₦airaland Forum

Lance008:
To me the main reason I see alot of gamblers among married men is that alot of men do take loan for marriage and such can lead to unnecessary depression when the debtor start kicking and there won't be any option to fall to gambling
Please your opinion is needed

When you step you foot outside the shores of Nigeria. Then you will change the title of your post.

olisefom:
That woman has found a new love. If she wants a divorce herself, you can't stop her. Let her go.

The most painful word to hear.


Please don't loud it

GeorgWashinton:
My marriage has suddenly been plagued by sadness and sorrow.

I'm married for ten years now and my marriage has yielded us two beautiful kids. But my wife has just suddenly changed. She doesn't cook for me and the kids any more. She comes back from work late sometimes by 9pm. She picks calls at odd hours and sometimes doesn't let me hear or understand the conversation. I complained but she said I was insecure and that nothing is wrong.

Few weeks ago I found a love letter she wrote but undated and nameless. She said she wrote it for me. I was heartbroken because I know for a fact that it was not for me.

My wife is threatening to divorce me citing that I'm maltreating her which was purely a lie and a false pretext to leave me.

I love my wife and wouldn't want her to leave me, how do I build back my home to how it was? I seriously need my wife by my side and the peace restored.

Oh God.

Why is does it seem like the devil is winning these battles


Why are our woman being easily influenced?

Why are our woman always I war with there husbands.

Why are our woman now competing with the husband's.

Is it the social media?

God.

Where did we go wrong.

Why are the people who should be our Queens in charge of our homes. Taking care spiritually and physically the homes always up in arms?

God.


Is it Greed?

Is it love of material things?

People no longer have compassion.
People heart has become too dark.

The devil is really fighting had to destroy MARRIAGE!

We must all pray

LordIsaac:
I think it has to do with how you begin with a woman. Your authority as her head must never be in contention else, you are gone. The Biblical Sarah called her husband Lord...never marry a woman that does not see you as her Lord.

You are very correct on these.

And I confess that I learnt these the hard way.

The more reason my marriage is in crisis.

Last Sunday my wife called police on me and said I was following her about.

Just because I wanted to know where she was staying with my son. After she moved out from my house.

Like eh! The cross is too heavy! Wished I never carried the cross In the first place. Now it's too late as I cherish the cross that am not able to let go even though the cross it's killing me.

Tpave:
Is it ideal for your wife to insist she knows your password as a husband because she wants to be checking your phone anytime she wishes?

A house wife read on the Internet how a married woman kept another lady outside for 7 years without the wife knowing and he also did not tell the lady he was married.

Some wives on the comment section threatened that they must start checking their husbands phone and he must give them the password.

Anyone who will cheat will cheat weather phone is checked or not.


But for me.

I love my phone so much that I believe I I lose my phone you would have a hard time accessing it. And I also live security on my gadgets. So i love to lock up everything on my phone. But if my wife cares to have the codes I will gladly give her.

Woman woman!

The funny thing about woman and these post is that woman want to eat there cake and have it.

There is nothing woman will never complain on.

Men worked hard and provided for there families. And woman say No! They also want to work and make THERE OWN money.

Woman said what men can do woman can do it better. Woman rushed to the job market to drag with the men.

And here us the post complaining why is the men not dragging with the woman for the jobs.

In my next world! If there be any I rather be a tree than to be in the same world with a woman.

bukatyne:
I hope it goes beyond 'shaming' men that don't provide and instead help women to see the signs and choose well.

This issue is prevalent in our society under different guises:
> Lagos husbands
> Abuja husbands
> Men who lack financial intelligence
> Lazy men not willing to work/ not willing to get their hands dirty after an unfortunate job loss
> Rich men unwilling to take care of their families financially

Etc.

Good one.

Am waiting to see the prevalent issues in our society regarding the wifes

Deleted

Zonefree:

No be naive make you marry him, na your love for material things. You thought he's loaded cos he pretended to be only for you to marry him come notice say nothing dey house.

No Nigerian woman can stay with a broke man for straight 24 months!

A man will be living with his jobless Nigerian wife for 15 years, providing for her needs with the kids, taking care of the wife's family in his little ways without even telling his neighbours.

