priorities than the violent environment that is her marriage. Those children do not deserve to be put through such wickedness in the name of keeping a marriage.

2. It is so funny how those of you who wrought wickedness on others by your own hands are always the first to invoke God whenever cornered. It is like an expected reaction from manipulative beings. OP, does not need prayers nor does she need to pray to any god out there unless she worships some sort of actual god of marriage that she is sure will save her from this marriage contract that binds her to an abusive man and endangers regularly the mental health of her children.

3. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 - Yes o, Sister, remain enduring as a punching bag in marriage. That marriage badge will bear you witness after your health and probably life has been thoroughly damaged all in the name of love. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

please kindly point to me one perfect marrige. trouble free for 20 years.

most of you are like run. leave. run. after running then what. who will tae care of those kids. why always encourage broken home instead of advocating for resolution and peace

frozen70:


Honestly at this point, if your own family I mean siblings are aware of your predicament and can't afford a room for you, then they are part of the whole problem

Just carry those children out and run to anywhere you like, then get anything you can do with your hands

That man is a beast and you will definitely be his target if you don't act fast

Lol.. take it easy. you dont know nothing about the man. and i beat. you have never seen a beast before

Kobojunkie:
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
[/size] Notice how the one thing you think I somehow owe you is missing from the definitions of the word?

I thank God you self know say you owe me that particular one. anyways. keep well 1Kobo

These posts is not about me. its about our lovely sister whose home and marriage is in danger.

what we owe her is our prayer and discouragement.

Sister.

please dont divorce you husband oky.

talk with him. if thing are getting violent. tell him becuase you desire peace and wants your marriage. and becuase you love him let him see the danger his addiction is causing in your home. In love let him know whats best for both of you is for you to go to your parents home for a while while he sorts himself. peace

Kobojunkie:
The one who came here playing the blame game is you, not me.

2. I am not trying or fighting hard for anything. I am simply on here to debate thoughts, and ideas churned out by the worms in your mind and that of others. After all, that is what an open forum such as this one is meant for.

Let me go google and reeducate myself on the meaning of the word DABATE. it seems i missed tbe meaning..



Or better still kindly educate me on the meaning of debate

Kobojunkie:
Arrghh! The equation is still majorly about you and you alone. Nothing about the children whom you hurt by your wickedness, just you and how your life has to turn out. Imagine the love of this one.

What i love about you is the fact that you keep cring over a spilled milk.

you love blame game.

you love beating around the bush.

you keep talking and never offer solution or a way forward.


let me ask you... What point are you making what are you trying and fighting so hard to archive

soulhelper481:
The same thing my husband is doing right now. I'm fed up and I'm ready to leave him.

I cant really advice you at these point. My story is already out there for you and others to see and make up your mind on what you feel is right for you.

Like at these point.

Am stucked. dont know if i must remin single or marry another woman. you know am not based in 9ja. imagine having to marry another woman and take her out of 9ja again. how would people see me... foolish or wise? and the last thing i wanted was to marry a lady from these country where i live. i believe in marrying from my tribe. and also if i wait further. am not getting younger.

though i have 1 child but i wanted more than 1.


Now, how about her.... does she finding it easy? or would men use and dump her?

you know in life no matter where or what happens its always important to try and consider the easiest part to take. and in my case i consider it a hard way.

am not sure about her. but for me its hard.

so dear,
you check if if you want it easy or hard. Remain Blessed.

I pray God see you through.

Kobojunkie:
If you were, you wouldn't come here writing noxious poems about how you supposedly loved a woman whom you helped turn into an abuser and a monster in marriage. You wouldn't open your trap to blame your wickedness on addiction. Addicts are not wicked people. Rather, wicked people who turn addicts are those who do what you did to your wife and kids in the name of love.

hahahhaha I still like your way of thinking.

MumEmdy:



Now that you have changed why not go back and beg her to come back to you, I'm glad you know it was your actions or rather gambling that trigger all her reactions towards you.

I sincerely want to congratulate you for being able to conquer that gambling spirit that tormented your life and destroyed your marriage and I also pray your wife sees reasons to embrace you back again Cheers!!!

Thank you so much.

Unfortunately the why i cant go back is that. i discovered that the marriage was never based in love.

She said she does not love me again.

I once knelt down to apologise to her so we work things out but she pushed me away.

She went Naked and cursed me that it will never be well with me.

She wished me death. while my father was laying in the mutuary awaiting the funeral date.

her family never came to my father (who went to marry there Daughter) funeral.

Her family never called my mom or family to wish there condolences.

She left with my Son ad refused me talking to him. for 7 months now.

her family never called or said anything to me since i informed them that there Daughter my wife left my house.

She blocked me from all form of communication.



Please where do i start?

soulhelper481:
Had it been she didn't leave you, you wouldn't have change. That's why every woman in her shoe or mine have to leave.

Very well. got your point.

So now whats the way forward?

In your own opinion..

I must get a new wife and start a new Family right?

Or better still I must remain single and die lonely.

Please i need your Honest opinion.

Kobojunkie:
Why does it matter to you whether his wife left him or not? Are you now wanting to become like her and model your marriage after his? You dey hear story from the man who abused his wife and you take that as some sort of upside down wisdom you should pay mind to? You are not at all tired of your situation!

Am used to your way of thinking

soulhelper481:
Sir, I would love to ask. In your case, Did your wife left you? And at what point did you realize and stop?
Honestly, no woman who experience the life of a chronic gambler husband, can respect him. The effects are traumatizing. I can't even explain the level of anger they generate with that lifestyle

Yes she left.. I regreted it all. And i took the blame for the fact that i became Sick. And I am grateful to God all mighty that today I am getting better ( better from the abuse and crisis i recived in place of love). I am yet to fully recover financially But i still believed that my healling maybe would have came sooner if i had a support system in the person of my own wife. Rather she choosed to forsake me when i was afflicted and needed help. Its always about the Money. Nothing else matters.

At the point where she left was when she got tired of supporting the house. she was cooking and eating with our child alone. she stopped being a wife.. its was oky. i never bordered her as i took it as the punishment to who i had become. Untill she extended it with violent.

i cant really remember how it all became physical but one thing i know is i hated seeing her tears. so she would attack and hit me. slap me at a heated argument. i refused to hit her back. instead i restrained her from on few occasions from inflicting permanent damage on me. .


She was my world. I cant tell you one single reason why i love her but i love her more than myself . its still 7 months now. no day passes i dont think about her.

I would do anything for her happiness.

What i explained above... I dont expect most Nigerian woman including the Nigga kobojunkie who commented above me to understand it.

People always rush to use the word Abuse when men are involved. laugh.

Do you know the pain it feels when a mother would collect meat that a father gave to his 2 years old son and throw it away in front of the boys father? not once but 2 different occasions

Does 2 wrong make right? I accepts all my wrongs... Dont you think things would have been more different if A wrong behaviour is handled with a right behaviour?

soulhelper481:
Pls, Nigerians, come and rescue me from my husband before we both loss it. I need an accomodations for me and my two children. I don't want to keep enduring anymore. I'm tired. It has reached the stage of forcefully and violently taking and using whatever I struggle for to gamble. He gambles with everything. Even if we're hungry, he wouldn't provide, yet the little I could afford, he struggles with me and still gamble it away living us to suffer.


The present accomodations we have, I paid for it and it's expiring towards ending of the year. But I want to peaceful give him some distance to regain myself.
Family members have adviced him and they're all tired.
I need help. I can't even sleep comfortably in the night, I'm always afraid he might hurt me because of everyday quarrel and disapproval. I want to be alive to take care of my children.

Pls I need to go away. I need help. I'm in Abuja. I need accomodation, I want to be able to breathe. I'm suffocating here.

I have tried all I could, but he's not willing to change. His family members (his mom) testified he has this habit even from the university. It's a long story. I have been trying to save an addict, but all my efforts, wasted.
Now, he's acting violent with me. I don't want to move to my family house because he will start coming over and acting like he has change. As usual.

someone said "Never to marry a Nigerian woman" look i dont support these quote but looking at the behaviour of most of our woman in these our current generation. Its really scary.
Infact with these kind of mentality marriages would never last. people would be divorcing within weeks of marriage.


having said that.

Look madam i kindly sympathise with you about what you are going through. infact i have been there. But in my case i was the husband. only that i causually started gambling few months beforei got married. Lockdown came in 2020 and that was when my demons started manifesting fully. I became an addict untill i lost my job, car frinds and then Marriage.

The irony of it all was that i could see the damage and the negative effect of the addiction in everything that has to do with me.
Even on my physical appearance.

I cry deeply in my heart as i was helpless. All my brain wanted was to win back all the money... the other irony of it was that.. even after winning it back i still find myself going back and losing all again.

the question is.. was i aware what was happening to me .. YES

was I happy.. No

can I stop.. No > Because I could not control my mind anymore.


Look Madam... I fully understand how you feel.

But am assuming your Husband might not be the worse husband in town.

But the fact still remains that his actions are hurting and ruining lifes.

About the violent

Madam..

like in my case mine got into 1 or 2 violents scenes (i allowed her to beat me) yes my wife beat me up ahaahahaa...

Have i ever beat my wife.. No

Would i ever beat my wife.. Never

But my wife became super abusive and disrespectful (talks or responds in a disrespectful manner, comes home late, stopped cooking, stopped any romantic activity, do anything she likes, keeps malice, always busy on the phone)when she became tired of Supporting the house.

My Sin was gambling/inability to provide. which lead to the above crisis.

Other than that things was going to remain good.



Now let me say these to you madam and any other woman who might be going through these.

Just know that you are not alone. infact Gambling has become a global pandemic which which is and has become a threat to families. Just like every other addiction out there.

And understand that anyone can become a victim. including your own kids. And am sure when you Son or daughter become sick you dont throw them away or disown them.