But, here's a Nigerian woman that only stayed with her broke husband just for 2 years, and she's already all over the cyber space telling the world how broke and wretched the husband is.


Dear men, please when saying marital vow with your Nigerian bride, tell the officiating priest to skip the "for better for worse" gibberish. Nigerian girls don't practice that nonsense.

Your words hit hard.

realtalk19:
See how you are looking for excuses.so because he lost his job ,the best act is to not look for another job and just stay idle without making effort?

Am seriously laughing?

Btw are you married? If you are married, will you be comfortable with your wife taking up your responsibilities while you stay idle and not make effort?

Even the bible says a man who cannot provide for his family is worse than an Infidel.
To be the man of the home, a husband and a father is not an easy task.

Don't judge people till you walk on their shoes.

Life happens.

Oky. I will wait till I hear the man side of the story.

But untill then.

If you never experienced these type of crisis. I don't expect you to understand

Good night.

realtalk19:
What has forgiveness got to do with a lazy man who doesn't want to find a job.

You will not understand till you wear the shoe.

As though finding a job is as easy as you have just typed.

He had a job..... "lost it" I guess that's why he suddenly becomes a lazy man.

Am just laughing.

By the way. Are you married?

Exceed15:
When a wife narrates a story and doesn't mention one good thing about her husband, most likely she don add salt& maggi. It's just a phase, he will scale through.

Only God knows heap of curses and unprintable she has called him. You think he is useless?ok o

Men , pray nothing happens to your finance, that's when you know the woman you Married.

Hahaha.

At some point I told my wife I love you after dropping her off. She said to me you are mad!.

Only men who have encountered financial challenges/crises will truly understand.

Kobojunkie:
You didn't read the Op at all, or you intentionally wish to make light her situation in order to push your opinions. She has been carrying the burden in her home for years whereas your story reads that it has only been a few months for you in your condition. Why do you want to desperately make light of what may be OP'S sincere out cry here?

No. That's not correct dear.

Only her change of heart started 2.months ago. While I am almost getting back on my feet.

That's why I said her story is same as mind. And I mean the years.

Kobojunkie:
Your story reads absolutely nothing at like OP'S story or situation which is that she has been living as the provider in her marriage for years now.

You may think so.

But let me tell you. The poster story is not %100.

I wish we can hear from the husband side.

I guarantee you these.

The poster is super hurt! She feels used. She see zero value, and have zero respect to the man.

She does not have any love for him any more. Infact. She feels nothing but hatreds for him. All is because of what she has went through. Which I perfectly understand.


Not in a bad way. But I wish OP can confirm these things I have said.

So what she needs now is to start forgiving her husband. Starting all over again. And hopefully the husband can get a job and start doing better. It's ganna be real tough but she just have to try. Otherwise these marriage is as good as ended as mine did.

Kobojunkie:
Unless you are her husband , don't pretend your story matches her to a T. Tell your own story make we hear am instead.

Just did partially

manigold:
Less take a few steps back and be respectful of the subject in question here. I'm confident that this story is either sentimental or incomplete. Let's just presume she's factual and that means she's made the 'mistake'. Cos I'd like to ask if she didn't even notice this after her first kid enough to avoid a second. It would seem to me she picked the guy and probably pressured him for marriage; as it seems, she too has nothing reality for a job to sustain the home.
So 'mistakes' made, here's the way forward.
Stick to the home and persist in it as long as it's safe(devoid of battery/abuse). This isn't the time to separate from him because what u may have to bear may not be pleasant. Think about it: how long will u stay with your parents, if u eventually move out won't u be paying the rent. Plus u just freed him up from his responsibility at all; he will more easily pick up a new girl and abandon u with the lots. Should life smile at him, you have already given him excuses not to care by quitting on him while he's in his lowest moments.
IF U HAVE THOUGHT CAREFULLY ABOUT IT AND STILL WISH TO QUIT, THEN DO IMMEDIATELY AND FACE YOUR NEW REALITY.
But I tell u, it will only make u another bitter single mum.

I love your comments here.

Let me expose myself abit more.

What she wrote here is exactly what happened to my marriage.

Even her role.

The only little difference is that I was still fighting and trying to get my finances fixed.

But my wife feels it should rather do some other jobs which she feels can bring quicker or stable money. Which I declined as i still love my previous job I had lost . And still fighting to get it back. (.....)

Fast forward.

From 2 months back, my wife started doing the very wicked thing a lady suggested here.

Stop sex,

Eat alone,

Don't care for him etc.


While I have been busy stressing my brains out, with so many sleepless nights thinking on how to change my situations.

I went 2 days without eating but my wife had the money. And she ordered take away and ate alone.

My inability to provide anymore as I faced my worse life challenges, after she gave up and stopped supporting me or the house. I became her worse enemy. I mean. Hatred with Passion.

As I type these is the 5th day she moved out of the house with my son.

And since we have not communicated


So I understand these post real well.



Poster. Please kindly and gently speak to your husband. With love and respect.

Put head together with him. With patience and see how both of you can work things out.

To me, I don't think separation is the key here.

As I strongly believe things will bounce back. He needs you the most these time.

It's tough. Just try to be patience. And when things bouce back.

You would have earned the best part of his heart.

Kobojunkie:
Your story reads like a desperate attempt by your person to turn the narrative around to fit exactly that which occludes your mind there. You are not OP neither are you the husband or any of the kids in the family but somehow you are convinced your tale rings truer than the one OP has told. To what end, I am not certain.

I hope you didn't miss where I said I was in the same shoe as her husband?

Kobojunkie:
Let's for the sake of debate assume the man is depressed. He went ahead and got married, and had kids, all in the midst of depression. He took on responsibilities and burdens that a depressed individual would know not to take on in wisdom. He lost his job and in the midst of all that does not contribute even to work at home, and did not at least cry out for help or ask for it from anyone. I put it to you that those aren't signs of depression but wickedness on top of what may also include depression.

No. I take it you must be wrong.

These story is so sweet in the first place. Believe me I have been in the shoe of that husband.

And my wife could make the story so good and sweet and say she does everything in the house even went ahead to tell her family the same.

Which is not true.

Look. The truth of these matter is that.

Madam here, dont or no longer love her husband. Due to his inability to provide as he used to. She feels only hatred, and despise him. She has went through stages of suffering and supporting her home and the husband. So now she feels he'll no!

The truth again is that.

Woman of today Are not able to carry the pressure and amount of responsibilities that comes with marriage.

Only 1 child or 2. See them shouting. And reducing the man to zero value.

But our mothers had 8, 9 kids then but they still worked together to support and build there marriage.

So my final thought here is.

Due to the time we are in.

Life of immorality, adultery. Lack of self respect. Life of competition and wanting to be like others. Not cutting the cloths according to the size, Life of personal interest in marriages are the major reasons while these stories keeps on coming about our marriages of today.

Life and marriage could be very sweet and beautiful if only we went back to the drawing board and know that marriage is for better and for worse..

Loving and being a die hard fan and supporter of the person you claim you love.

When the husband is down... the wife would recognize these and push him up. Vice-versa

President2001:
You can never know his pain until you're in his shoe, just because he was silent does not making him a lazy man you need to put your best together so that he can overcome [ when you cheat you have a regret you will nurse till end of your life ] prayer is the key

That is it.

They are always quick to call a man lazy.

The man could be in so much pains. He may be losing it. He may be going through depression.

Since he is a man he must be perfect.

Trizyd:
Your husband might really be what claim he is, and I don't know at what point he lost his value and worth to you, but you are introducing him to people out here and you said "He is just two years older" .... just? Or you are ignorant of how that singular word changes the context of your introduction of this man? That word shows you don't place a value on the age difference between you too and that tells a whole lot on how you see him and consequently how you act to him.

I love your observations.

I can imagine what the husband has passed through her hand.

Take a good look at the comments on these thread from the ladies.

It's always about money to them.

They feel men should not or do not feel pain.

Once money is no longer available... they reduce the man to a nobody.

They always expect the man to magically do wonders to please them.

Just look at there comments.

They will be quick to rush into marriage because they see the man has. So they think all will be rosy.

Forgetting when they said "for better and for worse"

Which means there might always be a worse time.

I really want a planet without woman of these generation.

Because there can never be a generation like that of our Mothers.

These Once are only interested in what and how much they can get.