Now is divorce the only option? I strongly believe its Not.

because at the end of the day most of them those men suffers more.

So my point in all these..

There should be more awareness about the dangers of gambling

And the government should do something about the numerous gambling operators both ofdine and online.

Then Families should please with love and care start treating Gambling addiction as the demon it is.

An addict needs help every help they can get. In a developed countries there are program's available to rehabilitate addicts.

Ma i dont know your main purpose of wating to divorce your husband.. let me ask, If your husband was not addcted or losing and was providing... would you have thought about divorcing him?

if your answer is No.

Then on his behave.
please all he need is love, encouragment. tell him all the money he lost are all gone for good. let him know is okey to start over.

And try to manage him and his finances.. all in love. look like on my case it wont be easy. but with love I gurantee you you both will come out Strong.

Google him resources to help me.
Just help him ma.

These is not the time to fight your husband but a time for both of you to fight the addiction and win the fight.

Conaider these scenario...

You divorce him

You leave and continue he struggle alone.

you try new relationships... men use and disapoint you. You might still be lucky to find a good man who would stay. am not sure the chances.

But what is the gurantee the new man ma not have his own addiction. it might not be gambling..

Now your divorced husband is left shattered and loses maybe even shelter over his head.

Maybe one day He beats th addition alone and bounces back on his feet.

Now would you want him back?

Nick23890:
See finish done enter the marriage. Try to keep less conversation with him, mind your business, focus on ur business and kids. Let the community preek keep deceiving himself that he's enjoying. Save more money and abandon him when he needs you the most. Pay evil with evil when people refuse to behave. If he has property currently do the needful. Don't be pampering mad people

Does these advice applies also to your own kids and direct relative's?

anthonyuncle:
Hmm.
Sorry for what you are experiencing.
Did you not notice his infidelity while dating?

Hahahaaa what a question. you mean people cant change after 9 years

GistMedia0:
A Nigerian woman called social workers to chase her husband out of their home, citing alleged maltreatment. The couple's argument quickly escalated as each side presented their grievances, shedding light on a complex situation.

The husband, whose identity remains undisclosed, fired back at his wife's claims by revealing he had spent a staggering £24,000 on her school fees from the beginning to the end of her education. Additionally, he highlighted that he was the one paying for the house they lived in, making her request for him to leave all the more bewildering.

In a heated exchange, the woman retorted, "I no born children for you?" This remark struck a nerve as it came to light that she was the one keeping their children while simultaneously asking him to vacate the premises.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWXJRosQRA8

The problem is that Most Nigerian woman has the heart of stone. Unforgiveness, anger , do me i do you back runs in there veins.

chris51:
Your husband is a lunatic.
DIVORCE him.
How can he be paying agbero to beat you up? Move out of the house immediately. Don't you have relatives you can report to?
He is a BEAST

just imagine Advice.... some of you ladis eh.

your type can do worse than that lady. because no sane man would do that if the wife did nothing.

see your mouth. Move out of the house immediately. I bet you are Single and would never last in a mans house

Op please kindly hang on there. atleast thats the best you can do.

one thing i realized is that help doesn't always come. from experience

look you are not alone. some of us are currently homeless or squatting with someone untill something changes no matter how long it takes


though for me personally i lost hope in so many things due to trials. Nonetheless, Try and keep on believing for a change. I wish i could help as you are stilll young and strong and probably need some change of environment in addition for better opportunities.

look for as many who are going through one challenge or the other. just hang on. know that there are some that would do anything to be in your curent position. as long there is life.... and you are still in good health.

don't kill yourself. there will be moments of shame, disgrace, embarrassments. friends and loved onces will dessert you. just hand on! if its water you see, drink it and just keep on pushing.

One day you and i will look back and tell these moments as stories to motivate the younger generations to come

.

Good day Family.

As a last resort am here soliciting for anyone who can please come for my rescue.

To make the whole story short. things took left turn for me after i lost my job

went in dept. lost everything including.

have been paying my debts since i started new small business. unfortunately these January didn't favour me

Now

am about to be Homeless if nothing is done.

please if anyone can render me any kind of help i would greatly appreciate. i can also pay back within the agreed time frame with interest please. please am Not based in Nigeria and it is more serious than i worded it please. i plead with anyone who cam help a brother

Jennyclay:
Why is the man now making video, he should have raise his hand on her and see if the embassy won’t send him back to Nigeria, he’s not a saint either .

Probably the husband wasn’t taking good care of her!
Her reaction said it all.

Personally if I’m not getting enough Money, sex and true love from my man, I will definitely look elsewhere .

someome please ban these account!

woginid967:


Dont pray

Make legit mad money.

Leverage on your relationships and rise.

Money is above law.

Rules n regulations are for those without enough money.

Money has levels but when it becomes a mindset, you will see that you're a god and not in need of anyone because everyone has a price.

Woman can betray but I've never been betrayed by a dollar...

wise words.

words taken to heart