Borntosmoke:
This how this month goes. Thank you God.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏. God na your hand I deyooo

Do you mind kick starting me please

Please what is the minimum I can start with. Anyone willing to put me through to kick start these business please

Hotguy27:
I swear, before God and man, my wife has no trait of any of those things mentioned about women.

God just sent that woman to me. I didn't know how I merited that favour from God.
I married her as a virgin. I couldn't deflower her with my P even after applying the "almighty" verseline. I had to use hand to tear the stuff oo.

We have lived for over 12 years now and still balling. She is extremely hard working and also the best cook. She never demanded money for selfish spending and luckily, she started earning more than me after 11 years of earning peanuts from her former job. Very reserve and doesn't have much friends. She is extremely neat in and out.

I have only one confession to make about what I have tried to make her improve on - up till date, she confessed, she still feels shy to initiate sex with me but she is always ready any time I want it. But we all know that men like women to also make first move also.

From a married man to you.

You are blessed and highly favored.

Humans are always in competition for everything.

Thanks to The most High that at the end DEATH makes us all equal. Weather rich, poor. What ever you are you can never bribe it.

I belong to Jesus Christ

Let me add to that list.


Unforgiven Woman.

Guys don't pray to have a wife who has unforgiven spirit inbuilt.

Believe me. She will give malice to you, hate you with passion for as long as she wants. No talk or preaching penetrates her.

And I advice you single guys. Please before paying her bride price. Test her. Do something that will trigger her anger. Know weather her anger fit cook rice for 100 visitors for a party or a cup of rice.

It's important

Imagine expecting good government from people who could go as far as disfranchising others. Threatened and killed fellow citizens simply because they want to exercise there right.

During Buhari bad administration. All the atrocities that happened before anyone. Did Tinubu ever criticize or openly condemned anything.

We are all together in these. Either way. Good or bad. It will affect you, I, our friends, extended family's and work etc.

Am sure as Nigerians. The people will wake up when they get tired of suffering. But until then. They are not ready yet since they allowed very few to dictate the life of millions

Pickmycall:
The annoying scenario about this politicians convoy is that the eye service security will stop other road users who are paying taxes from driving through for hours because of one politician.

A seating president drove passed me with his convoy, hewas in the community for an event. Believe me. I only realized that it was the president after they have passed.

There was nothing like disturbing other road users.


And the worse case I have seen is.

There will always be a traffic cops officer on bike or vehicle who drives ahead and stations ONLY at the busy robots or stop signs to stop and make way or control the traffic when the convoy approach.
And these things are a normal thing. No one is beating, intimidated, slapped, flogged, abused.
Absolutely no drama.


So what's the show of power for

2go is still existing. Though not as popular as it used to be.

Alot has changed in it. And one big change I observed I a very high amount they now charge to retrieve your lost password and also they charge more now for credit. And some of these makes it hard for alot of people to get back in.

Chidolalar:
God made d world imperfect and created evil d very moment he could not forgive Adam and eve for disobedience and banish them from d garden of eve. How can a so called merciful and loving God who created humans in his own image and likeness and who religious fanatics claim his mercy endureth forever could not forgive Adam and eve for disobedience?
You claim God never forced us and yet he went ahead to create Adam d first human creature without his consent

The truth of the matter is that,

God does not need anyone consent to do anything.

You know why.

He God is the Almighty. He created everything. He is the Supreme and the Perfect God. God does not make mistakes.

The word consent as you and I understands it, it's not applicable to God. Because he created consent. He is the all knowing God.

Words are not enough to describe him.

He can't be questioned.

He created everything and said I was beautifu.
And don't forget his wishes are of Good and not of Evil.

And let me tell you. God is not interested in the earth and anything therein. His purpose is that we live with him.

Hence, all he requires from us to live with him is total repentance. Salvation.

Jennyclay:
Biko, Someone should come and take me to U.k, honestly I won’t end the relationship/marriage

Are you the same Jenny that wants men to learn to spend billions and trillions without expecting anything in return?

Roozzaay:
Evil people like her should remain blessed?

It's not in our place to Curse.

God bless you

Dshocker:
Exportation
Cocoa plantation
Coconut plantation
Poultry
Manufacturing of Bitter drinks
Food supply

All these i listed here can make you a billionaire.

Thank you. Atleast we all learn daily